I find it frustrating that every time I talk to people, they all give me the same, yet different advice. Let's look at love and relationships.
Hypothetical situation: You're in love with someone, but they're in love with someone else. If you ask someone for advice, you'll get one of two things:
1) Fight for what you believe in. If you love this person, let them know it. Show them that you care for them. Profess your love for them and maybe they'll feel the same way. Even if they don't, at least you'll know so you can move on.
2) They're in love with someone else. They're happy. If you really love them, you'll let them be happy with who they're with. If it was meant to be, then it will happen, but nothing good can come from sharing your love when they're in another happy relationship.
Pardon my language, but WHAT THE FUCK!? Both of these sound like legitimate responses to the situation. They're both logical, yet say to do the exact opposite. How are we supposed to determine which advice to follow? Personally I've both given and received both of these. I didn't realize it before, but I do now. I realize that when someone comes to me with this situation, I don't just randomly pick one of the two to go with. I ask myself the same question. If I'm going through something similar, I tell them what I want to do in my situation. Which doesn't help them at all. What if I give them the wrong advice? What if I tell them to let the person be happy because that's what I'm going to do, when in reality, the person they're interested in is actually in love with them as well and was just waiting for them to say something? Does that make me a bad person?
On the other hand, when I've received this information, it doesn't matter what the other person said. I've already made up my mind. If they tell me to move on, I counter with something that proves this person loves me back and that I should do it. They eventually agree and I take the advice that I gave myself in the beginning. Obviously I'm still single so this hasn't worked to my advantage yet, but that's besides the point.
The point is... does it really matter what advice we give people? Do they actually listen to what we say, or are they just looking for someone to justify the decision that they've already made in their head. I'm not talking about minor decisions of where to eat or what movie to see. I'm speaking larger, life altering decisions. Why do we ask others for advice? They can't possibly understand the situation that we're in. Everyone has a different life with different experiences. Wouldn't we be better of just shaking a Magic 8 Ball? If it doesn't land on the answer we want, we decide that was a practice shake and try again until we get the answer we want. Is that not what we do with our best friends when we ask for advice?
Not to say that I haven't learned anything from asking for advice. Many friends have taught me things, pointed things out that I didn't realize until a third party mentioned it, or changed my mind on what to do in a situation. But the truth is, 87.39% of the time, I've already made up my mind and just need that little push from a friend to jump over the edge. But why? Why torment not only ourselves, but our friends? When you're the friend that's giving advice, there's a lot of pressure on you. If you tell them what they want to hear, and it backfires in their face, should you feel guilty? They were the ones that decided what to do. You just told them what they wanted to hear. They had made up their mind, but wanted someone else to tell them it was ok.
But of course, there is a third option. The option that we all take every now and then when we want to give a friend advice they don't want to hear. When they've clearly made up their mind and are looking for you to confirm, when in your head you're screaming at them for being an idiot.
3) Follow your heart. Do what's right.
When I hear these words, my mind immediately invalidates anything you've said or will say in that conversation. You're saying absolutely nothing. The Magic 8 Ball gives a better fucking answer than you. At least with the ball I can shake it over and over and not feel bad. You, on the other hand, are too scared to tell me, your friend, what you really believe. But at the same time, it's the right advice. It's the only advice that makes sense. That's the same advice number one and two are giving, but they're just spelling it out. So why do I get more pissed when someone tells me exactly what I want to hear (#3) than when someone gives me an answer that they're applying to their own life instead of mine (#1&2).
If, by chance, anyone is able to comprehend the thought process behind this drunken rambling, please feel free to leave a comment explaining it to sober Joe. Unless you tell me to follow my heart and do what's right. Then you're just an asshat.