Cinderfella - 3. Chapter 3 Coming Out

I finished dressing for dinner and went to the dining room where Ella was doting on her six-year-old son. But her attention was also on her two daughters, Ada and Ana. Thomas was like his father and me with black hair. Ada and Ana were twins, but not identical. One had a brownish-blonde hair and the other like her mother with true blonde hair. I knew my nieces would break hearts one day. Thomas I was sure would as he was already looking much like his father. Ella brightened as she saw me. “Erik.”

“Hello, Ella.” I greeted planting a kiss on her cheek as I passed and did the same with Ada and Ana. Then took my usual place beside Thomas. “Thomas, my great, handsome nephew.” I drew him into a hug.

“Did you hear?” Thomas asked excitedly. “A stranger got into the castle!”

I blushed a little. It was my fault. “I heard, but I’m sure it was nothing.”

Ella, between her four-year-old daughters, frowned. “I hope so.”

“Can I take fencing classes now?” Thomas all but begged. “I might be needed to help protect us.”

Ella sighed. “I know it’s important for a king to be able to defend himself. But I don’t like you learning violence, Thomas.”

I caused this. “Can you pick up a sword?” I asked my nephew.

His eyes lowered sadly. “No.” He confessed. “When I can, then can I learn to fence?”

Ella smiled at me for making him admit he wasn’t ready. “We’ll see, honey.” Then we were all looking up as Christian came in smiling. “Greetings, my dear family.” He strode to his place at the head of the table. “I hope the situation didn’t scare anyone.”

Now, I really felt bad. “We’re fine, Christian,” I assured.

He nodded with a smile and sigh. “Well, it was a trial getting my guards to relax. I agreed with what you told Delbert, Erik. It could have been a young man who just wanted to see inside the palace. Or it could have been one of the staff’s children or visiting nephew who didn’t know the rules. I don’t believe he meant anyone harm. He certainly didn’t steal anything, so case closed as far as I’m concerned.”

The staff brought out the trays with their usual flourish, always proud of what they prepared. The lids were removed and a wonderful aroma filled the room as soups were dished out into bowls before us.

Christian smiled at the dish and turned to the plump woman about forty who stood proudly at his side. “Ida! This smells incredible! I believe you have outdone yourselves again!” He grinned at her.

The woman curtsied and was blushing from the praise. “I do try, Your Majesty.” She shook her head. “But you say that almost every day.”

“Because it’s always true,” Christian said smiling. “You do outdo yourselves nearly every day.”

“I agree, Ida.” Ella nodded as she tucked a napkin in her daughter’s lap. “I will thank the kitchen staff again, after dinner.”

She curtsied again, this time to Ella. “Thank you, Your Majesty. It’s just such a pleasure to cook for such a fine family. That you like it is all the thanks I need.” And she backed away.

I chuckled and smiled at my brother. “We learned our father’s lessons well.”

Then we both quoted our father. “Compliments are never unappreciated when sincere. The rewards are endless.”

Christian chuckled. “And they are sincere.”

I took a deep breath and plugged into what I dreaded. “Okay, I have some things to discuss with you about the ball.”

“Ball!?” Thomas cried out suddenly even more excited than when he was about the stranger. “Are we having a ball? Are we coming?”

Ella laughed. “No, Sweetie. The balls’ going to be in Blethos. Only your father and uncle are going to that ball.”

“Oh,” Thomas said disappointingly.

Then she smiled at me. “But we’ll be going to the wedding.”

“Wedding!?” Thomas piped in again. “Those are always delicious. Who’s getting married?”

“I am.” I chuckled at my nephew’s enthusiasm. At least about the food he was excited about.

“Are you marrying a princess?” Thomas asked, then thought to himself. “Of course you are. All princes marry princesses. That’s the rule.”

“Well, your uncle will be marrying, but she will be queen if he does,” Christian answered his son’s statement.

“So, you’ll be what…king?” Thomas asked as his eyebrows knitted together to understand.

“No.” I smiled, and here was the sad truth. “If I marry a girl from Blethos, I will be still a prince. A consort. But my children will be king or queen when they ascend the throne.”

“Consort? What’s that?” Thomas asked.

“He means someone like me, dear,” Ella answered.

“But you’re queen. Why won’t Uncle Erik be king?” Thomas was confused.

Christian could sense the odd subject. “Well, your mother is queen consort as my wife, son. Just as the woman you marry will be. I guess your Uncle Erik could be called king consort.” He smiled at me. “But in many ways, your uncle is very, very important. He will be combining Blethos and A’Dore. Something that has never been done before. So, in fact, he’s doubling the kingdom. Something your grandfather nor I could ever do.” He said proudly.

I was again feeling the pressure. “Yes, well…I need to talk to you, Christian….and Ella when the kids are put to sleep if you don’t mind. To discuss what I’m doing and why.”

Christian nodded. “Okay, but you know whatever you think should be done, will be done.”

I nodded. “I know…but I don’t think you want me to go into some…consort things and speak about…” I grinned at Christian. “Sorry, brother…but tingling things.” Reminding him of what he told me once how Ella had made him feel when he saw her.

Christian nearly choked on his soup when he heard that and Ella just looked confused.

“Tingling?” She asked.

Christian, who I’ve never seen blush before was getting a little pink. “Yes, sure, sure…” he agreed hurriedly nodding to his wife. “We’ll discuss this more…later.”

The whole thing would have been funny, except for the knot in my gut and fear of how Christian would feel about what I had to say. I never wanted to cause him pain, and my fear was that was exactly what he would feel.

Christian changed the subject during the rest of the meal. I dreaded our upcoming conversation. I waited in the family’s communal room where I awaited Christian and Ella. Ella had begun getting her children to bed and Christian had gone to attend some business before the end of the evening. I paced in front of the fireplace in the comfortable room. I did drink on occasion, but the situation merited a bit stronger drink and I had poured myself a stronger liquor which I swallowed in an instant, rather enjoying the burn as it went down my throat. The stab of a little discomfort was welcome with what I needed to tell my brother and his wife.

“It may not be as bad as you fear.” By now, Demetrius’ sudden appearances didn’t shock me as much as it did the first two times.

I sighed without turning around. “Then why do I fear to tell him?”

“Desires of the heart are often met with uncertainty.” Demetrius smiled patiently. “And yours is not common and often feared by the uneducated. Your brother and Ella are not that sorts.” He reassured. “Trust Christian.”

I smiled at him as I heard the door open and turned to see Christian come in. I turned to introduce Demetrius to my brother, but again, he was gone. So I smiled weakly at Christian and his bout of embarrassment. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you at dinner, Christian.”

Christian looked at me curiously. Then remembered what I’d said to get him here. He smiled. “Well, I was the one that said it to you first. Besides, no one but you and I knew what that meant. It’s fine.” He looked at my glass and his smile faltered a little. “I gather this conversation is going to be…intense.”

I nodded. “It will be.”

Christian nodded and went to our bar and poured himself a glass of wine. “Can I ask, or do you wish to wait for Ella?”

I sighed and wished for more courage. I took another swallow. “I will assure you, I will do my duty. Believe that.”

Christian sipped his wine and sat before the fireplace. “Good.” He smiled at me. “I trust, I hear a big but in there.”

I nodded. “There is.”

Then Ella came into the room with a sigh. “Christian, that son of ours is hard to get to sleep.” She laughed as she came in. “All his questions, my goodness. His mind is always working.”

Christian smiled. “I know.” He chuckled. “He desires to know how and why for everything. The sign of a keen mind, and good future king.” He kissed her hand as she sat in a chair near her husband. Then he looked at me. “You have our undivided attention, Erik.”

“I have a plan that will help me make a decision about the future ruler of Blethos,” I said. “I will go to Blethos at the end of this week as planned. I will be presented to King Alexander, by you, Christian, as is custom. I will then disappear as your brother.”

Christian looked curiously. “Where will you be?”

“I will take on the role of a servant. To hear what the applicants really say when they don’t know I’m around. There are five masks in my room, those masks will be worn the night of the ball and applicants will know that only that one person there is me, but I won’t be any of the five presented. I will observe and listen to them as they don’t realize the one to make such a momentous decision may have heard what they’ve said to each other not knowing I heard them.”

Christian sat forward. “How will you do that?” He asked. “There are members of the court of Blethos that know you. Some of their children are applicants.”

I nodded. “I can’t say, exactly.” I smiled. “The stranger in the palace today….was me.”

Ella looked surprised, but Christian frowned. “That’s not possible.” He said. “All of the guards know you. Yet they swore they did not know this stranger who was here. You were using a disguise?”

I smiled again, nodding. “Sort of.” I looked at Ella. “I wish to thank you, Ella. Your fairy godmother sent me the perfect person to help me.”

Ella looked at her husband a little warily. Then looked at me. “She came to you?”

I shook my head. “No. She sent another. Demetrius. He is, as she supposedly was and is, capable of doing magic.”

Christian put his glass down. “Wait, wait…” he held his hand up to stop the conversation. “Magic? While I admit there are many things in this world I don’t understand, but I’ve never been sure about this magical help Ella was given.”

Ella nodded. “I know, dear. That’s why I don’t speak of it much.”

I sat near them. “Oh, come on, Christian. A mysterious woman appears at a ball, where most knew Ella if only having met her at the market. There were those that knew her very well, like her step-mother and step-sisters. No one recognized her. She got there, having no access to a carriage in one supposed made up out of a pumpkin by magic by her godmother, a carriage which disappeared after the ball. The gown Ella wore also disappeared after the ball. Is that because it was magically manufactured?” I asked. “Explain it, if there’s another explanation.”

Christian looked at his wife, then at me. “I can’t.” He admitted. “But how do we know this….Demetrius is trustworthy? He could be a demon. A witch or something else.”

I nodded. “He could be. But I don’t think so. All I know is he’s offered me a plan that could work.” I took another gulp of the liquor. “I trust him. Now I ask you to trust me.”

Again, Christian looked at me, scrutinizing me critically. “I’ve never known you to make up tales or stories. And you are not stupid, so I can’t believe you could easily be deceived.” He looked at his wife. “And you really believe this.”

Ella smiled, nodding. “I believe it, because I saw what another of them did for me.”

Christian got up and drank the rest of his wine and poured himself another drink, only the same liquor I had just taken and downed it in a gulp. “Okay.” He sighed turning back. “But this part of our discussion is not about the tingle, is it?”

It must have been the alcohol. I laughed. “No, it’s not.” I got up and tipped the bottle a little more to give him more. “You will need this.”

Ella never got angry, but she was getting impatient. “Tingle, tingling…would someone explain what you two are talking about?”

Christian dumped a bit more of the liquor down his throat. “It’s the word I used…to explain to Erik what you made me feel about you.” He grinned at her. “I said you make me tingle.”

Ella burst into a peal of delightful laughter. She got up and hugged her husband. “That has got to be….the nicest, sweetest thing you've said to me or about me in months.” She kissed him, which was not odd for them to do in front of me or their children. We were family. “You certainly make me tingle, husband.”

I took another large gulp. “And that’s exactly what I want. Someone that I make tingle and makes me tingle.” Then I looked at them. “My desire…is to have that person be male.”

Ella looked a little surprised, but Christian was not. “I asked you this when I told you some of the applicants were male.”

I nodded. “I know.” I sat again. “But this was something I didn’t even want to admit to myself. Much less to you.” And though I hadn’t intended to, tears were beginning to come down my face. I stood, coming up to Christian. “I never want to hurt you, I could never hurt you and I fear my telling you this will do just that. I love you, Christian. You’re my brother. You and Dad have been my role models all my life! I wanted to do what you ask, always. I tried to see women like I was supposed to, but I feel nothing. No tingling at all. Nothing. Yet, when I’m with men, I do. I see them, their beauty and long to feel those strong arms around me. I want to do what I’m supposed to do with women to and with them. I’ve tried! To be the sort of prince for the good of the kingdom and our family. But I can’t!”

Christian’s face held uncertainty. His mind working, you could see it. “And this Demetrius can’t fix this?”

Ella looked at her husband. “You want Demetrius to use magic to make Erik something he isn’t?”

Christian looked at his wife. “If it solves the problem, why not?”

Ella shook her head and walked toward the fireplace, her mind also working. “I fear if magic is used…with anyone to make them something they aren’t, there will be problems. Be it a man into a monster or even a frog. There will be problems. A man that’s changed by magic is always a problem.” She turned to her husband. “We know Erik as he is now. He’s brave, handsome and smart. He’s kind. He is the perfect example of a man, and a perfect brother and prince. If he’s changed by magic, what will be won? Will he be the same? I can’t say, but it won’t be him!” She pointed out.

“You’re talking about stories we tell our children,” Christian said. “Magic.”

“Aren’t we becoming one?” Ella asked. “The story about us is becoming the story of Cinderella and Prince Charming.”

In spite of what I was feeling, the truth was now out, but my curiosity was intrigued. “The name Cinderella. Your name is Ella. How did you become known as Cinderella?”

She smiled and chuckled. “It was a name given to me by Lucille, my step-sister. I was so often cleaning the fireplaces at home and often covered in the cinders from the fireplace, so she started calling me Cinderella. I like it now.”

“But if magic got us together…,” Christian argued.

“Did magic make us fall in love?” Ella asked. “We were brought together by magic, but we fell in love on our own! No magic involved. No spells. Just you and me. You believe that, don’t you?”

Christian took the last of his liquor in another swallow. “No.” Then he grinned. “There was a spell used that made me fall in love with you.” He kissed her unashamed. “Cast by you. I’ve been under your spell since the moment we met.”

Ella smiled hugging her husband. “Then you did the same for me.”

Christian saw my face, reached over and wiped the tears from my face. Then he pulled me into a tight embrace. “I love you, Erik. More than I have loved anyone. You are my brother. I’m just so scared for you.”

I returned the embrace. “I know.” I was feeling a little relief now. He hadn’t reacted as I feared he would. “I’m scared for me, too, but I am what I am.”

Christian only let me go a little, but still held me. “We’re family. No one will harm you. Ever.”

I smiled now, feeling a little drunk now. “Thank you.” I laughed. “The courage I took from the bottle is getting to me.”

Christian laughed. “How much did you drink?”

I shrugged. “Enough to tell you the awful truth. I’d better get to bed.” I hugged Christian again. “I love you, Christian. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Then he did what he’s only done three times I could remember. He kissed my cheek. “I don’t. I love you. I’d die before I let you come to harm.”

I kissed Ella on the cheek. “Thank you, Ella.”

She held my hand. “It will be just fine.”

I was a little drunk, but I fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a long time.