As you may or may not know I've been absent from GA for a bit and recently came back and not only re-connected with people but am making new friends in the process.

Awhile back I was working as a youth support specialist for at risk (read really really super bad) youth. At first the job was good and I was able to work with some but as time went on, the general trend of the kids changed. About a year into the job I was involved in what we call an intervention where we have to basically get an out of control kid back under control using Safe Crisis Management Techniques (basically different holds we were taught by an instructor to prevent a child from hurting themselves) where I was injured pretty bad. The kid that was out of control managed to get me off balance and threw me back into a metal water main where it messed up my back pretty bad. Fast forward four months and I was back on the job but was assigned to a different unit.

This unit consisted of shelter kids, the type that run away or were picked up by the police. Needless to say it was different then the type of kids that I worked with and unfortunately let my guard down. There was a kid who was picked up by the police and dropped off with us and that's where things went bad. The kid was quiet and followed our instructions until the time it came for us to search his belonging for contraband. At I was about to the kid pulled a knife on me and told me to get away from him. He slashed it at me a few times before I managed to knock it from his hand and get him restrained using a physical intervention.

After that I started to have severe panic attacks, depression and flashbacks so I went to see a counselor about it where I was diagnosed with PTSD. For those who don't know what PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is, it's a condition brought about by a traumatic event and can change you in ways that you wouldn't imagine. For me I get flashbacks if I'm in a certain type of area, I hear radio chatter on a walkie talkie, someone comes up from behind me and surprises me and other things. These flashbacks always make me see and hear things that happened at the youth detention center. Other times it sends me into a major panic attack that can sometimes require medical intervention. The other symptoms that's happened is that I hate being in crowds unless I have someone I know and trust with me, I can't be in a locked building unless I know I can get out because I have a key or something like that. The worst of it is I have a hard time meeting new people face to face because I don't know if they're dangerous or not.

Even with all of that I still am the same person I've always been; sarcastic, funny, intelligent and willing to help someone in need. I came back to GA mainly because I missed interacting with the people here and learning from everyone no matter where in the world they are. I find it relaxing and well... therapeutic in a sense but most of all fun.

So now you know why I vanished for a bit and came back. If you ever want to ask questions or anything let me know I'm always willing to talk and provide people with insight with a personal PTSD and anxiety.

Cheers!