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Do You Ship Us? - 59. Last Night Together

“So, still not a fan of weddings?” Ryan puts his arm around Jasper’s shoulders and whispers in his ear. Jasper smiles and leans into Ryan a little more, the champagne had gone to his head pretty fast so he was feeling light headed and affectionate, though fully aware of this.

“Mm, it was a bit sweet. It did evoke some form of emotion I guess.” Jasper turns to him and slips his arms around Ryan’s neck. The two start slow dancing, way out of time to the upbeat music that was playing but they were in their own bubble. They both felt as though the night was ending too fast and they hadn’t had much time together yet. It must have been completely obvious to everyone else that they were both just hanging around to be polite, because they had everyone watching them dance together. Luke and Fi talk to each other in whispers and then Luke heads into the kitchen and gets the cake out of the fridge while Fi taps a glass to get their attention so they can wrap up the last of the parts they wanted company for so Jasper and Ryan could spend the rest of the night on their own.

Simon gives a toast to the newlyweds and Luke and Fi both make quick speeches about each other, thanking the boys for being there to support them and thanking Ryan for stepping up and helping out by running the ceremony. The couple cut their ‘wedding cake’ which happened to just be a store bought white chocolate cake with a bride and groom topper, not that anyone complained because cake is cake. Simon and Blake were pouring more champagne for themselves and getting beyond tipsy and it was clear that Luke and Fi themselves were wanting their space now, as they weren’t trying to make much effort to talk to their guests anymore. Luke seemed to be trying to hint at everyone leaving, he started with Ryan and Jasper, giving them the suggestion that they didn’t have to hang around anymore and once they agreed that they would head off, he went to Simon and Blake with the same kind of comment, noticing the two were in partying moods and he and Fi weren’t.

There drive home had a melancholic feeling, both Jasper and Ryan were looking forward to being home and spending the night together, but they also felt sad that they were only hours away from being apart for months. Jasper hadn’t told Ryan yet, but he’d already bought a plane ticket to surprise him for his birthday in a couple of weeks.

So we should probably talk before we get home.” Jasper breaks the silence only a block from their place.

“You know that phrase stresses me out. What is it this time?” Ryan sighs, feeling absolute dread.

“Look, I promise I will never break up with you in the car, or in any situation that puts my safety in your ability to concentrate. No point breaking up with you if I’m going to die in the process.” Jasper jokes, Ryan cracks a smile and places a hand on Jasper’s knee.

“Ok then, what’s up?” He asks.

“Well ok, this is weirder to talk about than I thought it would be. But tonight right, so I think we’re on the same page about how we want to spend it. We’ve been together for ages, 6 months soon, your birthday is only a few weeks away, I want tonight to be a celebration of those things and I think you know how I was planning on celebrating that with you. The only thing I need you to consider for yourself, because I know how important that step is for you and I would hate for you to regret anything, that while I do love you I do also still have concerns about us working out long term because obviously there are things we need to work out that don’t line up, we both feel pretty strongly about. I just want us to be completely honest with each other, so if the fact that I still some doubts is a turn off for you just tell me so I don’t spend the rest of the night anxiously wondering when you’re going to make a move on me and how far that’s going to go because I’m quite nervous and need to either know it’s happening, or it’s not.”

“Wow, that had everything, that was a roller coaster. Excitement, anticipation, confusion and empathy rounded off with demanding honesty and some anxieties that you sounded mad about.” Ryan sighs as he goes over each point in his own head, rubbing Jasper’s knee. “Alright completely honest, it’s not a turn off at all that you are considerate and respectful of me. I wouldn’t regret anything about this relationship, the only thing I’ll regret, is not finding a way to make it work if we don’t end up working everything out. I just want to love you forever.” Ryan assures him, but Jasper doesn’t seem any more relaxed. “I’ve just got to print this marriage paperwork out and fill it out for Luke and Fi and then I’m all yours for the next 10 hours and 32 minutes.”

“Cool, that’ll give me time for a relaxing shower.” Jasper nods thoughtfully, chewing his lips.

“Fine, as long as you get back into that suit.” Ryan winks at Jasper after he parks the car.


“Because I’ve been wanting to take it off you since I saw you in it.” Ryan tells him, looking at Jasper who just stares back with a smirk on his face.

“Wow. Ok.” Jasper laughs and gets out of the car, Ryan gets out and walks around to his side, holding his hand while they head over to the lift, both of them just exchanging nervous and excited smiles, squeezing each other’s hands. Jasper unlocks the door and holds it open for Ryan who kisses him on the cheek in passing.

“I promise I’ll get this done as fast as I can.” He says then pulls his phone out, searching through his emails for the form he needed while he hurries over to the printer.

“I hope that’s the last time you say that tonight.” Jasper says cheekily as he finds him a pen and then pours both of them a drink. He leans against the bench watching Ryan curse at the printer for a few moments before he takes his phone out, reading a text from Blake wishing him luck for the night. Jasper’s heart starts really racing as he hears the printer start up. He watches Ryan check over the printed paperwork, test the pen on spare paper and then start filling it out. He finishes signing it then puts it on the kitchen bench.

“Just get them to sign it and post it to this address.” Ryan scribbles down an address on the spare paper. “Now, if you give me a second, I just want to set something up for you.” He hints and leaves Jasper in anticipation, closing himself off in the bedroom to no doubt light some candles for the sake of making the room more romantic.

For a moment Jasper thinks he’s hearing Ryan making noise in the room then he realizes it’s coming from the front door and into his sight, stumbles Damien, who was clearly intoxicated.

“What the fuck?” Jasper felt his heart drop, even if they got rid of him, just seeing Damien had killed the mood completely already.

“What’s up fucker.” Damien grins at him, waving.

“How the hell did you get in?” Jasper storms over to him.

“You left the door open.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not an invitation to just come in, get the hell out of here.” Jasper watches Ryan’s drunken ex, struggle to stay upright, swaying and reaching for things to hold onto.

“No thanks. I’m good here. Where’s Ryan?” Damien asks loudly, stumbling forward towards where Jasper had come from. “In your bedroom I’m guessing. Is he dressed or is this going to be my lucky night?” Damien turns to give Jasper a cheeky smile but loses his balance and falls backwards, finding himself being caught in someone’s arms. “Definitely my lucky night.” Damien stares up affectionately at Ryan who was trying to help him back onto his own feet. “Noo~ Don’t. Just hold me.” Damien deliberately lets his body go limp so Ryan’s forced to keep holding onto him.

“What part of I don’t want you in my life made you think you should break in to our place demanding to talk to me?” Ryan asks annoyed, as he lifts Damien up and carries him to the couch, placing him down and fighting off Damien’s arms that were trying desperately to cling to him.

“What part of you don’t want me in your life, made you decide to get out of bed to see me?” Damien retorts, giving up and lying on the couch, closing his eyes and relaxing.

“I wasn’t in bed, besides I figure you’re not here to see Jasper so I wasn’t going to leave him to deal with you. What do you want?” Ryan sighs, standing up and going into the kitchen to get some water for their intruder. Jasper just watches him, his arms crossed and a clearly unimpressed expression on his face. It didn’t go unnoticed, as Ryan passes him again with the glass of water, he gently runs his hand along Jasper’s lower back.

“Don’t get sucked into whatever shit he’s trying to pull here.” Jasper comments, not caring that he’d said it loud enough for Damien to hear.

Oh fuck off Jasper.” Damien groans. Jasper raises an eyebrow at him and shakes his head, looking away from him in frustration.

“You don’t get to talk to him like that, this is his house and I won’t talk to you at all if you’re going to be rude to him.” Ryan warns, walking over and placing the glass on the coffee table in front of the lounge.

“So sexy when you defend someone. Remember when you use to talk about me like that, to anyone who ever said anything bad about me?” Damien smiles, sitting up for a moment before falling flat against the couch again. “Oh wait, you never stood up for me.”

“What do you want?” Ryan asks, not interested in talking about their past, especially since Jasper was in the room and already annoyed that Ryan was talking to him at all.

“I’m mad at you.” Damien mumbles.

“As if you, of all people, have the right.” Jasper rolls his eyes.

“You totally flaked on me, we never actually technically broke up, by the way, so technically...”

“You cannot be fucking serious right now.” Jasper scoffs and walks off, annoyed and not wanting to listen to another second of Damien’s crap.

“You were hooking up with other guys the whole relationship. At what point did you ever make me feel like we were together in an exclusive relationship? I didn’t owe you anything after how little you cared about me. I didn’t owe it to you, to even send a text to say it was over. Surely months of having no contact is enough for you to work that out yourself. Don’t you dare try to devalue my relationship with Jasper by saying stupid things like that, trying to insinuation I’m cheating on you. You broke me down to my lowest point, you didn’t deserve to know any of the choices I made after I cut you out of my life.” Ryan sits back and rubs his forehead, he didn’t want to waste his energy or time being upset by anything Damien did or said anymore, yet having to have this conversation at all was completely emotionally draining.

“Was I really so bad that you wanted to kill yourself over me?” Damien asks, his expression said sad, but his tone was completely unaware. As though he had absolutely no comprehension of what he put Ryan through, his true colours showing clearly. He may have not realized what he’d been like in their relationship, but he didn’t seem remorseful, or even the slightest bit apologetic to have caused so much pain. He simply didn’t understand what was ‘so bad’ about how he treated him. The biggest red flag. Before Ryan even bothered to begin answering that loaded question, Damien passes out.

“He’s not staying here.” Jasper snaps when Ryan walks past him to retrieve a blanket for Damien.

“He’s passed out Jasper, I can’t exactly send him off in a taxi on his own.” Ryan explains on his way back to the couch.

“Ryan.” Jasper protests then suddenly his eyes fill with tears.

“Hey.” Ryan quickly grabs Jasper’s shoulders and looks into his eyes worried.

“I can’t do this. I can’t have him in our lives, you either cut him out for good or...”

“I keep telling him to leave us alone.” Ryan argues.

“Well telling him isn’t doing shit Ryan, and you may not have invited him over, but you’re getting things for him to sleep on the couch and it’s not ok with me. You need to get rid of him.” Jasper demands, tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

“Ok, I’ll take him home if it bothers you.” Ryan shrugs.

“You’ll take him home? Tuck him in too? Make sure he’s ok? Leave me here and go and take care of him?” Jasper asks feeling at a loss. “It’s too much. He’s poison and if you can’t cut him out, then I’m the one that is going to be leaving.” Jasper orders, turning his back on Ryan and walking into the bedroom, closing and locking the door to keep himself apart from Ryan and show him how serious he was. Ryan tries to open the door then bangs on it.

“Jasper, I’m so sorry. I will sort Damien out.” Ryan tells him. Jasper just sits on the floor sobbing. He was devastated that it’d come to this, but seeing Ryan still taking care of Damien so compassionately had made him wonder if there was still feelings there, and if he had the intention of sharing his life with someone who was still so attached to his ex. There was too much doubt, that there was more than just the fact Ryan was a nice guy, behind him still being so considerate of the man who’d once pushed him over the edge. He wanted to feel like the only choice, not the choice that Ryan was still trying to make. It wasn’t good enough anymore, to excuse it because of their past, it wasn’t good enough to keep blaming Damien for it all and let Ryan pass it off as nothing.

@Copyright (2018), Claire Rosalind; All Rights Reserved.
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Oh boy I hope Damien doesn’t actually cause Jasper and Ryan to break up. I understand where Jaspers coming from about Ryan and Damien, Damien isn’t good for Ryan hell he never really cared for him at all. He’s out sleeping with any guy that gives him the opportunity and then he has the right to say that he and Ryan never really broke up. If Ryan doesn’t get him out of his life one way or another he’ll lose the one good thing in his life. 

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