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How I Really Feel Right Now

Tiger

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I don't know how long it's been since I've posted a blog here. Last night, I totally freaked out, like completely. I feel like I've wasted years of my life. I feel like nobody really knows me. It makes me feel empty. I need to do something about this, like really do something about this before I just cease to exist. 

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2 minutes ago, CassieQ said:

Hey friend.  What's up?  

 

I have lost 80 pounds since my surgery, but it's still an emotional rollercoaster. I am so isolated. It's depressing, and I really need to connect more with people. I need to be around more people. I feel like I haven't been in contact with anyone in far too long. It hurts me deeply. 

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I'm here if you need someone to talk to.  Other people are too.  :hug::hug:

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2 hours ago, CassieQ said:

I'm here if you need someone to talk to.  Other people are too.  :hug::hug:

 

Thanks. Mental illness has been a struggle for me for over half my life. It's hard to bounce back from it time and time again. I don't know what my mood is going to be from day to day. It's such a difficult battle that I've been fighting for 20 years. 

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I hope you get the help and support you need. I've been in your place and can sympathize with you. I've been fighting Depression and Bipolar for years now.

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Hey, Tiger. I don't pretend to have surefire answers for how you feel. But, I know that no one person does, because we're not supposed to. That's why it's okay, and necessary, to lean on other people... and ask for assistance from those equipped to help. I will suggest that 'this too will pass,' if you give it time and attention, so don't allow yourself to get caught in a trap. It's okay to be down, and to struggle, but recognize it for what it is, and reach out, to people or an organization. You may feel alone, but you are not alone. That is part of the trap. Depression, mental illness, anger, grief, sorrow, loneliness, fear, anxiety... they can all be treated... and defeated. It sounds like you have an idea of what might help... try making a phone call... join a group... open up to someone. In the meantime, I'm here... this whole community is here... and Tiger, you should be proud of what you're accomplishing. :hug: 

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My therapist warned me that surgery wouldn't fix the emotions. I'm roughly 80-90 pounds lighter, but on an emotional level, it's still not easy. I am going through a lot of changes. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. It's scary. It's not easy to prepare. The fat in my face also hid signs of aging, and so my age shows more, at least in my opinion. So, at some point, I really feel like I need to get some professional makeup tips to boost my confidence. 

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You are good looking, because you are you and there's no one else in the whole wide world that's like you. We are all unique and thankfully so. The way we look on the outside is always changing, but the person I have spoken with in the pit shows me you are someone with compassion that cares about people, no matter what they look like or where they are from. That's a good person and that's you. Be proud of who you are.

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