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More about a transformation

Mark92

Entry posted by Mark92

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Well! only me! :) Its about progress and moving forward.

I am a different man now to what I was when I joined back in April. There have been many ups and downs, there still are but they are made better in minutes by my Stuby. :wub:

October is a bad month for me, and the end of it especially, not only my abuser dieing but also that she was buried. And along with all the flash backs and the bad stuff bubbling up.Is relief thats its over and she has gone.

I still have issues and hang-ups but they are less hang-ups and more hiccups.

I'm at the gate, the barrier that has stopped me leaving for nearly a year. And I will get across it. But as a man with my head held high and then its none stop to Kidderminster or Reading I dont really care, if it's another planet i'll get there.

My Stuby makes me feel like a beautiful man, and hell yeah I am! Cos he says so.

Cheesy or not sickly sweet or not, he is my life, my world, my everything. And without him life wouldnt be worth living.

Yeah I still have a lot to overcome, that should be "we" cos he's with me every step of the way and I am with him.I have promised to tell him every day, how much I love adore and worship him and I will. Stuart I love you :wub: Stuby is my rock, my soother when i'm upset, my hero when I need one and the perfect lover too. I'll let your minds loose with that one :wink:

I know most of you have seen his updated pics yeah fwwaarrr cooor drop dead gorgeous I know. Doing those pics and posting them was a huge step up for Stuby. He says I am responsible for that well Thankyou my darling because you have paid me back so many times over. By being there for me, by loving me, sharing your family with me.And most of all for making me feel special, worth something, alive and loved. Thankyou my sweetheart Stuart :wub::hug:

Oh the farm is doing great too LOL between 16-24 piglets on the 6th November and the same the week after. And also my farmhand Luke has joined here. Its for him to tell you why not me. so Here's Marky signing off, many thanks for your kindness and support and for being my extended family. Huge group hug :hug:

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Marzipan

Marzipan 963

Posted

:D Very good news! I'm happy to get updates on how you are doing! I am so looking forward on seeing a picture of you and Stu together... ;)

 

You corrupted ur farmhand :P !!! O.o Poor Lukey :D , he doesn't know what hit him soon **snoops her little black book for...***

  • Like 1
Mark92

Mark92 1,347

Posted

Hahahaha thankyou Marzi I always forget how naughty you are sometimes,

but never how wonderful and kind and caring you are, sexy as hell too :wink:

Lukey was already as bent as a banana so dont blame me LOL

Love you girl, always will :hug::wub:

Agaith

Agaith 712

Posted

Awww my man I love you to bits and you are my rock too and yes I am defo with you every step of the way baby :) I will be with you as much as I can be in October and every other day of my life too :hug: I love you baby, my hero :):wub::hug:

  • Like 1
Mark92

Mark92 1,347

Posted

Thank you baby :):hug: Awwww man i'm all choked up now lol I know i'm a silly pudden :blush: I love you too :wub::hug:

Bleu

Bleu 535

Posted

You're giving us all a lesson in courage and fortitude, Mark. Be proud of yourself and of your achievements over the past six months. Just imagine where you will be in another six months from now. :)

I know you won't forget where that new-found strength comes from. Treasure it ;)

  • Like 1
Nephylim

Nephylim 14,881

Posted

True courage does not lie in being unafraid. It lies in being terribly afraid and facing up to that fear. You are a truly courageous man and to me you are a hero.

 

The first thing I thought after seeing that photo of Stu (well after Pheeeew) was... From that look on his face I BET he's speaking to Mark because that is the most lovesick look I have ever seen and that love in his eyes makes him beautiful.

 

I truly love you both. You are an inspiration.

  • Like 1
paya

paya 470

Posted

Awww what a great blog post! :) I'm really glad you're feeling better and better! Can't wait meeting you when I'm in the UK! ;) I'm so happy for both of you! :D

Mark92

Mark92 1,347

Posted

Awwww Nephy I'm so choked at that awww man. We both love you dearly and often talk about you (always nice things, sometimes naughty LOL)

You're a rock Nephy someone we can cry too and lean on but your also inspiring and so brave, A beautiful person inside and out and, you even have the balls to have two gay men come for advice on the naughty nature. whistle.gif

Me and my Stuby love you to bits wub.pnghug.gif

Mark92

Mark92 1,347

Posted

Many many thanks Paya, :)

Stuby said to me last night, that me and him are like you and Westie in that we "fit together" We were meant to be.

Our motto is "Forever and Always" :hug:

JamesSavik

JamesSavik 24,812

Posted

I've got a lot of respect for you Mark. You've grown a whole lot in a very short time. You handle reality better than most 30-40 year olds that I know.

 

 

JS

  • Like 2
Johnathan Colourfield

Johnathan Colourfield 546

Posted

mark you know how proud I am of ya :)

 

Several steps taken and only a few more to go :) Embrace it :D

  • Like 1
Mark92

Mark92 1,347

Posted

Hi and thank you, It really is heart warming to have so much positive support and I really am grateful :). My one goal is to see my Stuby and I will do it LOL :hug: Thanks again

 

 

 

I've got a lot of respect for you Mark. You've grown a whole lot in a very short time. You handle reality better than most 30-40 year olds that I know. JS

Mark92

Mark92 1,347

Posted

Hey and Thanks John, I've been so humbled by all the support. So a big hug and thanks hug.gif

 

 

 

mark you know how proud I am of ya smile.png Several steps taken and only a few more to go smile.png Embrace it biggrin.png

FSELL

FSELL 3,572

Posted

Wow, what a post.. you’re more mature and I touch than a lot of the 30/40yo I work with. Good on you, life is a journey, take timeout to enjoy the ride. John.

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