Blackbird Singing - 3. Chapter 3-Exploration of Tanka poems

5 hours ago, AC Benus said:

These are very good Tanka. I think in terms of the self-help checklist provided in chapter 1of Zero to Hero, you've done very well! Perhaps the one with Som could have a stronger seasonal allusion, but then again, if this collection is more closely related to modern Japanese Tanka, then the way it's written is perfectly fine. Great job.

I particularly like the Zen-type of irony (humor) of the mosquito poem. Yay for your grim geckos!

Thanks for you great observations AC!  I have to say that Zero to Hero was a great help. Seasons are a problem since even in the rainy season the rain is heavy, but often in the evening or morning after perfectly clear skies.  The only way I could think to include the seasonal reference was to change leap to spring.  Very oblique reference.  

1 hour ago, raven1 said:

Thanks for you great observations AC!  I have to say that Zero to Hero was a great help. Seasons are a problem since even in the rainy season the rain is heavy, but often in the evening or morning after perfectly clear skies.  The only way I could think to include the seasonal reference was to change leap to spring.  Very oblique reference.  

Monsoon is a great seasonal word, but even where you are, different flowers and trees bloom at different times of the year. A naming of any one of them fulfills the seasonal word requirement of the Tanka form. But so does anything seen at a particular time of the year: say, firecrackers at new years; moon cakes in autumn, etc. 

2 minutes ago, Backwoods Boy said:

Thanks for another glimpse into your happy life in Thailand.  May your adventure continue for a very long time  

Thanks Jon!  I am happy that you are enjoying these glimpses.  Someday I hope to be able to give readers more of a panorama view like you have been writing in Backwoods Reflections. 

I love these. Som's tanka is a favorite. I can see her hunting with her golden eyes, feel your fear for her. You found perfect words. Your occasional alliterations made me linger.  Flying feathered prey,  raucous roar, or my all-time favorite, grim geckos.

14 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Monsoon is a great seasonal word, but even where you are, different flowers and trees bloom at different times of the year. A naming of any one of them fulfills the seasonal word requirement of the Tanka form. But so does anything seen at a particular time of the year: say, firecrackers at new years; moon cakes in autumn, etc. 

As alway AC great advice!  I will stick to the flowers, shrubs and trees that only bloom once a year, and foods that are related to holidays.  That will help a lot in defining the seasons here.  I can also use fireworks other than firecrackers. Fireworks are good since they are only used for Loi Krathong and all three New Years celebrated here.  That means they are all used during a part of dry season from November to April.  

6 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

I enjoyed these a lot.  Especially the one about Som and the geckos eating the mosquitos.  You're off to a wonderful start! Keep up the great work!

Those are two I especially enjoyed writing.  BTW, I want to thank you for challenging me to start writing way back when we worked together with the theme committee.  ❤️ 

On 5/4/2023 at 10:25 PM, James Carnarvon said:

Wonderful poems again. I know nothing about the form, but I love the relationship with nature that comes across so vividly here.

As a cat person, I particularly liked the poem about Som. Your photo surprised me though. With a name like that, I expected her to be well, orange… (although thinking about it I think ginger fur is more of a male trait in cats).

In terms of a personal perspective contained in the poem, my favourite was probably “stay hidden, except from me”. It conveyed a feeling and appreciation without having to spell it out.

Hi @James Carnarvon,  Sorry that I didn't see and respond to this sooner.  Thanks for reading these and commenting on them, James!  This form, Tonka, predate Haiku poems which derived from them.  It shares much in common with Haiku poems.  I love both Tonka and Haiku poems because of how they capture nature.  As for Som (Orange), she was named by my boyfriend, Aod.  I don't know why other than to suspect she was named after his favorite fruit. I am glad that you caught what I wanted to convey by "stay hidden, except from me".  I wanted to observe their cycle of life while they remained hidden and safe.

It must be a beautiful and intriguing place where you live, Terry. The small mysteries, the differences, come across wonderfully in your verse. I can't imagine geckos climbing my walls, in search of mosquitoes!

I did love the verse dedicated to Som, the warning about leaping too fast and too far. It shows a true knowledge of cats, and an affection for the ways they can get themselves into mischief, only to later turn and look at you as if they were totally surprised about it all! They need those nine lives, because every day is a dare to them.

Thanks for sharing these. Your powers of observation, and ability to transfer what you see into words, is special.

 Your comments are always greatly appreciated.  Som is one of many special pets, and I am writing another poem dedicated to the little rascal.  It will be a lyric poem written to a GA prompt.  I have been struggling with the form as well as the words, but I should be ready to add it as another chapter to this collection soon.  Here is a picture of Som on my GA photo collection, Terry's Thailand, Everyday and Travels.   I do enjoy reading your wonderful comments. Thanks!