Guardian

On 08/18/2011 02:02 AM, Cia said:

Well that's an intriguing start. I do want to read on, fortunately there is more to read But what's up with the quotation marks around the paragraphs? Is he talking to someone we don't know about yet? If not they need to go.

He's talking to himself. He's always talking to himself. Surprisingly enough, I do this. Not like narratoing my own story but when i start talking to myself, it's all in the mind. It's more of giving you insights on how he was thinking about it, when it happened, how it got there. Everything in thoughts is his point of view thinking about it, putting his own words in it so you see his view on it. and the way i write it is exactly how he'd say it like he's narrating his own story (i think i had a lot of misspells in there)

Interesting story so far but I'd like to add my two cents about the future- Gabriel has issues but I don't want him to end up with Orion. Hopefull Gabe can help Orion change while still keeping Tristan as his guardian. His entire pack was decimated and they need the power Gabriel will be able to offer. Maybe the two remaining packs can merge? I like how Orion has always taken in strays. Also Scott needs to die. Horribly.

 

Finally there are a few really glaring grammar errors in this story that made it difficult to read at times. Have you tried to find an editor?

 

Keep it up! And thanks

On 09/08/2011 09:02 AM, Rebelghost85 said:

Interesting story so far but I'd like to add my two cents about the future- Gabriel has issues but I don't want him to end up with Orion. Hopefull Gabe can help Orion change while still keeping Tristan as his guardian. His entire pack was decimated and they need the power Gabriel will be able to offer. Maybe the two remaining packs can merge? I like how Orion has always taken in strays. Also Scott needs to die. Horribly.

 

Finally there are a few really glaring grammar errors in this story that made it difficult to read at times. Have you tried to find an editor?

 

Keep it up! And thanks

lol, you're the first to say that. I have many plans for Gabriel, and yes I am in search of an editor and making progress and being helped with it. When i get feedback, all mistakes and errors will be updated regarding which chapter they are in. I add in the remarks when I edited it.Orion's always been there for his kind, even if he can be a dick sometimes. Scott does need to die, and I will have fun with that and I think you'll enjoy it as well.(i'll probably have to high light it cause it's cross the teen into mature possibly)The whole concept behind this story has changed and right now it's a debatable fact that i might change it into a series. Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate the time you took to write it

So it's been 3yrs wen is the rest coming