Black Sheep Part 1 - 8. Chapter 8

“You up for lunch?” His hand is warm on my knee, but he quickly lets go as Marie sits down on his desk.

“I'm hungry. Come on!” She pulls him up and I follow them and the girls to the cafeteria. I feel some sort of a gloomy feeling tugging at the back of my brain but I decide to ignore it. Marie and the girls are chatty enough for me not to have to care about being social. Jack slides his leg against mine under the table, he is so cute, so sweet. I softly push back and 'accidentally' touch him when I bend past him to get something from my bag.

The gloomy feeling grows when lunch comes to an end. I keep trying to ignore it, I don't like feeling gloomy. As the next class progresses the gloomy feeling turns into a bad feeling and my stomach starts to twitch. I look around, trying to keep my mind otherwise occupied but the bad feeling worsens. I look at my hands as my fingers start to tingle, small muscles in my hands start to twitch and I can no longer distract myself from what is happening. I raise my hand to get the teachers attention.

“Yes Vic?” The teacher looks at me.

“Can I go to the bathroom?” I ball my fists to keep the shaking under control, panic is clawing at my brain.

“Sure.” He continues class as I quickly get out off the room. My locker with medication is on the other side of the building. Halfway through the halls I realize I won't make it on time. My hands shake too bad and I feel the muscles in my legs begin to twitch worse. I concentrate with all my might on recovering my cellphone from my pocket and accidentally drop it on the floor. I curse through clenched teeth and slide against the wall next to it. Picking up the phone I push speed dial and Chris picks up straightaway.

“It's bad,” I manage to whisper. “Help.” My mind starts blurring and the trembling worsens.

“Where are you?” Chris' alarmed voice barely reaches me.

“Help...” I whisper before the phone falls out of my hand and my mind goes blank.

My body hurt, my muscles ached and my arm felt trapped. I slowly opened my eyes but that didn't help much. It was dark all around me. I heard some beeping and soft voices, but it was too soft to recognize the words. I lost my focus again and the second time the sun shone brightly on my face. I don't know how long I lay there before I realized this wasn't where I was supposed to be. I wasn't in my room, my room didn't have a window this big. I raised my hand, trying to get the thing off my arm so I could move it better. I didn't feel a blanket, like I was suspecting to, but a cast, a hard plaster that wouldn't budge. When did? What happened? The blurring in my mind seemed to fade little by little, but still the where and why were lost on me.

“You're awake,” A whisper came from the door. “How are you feeling?” I only shook my head, I refused to talk ever since they locked me up in the psych ward. What was the use? They wouldn't let me go as long as they weren't satisfied with me anyway.

“Do you remember what happened?” A chair was pulled up next to the bed. I shook my head again, still not looking at the person next to me. I knew I would break if I did. As the blurring in my mind dissolved, fear began clawing at the edges of my mind. I had no memory of what had happened, none whatsoever. All the possibilities of what happened kept crawling through my mind.

“You had an attack. You were sleeping when it happened. We don't know what caused it or how to avoid it next time. You will stay here for a few days, just for some tests. After that you will come back.” I lifted my left arm, bringing the cast to his attention.

“You fractured your knuckles when you hit the wall. It will heal up nicely.” I closed my eyes and turned my face towards him, tears slowly dripped on the pillow. What was happening to me? Why did nothing work out the right way? What was gonna happen to me?

“Calm down. Everything is going to turn out fine. Just make sure you get better.” He walked back out of the room. I didn't look at him, I didn't really break down, not yet...

When I come to I feel Anna's strong arms surround me, once again. I lift my still slightly twitching hand and cover my face. Groaning, I feel how my whole body feels surreal. Like I'm not really there and maybe I'm not.

“Vic? You're awake! Thank God!” Chris is sitting next to me. I reach for her and open my eyes when she grabs my hand. She is shaking all over, I pull her closer and she gladly accepts the hug. She is so young, she has been through so much trouble already. I keep her close for some more time before I change my attention to the rest of the room. Anne is standing next to me on the other side and the nurse is standing a bit away, giving us our privacy. I can see the worry in Anne's eyes, worry and fear.

“You've been out for half an hour,” her voice is sad, “I'm gonna have to take you to the doctor, when you feel a bit better.” She puts her hand on my forehead and she feels so cold. I concentrate on the feeling and my mind starts drifting off.

“Vic!” Jack dashes in and I can see the barely constrained tears in his eyes. He saw me, he saw what happened to me. I extend my arm towards him and the next moment he is on me, next to Chris. I feel a warm and wet spot appear on my shirt. I promised myself I wouldn't hurt him and I broke that promise already. Just a few days after. From now on I would try even harder.