Whatever you do, the best of luck. The only "adult" that I'm out to is a former science teacher. They seem to be the best to come out to, more rational than the rest.

I told her in an e-mail after she'd moved 2,000 miles away though lol. Whatever you do, just think through the repercussions and decide if you're ready for it. For me, it helps to know that there's somebody I can fall back on even if I have to ride a greyhound bus to seattle...

//shadows

Best of luck!

Take your time, and come out when you're ready. Mrs. G may take it well, and she might even keep your secret, but there's no guarantee of either. People don't always take it so well, and once you tell anyone else, you have no control over the information any more. If you know you can tell earlier, that's great, but there's also nothing wrong with waiting until you're out of the house and financially independent. Then there will be fewer material ways by which people can hurt you.

Hey Ron,

I'd say it's a very complicated situation. Mrs.G could definitely be the source of alot of support, but then I guess there is some risk involved too. Overall are you able to determine her level of acceptance and general attitude towards homosexuality? Maybe you could kinda "feel her out" first.

Also libbonobo makes a very good point. There is alot to be said for waiting until you're out of the house and financially independent. I guess it all depends on what kind of reaction you can expect, and how much you "need" to come out. Personally speaking I was fine not telling my mom until I was out of the house and on my own. Even though I never expected a bad reaction anyway (and didn't get one ), I never really felt I "needed" to tell her before that. Anyway I'm sure I would have been fine doing it before I moved out (who knows may have even had some pluses), but I have a friend who's life isn't going so well right now, and while his close friends were extremely supportive of him; his parents (particularly his step-dad) freaked out and didn't (IMO) do right by him at all. And I personally feel that alot of the mess he's in now is a result of that, he'd definitely have been a 1000% better off waiting...of course none of that matters unless you think Mrs.G would tell your folks anyway, and of course you now your situation better than anyone else, and would be the best judge of it.

Whatever you decide keep us posted and know that we're here for you. Have a Merry Christmas!

Kevin

Hi,

Take your time, find your comfort level and do what you know will keep you safe. If you can trust Mrs. G (like she isn't some evangelical type that believes we Gays are going to hell, etc.) and maybe in general conversation she throws you some hints like she knows her nephew or friend's son is Gay and isn't it wonderful that in this day and age he can be free to be himself and there is nothing wrong with being Gay, etc...)

and she smiles toward you. then maybe then and only then (hey you can just smile back)

do what keeps you safe and doing ok day to day....

I was reading one of the blogs here and I got upset by a comment (and I read the person's screen name you know to see if they are Gay or str8 or bi) and the person made a mocking comment about Gays and I got so upset....I replied in the blog but wanted to scream that such self loathing and mocking is horrible...so even in our community there can be insensitive people...)

Just be careful....we care about you and don't want harm to come to you. I have to agree with Kevin and Lib, it is easier when you are financially independent and on your own and when no one can do you harm, hurt you physically or throw you out of your home (I had 2 sisters thrown out and they weren't even Gay...in my household being Gay wasn't acceptable....geez, my family still has issues with me being Gay..it took my BFF, and she knows my family well, to tell me I could have brought home a wife and they would still find fault so go live your life and be happy..but I was well into adulthood when she told me:) I remember when I told my Dad he said he always knew, he loved me and just be happy....not so much acceptance from the rest of the family. BTW, I was well into my 30s...so not as if I was a teen but I grew up in different times and those of us who were at the start of the Gay Revolution faced different issues but Coming Out should be on your terms and when you are ready:)

Funny thing is a teenager, and as a boy I always knew I was Gay and was mocked for it in my small town and called the "F" and "Q" word more then I care to remember...I remember years later learning the Jocks who turned out to be Gay and a mutual friend and I talked about how we were both teased, gotten our share of mocking, punches etc (he is Gay too) in the locker room and outside of it from the Jocks (the very ones who ended up being Gay..one was our Class President, he was well known and he would taunt/beat up on us and secretly try to hit on Guys then threaten them after he had sex with them, taunting them in front of others and/or beating on them...I lived a few minutes from NYC in NJ but it was a zillion light years away..small town America can be cruel....those are memories that still haunt me..don't judge life today from those Dark Ages but in many parts of the world it still is the Dark Ages (now, New Jersey has come a long long way with many progressive laws..even laws to protect Gay high school students but it still happens...indeed "In the Life" on PBS ran a story about such a teen and the hell he went through in his local high school here..from teachers and students.....)

I have learned family still always seems the last to know..go figure!

So, don't go by our experiences...Kevin had a recently good one with his Mom (read his blog) but as he said he is on his own....

Just be careful...yeah, I know Mother Michael worries too much and I do....we all need our zone of safety...

so take your time and Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!! Just remember Xander you are an amazing Gu and you do what you feel best doing....life will happen for you..you already mentioned you have cool Gay guys in the neighborhood. I am so hoping you reach out to them...Having a network to call upon of Gay friends that you can trust really helps....

Good Luck and we are always here for you:)

Michael