I've Always Loved You - 7. Hero Worship

The latest crisis of the Atkins’ latest attempt to cause problems had been dealt with. Mike nor I thought this was over, though. Manfred Atkins was willing to commit a crime to get Chet back. He was willing to kill Mike. We both knew he’d do it again. Mike and I had taken steps to make it even more difficult.

After our nightly rituals to get ready for bed, Mike sat on the bed setting the alarm clock. He looked over at me and with a slight look of uncertainty he said. “Can I go with you to California?”

I looked up surprised. “I’d love for you to, but you have Chet, who is in school and school for yourself. How can you do that?”

Mike grinned rolling over toward me. “Well, I asked.” He shrugged. “I can keep up with my studies online. Many of the students at Dilworth are taken from school for weeks or even months. If I keep him up with the curriculum, he’ll be fine. Giving him the tests and whatever assignments he’s given. There will be no problem.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. “I was worried about the prolonged separation! That would be great!”

Mike propped over me. “We spent a lot of time apart, I don’t want to do that again if we can help it.”

My fingers went in his hair as I brought him in for the kiss that was gentle, but conveying…not quite the love I felt for him. I don’t think a true expression of that was possible. “We’ll do what we have to.” I smiled. “This will be different for me; doing this movie.” Then I shook my finger at him. “Now, you promise me…whatever you feel…whether you think it’s silly or not, irrational or not…you tell me! I mean talk to me. Understand?”

Mike nodded holding up his fingers in a scout’s promise and then crossed his heart. “I swear I will. Cross my heart.”

I nodded. “Were you ever a boy scout?”

His eyebrows waggled up and down. He wasn’t answering that.

The next few days were pretty good. I was busy even though I had the days off. Off as in I didn’t have a concert or anything like that, but I worked! I went over the different themes of my shows. I loved them. The themes and the shows. Like the biker gang. It was kind of a 1950’s and 60’s sort of theme with the leather jackets and hair combed back and the songs were more geared to that era. With my unique twist. The cowboy theme was what Hap and his husband Barry loved. They actually inspired it, to be honest. I just didn’t really care for some country music. I could perform it. I wore the chaps, boots, spurs and…I did also add my unique twist. Who wouldn’t love the lonely cowboy out the range and pining for the man of his dreams? Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Robin Hood had a thing for Little John, forget Maid Marion. Again, music for that era and my twist added. I liked music with energy. My music had that. I worked on songs to add. Using other people’s music was tricky. You had copyrights to deal with, so most the music was mine. I was trying to come up with other themes I could do and then come up with songs that can go with those themes. Permissions were given by some and I did share credit and the portion of the profits when I used the song and made money off of their music. I would expect the same if they used mine.

I was startled when my phone rang and it was Mark. “Hey, Mark.” I greeted him.

“Sorry to call at this time…” Mark said quickly. “I know you’re preparing for upcoming shows about this time of day, but I’ve been in negotiation for using the songs of others and well…I have someone that will give permission, but he wants to talk to you first.”

I sat up puzzled. “Okay. Do I need to come there or…”

“No, I have him on the line now,” Mark said simply. “Say hello and I’ll just butt out of the call.”

“Okay,” I replied. “This Eric Richards, to whom am I speaking with?”

“This is Ray Boltz.” A man said and as many times as I listened to his songs and tried to sing them myself…the interviews I saw and heard, it was him with the voice I knew immediately. He was an inspiration to me.

My heart literally seemed to freeze. “Mr. Boltz! I can’t believe it. I’m really speaking to you!?” I said and didn’t hide the awe in my voice.

There was a chuckle. “Yes, am I really speaking to you? Your agent and my agent were talking about using some of my songs…one in particular, and I sort of used it as a means to speak with you.”

I knew he had retired with his husband and now lived in Florida. I had done concerts in Miami and at Disneyworld. I wished he’d seen them, but dreaded if he did. Would he approve? “Wow. I will say, you were a major part of any singing I have done.” I shook my head. “I tried some of your songs…that one I couldn’t get through. Watch the Lamb? I always break down in tears when I try to sing that one.”

His voice took on a new tone. One of compassion and sincerity. “I had trouble with it myself. I have no problem with you singing Don’t Tell Me Who To Love. I don’t have to tell you about why and all that.”

“No,” I said. “I followed all that. You have a message to send out. That was a very good one.”

“Not everyone thought so,” Ray said not bitter, but a little sad.

“I will honor your song, Mr. Boltz,” I promised him. “I won’t change a thing. It’s powerful enough on its own. Did Mark tell you about the upcoming movie?”

“He did,” Ray replied. “People need to understand…just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I can’t be a Christian.”

“I know,” I said honestly. “It took a while for me to get that.”

Ray laughed. “But you did, and got to it an earlier age than I did. So, you are a Christian.”

“I am,” I said. “The morals that I was raised in were hard to adjust to this life, but I believe. I ask Him all the time if I’m doing the right thing. I even tell Him I don’t know or understand Him.”

“Yes, it is hard, but you’re seeking Him,” Ray admitted. “I divorced my wife of a few decades for the man I love. We weren’t allowed to marry then, but we are now. I have seen you on stage.”

I was a little panicked hearing that. “Were you pleased or upset?”

Ray chuckled. “Why would I not be pleased?” He asked. “You are a performer. You sing and dance. And do those things very well. That’s a gift. I will admit seeing your butt in some of the shows, I don’t think I could do that.”

“You had the beat with the bop of the head in many performances I saw, the dance moves were begging to be let out. Seeing your butt would have been…inappropriate for the audience then. We all have them…you don’t think I should?” I asked a little worried.

“I’m not judging you, Mr. Richards.” Then he sighed and laughed lightly. “Can I call you Eric? I’ll be Ray.”

I smiled as the feeling I got from him. “I’d like that, Ray.” My voice started shaking. “I don’t know how to say this, but…in many ways…and I’m not saying anything, but…your approval means a lot to me.”

I heard him laugh a little more. “You have that, Eric.” Then he said seriously. “You’re getting people to understand us. They will listen to you. It’s a powerful responsibility. You seem to be taking that responsibility responsibly. If my music helps. Do it.”

I felt a tear coming out of my eye. “I know you have a family. I lost my parents when I was just starting out. They didn’t know about me, but…you’re approval makes it so much better. Sort of, like my father’s approval.”

“I appreciate that.” Ray was moved, you heard it in his voice. “You’re doing a good thing, son. The songs I heard are about one person mostly. I saw the Vegas proposal. That’s the one you sang about, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I said. “That’s my Mike.”

“And how can that be wrong?” Ray asked logically. “Are you happy now?”

“Oh, yes.” I nodded. “Aren’t you?”

“I am,” Ray answered. “I feel free like I never did with Carol. It wasn’t her fault; it was mine, but…she really was a trooper when I came out. She is still a friend.”

“I understand,” I said honestly. “I’d love to stay in touch with you.”

Ray chuckled. “I’d love that! I’ll give you my email address and number. You can text me or call any time.”

“I’ll gladly give you mine,” I said shakily getting a piece of paper and pen. “This means a lot to me.”

“I’m not your father, but…you have my approval, Eric. That you feel like I am. I’m honored.”

Now, I was crying. “Thank you, Ray.”

“In fact, if you come to Florida. We’d love to have you and Mike over.” Ray said.

“We’d love to do that!!” I said happily. “And if you’re in Fort Worth or if you want to come to a concert; tell me. You’ll have front row seats!” I hurried on. “I am often giving concerts, but if you come to Texas, Mike and I would love to have you and your husband here. We have a guest room.”

He chuckled. “Frank and I will do that!”

Giving him my number and email address, he gave me his which I wrote down and confirmed it before I hung up. I even programmed it in immediately and sent a test message that said. “Pinch me. I’m dreaming. Eric.” It was only a few minutes later when I read. “I’m pinching. It’s not a dream. Ray.” When I got that I stood up and let out a yelp! He was a friend now!!

I was so excited, forget the prepping for upcoming concerts. I went down and made dinner. I can cook. When Mike came in with a sigh from his day he looked at me and sniffed.

“That smells good,” Mike said greeting me with a kiss.

“Tex-Mex,” I said smiling. “You loved my chicken enchiladas.”

“I do.” He nodded and then he moved back a few inches grinning. “Okay, what happened? You’re very happy.”

I nodded. “I am!” I pulled my phone out and showed him my list of contacts and clicked on the name. “I spoke with him today and I have his address and email. He and I are becoming friends! Friends!!!” I tapped him lightly on the chest.

Mike looked at the phone and then grinned at me. “Ray Boltz called you?”

I nodded. “Through Mark, but yes. I even emailed him and he replied!”

Mike nodded smiling more. “I see.”

“He’s like a father figure,” I explained excitedly. “He gave me his approval. He even invited us to his and Frank’s home!”

Mike chuckled. “Should I worry about this?” He wasn’t worried about it, it was more kidding me.

I hugged him. “Absolutely not,” I assured. “He’s happily married. I will be soon.” Then I grinned. “If I’d met him before I knew you…perhaps. He’s a good looking man, but Franco Sperduti was his talent agent and I don’t need to ask about any sparks between them before Ray came out. By the time I was of age, he was with Franco already.”

Mike chuckled kissing me. “Ray is it now?” He hugged me. “I’m happy for you. Really.”

“And…” I was going with a thought I’d been having since I talked to Ray. “Can we get married sooner?”

Mike looked startled. “Sooner? When?”

“Now.” I hurried on to explain. “Ray had to live with his partner before because it wasn’t legal to marry. It is now. I’ll feel better if we do it soon. Legally.”

“The guys expect a wedding,” Mike said.

I nodded. “And we’ll give them one off the charts…it will just be after we’re married.”

“Okay.” Mike smiled at me. “You don’t like living in sin.” He chuckled.

“Do you?” I asked. “We can be married tomorrow! Paperwork and all that will take a little longer, but we can get married right here. I know Della will witness and even Mark. We will have to invite Hap and Barry. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, but…what do you think?”

Mike hugged me tightly. “I’d love to be your husband. We have to tell Chet.”

“We’ll tell him tonight.” I was feeling a lot of things coming to completion in our lives. “I’ll make arrangements tomorrow morning.”

When Chet came home from Dilworth, his reaction coming in the house was like his father’s. He sniffed and put his book bag down and looked at the two of us.

“Something smells good,” Chet commented casually but was looking at us suspiciously. Sheltered? Oh, yes, but he was very perceptive. “Something is up.” Chet frowned putting his book bag down.

Mike chuckled. “We were going to tell you at dinner.”

“Which won’t be for an hour,” I added and looked at Mike. “Why wait?”

Mike shrugged. “You know Eric and I are getting married.”

Chet nodded. “Yea.” He said, but his tone was waiting for the next part.

“We’re keeping it secret for now, but…we want to do it real soon,” Mike said and looked at me. “We can do it Saturday.”

“If we get the license and people in place, sure.” I shrugged. “If I get the license tomorrow, we could. The wait time is three days here.”

“Why three days?” Mike asked.

“You could get it annulled!” I said quickly.

“Right.” Mike chuckled. “Or you could.”

I tapped his chest. “That means you and I need to go and get one tomorrow!”

“We need something else.” Mike pointed out. “A minister or justice of the peace.”

“Barry Windam,” I said simply. “Hap Lawson’s big husband? That’s a major reason I said we should invite them.”

“He’s a justice of the peace?” Mike asked.

“No, he’s an ordained minister.” I chuckled seeing Mike’s confused face. “He’s a bi-vocational minister of an independent church for gay men. He’s done weddings before. It will be legal.”

Mike grinned. “That big cowboy/lawyer is a minister?” He shrugged. “Okay, but will he do it Saturday?”

“I’ll find out. I’ll call them tonight.” I chuckled and looked at Chet. “What do you think?”

Chet shrugged. “Okay.” He reached down and got his book bag. “Call me when supper’s ready.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Mike said. “Uncle Mark will know. Della and maybe two or three others. You can’t tell Chase unless he promises not to tell anyone.”

“Okay,” Chet said simply and walked up the stairs.

“Well, he’s not excited.” Mike jutted his head after his son and grinned at me bringing me in for a kiss. “But I am.”

“Chet may not fully understand what it means yet.” I offered.

“We do,” Mike said kissing my neck.

I loved how he felt in my arms. I was not letting him go.

Mike was sitting beside me when I called Hap and Barry. It didn’t take too long before Hap answered.

“Eric!” Hap said happily having seen my name on his caller ID. “To what do we owe this pleasure?”

“I’m calling to ask what you and Barry have planned this coming Saturday.”

“Nothing much,” Hap said and then added. “Why?”

“I was wondering if you and your husband can come to a wedding,” I asked. “I wondered if Barry would do it.”

“Who’s wedding?” Hap asked a little excited and I heard the almost whisper of Barry asking who’s wedding, I didn’t have to see Hap wave his husband down, but the way he asked the why he suspected and wanted to be sure.

“Mike’s and my wedding,” I said.

I swear, he let this “ye haw!”, but did it with his mouth away from the phone, but I knew Mike heard it plainly as his eyes rolled. I heard him shout to his husband. “Get your parson’s robe cleaned, Eric and Mike are gettin’ hitched!” I heard the distant yelp as Barry did the same thing. “We’ll be there!” Hap swore. “Where’s there?”

“My house,” I said laughing. “Now, this is just to cover us legally. We don’t want this out.”

“You’re getting married!?” Barry said suddenly as he must have grabbed an extension.

I said the same thing to him. “We’ll be having another wedding for everyone else at a later date,” I explained to them. “We just want to marry sooner.”

“Man,” Barry said happily, “this will be hard to keep quiet, but no one will know from us.”

“This is such good news, Eric!” Hap added.

“If this doesn’t inspire a song in you, nothing will,” Barry swore and then he got serious. “I’m so happy for you two.”

“It’s about time,” Hap added.

“I couldn’t agree more.” I looked at Mike. “Mine at last,” I said kissing Mike tenderly.