tim's poetry workbook - 8. Quatrains

They sound good to me. However I think we all sit and wait to hear from AC … 

In my opinion, I think you did a great job with these poems. I don't know what caused the first poem to come about, but I can feel the rebuke in it. You say in a few lines, something that if the offender were to read, hopefully they would get its meaning, and correct their actions. The second one is filled with love, and you can see it, feel it, and taste it. Well done, my Brother.

I like both of them! As for opposing emotions, yes, you show them with these two poems. They both flow nicely, avoiding hard stops at the end of the end of the lines. This is an important feature to have/keep in mind as we move on to the Sonnet poetry prompt.

The first one creates a palpable sense of what it feels like to be bullied and belittled. You do great in recreating this in the reader's mind while they are reading it. Like @Brayon I hope the offending party does read this and correct their actions because of it. 

The second one is warm and caring. As with the first one, you create an emotion in the reader's mind. This time a nurturing and protective one. It's a great achievement. 

Thanks for taking the Quatrain challenge! I hope this form of poetry goes into your poet's tool kit to come out when inspiration strikes!

10 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

They both flow nicely, avoiding hard stops at the end of the end of the lines. This is an important feature to have/keep in mind as we move on to the Sonnet poetry prompt.

Our talk about transition words helped me a lot .. i think i may be getting it .. thanks AC. xo

Both are well written and show emotions, negative and positive. I didn't count syllables or watch carefully the rhyming. We can leave that for the teacher. I just read to feel the emotions and understand the meaning, which I easily did. Thanks. 

6 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

They sound good to me. However I think we all sit and wait to hear from AC … 

Thank you. You are always an inspiration Sir  xoxo

6 hours ago, Brayon said:

In my opinion, I think you did a great job with these poems. I don't know what caused the first poem to come about, but I can feel the rebuke in it. You say in a few lines, something that if the offender were to read, hopefully they would get its meaning, and correct their actions. The second one is filled with love, and you can see it, feel it, and taste it. Well done, my Brother.

Thanks, A.  Oh, i doubt even if they did read it, none of them would see themselves in it or if they did, they'd not care.  The second is much more important. Thanks for for your excellent comments, my friend. xo

3 hours ago, JeffreyL said:

Both are well written and show emotions, negative and positive. I didn't count syllables or watch carefully the rhyming. We can leave that for the teacher. I just read to feel the emotions and understand the meaning, which I easily did. Thanks. 

Thanks so much for leaving your thoughts ... i always enjoy them and look for them. They are much appreciated.

The contrast in the two makes each more vivid - an excellent pairing of emotions.

Your poems are excellent, but so was the discussion above it.  Writing to a specific form is difficult, but writing to a specific theme in addition is even more so.  I'll remember AC's advice when I get back to these prompts.  To paraphrase a recent comment by another GA member, if the voices don't speak, there is nothing to write.