Sammy's Kitchen - 8. Chapter 8

Online classes have never been such torture. I was sitting next to Jake but we didn't look at each other even once. It doesn't mean I have been paying any attention to the teacher. I just daydreamed, trying to make the time pass as quickly as possible.

The tension between Jake and me wasn't helping. I didn't feel like talking. He knew better than to force himself onto me. I knew I was hurting him but there was nothing I could do.

When the final class mercifully ended, I just closed my laptop, threw myself on the bed and buried my head in my pillow. A minute later I felt Jake sit next to me and place his hand on my shoulder. I didn't budge and he moved his hand to my head.

He caressed my hair gently. "Sammy…"

"Leave me," I said, my voice muffled by the pillow.

Any other person in the world would keep pressing me and force themselves onto me. Jake just placed a small kiss on my head, stood up, and left the room silently. Five minutes later, I heard the front door open and the apartment fell silent.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I repeated, punching the mattress. Indeed, I felt like the worst idiot on the planet. What was I thinking? I posted a video that was a striptease game between two minors… and twin brothers if things weren’t bad enough.

I didn't get to see the comments before the channel got blocked. I wondered what they were but then again, I probably wouldn't want to know anyway.

Instead of pushing my career forward, I crippled it. Stupid!

To think of it, a few days without access to my account was really not that bad. It could easily end up in a permanent ban and I would have no arguments to make them change their decision.

We went too far. Why wasn't it so obvious to me yesterday? Sure, I wanted the channel to grow and I wanted it to happen soon but I would be a total hypocrite if I denied that I liked it. Yes, making a sexy video for people to watch and react to was giving me an unspeakable thrill. I wanted to keep doing this. If I could turn back time, I'd likely do it again. And if I find a way, I will do it again.

It made me feel like a freak. That was the only thing I could think about all day.
I knew I should get up and make food for my family but I felt physically tired. My muscles were weak and my head felt heavy. I drifted into sleep.

It was 4 pm when I woke up. I sat on the bed and looked around. The house felt empty so it probably was.

"I'm better now," I texted Jake.

He came home twenty minutes later. I heard him undress and a moment later he gently kicked open the door to our room and went inside with a smiling but worried face and two bags of Burger King in his hands. He placed them on my bed without a word, sat next to me and we ate in silence. He gave me all his sauces, too.

After we finished eating, he was about to take the trash out of the room when I stopped him and just placed it on the floor.

"Stay," I said and took his hand. He squeezed it and offered me a weak smile. "It's been a while since we last had junk food," I noticed.

"I wish I could cook as good as you and feed you from time to time, too, Sammy."

"You feed me every day, Jakey. You feed my soul! I'm sorry for the way I've been today. I feel like a complete loser." When he was about to protest, I added, "and don't you dare say that it's all your fault."

"It's no one's fault, Sammy. It's this stupid, uptight world we live in, nothing else."

"I still want to make the channel with you, Jakey."

"It's good to hear. We'll just take it slow, right?"

"Yes, Jakey. I'd like this channel to be about cooking and sharing my food with you. Nothing else. How does that sound? Can we make it interesting?"

"We will, Sammy. I know it."

"I was thinking about selling the iPhone."

"What? You can't do it, Sammy!"

"I know… but I was thinking about it. Mom is killing herself to provide for us and what are we doing? Spending money on our cravings and posting soft porn on YouTube."

"Sammy… it's alright. She just wants us to live happy lives. And it works! Maybe now we're finally old enough to try and do something about it but don't beat yourself up if you can’t make it happen yet."

"I hope you're not saying this just to convince me that we should do nothing?"

"No! I'm positive we should do something. I'm saying this so that you don’t get mad at me when I show you what I got for us today."

I sighed. "Come on, Jakey… if it's something expensive..."

Jake reached back to his back pocket and pulled out two cinema tickets.

"Friday evening, Sammy. Just you and me. Then we can come home and have a nice dinner and… some fun if you feel like it."

I took the tickets from his hand and stared at them, weighing the significance of this gift. Jake fidgeted anxiously, awaiting my reaction.

"You are so sweet, Jakey. I'd love to go with you. It sounds amazing and I'm going to need it if I survive this week."

"You will, Sammy. I'm here for you."

"I know, Jakey. Even if you're not here, you're always here,” I put my hand on my heart. “Thank you for giving me space when I needed it."

"So, what's the matter?" Jake asked. He had always been very perceptive of my feelings. Most of the time, I loved it about him.

"I mean…it all sort of sounds like a date, doesn't it?"

"I hope it does. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sammy."

Jake's words gave me chills and I grabbed his hands. "Shit, Jakey, you know I do, too. But… doesn't it overwhelm you? No one will ever accept us. Even Mom."

"So what, Sammy? I don't need anyone's approval. Just be yourself. Do your thing. If our friends don't accept us, it means they were never real friends in the first place."

"I know, Jakey… it's just… it scares me."

Jake gave me a peck on my forehead. "I got you, babe." Then he hugged me and we just stayed like that in silence.

Everything seemed more optimistic when I was being held by Jake. After a while, I let out a long sigh.

"You are right about everything, Jakey. I just need some time to process it."

"That's what my coach always says. Take one day at a time, Sammy."

I just smiled and kissed him gently. Jake kissed me back and we held each other even tighter.

***

The conversation made me feel a lot better. I forced myself to stop thinking about my suspended account. I gathered my courage and texted Dean. We haven't talked much ever since his "wtf" comment on the ice cream video. I knew for sure I couldn't take a single step back in my relationship with Jake, so the best I could do was to slowly embrace it. Dean and I texted about this and that and eventually decided to take a walk around the town and hang out with some of our other friends. He didn't mention the rice ball video or my suspended account and I didn't either. Maybe it meant he hadn't noticed. Maybe it meant he didn't want to discuss it in front of the others. Or at all.

***

We spent most of the week working on our busy schedules. In the evenings, Jake and I would play games and watch movies as always, but we also started making a list of video ideas and tried to arrange them in some sort of an organized schedule, with a new video once a week. Jake started watching video editing tutorials and seemed really determined to help me make the channel grow. On Wednesday, he surprised me when he showed me a finished cut of the tapas video featuring Sasha and the two teammates.

I was in a state of deep shock. Jake took almost three hours of raw cooking material and put it together into something extremely watchable. I knew I still needed to record some extra voiceover to clarify certain parts, but I wouldn’t mind posting it like it was. Then we got to the eating segment. I was still looking at it with a frown, but when it reached the moment where Jake zoomed in on my sad face, turned it to black and white, and added sad violin music, I snorted. It suddenly looked like it was all intentional.

The scene of Jake giving me a kiss on my cheek also made it into the cut.

“See, little bro? Now we only have to record an ending to it and you can upload it as soon as they give you your account back.”

“I can’t believe it, Jakey. You never edited a video in your life. It was sweet and hilarious!”

“I’m a fast learner. I only had to come up with some ideas and look up things as I went along."

He was beaming with pride. I threw my hands around his neck and we hugged for a few seconds. Then we kissed and my hand wandered to the bulge of his shorts.

"When is Mom coming home, Jakey?"

"I don't know, soon, I guess," Jake said with a raspy voice.

"Let's take a shower, Jakey."

I was so horny for him that we didn't waste time on anything super creative. We masturbated each other and kissed in the shower. At one point, jake started licking my lips and face like a dog. I chuckled and started licking him back while we kept jerking each other off.

"I'm almost there, Sammy."

"Me too, Jakey. On the count of three?"

"Yes."

We looked down and started counting together.

"One, two, uhhh, three!" We moaned and started shooting. I felt my warm cum landing on my hand that was stroking Jake. Jake's seed shot violently and landed on my dick and his fingers. When our dicks started oozing, we brought them together and kissed again as our orgasms subsided and the shower water got rid of the evidence. We slowly relaxed until our breaths calmed down.

***

On Thursday after school, I worked on finalizing the tapas video. What I got from Jake was pretty much publish-ready, so it didn’t take a lot of time.

It was still two days until my account would get unbanned and there was one more thing to do.

Jake had another game in the afternoon and I decided to come and see it. I wasn't a huge fan of soccer or sports in general but the situation after the last game taught me one thing. I shouldn't try to make everything about me and my cooking. It had been so selfish of me to use Jake's game as an excuse to flex on him with my cooking skills and make yet another stupid video.

I never told him I was coming. The days were short this time of the year and it was already getting dark. The town stadium was well lit and I sat alone on the bleachers. There were maybe fifty people watching the game. Considering the cold weather, it wasn't bad. I didn't know anyone else. I regretted I didn't ask Dean or someone to come with me because they didn't even start playing and I was already bored.

Then the teams started pouring on the pitch. I saw Sasha among them, as well as Patrick and Nate (I asked Jake for their names but still wasn't sure who was who). They were wearing their winter soccer clothes but there was something about Sasha's body type that I found mesmerizing. He was slimmer than Jake and me but he was taller and his calves, thighs, and butt were perfectly rounded. He walked slowly with confidence as he warmed up, making big circles with his arms. I wasn't surprised when I noticed he was wearing the captain's armband. Then I saw Jake. He was sitting on the bench. It looked like the coach didn't let him play from the first whistle again. I hoped nothing was wrong.

When they started playing, I wasn't any less bored than before. I was switching my attention from Jake to Sasha. Jake was talking to his teammates on the bench and Sasha was being a total alpha on the field. His mid-length haircut was a little weird. Perhaps this was how they did it where he came from. But he was so good-looking and confident that he still looked very attractive. Everyone else in his place would be ridiculed.

I looked at the left wing, where Jake would normally play. There was a boy I think they referred to as Brian or Billy or something like that. Oh yes, it was Billy. Supposedly he wasn't very good. And with no mistake, in less than ten minutes, he lost the ball twice in situations that looked clumsy even to me. I think it was the 12th minute when he got a ball and started running along the left line. No one was there to block him so he looked at Sasha who was running into the goal area. Billy passed the ball but it went well off and high above everyone's heads and out of the field. I heard disappointed groans and even some laughs from the opposite team. Sasha got red in his face and approached the other boy angrily. I didn't hear what he was saying but he wasn’t pleased. Billy was looking at his shoes and didn't say a word.

A few minutes later, it all went to hell. One of our defenders intercepted the ball near our goal post and passed it to Billy, who immediately lost it to the opposite team's striker, who scored an impressive goal from about 50 feet. The other team cheered and celebrated. I looked at Sasha who walked right to Billy and pushed him so hard that Billy fell on the ground. Billy got up to his feet and they were about to start fighting but other teammates separated them. Fuck. This Billy dude was no good but Sasha had some anger control issues. I knew nothing about soccer but I didn't think I would make him the team's captain. A moment later, their coach called them to the sideline and there was a heated discussion for about two minutes. I saw Jake join and it looked like he was trying to calm Sasha down. Suddenly, Billy grabbed his things and left to the changing rooms with a red face. The coach talked to the team for one more minute while Jake was changing and warming up. Shortly, the teams resumed the match and three minutes later, my brother filled the missing spot on the left wing.

The drama made the show a little interesting for a while but then the game became dull again - at least to me. I waited for moments when I could see Jake's or Sasha's butt well and imagine which one was tighter... Nothing significant happened for the rest of the first half. At the beginning of the second, Jake made a long-range, direct pass to Sasha who passed it back to Jake because he was being attacked by three defenders. Jake scored a fantastic volley and it made me ecstatic.

I stood up and shouted: "Go Jakey!"

That made him notice me. Jake opened his eyes wide and smiled. He made a heart shape with his two index fingers and then pointed at me. Everyone looked in my direction and I sat back down, going red all over my face.

The game ended with a draw and I was hoping Jake would appreciate my sacrifice. I was hoping I'd find it more interesting with time because I really wanted to be there for Jake more often from now on.

Twenty minutes later I was waiting in front of the changing room exit. A few players left and then I saw Sasha talking animatedly to Jake. I lost all my confidence because I wanted to talk to both, but separately.

Then suddenly a girl our age approached the boys and hugged Jake. Then she hugged Sasha who pulled her for a kiss. She was very pretty from what I could tell and she seemed very happy to see Sasha. Jake left them alone and came to me.

"Hey little bro, I didn't expect you here."

"Surprise," I smiled at him. "Can you wait for me here, Jakey? I need to talk to Sasha real quick."

"Oh yeah? No worries, Sammy, I'm not leaving without you."

I trotted towards Sasha and his girlfriend because they were slowly walking away. I tensed up. At least they weren't holding hands or kissing anymore.

"Uh, hey Sasha."

"Hi Sammy," he said and they looked at me expectantly.

"Uh, I wanted to ask you something. Do you remember when you came to our house after your last game? You know the one when you scored four goals."

"Yes, why?" he said and even though he was trying to play it cool, I saw the slightest glimmer of pride in his eyes. His girlfriend looked at him with admiration.

"You probably didn't notice but I was in the middle of recording a video and it sort of turned hilarious and interesting with you storming in the kitchen… would you mind being in the final video?"

"I don't know, I guess not. Can you send it to me first?"

"Sure. I'll add you on Instagram, okay?"

"Cool. Take my number from Jake if you want."

"Okay, Sasha. I'll message you later."

***

I waited for a little longer for Patrick and Nate to show up and they didn’t have any issues with them being in the video even though I couldn’t help but think that they were looking at me funny.

“What was that about?” Jake asked when I rejoined him.

“Uh, I just didn’t want to post the tapas video without their consent.”

“Very noble of you, Sammy. You could’ve asked me to talk to them, you know.”

Yeah, and make me even more invisible in your friends’ eyes. Make them treat me even less seriously with my weird hobby.

“I know but I wanted to do it myself,” I said instead.

“No shame in asking me for help, Sammy. I’m your manager, right?”

“The best manager in the world, Jakey.”