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    raven1
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Blackbird Singing - 3. Chapter 3-Exploration of Tanka poems

Tanka poems are older than Haiku, different but beautiful. Haiku are distilled from the Tanka forms. They were more difficult for me to write, because the require a reference to season and a more personal point of view that sounds like the poet is speaking to the reader directly. Thailand has only two seasons, rainy and dry. If the poem refers to storms then it is rainy season, otherwise dry if clear skies or lack of rain. My poems are set in mundane places from balcony and sidewalks to exotic like the jungle.
I want to thank all the people who have encouraged me and inspired me, but especially Aditus. Auditus' gentle words and focused comments have helped me take rough poems and revise them into poems I hope you enjoy.

* Som is my cat. In Thai her name means Orange.

 

Tanka poems:

Som’s fierce gold eyes glow

tracking flying feathered prey,

I fear for her life,

her muscles tighten to spring.

Don’t jump! Down is a long way!

 

Fragrant green jungle,

frogs croaking to cicadas,

twilight’s raucous roar.

Then they yield to the darkness

bringing quiet sleep to me.

 

Black bird with white stripes

are you searching through the trees,

seeking a safe place

for your mate and family?

Stay hidden, except from me.

 

Monsoon mosquitoes

invading my balcony,

know my grim geckos

will race up walls, and ceilings

to chomp you ere you bite me.

 

You chatter and bark

as you jump from limb to limb,

race over rooftops,

and play tag on wires high up,

bringing laughter to my heart.

Thank you for reading my poems. I appreciate the time you took to read them, and hope you will feel free to comment. I will quickly respond to your comments.
https://gayauthors.org/gallery/image/16778-orange1jpeg/
Copyright © 2023 raven1; All Rights Reserved.
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Thank you for reading this poem.  I encourage comments and will try to respond quickly to them.  My hope is this poem will leave you feeling a little bit happier for reading it.
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

5 hours ago, AC Benus said:

These are very good Tanka. I think in terms of the self-help checklist provided in chapter 1of Zero to Hero, you've done very well! Perhaps the one with Som could have a stronger seasonal allusion, but then again, if this collection is more closely related to modern Japanese Tanka, then the way it's written is perfectly fine. Great job.

I particularly like the Zen-type of irony (humor) of the mosquito poem. Yay for your grim geckos!

Thanks for you great observations AC!  I have to say that Zero to Hero was a great help. Seasons are a problem since even in the rainy season the rain is heavy, but often in the evening or morning after perfectly clear skies.  The only way I could think to include the seasonal reference was to change leap to spring.  Very oblique reference. :gikkle: 

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AC Benus

Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, raven1 said:

Thanks for you great observations AC!  I have to say that Zero to Hero was a great help. Seasons are a problem since even in the rainy season the rain is heavy, but often in the evening or morning after perfectly clear skies.  The only way I could think to include the seasonal reference was to change leap to spring.  Very oblique reference. :gikkle: 

Monsoon is a great seasonal word, but even where you are, different flowers and trees bloom at different times of the year. A naming of any one of them fulfills the seasonal word requirement of the Tanka form. But so does anything seen at a particular time of the year: say, firecrackers at new years; moon cakes in autumn, etc. 

Edited by AC Benus
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2 minutes ago, Backwoods Boy said:

Thanks for another glimpse into your happy life in Thailand.  May your adventure continue for a very long time :) 

Thanks Jon!  I am happy that you are enjoying these glimpses.  Someday I hope to be able to give readers more of a panorama view like you have been writing in Backwoods Reflections:hug:

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I love these. Som's tanka is a favorite. I can see her hunting with her golden eyes, feel your fear for her. You found perfect words. Your occasional alliterations made me linger.  Flying feathered preyraucous roar, or my all-time favorite, grim geckos.

 

 

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14 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Monsoon is a great seasonal word, but even where you are, different flowers and trees bloom at different times of the year. A naming of any one of them fulfills the seasonal word requirement of the Tanka form. But so does anything seen at a particular time of the year: say, firecrackers at new years; moon cakes in autumn, etc. 

As alway AC great advice!  I will stick to the flowers, shrubs and trees that only bloom once a year, and foods that are related to holidays.  That will help a lot in defining the seasons here.  I can also use fireworks other than firecrackers. Fireworks are good since they are only used for Loi Krathong and all three New Years celebrated here.  That means they are all used during a part of dry season from November to April.  

 

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6 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

I enjoyed these a lot.  Especially the one about Som and the geckos eating the mosquitos.  You're off to a wonderful start! Keep up the great work!

Those are two I especially enjoyed writing.  BTW, I want to thank you for challenging me to start writing way back when we worked together with the theme committee.  ❤️ 

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Posted (edited)

On 5/4/2023 at 10:25 PM, James Carnarvon said:

Wonderful poems again. I know nothing about the form, but I love the relationship with nature that comes across so vividly here.

As a cat person, I particularly liked the poem about Som. Your photo surprised me though. With a name like that, I expected her to be well, orange… (although thinking about it I think ginger fur is more of a male trait in cats).

In terms of a personal perspective contained in the poem, my favourite was probably “stay hidden, except from me”. It conveyed a feeling and appreciation without having to spell it out.

Hi @James Carnarvon,  Sorry that I didn't see and respond to this sooner.  Thanks for reading these and commenting on them, James! :hug: This form, Tonka, predate Haiku poems which derived from them.  It shares much in common with Haiku poems.  I love both Tonka and Haiku poems because of how they capture nature.  As for Som (Orange), she was named by my boyfriend, Aod.  I don't know why other than to suspect she was named after his favorite fruit. I am glad that you caught what I wanted to convey by "stay hidden, except from me".  I wanted to observe their cycle of life while they remained hidden and safe.

Edited by raven1
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It must be a beautiful and intriguing place where you live, Terry. The small mysteries, the differences, come across wonderfully in your verse. I can't imagine geckos climbing my walls, in search of mosquitoes!

I did love the verse dedicated to Som, the warning about leaping too fast and too far. It shows a true knowledge of cats, and an affection for the ways they can get themselves into mischief, only to later turn and look at you as if they were totally surprised about it all! They need those nine lives, because every day is a dare to them.

Thanks for sharing these. Your powers of observation, and ability to transfer what you see into words, is special.

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 Your comments are always greatly appreciated.  Som is one of many special pets, and I am writing another poem dedicated to the little rascal.  It will be a lyric poem written to a GA prompt.  I have been struggling with the form as well as the words, but I should be ready to add it as another chapter to this collection soon.  Here is a picture of Som on my GA photo collection, Terry's Thailand, Everyday and Travels.   I do enjoy reading your wonderful comments. Thanks!

 

 

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