Black Sheep Part 1 - 7. Chapter 7

“But I want you now” His voice is husky as he pushes against me. Making it very obvious what he wants, I slide one hand to the front of his pants, to distract him and use this short time to open the door and get us inside. Inside, I push Jack against the door and kiss him forcefully, making him moan into my mouth. Damn this guy is sexy! I slip my tongue out and slowly lick his lips, begging for entrance. I feel his lips part slightly and his tongue darts out to meet mine, soft, warm, wet, lovely. I pull his hips closer as I grind against him, this is so hot, so damn hot, maybe I should have chosen some baggier pants. “Take your jacket off, I want to touch you” Jack slowly helps me getting rid of my coat, gloves and shawl, tracing kisses along the muscles in my neck. We stand there, breathing hard, arms around each other, fully hard and both at lost, as what to do next.

“You want something to drink?” I whisper and I feel Jack nodding against my neck, I give him some soft kisses on his lips “then take off your coat and join me on the couch.” I hug him tight, before kissing him one last time and walking into the kitchen. As I lean against the counter I close my eyes and sigh, damn that guy is as hot as he looks. I should keep my head cool, I don't need things to happen that I don't want to. I pour us some orange juice and sigh one last time, calming down and clearing my head. I walk into the living room and see Jack sitting on the couch, playing with his fingers nervously. A wicked idea pops up in my mind and I put his glass in front of him, making him look up at me. I softly push him back into the couch and sit myself on his lap. I take a gulp of my orange juice, but keep some in my mouth and slowly bow towards him. He opens his mouth for a kiss, but when I kiss him, I slowly I open my mouth too, dripping orange juice into his mouth. He stills for a moment but then seeks out my tongue with his, making me to let the rest of the orange juice leak into his mouth. Jack softly moans and pulls my head closer to his, entwining his fingers in my hair. He slowly bows my head back and kisses my neck, sliding his other hand around my back and pulling me closer to him. I feel our arousals press against each other through our pants and I lean my head on his shoulder, moaning softly in his ear. His lower hand slides up a bit and he eases his fingers under my jeans. I abruptly go rigid and he quickly pulls back.

“Sorry” he whispers, putting both his hands high on my back and pulling me close.

“It's okay, it's just... a bit too soon,” I kiss his neck and sit up “lets cuddle in bed and go to sleep, okay?”

“Sure, just one last thing.” Jack pulls me back and kisses me.

I sit on the side of my bed, trying not to shake. I know this won't go away. It won't until I fulfill the craving. It is so bad but I know I shouldn't. I look behind me, Jack is sleeping safe and sound. He won't notice right? Just a few minutes away from him. Sneaking down the stairs and... I can feel my body move before I complete the thought. I sneak downstairs and into the kitchen. I know where I need to be, just across the table, just a few steps away. Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around, startled.

“Don't” Anne whispers “You know it is not worth it. Stay clean.”

“But I need to, I need it,” I whisper and close my eyes, tears filling them up, tears of shame and fright.

“You can stay away, you know it,” She slides her hands around my arms “So please do so, do it for Jack.”

“It's getting so hard again,” I feel the tears roll down my cheeks and Anne pulls me close to her “I don't know if I will be able to stay away.”

“I'm here for you. Just come to me if you need me,” she whispers and holds me tight until I calm down a bit “it's just past 6, you should go back to sleep.” She hugs me tight one more time and then lets go. I nod and walk back up the stairs. Some part of me is glad Anne was there to stop me, another part isn't. There is always this double feeling, no matter how it turns out.

I lie back on the bed and try to fall asleep. After a few minutes I feel Jack's hand slide over me and pull me closer. I give in, he is so sweet, why should he be a victim of my past? I won't hurt him, he should stay pure, as pure as I can keep him. Tears flow down my cheeks another time. I promise myself, no matter what, I will protect him. The door opens for a small bit and I can see Chris standing out against the lighting from the hallway. She gives me a cautious thumbs up and I softly nod. Knowing that she will be able to see it in the dim light from the hallway. She doesn't ask any further but nods and closes the door again. Soon after I drift off back to sleep.