Our Christmas Songbook - 9. He Sings a Love Song (Nine ladies dancing)

Alan took a sip of coffee as he waited at their usual table at Ori’s coffee shop slash greasy spoon slash bar and immediately flinched. Cold. Gross! Who would arrive first? Irritated with himself, he pushed his plate away. His stomach was tied in knots. The door opened with a jingle and at least that question was answered, when a tall red-haired guy sashayed over. Ray. Of course.

His friend threw himself in one of the empty chairs. Then he leaned over the table, snatched the untouched wrap, and took a huge bite out of it. “You’re not eating this, right?” he asked with his mouth full of avocado, mozzarella, and pesto. After he swallowed, thankfully, he looked expectantly at Alan. ”Dish!”

Alan squirmed in his seat. “Let’s wait for the others, okay?”

Ray shrugged, eying Alan’s coffee next. As if she materialized out of thin air, Ori stood beside their table with the coffee pot in her hand. “More?” Then she turned to Ray. “Do you plan on ordering your own food any time today or do you just going to steal Alan’s?”

“Uhh, sassy.” Ray fanned himself exaggeratedly. Ori huffed and stomped away.

“Do you think the rumors are true?” Ray leaned closer to Alan.

“What rumors?”

Ray came even closer. “That Ori was a famous queen back in the day, but when she came out as trans she got so much shade thrown at her she quit?”

Alan squinted at the tiny woman puttering around behind the counter. ”So what? Ori accepts us, lets us alienate her customers every night after we need to come down after performing at B&B’s without blinking an eye. That’s what counts in my book.”

“Sheesh. I was just repeating rumors.” Ray rolled his eyes.

“Well, don’t. If it’s true, which is none of our concern, she doesn’t need you bringing this shit to her business.”

Ray easily managed to pout and devour the rest of Alan’s wrap at the same time.

Akeno was second immediately followed by Charlie. He wore his trademark everyday outfit of loose-fitting black silk pants and a monochromatic blouse. Today it was white with ruffles. He pulled a chair out and sat down with an exaggerated sigh. ”My shoes are killing me.” He lifted his left leg and presented a golden heel. ”But aren’t they pretty?”

Ray plucked at Charlie’s pants. “What are you wearing? Pajamas?” Charlie ripped his leg away and screeched. “This is the new loungewear line from DC Nomad, you heathen!”

“DC No one you mean.”

Charlie threw his hair back, then flapped his hand in dismissal. “You have to have the face for wearing his stuff.”

“Exactly.” Ray looked smug.

“Why are you always so mean to me?” Charlie’s chin trembled.

“Because I can?” Ray looked in the round. “You always act so beautifully woebegone.”

“Ass!”

In the meantime, Alex and Petey had added their chairs to the round. Alex grinned. “I see you started without us. What’s the tea?”

Petey passed Charlie a napkin. ”For your crocodile tears, hunty.”

Suddenly a gigantic golden shoe landed on the table with a loud bang.

Everyone fell silent. Akeno glared. ”We’re here because Alan asked for our help, and all you are doing is squabbling and bitchin’. ”

“Is this about your new man, Al?” Petey asked.

“Yes.” Alex bent forward. “Does he hate Blanka?”

Ray jumped from his chair. ”He hates Blanka? I will skin the jackass alive. Blanka is wonderful. Perfect.”

“Do you need us to pay him a visit?” Alex seemed ready to let his fists fly.

“What? No. Dae is perfect.” Alan smiled.

Akeno lifted his shoe, threatening to bang it on the table again. “Would you let him speak?” He touched his arm. “What can we do Alan?”

“Um… Do you know the song, The Twelve Days of Christmas?

“The Muppet song ?” Petey scrunched his forehead and hummed before he sang, “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.”

Charlie perked up. “Oh, yes I remember! On the second day… what was that? A cow?”

“Two turtle doves, you moron.” Alex rolled his eyes.

Akeno knocked on the table. “Some of us seem to know some parts, others seem to take creative liberties. To hide their ignorance.” He looked at Charlie, who giggled. “I happen to like cows.”

Alex turned to Alan. “Ignore the idiots. What did you have in mind?”

“There is that part where nine ladies are dancing—”

“Gotcha! Nine queens!” Ray looked in the round. “But we are only seven.”

“Let that be my problem. I know just the two ladies.” Akeno winked. “And which song will you sing?”

Alan got his phone out and showed them a video. Annie Lennox sang Winter Wonderland. “The song is perfect for Blanka.” Akeno clapped his hands. “She will be the perfect Annie. You even have similar voices.”

Alan bit his bottom lip. ”You think?”

“We totally need an emcee!” Petey looked at the others. “Right?”

“I’ll ask Mario.” Alex got his phone out.

Akeno hugged Alan. “Rehearsals every day after the show, till Friday.”

On Christmas Eve, one emcee in a tux and top hat, as well as nine queens in full regalia, filed into the elevator of an apartment building north of the city proper. They rode up to the ninth floor and waited in the foyer, chittering excitedly. Mario knocked on apartment number nine.

A man wearing the ugliest sweater ever opened the door. Mario’s eyes widened. For a very short moment, he was without words. The man looked down at himself self-consciously. ”Too much?”

Mario shook his head. “No, it’s perfect.” He squeezed his eyelids shut.

“Wait? Aren’t you one of the emcees at B&B’s?” The man involuntarily took a step forward.

“You know B&B’s?” Mario looked over his shoulder at the nine ladies, clad glamorously in black. One in silver lamé.

“Oh yes! I mean— I haven’t been there for a while, but—” He sounded like a fan.

“Are you Dae?”

“I am.”

“Then you will absolutely love your surprise!” Mario enthused. “Follow me! Follow me!”

“What? Where are we going? I can’t. I’m expecting my— a visitor.”

“Only for a short time.” Mario winked and waved with his hands to follow him. ”Come on.”

When Dae entered the foyer, his eyes widened. ”Val Can!” He looked from one queen to another. “Evie Electric. Oh my God! And Sasha Ryde.”

Mario clapped his hands. “Everyone! Here is Dae from apartment number nine on the ninth floor, wearing the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen, ready to meet nine ladies dancing!” He pointed at them. “And he knows aaalll your names!“ They immediately clapped and cheered. Then Mario turned to the beaming Dae. “But do you know Blanka Blankenese?”

Dae shook his head. “No, but I’ve heard fantastic things. She’s very beautiful and has a wonderful voice.”

“That’s her! And I know you will be happy to hear that the fantastic, fabulous, hot Blanka Blankenese came to you to sing Winter Wonderland only for you, accompanied by eight of B&B’s fiercest ladies.”

Right on cue, the queens took a half step back except for Blanka, who emerged from behind them, wearing a long, slim, gleaming silver lamé dress.

“Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?” She looked into Dae’s eyes.

“In the lane, snow is glistening

A beautiful sight

We're happy tonight

Walking in a winter wonderland”

...

Blanka bowed, turned around, and pointed at each of her friends, and stretched her arms out as if she wanted to embrace each of them.

“Alan? Is that you?” Dae stood directly in front of Blanka.

Mario clapped again and herded everyone back to the elevator. “That’s our cue. Back to Ori’s. Alan is buying.”

“Aw....”

“Everyone! You too, Ray.”

And nine ladies filed back in the elevator and had nine cocktails or a few more.

“You look so beautiful.” Dae lifted himself on his tiptoes and pressed a ginger kiss on Blanka/Alan’s cheek. “Let’s celebrate Christmas.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoraVkKtKzYtake