Black Sheep Part 1 - 18. Chapter 18

I look around the school grounds but Vic is nowhere to be seen. I feel sad and relieved at the same time. Maybe it would be better if he stays at home for a couple of days. I look around for Marc and see him hanging around the doors of the school, his eyes fixed on me. He nods his head, signaling to follow him inside.

“How is he doing? You talked to him today?” Marc walks to the room for our first class.

I shake my head. “No, he hopefully is still asleep. He was doing so bad last night. Something was really wrong.”

“Yeah, you said that last night. But nothing new?”

I shake my head again. “Nothing, which I hope is a good thing. Damn I wish I could just talk to Adam or something. He would know what to do or to say right now. Vic was so scared, it was horrible.”

We both take place in our seats and during the day I can almost feel Marcs eyes on me.

After school I go straight to Vics house. I ring the bell and Anne opens the door. Her eyes are bloodshot and even before I ask anything she shakes her head.

“He just went to sleep a couple of minutes ago. I think it's better if you come back tomorrow.” She sounds tired, her voice dull and raspy.

“I just want to know how he is doing.”

“He is calm. He's been on the verge of sleep all night and through most of the day. I'll let him call you if he wakes later in the evening okay? But don't count on it, he was really exhausted. And so am I.”

“I'm sorry. I'll come back tomorrow. Thanks.” I turn around, hearing the door close behind me with a tired bang, and walk to my bike. I look back at the house, up to his window and feel so selfish. It is good that he is finally asleep. Although I wish he wasn't, so I could hold him and keep him safe. I drive away, cursing myself for my selfishness and stupidity. How can I keep him safe from himself or from people I don't even know?

The next day Vic is still not at school. Not that I expected him to be, but a small part of me hoped he would be. That all this mess was just a bad dream. I walk through the halls, blind and deaf to anything but my thoughts. From the corner of my eyes I suddenly see Marie looking at me with concern in her eyes, but when I turn my head to her they become cold again. As if we don't even know each other. The other girls look at me and raise their shoulders, apology in their eyes as they follow her to the cafeteria.

“I think he'll want to see you. He was very upset last night when I told him I hadn't woken him up when you came by.” I follow Anne up the stairs.

“I'm so sorry, please no. I love you.” We hear Vic beg. I look at Anne but she shakes her head. “I love you please don't. Ahhhhh. Dave, Please. No not again, please don't. Ahhhh. Please, I'm sorry. I love you.” Anne opens the door, Vic is lying on his bed, his face distorted in pain, his body warped and twisting in agony. I feel tears starting to gather in my eyes, I try to walk past Anne but she stops me.

“Go downstairs and get him something to eat and drink. He'll want it when he wakes up.” Her voice is hushed and I can see tears in her eyes as she quickly tries to blink them away.

I turn around as Vic screams out. “Nooooo, nooooo. I'm so sorry. I won't do it again. I promise! I promise! Noooo!” I look back at Anne, her lips quiver but she locks her jaw and nods. I walk down the stairs as she closes the door behind her.

What would make Vic like this? What had that guy done that would make Vic like this? I look around the kitchen for food and decide that tea and toast would be the best option. I put the water in the cooker and the bread in the toaster and sit down. Tears cloud my eyes and wet my shirt as I try to wipe them away. Fuck. So this was what Adam meant when he said that Dave had taken it out on Vic when he found out about the scars. Damn. I hiccup and before I realize it I'm full on bawling my eyes out. Damn. Fuck. This is so unmanly.

“I'm sorry,” Vic whispers close to my ear as he wraps his arms around me. “I'm sorry I hurt you so much.”

“Don't. Don't ever say that again.” I snap at him. His body freezes and his hands clench around my arms. I quickly cover his hands with mine. “I'm sorry, but you have to stop apologizing for everything. It's not your fault.”

“But it -” before he can finish his sentence I've turned around and pressed my lips to his.

“Don't, just don't.” I wrap him in my arms, realizing now how much weight he has lost in the past week. “But please do tell me when you're ready. Even if that might be never, please tell me your story when you're ready.”

“Even if it might be never?” He looks at me confused.

“Even if it means that you might never tell me. Then at least let me believe you one day might. Yes.”

“I will tell you someday. When I find the words to do so, I will tell you everything. Thank you.” He leans against me, his slow warm breath tickles my neck and I pull him flat against me.

“No problem. What do you want to eat? I thought toast might be a good idea.” I sit him at the table as I go through the closets and the fridge to find plates and things to put on his toast.