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Our lives have slowly changed

Not for the better I’m afraid

I have to be your man again

Will be

The one you deserve and desire

So things will change

Of that be sure

You will be mine again, boy


Interesting session with a psychologist who is a counsellor to those of us in BDSM or D/s lifestyle, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Dr. R greeted us both, we sat, and he sat within a small grouping of chairs.


He largely ignored tim at first, after asking him to sit. Then he asked me why we were there and I explained what had been happening in our lives, that we seemed to be drifting and that I felt I was the not dominant man that tim expected and deserved. 


So he asked, are you D/s and want to stay that way, D/s and want out, or Vanilla and want in? I said the first, Dr. R then looked at tim and asked him. tim replied the same way as I had.


 Then still gazing at tim, he said, “if you went into another lifestyle home and were asked to sit, where would you be now, boy?”


tim pointed to the floor, next to me. The doctor continued, “Would you be more comfortable there knowing what I am and your husband is?”


“Yes, Sir.”


“Go then, boy.” Dr. R watched as tim settled on the floor, leaning against my leg. “Don’t think you are not respected though or that your feelings and opinion’s don’t matter.”


“No, Sir.”


“Good. Then let’s begin.”


It wasn’t all pleasant but not meant to be I suppose.  Tim related his trust issues, and how he’s unsure of what love means, though he says it often.  I spoke of the recent past and how it had affected me and also my diabetes diagnosis.  Together these things had rocked my world, but not in a good way.


At the end of the session Dr. R said, you know the pieces of this puzzle all seem to be here. You two just need to start communicating more effectively.  Today Mike you gave tim what he needed some tasks, some framework, which he needs to be a good sub.

He liked our first goal which is for tim to learn he can properly trust me. We still need to define what that looks like, but tim has provided me some ideas.


So the new day begins.



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4 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

Just a reminder to me. Relationships take both Dom and sub giving all. Something I have to improve on. Thank you for sharing this Sir!

Are you all right jp?  Pm if you need me, boy. 

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I think it's so brave of you to share your joint journey. All too often the "lifestyle" is described as so open and shut, as if the Dom always holds all the answers and the sub just follows. Of course, you're human like the rest of us and it takes time to grow as one regardless of "lifestyle". Sounds like you have an excellent opportunity to evolve, both individuals and as a couple. 

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