I hope you all enjoyed the last Improve & Encourage feature, because it's time for another one. These features are meant to both provide feedback to authors and, similar to story reviews, point out stories that readers might not otherwise have found. It's similar to a review, in that the person doing the critique tells you what they liked about the story, but it differs in that they also provide constructive criticism. Each author signed up to participate, and sign up's are still open!  These will post once a month until we no longer have content. Once that happens, I will critique the last author that posted. If you'd like to provide a critique for the blog, sign up in the thread. I'm hoping to have a lot more authors sign up, and just remember, by signing up, you are also volunteering to have your story critiqued and featured.

Puppy Love

Renee Stevens

Critiqued by: Valkerie

Summary:

Blaine and Levi meet under rather embarrassing circumstances.  Blaine has just gone through a bad break-up and is not prepared for the effect Levi has on him.  They are brought together through their mutual concern over a found puppy.  Adversity is nipping at their heels though, and they go through more than their share of trials and tribulations at the hand of Blaine’s ex.

 Strengths:

This story is riveting from the beginning.  It has plenty of action both in and out of the bedroom, and it has a puppy! I love stories that feature animals, and Ruff’s antics throughout the story mesh well with the storyline.  Renee creates relatable characters who provoke a sense of empathy and make the reader root for their success.  I thought the development of Blaine and Levi’s relationship flowed well and developed at a natural pace. 

Renee also develops conflict to drive the story forward and throws several wrenches at the characters just to keep them on their toes.  I binge-read the last several chapters because I simply couldn’t stop reading.  She threw conflict on top of conflict and then added a little bit more.  I had to remind myself to breathe at times, and to slow down so I could process what I was reading!

Weaknesses/Areas of Improvement:

This is one of Renee’s earlier stories, so these comments are not reflective of her current writing skills.  The story needs a good tune-up from an editor, as there are quite a few misused/misspelled words and repeated words, along with the overuse of characters’ names in dialogue.  There are couple of scenes I found implausible,

The other major weakness, IMO, also occurs near the end of the story,

Despite its weaknesses, it’s still a good read that will make you laugh, facepalm, and want to immediately go out and pet a puppy.  lol

What was your favorite part?

It’s hard to pick a favorite part.  I was torn between the beginning and the ending, but I think I’m going to go with Chapter Two when Blaine and Levi first meet.  The interplay between them made me chuckle, and Levi’s tenacity was annoying, but endearing at the same time. 

As he approached, Blaine locked gazes with the man and had to force himself not to turn around and go back into the relative safety of the water.  Reaching his towel and the man standing next to it, Blaine bent over and grabbed up his towel off the ground, all too conscious of the man’s gaze.   Blaine quickly secured the towel around his waist before turning and facing the guy standing next to him.  The guy who had intruded on his peace and quiet.

“Can I help you?” Blaine asked, his tone stating that he was not happy at being disturbed.

“Nah, was just out wandering.”

“And you just happened to end up here, huh?  Okay, sure, sorry if I find that a bit hard to believe.”

“Skeptical, that's nice to know.  Name’s Levi,” the man said holding out a hand.

“Blaine,” Blaine answered, reluctantly grasping the hand that was extended towards him.  At the first touch of Levi’s skin on his own, Blaine felt a warmth creep over his body, causing him to quickly pull away.  “So, what exactly are you doing around here?”

“Like I said, I was just wandering, I’m camped about a mile west of here, just wanted to see what else was around here.”

“A mile huh?  That’s interesting, considering the nearest approved campsite to this place is about two miles away, and that’s where all the tourist crap is.  There’s not a whole lot to see out this way.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that, I think I found something worth exploring.”