Under My Skin - 10. Part I, chapter 10

- X -

I knew that I had to tell Christy about my insane feeling for Alex because I figured Amber would tell her sooner or later. There is no greater fury than a woman scorned, right? So after I talked to Sam that morning, I called Christy, trying to figure out what to say and how to say it.

“We need to talk,” was all I could come up with after her cheerful ‘Hello!’

“Wanna come over?” she asked. “I really don’t want to drive anywhere... I am still bloated after all the food I had last night...”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I’ll come over.”

“You okay?” she asked with concern. “You sound weird.”

“No, I am not okay,” I sighed. “I’ll see you in half an hour or so.”

“See you...” she muttered and I hung up the phone.

I drove, feeling like I was in a haze. I was really thankful for the fact that it was Black Friday, and almost everybody who was awake was at the mall or some other store. The traffic in this part of town was almost nonexistent, and there was no danger of me slamming into anyone. Finally, I pulled next to Christy’s house and turned the car off. I sat inside for almost ten minutes, and finally, I managed to kick myself out. I rang the bell and Christy yelled, “Come in!!” from the inside.

I walked in and kicked off my shoes.

“What’s up?” Christy said, and I almost laughed when I saw her digging into another box of ice-cream with her ridiculously huge spoon.

“I thought you were still bloated,” I said and she grinned.

“Ice-cream doesn’t count. Want some?”

“No,” I shook my head and sat next to her on the couch.

She looked at me and frowned.

“What happened?” she asked and put the ice-cream box on the table.

I looked at her, and suddenly, couldn’t speak. I couldn’t just go ahead and say, “Chris, I am in love with Alex,” even though that was what I planned on doing.

“Jake, talk to me,” Christy moved closer and slapped me on the shoulder.

“Amber broke up with me,” I said finally and she gasped.

“Why?!”

“I kinda...” I looked away. “I might’ve called her by a different name when I was about to...”

“Jesus,” she closed her eyes.

“Yeah,” I said miserably. “It gets even better.”

“Oh do tell...” she muttered.

“I called her by a guy’s name,” I said, and Christy’s eyes immediately flew wide open.

“Oh my God...” she said weakly. “The guy that you have a crush on?”

“Uh huh,” I nodded. “I didn’t even realize that until she started yelling at me...”

“God, Jake...” she buried her face in her palms. “She didn’t take that well, did she?”

“No,” I sighed. “Would you?”

“Probably not,” she agreed and lowered her hands. “What was the name?”

Oh Lord... Here we go. I took a very deep breath and looked at her.

“Alex,” I said finally and she just stared at me.

“Alex?” she muttered. “Which Alex...?” and then she stopped talking and looked at me with horror.

I nodded.

“Yeah... The Alex... Landon,” I finished in a small voice and looked away from her.

She will probably tell me to get the hell out of her house and her life, and she will be completely right to do so. I stared at my hands, my heart hurting like I was having a heart attack, except I knew it wasn’t that.

“Jake,” she said finally, and I couldn’t make myself to look into her eyes. “Jake, look at me... Summers!!” she barked and I looked at her, startled.

Christy took a deep breath.

“Jake,” she said. “Landon is straight, you know that, right?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “Chris... If you want me to get out...”

“Jake...” she sighed. “How long have you been... Crushing on him?”

I looked away again.

“He was your revelation, wasn’t he?” she asked in a small voice, and I just nodded. “Oh my God... So when we went out for the first time, you were...”

I nodded again, and when she was silent, I finally looked at her. I couldn’t believe it when I saw tears in her eyes.

“Jake,” she whispered. “I am sorry...”

I stared at her. Are you kidding me?! She is sorry? I am the one who just told her that I was desperately in love with her boyfriend, and she says that she is sorry?!

“Jake if I only knew, I would never...” and then the waterworks came.

“Oh God...” I muttered and hugged her, feeling awkwardly relieved and sad. “Stop it, Chris...”

“Jake,” she wailed. “I love you...”

“I love you too,” I mumbled. “Stop crying, will you? This is killing me, by the way!”

She pulled away from me and sniffled.

“I am sorry,” she said miserably, and I just rolled my eyes.

“For what? For loving him...? Knock it off!” I growled when she almost started crying again. “Knock it off, Bailey! This is like a bad chick flick...”

That got her smile.

“What are you going to do about Amber?” she asked and I shuddered.

“I have no idea,” I admitted. “She was pretty pissed when she left. She wouldn’t even talk to me, not that I blame her...”

Suddenly, Christy started to laugh and I narrowed my eyes.

“Find it funny, do you?” I asked evenly and she nodded.

“Hell, yeah...!” she took a breath. “Think about it... Two best friends, one of them is gay, both are in love with the same guy... And then the gay one gets himself a girlfriend and then he calls her by that guy’s name right before he comes on top of her...” she looked at me. “You were on top of her, right?”

I closed my eyes.

“Yes,” I said finally, and she howled with laughter. “Well, I am glad you find it so amusing...” I continued in the same even voice, and then I couldn’t help myself and started laughing hysterically.

I laughed until I almost cried, and finally, I was able to calm down.

“Seriously,” I breathed. “What do I do, Chris? I have never been so lost in my freaking life!”

“Call her,” she said simply, and I blinked.

“Right,” I muttered. “I am aware of the fact that they invented phones...” I sighed. “...but she wouldn’t even answer it, since they also invented caller ID...”

Christy rolled her eyes and got off the couch. She handed me the phone and I dialed Amber’s number.

“Hey, Christy,” she said in a tired voice after a few long ‘beeps.’

“Amber, it’s me...” I started to say, and she immediately hung up.

I looked at Christy helplessly.

“She hung up.”

Christy sighed.

“Well,” she shrugged. “Call her again.”

I did just that, but she never answered. Finally, after the fiftieth or so try, I gave up and handed the phone back to Christy.

“Useless,” I said and she bit her lower lip.

“I guess, just give her some time,” she said uncertainly. “Wait until Monday. I bet she’ll cool off by then.”

****

Amber didn’t come to school on Monday, and the entire day I felt like I was sitting on extremely hot coals. When the day was finally over, I threw my backpack on my shoulder and walked up to Christy who was holding Alex’s hand. She let go of his hand the second she saw me, and I almost growled at her.

“I am going to Amber’s,” I said tightly and she nodded.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” she said quickly and looked at Alex. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled and lightly kissed her on the lips.

We were walking towards my car and I muttered, “Bailey, do two things for me, will you?”

“Sure,” she said uncomfortably.

We were almost by my car so I stopped and looked at her.

“Okay, thing number one. Stop acting so damn guilty every time I am around you and Landon, will you?”

She blinked.

“Don’t drop his hand just because I come closer, okay?”

“Okay,” she muttered. “What’s thing number two?”

“Thing number two...” I sighed. “Please don’t tell him about the way I feel...”

She looked at me like I just asked her to iron my shoelaces.

“I would never do that,” she said with reproach.

I grinned.

“Thanks. Well, I am going to go, and if I don’t call you tonight, that’ll mean Amber killed me.”

Christy winced.

“Want me to come with you?”

“No,” I sighed. “That would be even worse, considering the whole thing...”

“Yeah,” Christy said softly. “Well, good luck then!”

“Uh huh,” I unlocked my car and threw my backpack inside. “Talk to you later, Chris...”

“Bye...”

****

I parked the car, slowly climbed out, and walked towards Amber’s door, trying to figure out what to say when I saw her. I didn’t have a slightest clue, and finally, I just rang the doorbell. Nobody answered and I glanced around. Amber’s car was sitting on the driveway. That meant she was home. I pushed the doorbell button once more and frowned when I got the same result. Then I rang it for the third time, and finally, tried the doorknob. It turned smoothly to the left and the door creaked open. Suddenly, I felt uneasy.

“Amber!” I shouted and gritted my teeth when nobody replied.

Great... She is probably performing a voodoo ritual in the bathroom. I walked inside the house and shut the door.

“Amber!”

No answer. I could almost see her sitting on the bathroom floor, sticking needles into a little doll that had my picture on its face. I shuddered, almost expecting a shooting blast of pain somewhere in my body. Of course, nothing happened, and I muttered, “Idiot” under my breath.

“Amber! Please, I need to talk to you...!”

I slowly opened the bathroom door and winced when there was nobody there. I was positive that she was in the bathroom.

“Amber!!” I yelled louder.

I looked in the kitchen and it was empty. Finally, I walked upstairs and knocked on the door of her bedroom.

“Amber, come on! Please, I just need to talk to you...!”

I sighed when nobody answered.

“Okay, I am coming in then...”

I opened the door and frowned when I saw that her bedroom was empty.

“What the hell...” I muttered and went inside. “Amber...? You here?”

I even looked under her bed, but all I found was a couple of dust bunnies. I sat on the bed and started to think. Her car was here, the front door was unlocked... This was worse than Bermuda Triangle. Then I saw a strip of light emerging from underneath the door of her closet, and I groaned. Are you kidding me? She was sitting in the freaking closet all this time just to be spiteful? Oh, man... I sighed and got up.

“Amber, come on,” I said loudly and walked towards her closet. “I know you are in there... Just come out, okay? I know I am an ass, but can I just talk to you? Please?”

I stood by the closet door and my only answer was silence.

“Okay,” I said patiently. “I am coming in now... Please don’t hit me on the head with anything too heavy, okay...?”

Silence. I knew that something would hit me hard the minute I walked into that closet, but I never realized just how hard it would hit me until I opened the door and saw her. At first, I couldn’t understand what the hell I was seeing.

“Amber...” I muttered, and then I started to shake.

She was hanging off a thick black belt that was attached to something on the ceiling that looked like an old iron hook. For some strange reason, that belt almost mesmerized me. I can still see cracked leather, a dully-shining metal buckle, and all those buttonholes. Two of them were so worn out that they looked huge. Amber’s body was really still as if she was frozen in mid-air. The tips of her black shoes touched the carpet ever so slightly. I couldn’t see her face because her hair covered it completely. I felt like I was having a nightmare. “Wake up,” I thought numbly. “Jesus, Jake... Just wake up!” I took a step towards her, and it felt like I was moving through very thick syrup. I touched her arm, and it was so cold that it almost burned me.

I slowly backed out of the closet, went downstairs, found the phone, and thought that it was weird that people would still use a landline. Then I punched in three digits and put the phone against my ear.

“911 operator,” I heard almost immediately. “What’s your emergency?”

“Yes, it’s an emergency,” I said slowly without feeling my lips move.

“What is the emergency, sir?” she repeated patiently.

“It’s an emergency,” I said again, forgetting the rest of the words all of a sudden.

“What’s the address?” she asked me as patiently, and for a second, I couldn’t remember, but then it popped up in my mind and I slowly said it to her.

“All right,” she said in a minute. “I am sending a unit now, please stay calm...”

She was saying something else, but I pushed some button and the line clicked dead. I stared at the crack in the floor. It seemed like it was growing bigger every second. I blinked, looked at the phone that I was still clutching in my hand, slowly punched in Christy’s number, and waited for her to answer.

“Chris,” I said when she did.

“What is it?” she asked. “Are you alive?” and she laughed.

“Chris,” I said again, feeling like the crack in the floor was about to swallow me whole.

“What is it, Jake?” now her voice sounded alarmed. “You okay...? Jake! Talk to me! What...”

“Chris,” I said again, and then I heard the sirens. “I gotta go,” I muttered. “The unit is here...”

I pushed the End button and very carefully replaced the receiver in the cradle. I was still staring at the crack in the floor when some policemen and paramedics walked through the front door.

“Sir?” one of the cops called and I looked at him. “What’s your emergency?”

I blinked.

“It’s an emergency...” I muttered, and then I was shaking again.

“What is it?” the cop frowned and threw a quick look across the living room.

“Upstairs...” I whispered. “She is in the closet, and she is really cold...”

Two paramedics and one cop immediately went upstairs, and in less than a minute, I heard one of them cursing loudly and very bitterly. I couldn’t take my eyes off that damn crack in the floor. I felt that if I just kept staring at that, this whole thing would simply disappear and I would wake up in my bed, probably covered in cold sweat. Maybe I did get drunk after Amber left, and now I was simply lying on the kitchen floor in the puddle of my own vomit. Lying there, passed out, having this insanely vivid nightmare. That what it was, I realized, and was so relieved that I almost cried. I just wished I could finally wake up. I pinched my arm and it didn’t hurt. Probably because I did it in my sleep... “Or maybe it’s because you are so numb that sticking a needle underneath your fingernail won’t hurt much either,” a voice in my head whispered. No, no, no... This is a nightmare I am having. I just need to wake up before...

“Jake! Oh my God, what happened?!”

I slowly turned my head. It was Christy.

“Jake!!” she almost screamed. “What the hell happened here? Where is Amber?”

“Chris,” I said in a very calm voice.

“What?” she breathed, her eyes huge by now.

“Pinch me, please...”

“Pinch you?” she frowned. “Why?”

“Because I need to wake up... Pinch me, Chris.”

“Wake up...? What...?”

“Just pinch me, okay?”

“Oh, Jesus Christ! Fine, fine... Here...” she pinched my arm really hard and I blinked several times when I actually felt that.

I looked around and nothing changed. Every single damn thing stayed the same.

“Pinch me harder, Chris...”

“Jake, you scaring me! What happened here?”

She was saying something else when paramedics brought a black body bag downstairs. She immediately stopped talking and stared at it without blinking.

“We need to ask you a couple of questions,” one of the cops said to me quietly and I blinked.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Sure...”