Entry posted by Andrew Q Gordon
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Yes I know it's been a bit since I last updated this - much of the good times, happy feelings were tested by the surrogate and her immaturity. I've come to the conclusion it is really just a 'it's not my money' kinda thing. She just sees us as having an endless stream of money and if she does something that causes us to have to pay more - it's no big deal.
So updates-
1) Still not insured - but she will be on June 1 - cost to insure - $260 a month with a $1500 deductible - for those of you outside the US, that means the first $1500 in medical bills comes out of our pocket. But if when she goes to the hospital or if she has a serious complication, it's covered - whew.
2) We are back to speaking terms with the surrogate. There are still issues but we'll figure it out.
3) It's a girl!!! The name isn't a secret but I'd prefer not to post it on line where it can be found by anyone - just a bit of caution is called for.
So for a few details -
The insurance debacle: As I said in the last post, she was getting paid in cash to avoid taxes and her lack of documented income caused her to be rejected. She of course blames the lawyer and I nearly bit my tongue in half to stop for telling her that it was really her illegal activity that created the problem. I let the agency deal with it.
Then she needed to get the forms in - she did it a day late and didn't qualify to be insured in May. THis was really an issue for me because we were telling her almost every day she HAD to submit the forms. She had one excuse after another. Finally I told her I was suspending all payments to her because her failure to do what was required to get insured constituted a breach of contract and we would not be reimbursing her for the costs - she got it in, but it was late 
Because she was late, I ended up flying out to California this week to go with her to the doctor to arrange payment. She needs pre-natal and this was the only way I could insure she went. She does not have a credit card and they required payment at the time of service. I wanted to be certain she went and had no excuse for not going - i.e. she didn't have the money to pay them.
When to California - it is called the "Inland Empire." Those from California know what that is. To it looked like one great big sprawl. Lotsa flat surrounded by mountains. Somewhat cool to look at if you avoided the endless rows of houses and buildings. Nothing of note to do really. Then again it was only a day and half there with half of Wednesday taken up by the doctor appointment and spending time with the surrogate.
She is really quite nice in person. We get along well, so long as I ignore the fact she is needlessly costing us money. But on June 1 that is over so it's behind us.
I feel a bit bad for here - but only a tiny bit. She quit her job - yeah the under the table one that caused us to NOT get insurance. Reason ? She was a customer service telephone support person. They asked her to may 5 hours a week of cold calls to businesses in their industry to drum up business. She - who has high school diploma didn't agree with this approach to the business and told her bosses that. She didn't want to be a telemarketer/phone sales person so she quit. Why work when Andy and Mike are sending her money every month.
Thus far she has - used the first two months to pay back her grandparents, take her dead beat dad to a car race, gone to a three day music festival, and saved $100 Next she plans to use the money to pay her rent, and 'save for a car' By the end of this she'll have no money and no job. But hopefully a car with which to get a job. Hopefully.
She was feeling us out about a second child already - no kidding right? She needs another $25K to do what she was planning to do with this money. Sigh. 
Maybe being out of, with a car and a few dollars in her pocket will help her start over - and maybe if we do a second - that is the hope/plan right now - she'll use the money to better herself.
So on to the part where everyone gets mad at me. I was kinda disappointed we are having a girl - I really was hoping for a son. Oh well, got over it and moved on but not before my mom bitched me out.
I get the whole - so long as it's happy and healthy and I should be happy etc, but we knew all that for the last 4 months. this was not - is she pregnant - is the baby doing well etc - [it is] this was the what sex is it. Now, unlike my mom who was bitchy - she wanted a granddaughter so i guess I rained on her parade, Mike - sage old man that he is - pointed out that, a) of all my nieces and nephews, my niece is the one I am hands down closest with and b ) I can do everything with a daughter I would do with a son. I suppose I knew that all along but he must have been ready for this because he sat me down, and got me over it.
B-[birth] minus 20 weeks and counting down. 
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