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Uselessness of it all...


GREEN

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:nuke: Chaz and I are not talking right now. We had an argument last night. I had planned this whole romantic day including a limo, a fancy restaurant and a B&B. He never showed up. He never called me and I found him yesterday morning sleeping on my doorstep. He had forgotten his keys and he still didn't think he did anything wrong.

 

I asked him where he was and he told that he went out with some old friends. Which is totally fine with me except when he knows that I had planned something great for him. I feel a little bit rejected and I have been staying at my mothers house.

 

David called me and told me that Chaz keeps asking him to call me because I don't answer his calls. Selene has been threatening murder. I told her to cool it and she said she would but not to ever expect her to treat Chaz the same again. David said that he would talk to him and find out what the deal was.

 

This all has prompted me to write one of the angriest chapters to my story Mr. Black Sings A Sad Song. It is so angry that I have to scrap it, for it would change the story from it's current path. Oh I feel like a bomb ready to explode. I had to tell the Liar to get away from me numerous times so I wouldnt take out my anger on him.

 

He came by earlier. I had my stepfather tell him to leave. I want to be totally calm when I do speak to him. On top of that my friend Jonathan is ignoring me. He's dealing with some personal stuff and just like me he's running. Uhhh I want to fight something right now...

 

GREEN counting to ten but it's not working.

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Chaz and Green,

 

Green, why are you falling into old patterns? You said it yourself..you are RUNNING AWAY from your problems......

 

Grrr...why don't you go see Chaz face to face and talk to him...express your hurt, anger, anxiety, upset and communicte with him. Running to Selene's isn't going to solve your issues.....

 

After you express your feelings face to face Green, then listen to what Chaz has to say to you.

 

You promised yourself and Chaz that you wouldn't run any more..now you are....

 

If I were there I would kick you out of Selene's, drive you over to Chaz and then make sure the two of you stayed put in your home and work it out.....

 

You running is such a huge issue for you and here you are doing it....time to step up and break your very bad and very old habit. It will leave you alone, lonely and bitter and angry.

 

Time to stop running and run toward Chaz and work it out....communicate your anger, upset, concern, etc..face to face and work it out....

 

I am still astounded on how such a brilliant writer who communicates so well in his writings runs from your own personal communictions with the one Man that you love most in the world.

 

And shame on Selene for getting once again in the middle of your issues and problems with Chaz!! She may be your soul mate and friend, but in my humble opinion, she is an enabler and does you no healthy good by allowing you to run away from your problems and then express her opinion on Chaz and to me that is uncalled for..its your relationship with Chaz..not her's..you are his boyfriend..she is not your girlfriend and you are not her boyfriend nor is she Chaz's GF.

 

Forgive me wanting to scream..and you may tell me to get lost and never post here..but I say this in tough love...unless you break your old habits you are going to be doing it again and again in all your relationships.

 

And I hope you don't use your fists...don't express anger with your fists...express your feelings with your words.....and then work it out..listen after you speak and commit to working your issues out with Chaz!

 

I love you both but I want to pick you up Green and drive you to your home, grab you and Chaz and lock you both in a room and say SPEAK and keep you both there until you work your stuff out!!

 

Probably soon to be banned from your blog..but still love you both...Good Luck! get your butt moving Mr. Green to your Man's and your home and grab Chaz, and talk to him face to face! Then let him talk and work it out!!!

 

Michael

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Green!

 

Holy cow! I cannot believe he did that! I feel like going and smacking the poor guy upside the head for you! :angry: I am so sorry! It sounds as if you had an awsome evening planned. I have never had a guy go to the trouble of renting a limo!! for me! What a turd bucket!!! If he forgot his key, why didn't he pound on the door or call to wake you up, instead of sleeping outside??? :blink:

 

I don't know what you do when you need to go vent, but go try something active/solitary so you don't necessarily have to think. Go running, swimming, beat up a punching bag at a gym, draw or write.

 

I asked him where he was and he told that he went out with some old friends. Which is totally fine with me except when he knows that I had planned something great for him. I feel a little bit rejected and I have been staying at my mothers house.

 

I can't believe it...that doesnt' sound like the guy we've been hearing about?!?! Is he ok? I mean has anything big happened in his life recently? It just sounds very uncharacteristic of him. :( I'm glad and very proud of you for not running though. Please keep talking to David and tell Selene while you appreciate her worrying and anger, now's not the time to keep harrasing you...it's just not going to help. I'm also proud of you for realizing and NOT taking out your anger on "The Liar", even though at the time it may have felt good...I'm proud of you for not doing so. Please take care and keep us posted and know that I'm wishing you and, yes even the stinker known as "Chaz" :thumbdown: the best. :hug::hug::hug:

 

 

- Kaiten

 

Edit: I agree with you Michael to an extent. I agree that they both need to talk and communicate...but I really don't think Green is running right now nearly as much as he has in the past. If I were in his shoes I know for d**n sure that I wouldn't feel like talking to my s.o. within a day or two of such a huge f-up b/c I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut and "not nice things" would surely screw things up even more.

 

Saying Chaz A) new that something special was going to occur that night and B] never even called to cancel or say something else came up, I'd say he deserves the silence treatment for a day or two. As it sounds like this is the end of the second day, I would also say that it's time to calm down and bite the bullet by going and talking to Chaz on your own terms (Green) and A) give him chance to explain himself w/o interuption and then B] say your piece while maintaining a calm demeanor. Either way, I'm still very proud of your for not running and panicing as you have in the past.

 

Please try to stay calm and find out why he completely spazzed out...b/c that just doenst' sound like him. Does it??? Is he having troubles with his brother? I don't know, either way another big hug :hug: and good luck!

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Alright guys I am not running from him. i spoke with him yesterday I am just trying to keep my head level. I told him to meet me after class tomorrow. He said that he is sorry. Again I am still very angry and I told him that I don't know how to deal with this right now. He's never made me this angry before this is why I feel like I need to stay away from him. I don't want to say something that I will regret. I already said something that I know hurt him.

 

The problem is that he hurt me this time. I went to a great deal of work to get everything ready for that evening. Not to mention that it cost me almost a month of work to afford it. I can't get my money back either. Luckily the Limo service said that they'd let me take it out on another night. I told Selene that she could have the limo.

 

I am feeling calmer right now. I think I am going to go home tomorrow. David said that Chaz is moping around the house. I feel like no matter what I lose. I don't want this to happen again but if I forgive him what is going to stop him from doing it. I mean every time we try to have a romantic nigth something happens. AHH I just want a night with him and me and nothing to bother us.

 

Maybe I am being selfish here but I never am like that. I am a reasonable guy when it comes to things. All I wanted was for him to show up. He never did be cause his old girlfriend was in town and she got him drunk. So I am going to try to talk to him but I told him that I can't promise that I will forgive him just yet. I need to make sure he wont do this to us again.

 

Whoo that was a mouthful well anyways I will keep you updated.

 

GREEN

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I think you did the right thing by giving yourself time to cool off. Nothing productive ever comes from trying to settle things when you're angry. And things said in anger are much harsher than usual and are hard to take back. Did Chaz disappoint you? Yes. Will he again at some point? Yes. But there are going to be times when you disappoint him. The key to maintaining a relationship is to try not to disappoint each other too often and when it happens to try to forgive and forget. The forgetting is the hard part. That's what you have to work at.

 

As to trying to spend time together, just do it. Don't plan, don't tell others. Just grab him and go for a walk, or lock yourselves in and turn off the phones, or on the spur of the moment go to the movies or window shop. Meet him after class, out of the blue and go get coffee. Some of the best romantic gestures are the little ones. Surprisingly those are the ones that count the most and are remembered.

 

Sharon

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Green and Chaz..

 

Good Luck and listen to what Sharon and Sumbloke said...they said it far better then I ever could!!

 

Remember you are in this for the long haul......and so that's what matters most. Both Sumbloke's and Sjarons' wisdom, to me, are the real keys to happy and sucessful commited relationships....and I believe both Green and Chaz have those ingredients in them to keep their relationship together for a long time.

 

Hugs!

 

Michael

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