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    Mikiesboy
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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tim's poetry workbook - 6. Elegy

Soooo ... it's been awhile since i posted one of these prompts. Busy all through May and i was writing, but now i'm done so here we are. The prompt called for lines of 8 syllables, but i chose to change that to 9-10-10-9 because i don't always like 8 syllables.

And this piece isn't perfect ... after talking with AC, i need to work on stanza's where all lines relate to a single idea. It's not an easy or simple thing but i have to agree that he's right. I will work on that.

So here is my answer for this prompt ...

 

 

 

The Prompt: write your own Elegy of at least 4 or 5 stanzas per poem. Imagine you are sitting by yourself in some personally significant natural spot. It could be in the woods, or on a mountaintop, or by a babbling brook – the place in nature where you feel connected to it. Then, imagining you are there, write at one Elegy on the theme of 'Remember.' Keep the rhyme pattern a-b-b-a, use as many stanzas as you like, but maintain a consistent 8-syllable line. Play with it; your poem does not have to be about death or loss, just remembrance.

 

 


 

Peace exists outside my boxy place

what I seek I find in a nearby park

and I run my hand over the rough bark

against the tree, leaning back to brace

 

There among cool breezes and tall trees

my thoughts are free to drift and to wander

and it’s about life, I sit and ponder

In this time there’s only me to please

 

As a partner, darkness always waits

but banished here in the dappled sunlight

though harder to keep at bay, in the night

Lately I’ve had kindness from the Fates

 

My thoughts have been selfish, I’m ashamed

recently, you have not been on my mind

I pray that in your eyes, I’m not unkind

Perhaps my happiness can be blamed

 

You reside in each blade, each bird’s song

reminders in the fresh new buds of spring

There are few remembrances to which I cling

it’s for the touch of your hand, I long

 

Sitting here among the plants and trees

in peace, gentle memories of you come

I wonder where this melancholy’s from

for there’s no need, your ghost, to appease

****

Thanks for reading.
Copyright © 2019 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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While my brain had a bit of a breakdown trying to comprehend your explanation of what an elegy is, I do understand - in my mind anyway - and appreciate your poems. They are lovely, tim. :) 

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16 minutes ago, Reader1810 said:

While my brain had a bit of a breakdown trying to comprehend your explanation of what an elegy is, I do understand - in my mind anyway - and appreciate your poems. They are lovely, tim. :) 

He actually hasn't explained ... but an elegy is a poem of nature and also remembrance. And I see AC has explained in his comments. 

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58 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

He actually hasn't explained ... but an elegy is a poem of nature and also remembrance. And I see AC has explained in his comments. 

Okay, that’s true, I was speaking more of the technical aspect of an elegy. My brain just wouldn’t absorb what tim wrote about that part, 

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Beautifully written, Tim. I enjoyed just reading and going with the flow of the words. I didn't go back and check the technical quality of your poem. I just got caught up in the feelings. Thanks.

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13 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

It may not be perfect, boy, but she would love it anyway.  It's beautiful. xo

thank You, Michael. i hope she would xoxo

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11 hours ago, mollyhousemouse said:

this is wonderful tim! simply beautiful
and the picture in my head is so clear, and so beautiful
i can't wait to see it when you are done tweaking it 💛

it is finished ... i'm glad you like it xo

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10 hours ago, AC Benus said:

This is a great Elegy. The two things this type of poetry are good at -- connection with nature, and remembrance of things lost -- are balanced here admirably. Your rhyme choices enhance the stanzas, and never distract, which is a hard thing to do. As for spreading a thought through a stanza, what matters is to avoid hard stops at the end of lines within the stanza. Here, you don't sense that very much, and things like line-end punctuation can add or distract from that goal.

This is a great poem, and I'm really pleased you took the Poetry Prompt challenge :)

 

Thank you, AC.  You are so good to look at these and offer support and advice. It's very helpful and means a lot. Thanks for being so generous. xo

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8 hours ago, Reader1810 said:

While my brain had a bit of a breakdown trying to comprehend your explanation of what an elegy is, I do understand - in my mind anyway - and appreciate your poems. They are lovely, tim. :) 

Thanks for reading it. i am glad you enjoyed it.

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7 hours ago, Reader1810 said:

Okay, that’s true, I was speaking more of the technical aspect of an elegy. My brain just wouldn’t absorb what tim wrote about that part, 

Sometimes 8 syllables isn't enough ... once upon a time that was too much!  Using 9 or 10 gives you more flexibility.   Thanks for reading this. xo

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5 hours ago, JeffreyL said:

Beautifully written, Tim. I enjoyed just reading and going with the flow of the words. I didn't go back and check the technical quality of your poem. I just got caught up in the feelings. Thanks.

Thanks JeffreyL.. i appreciate you reading and your comments very much. I'm glad the feeling came through. xo

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This is a compelling elegy, tim. From your "boxy place" to your natural refuge, you illustrate your emotions beautifully. Nature can conjure up some pretty powerful memories. 

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I love this. You connect where you are to that person you love and remember. Thank you for this. 

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20 hours ago, MacGreg said:

This is a compelling elegy, tim. From your "boxy place" to your natural refuge, you illustrate your emotions beautifully. Nature can conjure up some pretty powerful memories. 

thank You, Sir.  i find being out among trees especially, very emotional and moving.  i've never really left the city much . but i like trees very much.  So it's easy to find that emotional place when i write about nature or being in it.  That's why i think it was so easy to write The Promise ...  Thanks very much for Your comments, Sir.  xo

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19 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

I love this. You connect where you are to that person you love and remember. Thank you for this. 

Thank you very much Parker.  i appreciate you taking the time to read this and for your comments.

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