The Next Stage - 12. Home is Where the Heart Is

“Welcome home.”

It wasn't the light pattering of rain starting that was making him not want to get out of Leo's car, but the sight of a suburban front door.

Noticing his hesitation, Ryan reaches a hand out to Jasper. “It looks better inside, I promise. And we’ll make it our own. Come on.” Ryan smiles with such optimism that Jasper sucks it up and takes his hand, trying to remain open-minded as he’s led to the door. Ryan makes a fuss out of unlocking the door together, then leaves the umbrella at the door and walks insider, dragging Jasper in with him.

The entrance is nice, tiled floors with a marbled effect. White walls, a few cut-outs where they could maybe put a house-plant or whatever adults with actual houses do. They'd never really decorated their apartment. The view had been the only decoration needed. But this was a home. Not some city view apartment bought to show off. A fairly suburban house where they would get to know their neighbours and live a real life.

It had potential. It’s only a short hallway, anyway. Through time, it'd probably turn into a portal of school photos so every visitor to the house could see the evolution of every year of their child's life summarized in gradually more toothless and dorky photos. If nothing else, it'd stop their kid from bringing potential dates over when they hit their teens.

The lounge area was huge. Large front facing windows that Jasper tries not to hate. Curtains would give them privacy, that’s an easy fix. They didn’t need fans staring through their windows in the middle of the day. He'd thought a lot about how much he wanted to expose his child to the world they lived in, and decided that his priority would be to raise their kid as close to normal as they could and to provide a safe and private home for them.

The kitchen was at least really nice. Even looking for reasons to not like it, Jasper couldn’t come up with many. Maybe just that it only had small windows to the backyard. He’d have liked a place where he could be making a cup of tea and seeing his kid explore the outside world all at once. Nothing that couldn't be changed. Knock down the wall and put in bigger windows. It was petty to pick flaws when there was realistically nothing that couldn't just be changed to suit their needs.

Upstairs was three rooms.

“Ours is the master, obviously. There’s an ensuite too.” Ryan eagerly shows him in. The bedroom and ensuite weren’t bad. Plenty of space to decorate with photos and whatnot. There was the balcony Ryan had been excited about and if it weren't now pouring rain, Jasper could see himself standing out there like Ryan had said. All the thoughts of his future, his role as a parent and the joys he'd get to experience were running through his head, but it was as though his brain forgot to signal an emotional response to those thoughts.

The room immediately beside theirs was already decidedly the nursery. It was small, most likely an office rather than a bedroom. Big enough for a cot and a change table, cupboard space for clothes. It was acceptable.

Down the hall was the spare room and Jasper was immediately aware this place was temporary, at best.

“Is there another room or is this it?” Jasper asks in a tone that Ryan had been dreading.

“Well, this is it...”

“So, if that is my studio, where do we sleep, guests? Like if I have Ellie over, where is she going to sleep?”

“Babe, we’re about to become parents. I don’t think we’ll be wanting anyone else’s kids to sleep over for a while.”

“So, putting aside the fact that I absolutely still want to babysit Ellie from time to time, because I love my niece. What about when our baby is out of the cot? The nursery is fine for now, but they are going to outgrow it.”

“Ok. I know it’s not perfect. But we were in a short time frame and I had to find us something. This was the best I could do. It ticked most of the boxes.” Ryan says, circling his arms around Jasper. “I promise it’ll look better when we get our stuff in here and actually set it up.”

“Where are we sleeping?” Jasper sighs and rests his head on Ryan’s shoulder, resigned to the fact this was already a done deal and there was no point arguing about it.

"Yeah. I'm just jetlagged as all fuck. And I need a shower," Jasper sighs.

Ryan gently rubs Jasper’s back. “You take a shower, leave sleeping arrangements to me.”

“I might just sleep in the bath,” Jasper shrugs, stepping away from Ryan and walking back down the hallway towards the bathroom.

“There aren't any towels here, I'll have to go out and get one for you.” Ryan calls out.

“That decides it. I’m sleeping in the bath.”

“Don’t drown.”

“Don’t be too long.”

 ***

Jasper wakes up when the water is cold. He was sure he hadn't actually gone to sleep, but he notices a single towel hanging on the towel rack and a mug of tea on the vanity unit that he hadn't heard being brought in. The rain outside was heavier now and there was only a heat lamp lighting the bathroom. It hadn't been a long enough sleep for him to feel properly rested. In fact, he felt like he'd only closed his eyes for 5 minutes, but when he pokes a finger in the tea, he finds it lukewarm. For him to be asleep long enough for Ryan to go out and buy a towel, return and make him a drink, and for that drink to be verging on cold, suggested more of a sleep than his body was giving him credit for.

Ryan might have bought a house he wasn’t super keen on, but at least he knew exactly how to make Jasper’s tea. It was just a tad sweeter than Jasper would normally make it, but it tasted like it was made with love. Ryan was trying really hard and Jasper felt bad for being a pessimist about everything. He decides to skip getting dressed and try this whole ‘appreciative’ thing. Tour had taken a lot out of them both, but he wanted to start life now, being nothing but loving and affectionate. To wake up with a cup of tea by the tub showed him that Ryan was already doing just that and deserved to know how much those little actions meant to Jasper.

Jasper shuffles down the hallway and down the stairs, barely holding the towel around himself and walking right into the lounge room.

“Oh, Jasper, how are you going?” Jules greets him with an unphased smile as she focuses intently on his face.

“Hi! Sorry. I’ll be right back, I was just...” Jasper is so busy trying to rescue his dignity with the towel that he trails off on making up an excuse for his nudity.

Ryan pops his head around from the kitchen and his eyes drift up and down Jasper. “I brought the suitcases in. They are up in the bedroom,” he calls out.

“Awesome, thank you. That’s what I was coming to ask.” Jasper lies poorly, then disappears upstairs. “Can’t wait to get our own place and have some privacy.” Jasper mutters to himself, mocking what Ran had been saying all along. He flicks on the light in the bedroom and sees a blow-up mattress on the floor, his and Ryan’s suit cases beside it. He doesn’t even bother being mad about it, just finds himself some clothes and gets dressed.

Back downstairs, Jules is in the kitchen chatting happily with Ryan and sipping at a glass of wine.

"So good to see you again," she grins, shoving her glass to Ryan and throwing her arms around Jasper in a tight hug. "Have you been eating?" She moves her hands to his arms and squeezes him. "Feels like I'm going to get a papercut hugging you."

"I think tour drained me in every way," Jasper plays it off.

"You can't afford to lose any more weight."

"Don't worry, in a few months time magazines will be reporting me as having a dad bod, I'm sure." The sarcasm was there but it didn't make the suggestion any less probable.

“Isn't it exciting! I was just dropping around because I’ve got some things for the baby.” Jules announces, gesturing to a box on the bench. “I may have gotten a little too excited about the first grandchild.”

“As you should be, that's what being a grandparent is all about.” Jasper smiles politely and opens the box. It’s full of gender-neutral clothes and comforters.

“How are your parents feeling about it?” Jules asks.

“Jasper hasn’t told them yet.” Ryan answers for him. It’s not said in a nasty tone, but Jasper knew it was eating away at him, that Jasper's parents weren’t aware of their baby plans.

“Oh.” Jules doesn’t ask further, though the silence afterwards was painful. “Well, I’d better get going. I’ve got a date tonight.” Jules winks at Jasper. “I’ll be around on the weekend for the baby shower. Let me know if you need anything else in the meantime. Love you both.” Jules goes to Jasper first, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before Ryan walks her out.

“We’re having a baby shower on the weekend?” Jasper asks when Ryan gets back. He’s unpacked half the box, looking over every single onesie, singlet and set of socks.

“It’s a bit of a housewarming/baby shower/welcome back from tour get together.” Ryan replies. “Are you hungry?”

"What'd she cook for us?"

"I cooked us a pasta bake."

"You expect me to believe that, when your mum was literally just here? And you would never make pasta bake. If you cooked, it'd be some zucchini and kale bake." Jasper teases, sitting up on the counter and watching as Ryan takes the hot meal from the oven that had definitely not been used.

"I figure I'll offset the carbs over the next few days, setting up things around the house. How was the bath?"

“Good, actually. And the tea was lovely to wake up to.”

“It was probably cold. You were out of it. I came in to wake you and you just mumbled at me to fuck off. Didn't even open your eyes.”

"Sorry I'm a jerk,” Jasper shrugs. “I was coming to thank you. I didn’t realise we’d have company.”

“I wasn’t expecting her either.” Ryan replies with a sigh. "She is very keen to help out getting us ready for the baby, though.”

"I can see that." Jasper nods towards the box.

“Some of it's apparently my old clothes. There’s a blanket in the bottom of it made of onesies I used to wear, apparently.” Ryan rifles through the box and pulls it out.

“That’s very cute.” Jasper smiles and takes the blanket from Ryan, looking at all the patches of clothing. “Ha. Ladies' man. How’s that working out for you?” Jasper teases.

“Yeah, I’m thinking we don’t buy any clothes with presumptuous statements on it.” Ryan laughs, resting his chin on Jasper's shoulder and looking down at the blanket with a fond smile.

"It's getting a bit real now." Jasper says, folding the blanket neatly and returning it to the box.

"Just 'a bit'? Any day now could be the day we meet our baby."

"As long as Grace doesn't sneeze before Saturday or it may be a real 'baby shower'."

"I'm thinking we need to organize a spa day for Grace as a thank you after she gives birth." Ryan suggests.

"Or vaginal rejuvenation surgery," Jasper shrugs. Ryan stares at him like he's said something wrong. "What? I watched Ellie come out. I know how stretched all of that gets."

"As much as I don't want to engage in this conversation, least of all over dinner, do not offer your sister that. She's going through enough without being humiliated as a reward."

"I'm just saying, if my body had to do what her body has to do, I'd be wanting plastic surgery to restore to factory settings." Jasper states, picking at his dinner.

"You of all people should know that just because something gets stretched doesn't mean it stays that way." Ryan comments.

"And how many births have you seen, Ry? I get that their bodies are made to birth humans, but you watch this kid come out and tell me you aren't at least a little confused at how something that traumatic to the body can just 'go back to how it was'." Jasper shrugs.

"I don't know if I want to watch your sister give birth. That would be weird."

"Why?"

"Because she's your sister and I don't know if I'm comfortable seeing that."

"Trust me, you don't know what you're looking at when there's a human flying out of there."

"Can we be done with this conversation? I'm trying to eat." Ryan states, staring down at his plate with a stressed expression.

“Thank you for finding us a house while I was preoccupied with tour,” Jasper says softly.

Ryan looks at him, clearly surprised. "Do you like it?"

Jasper doesn't answer, just steps forward and kisses Ryan. He runs his fingers up the back of Ryan's neck, into his hair, and touches their foreheads together. "It's not the place that matters, it's the person."

"So, you hate the place?" Ryan asks in a whisper.

"Thankfully, I love the person. Nothing else really matters."

Ryan groans in defeat. "Nice save."

"If only I was that good at saving every other aspect of my life. What have the headlines been saying?" Jasper slips his arms over Ryan's shoulders and swaying in his arms, despite there not being any music. Ryan pulls his phone out, his other hand resting on Jasper's lower back. He sways with Jasper, reading headlines out over his shoulder.

"'Controversial Couple Back in Center Stage.' 'RySper Once Again Sailing, But is Jasper's Career Sinking?' 'Solo Artist Jasper Reid Silent Amid Corruption Scandal' 'Obsolete or Opportunist? Jasper Reid Accused of Manufacturing Drama for his Career' 'Obsolete Scandals; Former Member Announces Divorce as his Two Ex-Band-Mates Confirm Relationship'"

"Let me guess, the announcement is something along the lines of 'the distance was too hard with the pandemic' and completely ignores the multiple occasions where he cheated?" Jasper asks in a snarky tone.

"Want me to keep reading or have we moved onto criticising other people's lives and choices now?" Ryan asks with equal amounts of sarcasm.

"Just saying, I don't condone it. Either open the relationship or end it. Don't put your dick in someone else and pretend like your divorce was about 'distance'."

"'Pop Icon Caught in Fraud Scandal.'" Ryan continues. "It's alleged that fans were given the opportunity to participate in a raffle to be flown out and meet her, however, the name of the winning participant was found to be fake sparking mass demands for refunds and the star's career being 'cancelled. Investigations are underway. See, you're not the only person out there with negative headlines." Ryan smiles as he lifts Jasper's chin and looks into his eyes. "It'll blow over and people will forget about this."

"I live for the day I get cancelled. It better be for something really good. If I get cancelled for anything less than top shelf drama, I'll be pissed." Jasper replies with a cheeky smirk. He turns to the bench and sits up on it, snatching Ryan's phone.

"My money is on this smart mouth of yours opening and saying something that gets you in trouble."

"Now that I'm in a whirlwind of drama, it's only a matter of time before I start something with the wrong person." Jasper sighs, as though excited by the idea. He taps away on Ryan's phone with a grin.

"Are you stirring drama now?" Ryan asks.

"Nope, just messing with fans on twitter." Jasper turns the phone around to show a post about their on stage banter and the chemistry between them. Most of the comments were from their fans saying things like 'couple goals!' 'Aw, I'm so happy they worked things out!' 'These guys are proof that true love exists!' Then there were more fun comments, like one quoting Ryan's remark about being jealous of the microphone followed by a bunch of screenshots of Jasper with his lips pressed to the microphone, singing passionately. Jasper had gone through and reacted to all the positive and funny comments supporting them.

Jasper had re-tweeted one comment, 'Ryan not taking any of Jasper's shit is my kink', just saying 'lol same 😜 '

Ryan puts his phone down, pushes Jasper's legs apart, and steps in close. "This is how you're returning to social media? With an insinuatively sexual tweet?" Ryan asks as he kisses Jasper's neck.

"Absolutely. I'm back with a vengeance."

"Don't mess with them too much."

"What are you going to do about it?" Jasper teases, wrapping his legs around Ryan's waist.

"Well, not take any of your shit, that's for sure." Ryan whispers.

"Try me."

Ryan smirks, holding Jasper's chin. "Shut the hell up," he orders before kissing him hard and forcing him back against the bench.