Those Cerulean Eyes - 9. Chapter 9

TUESDAY MORNING, DAY 21

I missed class yesterday. I just finished personally explaining to the professor that I had been at the hospital to be with a very close friend who is critically ill and unconscious, and fortunately he understood. He even gave me a copy of his lecture notes, telling me that he hoped that my friend recovers.

“Is it by any chance the young man that I’ve noticed waiting for you after class?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. That’s him.”

“And has his condition improved today?”

“I hope so, sir. I’m going to the hospital to be with him as soon as I leave here.”

“Well, take my prayers with you, Mark. You’re a very good student and a good young man. I’m sure that he is too.”

“He is, sir. He’s the absolute best.”

“Then go, be with him. Take tomorrow too, if necessary. We’ll work around it. He is obviously very important to you.” It probably didn’t take much for him to figure out my relationship with Mickey.

EARLY TUESDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 21

“Has there been any change?” I ask Marilyn as I enter the ICU lounge.

“Very little, I’m afraid. He is still in and out of consciousness, which I hope is an improvement, Mark.”

“You look tired, Marilyn. Why don’t you go home, get some sleep and freshen up. I’ll call you if there’s a change.”

“I can’t do that, Mark. But you’re being here helps tremendously to relieve my stress and anxiety. I can’t tell you how much you mean to me at this moment in my life. I hope that Mickey fully realizes what he has in you and will never abuse it again.”

Me too, Marilyn. Me too.

At that moment Mickey’s doctor enters the lounge and says, “Your son has regained consciousness, Ms. Hodges. He is lucid and asking for you.”

“Oh my God, thank you, Lord,” she sighs as the doctor ushers her out of the lounge.

“Thank you too, Lord,” I whisper as I slump back into the sofa in a rush of relief. “Now please let Mickey come out of this without any complications or long-term effects. It’s all I have left to ask of you.”

Roughly one half hour later I feel Marilyn shake me awake. “How… How is he?” I croak, trying to find my voice.

She smiles. “See for yourself, Mark. He’s asking for you, and his doctor has approved for you to see him.”

“Oh my… How do I look?” I ask, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and then running my fingers through my hair that I know is tousled from sleeping on the couch.

She laughs, something that I haven’t heard in a while. “You look fine, Mark. He doesn’t care how you look. He just wants to see you.”

“Does he remember anything?”

“Yes, he does, which is a very good thing.”

For him maybe, but is it a good thing for me, since the last time I saw him I left him, feeling angry and didn’t ever want to see him again. I straighten myself, then push through the doors to ICU, hoping that Mickey will be happy to see me.

“Hey, Mickey,” I smile as I approach his bed with trepidation. “I’m so incredibly happy to see you. You had your mom and me scared to death and in tears.”

“Hi, Mark. I’m happy that you’re here, and I’m happy that you’ve been here all along. I… I’ve been such a fool and a horrible disappointment for a boyfriend.” I see tears in his eyes. “I was sure that I’d lost you.”

“We have plenty of time to talk about that, Mickey. Right now let’s just celebrate that you’re alive and conscious and that we get to see each other again.”

I gaze into his lackluster cerulean eyes, something that I’ve never seen before, dabbing at the tears forming in my own eyes. “I love you, Mickey Hodges,” I reveal. “Please don’t ever do any of this to me again.”

I watch as his tears trickle down his cheeks and onto the pillow beneath his head. “I love you too, Mark, even though I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t shown it.”

“Oh, Mickey…” I walk up to him, press a kiss to his cheek and gently hug him, careful not to disturb the sensors and tubes attached to his body.

“I had a dream, Mark. I dreamt that you were standing by my bed, holding my hand, telling me that you missed me and all the wonderful things that we shared together. In the dream you said that you loved me, just like you did now. You said that you and my mom are the two people in this world who care most about me.”

“It wasn’t a dream, Mickey. I also said that I wanted to apologize for callously abandoning you when you needed me most. I’m so sorry, Mickey. I should have allowed you to explain your need to be with Sean over me, and I didn’t. Instead, I chose to be angry with you. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, Mark. Sean was a huge mistake, a mistake that I deeply regret, a mistake that you warned me about but I chose to ignore, a mistake that could end up costing me my life…” I couldn’t understand the last part at first, and then it occurred to me that his mother hadn’t told him about the results of his blood work.

“I have good news for you, Mickey. You don’t have HIV.”

“I don’t?”

I nod. “They took a sample of your blood and tested it. You’re HIV-free, Mickey.”

He heavily sighs. “Thank God.”

“Yeah, thank God. It means that you’ll be around for a long time to come, which is a good thing for me since I love you.”

“I’ll never tire of hearing you say that, Mark.”

“Excuse me. Time’s up,” a nurse interrupts. “Our handsome young man here needs his rest.”

“Well, listen to that, Mickey,” I smile. “You’ve only been here a couple of days and already the women are falling for you.”

His eyes move from the nurse to me. “No, I have a boyfriend, a very wonderful boyfriend that I won’t give up for anything.”

The nurse looks at him and smiles. “And a very handsome boyfriend I would add.”

“I love you, Mickey. I’ll be back soon,” I say before I turn to follow the nurse to the ICU lounge.

“I love you too, Mark.”

4:00 PM TUESDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 21

“How’s Mickey?” Jimmy asks as I fasten my apron before beginning work. I had called him Monday morning to ask if he would cover for me Monday evening, explaining that I had been up all night at the hospital because Mickey’s in ICU. I debated giving him the reason, but Jimmy’s a friend, so I decided to be up front and told him that Mickey had overdosed. As expected, Jimmy didn’t push for information; he just took it in stride and consoled me.

“He regained consciousness this afternoon.” I smile as I say it. “And I was able to spend a few minutes talking to him. I don’t think he’ll have any long-term complications, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed anyway.”

“I’m pulling for him, Mark. I’ve grown to really like the guy and would really miss him if he didn’t make it.”

“Thanks, Jimmy, and thanks for covering for me last night. I was dead tired after pulling an all-nighter at the hospital and wouldn’t have been worth a damn here at work.”

“Anytime, Mark. I was happy to do it for you, bro. Tell Mickey that I look forward to seeing him again.”

“I’ll do that, Jimmy.”

WEDNESDAY MORNING, DAY 22

It sure is lonely sitting here at Starbucks without Mickey. I miss him so much now that I know he’s going to get better and we have a chance at a relationship again. I’m enjoying his usual Caffè Americano and cinnamon scone, anticipating the moment that I can hold him in my arms again, my mouth pressed to his in a kiss of passion and desire. And because there’s no longer the worry that Sean had given him HIV, we can go back to enjoying intimate nights together as well in my bed. I can’t wait to feel myself buried deep inside his beautiful, sensuous body again, enjoying all the intimate, sweet pleasures that it can offer me as I reclaim what Sean had taken from me. Sean… I’m ashamed to admit it, but something about Sean having been in there kind of turns me on when I should feel nothing but repugnance. Feeling myself beginning to harden, I pull my thoughts from Mickey, only to notice Sean Carmody standing at the counter, reading the menu board. Speak of the devil! Scanning his tall, lithe figure, my eyes settle on the sensuous curves of his butt. I guess I can see how he could attract Mickey. In fact, if it weren’t for Mickey, I can easily see myself in bed with Sean, my cock buried balls deep into that butt. Of course, that thought is doing nothing to cure my current problem. At that moment he turns his head to scan the place and sees me. He throws me a ghost of a smile, then turns back to the counter to order.

The next thing I know Sean is standing over me saying, “It’s Mark, right?”

I simply nod.

“Any word about Mickey?”

“Still in ICU, but he regained consciousness.”

“Good. I’m really happy to hear that. May I sit with you?”

My first impulse is to say no, but since I want to know more about what went on between him and Mickey, I coolly reply with, “Suit yourself.”

He sits down across from me and I look at him a moment, then look around to assure that no one can hear us before saying, “You fucked him.”

He shrugs. “I just gave him what he wanted.”

“Despite that he had a boyfriend.”

“He gave me the impression that he was available, so I figured that you guys broke up.”

“You didn’t wear a condom when you did it.”

“Hey, I usually do and I would have, but he told me that he didn’t want me to wear one, so I didn’t. I even asked him if he wanted me to pull out before I came, and he said that he wanted me to do it inside him. So I did since I don’t get many opportunities to actually breed a guy when I’m fucking him.”

“So how many times did you fuck him, Sean?”

“Let’s see… twice the first night and then again the next morning when we woke up. Mickey left my place a very happy camper that morning,” he smugly replies. “The next time was the following Monday. I took him home after work and we fucked once that night, and then twice the next morning.” He actually sounds proud of bedding Mickey, like Mickey’s just another of the many notches on his bedpost.

“So a total of six times, all without a condom?”

“Yeah, that would be six times. Mickey took a lot of my cum in his ass. Why?”

I’m so angry because of his smugness that I want to remove it from his face with my fist, but I don’t. Instead, I say, “Because that’s more times than I’ve had with Mickey, and I was his boyfriend.”

He shrugs again. “What can I say? I make a guy feel really good when I’m inside him. And Mickey definitely loved all six times that I gave it to him. You should try me, Mark. I could teach you something about what Mickey likes.”

It takes everything I have to keep from springing up, wrenching him out of that chair and cold-cocking him. Instead, I say, “Then you dropped him.”

“Hey, what is this? Twenty questions? But if you must know, the morning of the second time we were together I got the impression that Mickey had the wrong idea about us, so I told him that I’m only looking for a good time, not a relationship. After that, he turned cold on me.”

“Mickey’s naïve, he takes people at face value. But you already knew that, which made him so easy to seduce. He took it to mean that you were interested in him, so he allowed you to have your way with him—six fucking times.”

His attitude suddenly takes a sharp turn, from cocky to concern. “Wait… Is… Is that why he’s in the hospital? Did he, like… Fuck… I never meant to hurt him. I really didn’t.”

“I don’t think that Mickey meant to hurt me either, but he did. I just can’t understand why he would choose you, an obvious player, over me who actually loved him. But now that I nearly lost him because of it, I’ll fight to the end to hold onto him, Sean. So have your fucking fun with someone else and leave Mickey the hell alone.”

“I hear you, Mark. And if it means anything, I really do like the guy. He kind of grows on a person. And those incredible blue eyes…”

“You can like him, Sean, but don’t you ever seduce him again, or you’ll have me to deal with, and you won’t be the pretty boy anymore after I’m done with you. I’ll make sure of it.”

And with that said, I got up and left.

Of course, I won’t do it because of the legal ramifications, but he doesn’t know that.

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 22

My cell rings right after class lets out. I look to see that it’s Mickey’s mother. “Hello, Mark. It’s Marilyn. Are you going to the hospital this afternoon?”

“Hi, Marilyn. My class just ended, so I’m heading there now. Is Mickey okay?” I feel a sudden surge of panic, which I’m sure she can hear in my voice.

“Yes, Mark. Mickey’s fine, so don’t worry. I’m calling to tell you that he’s been moved from ICU to a private room.” She gives me his room number, then says that she has to leave for a meeting at work.

When I arrive, Mickey is dozing. I move to stand beside his bed and gently grip his hand, which causes him to stir. “Hi,” he croaks, opening his eyes and smiling. “I was really hoping you would come today. Mom left a little while ago.”

“Yeah, I know. She called to tell me that they moved you and that she had a meeting at work. It’s just as well because it’ll give us an opportunity to be alone and talk—as much privacy as a hospital will afford us anyway.”

“Yeah.” He bites his lower lip. Then tears well in his eyes and spill onto the pillow beneath his head. “I’m so sorry, Mark.” He chokes out a sob. “And just so you know, it wasn’t anything you did, because you’ve been nothing but wonderful and loving. It was all me.”

I gently squeeze his hand. “Look, don’t beat yourself up, Mickey. Sean is an attractive guy who oozes charisma. I understand now that he had you under his spell. While I’m sorry that it happened, it taught you a lesson about guys like him. The important thing is you don’t have HIV because of him.”

“Yeah… But he just swept me off my feet, Mark. In spite of how incredible you are, he swept me off my feet. In spite of you warning me about him, he still swept me off my feet. I was so fucking stupid.”

“No, you’re not, Mickey. You’re impressionable. I saw him at Starbucks this morning and we talked. I can understand what you saw in him. You saw the Sean that he wanted you to see, that he wanted you to succumb to. He could have done the same thing to me if I let him. I told him that I see through him, that I know his game and that I’ll fight to the end for you. If it means anything, though, he is concerned about you and thinks that it’s his fault that you’re here, which it is, as well as mine. He said that he likes you and didn’t mean to hurt you. But he’ll do it again, Mickey, if you let him.”

“I won’t let him, Mark. You’re the only person I care about and I’ll never hurt you like that again.”

“I believe you, Mickey.”

“And it’s more my fault than anyone’s because I let it happen.”

I don’t want to respond to that so I change the subject. “So it’s wonderful that they moved you out of ICU. It means you’re that much closer to going home and we’re that much closer to starting over. By the way, I talked to Ms. Colson, your Industrial Design teacher, and she’s going to allow you to turn in your projects late until you’ve recuperated. You should give her a call when you’re able, Mickey. She took the news about what happened to you pretty hard.”

“Thank you, Mark. I will.”

“So, was Sean better than me? He seems to think that he’s pretty remarkable in bed. Even offered to teach me what really turns you on, which means that he’d be demonstrating it on me. Is he bigger than me?”

“I’d rather not talk about it, Mark.”

“But how are we going to get beyond this if we don’t talk about it, Mickey? Unless you want me to take Sean up on his offer…”

“He’s bigger, Mark. Have you ever seen a stallion with a erection? Well, that’s Sean. And his balls are huge too. I guess that’s what gives him his confidence.”

“That big… And you were able to take it all?”

“The first time was uncomfortable, but…”

“But what, Mickey? Talk to me about it.”

He sighs. “But once he had it all the way up inside me and began fucking me, it got a lot better.”

“Probably because he could get it up into places that I can’t reach, if he’s that big. He probably cums a river too.”

“Enough that I could definitely feel it when he let go inside me.”

“Well, I’ll try to improve my performance with what I have, Mickey. You’ll just have to tell me what you like when I’m doing something right because I definitely want to make you feel as good in bed as Sean did.”

“Believe me, you don’t have a problem doing that, Mark. You’re plenty big enough for me. Sean was almost… well, too big.”

“But there’s something missing if you had to go to him to get what I’m supposed to give you.”

“Well… he fucked me really slowly the whole time he was inside me, getting deep enough that he almost felt like he was a part of me. He didn’t pound into me at all, just took his time until he finally came. Said that it’s all about making me really feel it, which I did. And he’s really good with his tongue too. I felt like I was on fire the whole time he was rimming me.

I must be showing my displeasure because the next thing he says is, “I’m just telling you, Mark, because you asked me.”

“I know, Mickey. It sounds like I should be taking Sean up on his offer if he’s that good.” I say it with a grin. “I’m surprised that he doesn’t have guys lined up at his bed.”

“That’s just it, Mark. He’s a player, like you said. He never wanted a relationship.”

“So he told me, Mickey. Well, we’ll work on my skills when you’re ready for me.”

“I already am, Mark. Believe me, I am.”

“So you’re horny?” I grin.

“As ever.”

“Good. That means you’ll be even hornier by the time I have you in bed.”

The whole time that we’re talking I’m on my guard for hospital personnel entering the room, but Mickey needs to get it out and I need to hear him.