Under My Skin - 3. Part I, chapter 3

- III -

When I walked into my house, my father was all but foaming at the mouth.

“What time were you supposed to come back?” he asked in a low voice.

“Nine,” I said.

“And what time is it now?” he asked in the same low voice, and I glanced at the clock.

“Nine-fifteen.”

“Would you like to share with me why you are so late?”

I blinked. You gotta be kidding me! He’s going nuts because of fifteen minutes?! Then again, I should’ve seen this coming.

“We had to finish the chapter,” I shrugged. “For that quiz I told you about.”

“Jake,” he said very evenly. “I can smell lies coming off of you. You are going up to your room and you will pray for forgiveness until ten, do you understand?”

I almost told him to go to hell.

“Yes, sir,” I said instead.

“Go,” he hissed.

I was walking by him when he stopped me.

“Look at me,” he demanded and I looked at him, startled.

Suddenly, he swung his arm and whacked me on the face so hard that I saw stars for several seconds. I swayed on my feet and shook my head.

“I can see sin in your eyes,” he said.

I could taste my blood in my mouth, and suddenly, I became very calm. “This is the last time you ever hit me,” I thought. “You will never hit me again, and I don’t care if I will go to hell.” I stared at him silently, and finally, he turned away from me.

“Go,” he said quietly and I walked away.

I walked into my room and almost slammed my door, catching it at the last second. I turned on the lights and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Great! I am going to have a hell of a bruise tomorrow. I carefully touched my swollen cheekbone and winced. My lip was busted too.

“Son of a bitch,” I muttered, and to my surprise, saying that made me feel a little better.

I looked at my reflection again and sighed. I never cared much for the way I looked. I was somewhat tall, about six feet. Thankfully, I’ve never had weight problems. Probably because my mother would watch me like a hawk every time I ate something, and if (God forbid!) I ate a little too much, she would uncork on me with frightening energy and badly-hidden hatred.

My eyes were just like my father’s – very light-brown. My hair color came from my mother though – almost blond. I always liked to have it on somewhat longish side, but the last time I tried it, my father almost shaved my head. Suddenly, Christy’s words sounded loud and clear in my head. “You thinking of moving out?” I told her yes, but I didn’t mean that. Right now, however, the thought was so tempting that I almost started laughing manically. I wanted to move out, I realized. I couldn’t stand being around here anymore. And since I went to school when I was eight – my parents had really hard time letting me go into the social environment by myself – I turned eighteen two months ago.

“There is not a single damn thing you can do about it,” I muttered, thinking of my father. “I can do whatever the hell I want.”

Swearing made me feel almost dizzy. I never used this sort of language before. I wouldn’t even think these words, and if I did, I felt guilty for days. Right now, however, they sounded so good that I felt like I just had something really tasty in my mouth. I decided to start looking for an apartment tomorrow. Then I cringed, realizing that I had no money whatsoever. Crap, I’d have to find a job first... I sighed and pulled off my T-shirt. I am going to go job-hunting tomorrow, I decided. And I couldn’t care less if my parents dropped dead the minute I told them about it.

I went to bed and almost laughed when I remembered my father’s order to pray until ten.

“Screw you,” I said softly and turned off the lights.

That night I dreamt of Alex, and in the morning, I realized that I had another wet dream. I got pretty good at hiding the evidence by now, so I quickly pulled my sheets off the bed and threw them into my closet, thinking that I would wash them later when I was alone in the house. I took a quick shower, got dressed, and when I came downstairs, my parents were waiting for me in the kitchen.

“You overslept,” my mother said sternly, and I just shrugged.

“Jake,” she shook her head. “I don’t know what’s happening to you, but it scares me. It seems like you are...”

“...giving into temptation,” I finished silently.

“...giving into temptation,” she said, and I almost grinned. “You are weak, Jake! And you will end up...”

“...in the grasp of evil,” I thought and grabbed a slice of toast.

“...in the grasp of evil,” she finished.

“I am fine,” I said and bit into my toast.

My father stood up so quickly that the entire table shook.

“You are eating without saying grace?!” He looked like I just sprouted some horns and hooves.

“Don’t wanna be late for school,” I said and walked towards the door. “I gotta go.”

“Get back here right now!!” my father barked, and I simply ignored him and walked outside.

“Hurry up, Summers!” Christy yelled the minute I closed my front door.

I walked up to her, and when I got closer, she frowned.

“Jesus,” she muttered. “What happened to your face?”

“My dad smacked me,” I shrugged. “I was fifteen minutes late.”

“Oh, Jake...” she winced. “I’m sorry, it was my fault...”

“Nah,” I said carelessly. “He would’ve done it anyway. Apparently, he can see a shitload of sin in my eyes.”

Christy started to cough.

“Good God, Jake,” she said finally. “I don’t know if I could ever get used to those words coming out of your mouth...”

“It’s going to get worse,” I warned her. “So you’d better get used to that!”

Christy laughed.

“Whatever,” she said lightly. “Oh, hey! You know Amber Leigh, right?”

“Sort of,” I shrugged. “The redhead...?”

“Yeah, her,” Christy nodded. “Guess what!”

“She is pregnant,” I said, and Christy looked at me with reproach.

“No,” she said patiently. “She is not pregnant, Summers.”

“Then what?” I adjusted my backpack.

“Jake,” Christy said with such glee in her voice that I frowned.

“What?” I asked suspiciously.

“She has a huuuge crush on you!” Christy squealed with delight, and I almost froze.

What...?

“Yeah,” she nodded energetically. “She called me last night at, like, ten, and she was asking if we were a couple or something, since we always hang out together, you know?”

“Uh huh...” I was able to say.

“So I told her that we are, like, best friends and that’s it,” Christy kept jabbering. “And then she was like, ‘Oh my God! He is so cute! I totally have a crush on him!’...” She took a quick gulp of air and continued. “And then she asked me if I could ask you if you could ask her out,” she finished and looked at me, her eyes beaming, as if she just did something truly great.

“Oh dear God...” I muttered.

“Amber is really great, you know,” Christy said with a slight frown. “And she is pretty!”

“Yeah,” I breathed. “She is also a social retard...”

“Jake!” she exclaimed. “That's mean...! And she is not!”

“She is too,” I grumbled. “You remember the time when she told Mrs. Pauli that her wig looked weird?”

“Well...” Christy said uncomfortably.

“Or when she told what’s-her-name that she thought her mom was stupid?”

“Melissa,” Christy muttered, and I nodded.

“Yeah, Melissa.”

“Well, she can get pretty weird sometimes,” Christy admitted unwillingly. “I mean, she doesn’t really have friends...”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” I muttered.

“Jake!” Christy sighed. “Can you just give her a chance?”

“What is it to you?” I asked with puzzlement, and she shrugged.

“I kinda like her,” she said. “And I promised her that you’d ask her out,” she finished in a small voice.

“Dammit, Bailey!” I growled. “She said she’d do your math homework for a month, didn’t she?”

“Three weeks,” Christy sniffled guiltily, and I shook my head.

“Traitor,” I said gloomily.

“Jake, please...” Christy sniffled again, and I sighed in defeat.

“Fine, fine, I’ll ask her out... Jesus...”

“Thank you!” she brightened immediately. “Jake, I totally owe you one!”

“Actually,” I said thoughtfully. “You might come in handy... I need a job.”

“Oh yeah? What kind?”

“The kind that pays,” I hemmed. “I need to move out of that house as soon as I possibly can before I turn into Lizzie Borden...”

“I’ll ask Matt today,” Christy nodded. “He has friends everywhere, and he is surprisingly tolerable for an older brother.”

“Sweet,” I said with relief.

If she finds me a job, then going out with that crazy Amber girl will be totally worth it. Hey, who knows, maybe I’ll fall in love with her, and this whole Alex thing will just get out of my stupid head!

****

When I came home that day, I was surprised to see my father’s truck parked in the driveway. He had never missed a single day of work in his life. I mean, the man went to work when he was running a fever of 101. Missing a day of work was as unspeakable to him as eating without saying grace first. I winced. Could that be why he stayed home? So he could smack me around for not saying grace this morning? I gritted my teeth. “He will never hit me again,” I thought, and slowly went inside.

To my great surprise, there was nobody in the kitchen or the living room. I carefully looked around, registering a muffled voice of some preacher from the TV. That meant my mother was watching television in her bedroom. But where the hell was my father? I glanced around once again, and then slowly walked upstairs.

I walked into my room and blinked. There he was, sitting on my bed, looking like an avatar of righteous anger. My heart sank when I saw him holding my sheets that I threw in the closet this morning.

“What’s this?” he asked very quietly and shook the sheets.

Ah, to hell with it.

“Sheets,” I said calmly.

His face slowly started turning dark-red.

“Why were they in your closet?”

“ ‘Cause I threw them in there.”

“Jake...” he slowly got up. “I don’t know where you picked up this idiotic habit of smart-mouthing me...”

“I am not smart-mouthing you...”

“Do not interrupt me!” he barked. “You were doing that nasty thing again last night, weren’t you?!”

Ah yes, here we go.

“Don’t bother to answer!” he shook the sheets again. “I can see it!”

“I had a wet dream,” I shrugged and threw my backpack on the floor. “It’s not like I can control it, you know... I was asleep.”

“The Devil tempted you, and you succumbed!” His face was almost crimson by now. “Jake, you need to fall on your knees and beg...”

“No,” I said, and was amazed with myself.

My father looked like I just spat in his face.

“What... Did... You... Say...?” he finally managed, and threw the sheets aside. “What did you just say?!”

Suddenly, he moved so fast that I didn’t have any time to react. He lunged at me and hit my face so hard that I thought that my nose would break for sure this time. It didn’t. And then something exploded in me. I staggered on my feet and looked at him, my eyes almost burning from hate and anger.

“Don’t you hit me again,” I hissed.

He growled and lunged at me once more, but this time, I saw it coming. I pushed him away and he almost fell, caught by surprise.

“How dare you?!” he screamed and moved towards me, his arm raised.

I didn’t care that he was my father; I didn’t care that I would end up in hell for sure, and I didn’t even care if he killed me. I hit him in the face hard, and this time, he did fall down. I stood there, clenching my fists, breathing incredibly fast, my entire body shaking. He looked up with such astonishment in his eyes that it was almost funny. Except, I didn’t feel like laughing.

“You will never hit me again,” I said in a shaky voice. “You hear me? You will never hit me again, you son of a bitch!!”

He slowly got up, and for a second, I thought that he would lunge at me again. He didn’t. He just stared at me like he was seeing me for the first time in his life.

“Get out,” he finally said. “Get out of my house and never come back, you ungrateful bastard! You will burn in hell for this... You will burn in hell for this and for your filthy, rotten mind!”

“Fuck you,” I said, and he looked like he was having a heart attack.

“Get out!!” he screamed.

I picked up my backpack and walked out of that room.

“Jake!” my mother was standing by the stairs, looking up with worry. “What’s going on?”

“I am leaving,” I said. “Goodbye.”

“What?!” she shrieked. “What do you mean...”

“Get out!!” My father stormed out of the room, bellowing like a pissed off elephant. “Get out of my house, you rotten bastard!!”

“William!” my mother turned white. “William, no!!”

“Do not speak, woman!!” he barked, and I quickly walked out of the front door and slammed it as hard as I possibly could.

I sat on the curb for half an hour or so, and when I finally stopped shaking, I got up, walked towards Christy’s house, and rang the doorbell. She opened the door, and her eyes immediately became almost perfectly round.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

I threw my backpack over my shoulder.

“Can I stay at your house until I find a job and a place to live?” I asked quietly, and she silently stepped aside to let me in.

****

“Oh my God, Jake...” Christy breathed when I told her the entire story. “I always thought your dad was a little...” she moved her finger in a circle, pointing at her own temple. “But I never thought that he would actually kick you out of the house!”

“Yeah,” I twisted my mouth in a bitter smile. “Chris, I couldn’t stand it anymore... He hit me, and last night I promised to myself that he would never touch me again... I am so tired of being his punching bag...” I shook my head, and she stroked my arm.

“I know,” she said softly.

“So I told him to go fuck himself,” I said, and she started laughing a couple of stunned seconds later.

“Oh my God,” she breathed. “Was it before or after you hit him?”

“After,” I said solemnly, and she laughed even harder.

“Oh my God...” she said again. “What about your mom?”

I shrugged.

“I don’t think she’d care much. I mean, she looked kinda worried, but I don’t think it was because of me,” I pulled a candy cane out of the box that was sitting on the table. “She never cared if he hit me. She would always say that it was the only way to get sin out of me... Hell,” I grinned. “She didn’t mind to hit me herself. Did I tell you about how she slammed me headfirst into the stove?”

“No,” Christy looked shocked.

“Yeah,” I shoved the candy cane in my mouth. “I was, like, seven.”

“Jesus,” she breathed. “Why?!”

“Oh, I ate an entire box of chocolates,” I said indifferently. “And gluttony is a sin, you know...”

“Oh, Jake...” Christy’s mouth twisted helplessly, and she looked like she was about to start crying.

“Knock it off,” I sighed. “I am alive, aren’t I? And my nose isn’t even broken.”

“Yeah,” she gave me a small smile. “Jake, you can stay here for as long as you need, okay?”

“What about your parents though?” I frowned, and she gave me the look.

“Oh, please,” she snorted. “They love you, and you know it.”

“Okay...” I said doubtfully, thinking that if it was Christy who asked me for such favor, my parents would start throwing crosses and garlic at her.

“Come on,” she said and got up. “You will have your own room!”

I stared at her and she grinned.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “My dad decided to combine his ‘library’...” she made air quotes and rolled her eyes. “...with his office.”

“He has a library?” I couldn’t believe this.

Christy snorted.

“No,” she said. “It was just a room with, like, a dozen of books in there... He thinks if it’s more than five books on the shelf, then it’s a library,” she rolled her eyes again. “So my mom told him to get off his high horse and just move all that stuff into one room. I think she wanted to make something out of that bedroom for herself...”

“Oh,” I said uncomfortably. “I shouldn’t really...”

“Oh shut up,” she grimaced. “Like she would say no to you!”

I buried my face in my hands. I felt so ashamed for feeling all that anger towards her last night, that I was ready to shoot myself.

“Chris...” I muttered. “You have no idea how much...”

“Knock it off,” she growled. “That’s what friends are for. Now come on! I’ll show you the room!”

I was worried that her parents wouldn’t react as nicely as she said they would. I sat on the chair in the room that Christy said was mine from now on, and chewed on my fingernails for almost an hour.

“Hey, Summers,” Christy opened the door. “Come on down. My mom’s home!”

“Oye...” I muttered and she laughed.

“Come on,” she repeated, and I followed her downstairs.

“Hey, Jake!” Mary looked at me with worry. “Are you okay...? Good God, look at your face...”

“I’ve been worse,” I muttered. “Mary, I hate to be an intruder...”

“Oh, Jake,” she sighed, and suddenly, she sounded just like Christy. “Don’t even think that!”

“I don’t even have any money,” I said and my ears started to burn. “But I swear, when I get a job...”

“You’d better finish that sentence with I will get a puppy,” Mary said with sudden steel in her voice, and I blinked. “Jake Summers, if you will even hint at paying me, I will seriously kick your butt!”

I felt like crying. Nobody had been that nice to me before. I mean, Christy and her family were always really friendly, and they never objected when I would hang out with Christy all the time, but this...

“Matt will find you a job,” Christy promised. “Let’s eat! I am hungry!”

“Order pizza,” Mary commanded. “I don’t feel like cooking anything tonight.”

“Cool,” Christy ran towards the phone. “Jake! What kind of pizza do you like?”

“Any kind,” I said, feeling almost lost.

Like I had many different pizzas before... The only times I would have something like that would be when I hung out with Christy.

“I am ordering Hawaiian then,” Christy nodded.

“Get some pepperoni too,” Mary said. “For Matt.”

That night Christy stayed at my new bedroom until almost two in the morning. We laughed like crazy, and I almost forgot about my father and the fact that I was kicked out of my house. Christy twirled the strand of her hair in her fingers, her pink bunny pajamas looking really funny on her. She wrinkled her nose.

“We need to go shopping for you,” she said, and I almost groaned.

“No,” I said immediately. “I can’t buy anything, and it’s bad enough that I am eating your food and intruding on your ter...”

She threw a pillow at me.

“Shut up!” she said.

I caught the pillow and laughed.

“No, really, Christy. Tomorrow I will make sure that my father isn’t home, and I’ll just go back and get my stuff, okay?”

“I’ll go with you,” she said and I shrugged.

“Sure. My mother might start saying, ‘Our Father, who art in heaven...’ the minute she sees that I brought a girl with me...”

Christy laughed hard, and suddenly, she stopped and looked at me, her face embarrassed and almost scared.

“Oh my God, Jake...”

“What?” I frowned – she looked weird.

“I just peed my pants,” she whispered, and I completely lost it.

We were howling with laughter until the door opened and Arthur, Christy’s dad, walked in.

“So,” he said. “Laughing, huh?”

“Uh huh,” we said in unison.

“So,” he said. “Having a good time, huh?”

“Uh huh...”

“Well that’s good then,” he frowned. “Get in bed, Crispy!”

“Dad,” Christy looked like she was sobbing from laughter. “Don’t call me that!”

“Get in bed, lady or I swear to God I will drive you to school tomorrow!”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Christy immediately jumped off the bed. “Night, Jake!”

Arthur grinned.

“She won’t be caught dead with her father driving her to school,” he said, and I laughed again. “Night, Jake.”

“Night, Arthur,” I said and he closed the door.