Do you know that axiom, "If you love something, sometimes the best thing you can do is let it go."? I've appreciated it but never considered what it means on more than a superficial level.

Well ... that has changed.

I'm in an open relationship with my husband. I'm polyamorous, and he accepts that. He and I have each other, and we each have a boyfriend. My boyfriend is a super sweet, lovely guy named Matthew. We've been together now for about three years.

While camping with Matthew a couple of weeks back, he shared that he had decided to move back to St. Louis, where he had spent most of his adult life.

It felt like I'd been hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer.

Our rural environment has deeply challenged Matthew. He struggles to find work or keep a job, but most importantly, there is a severe lack of robust mental healthcare here. He desperately needs that. I know all of this.

As I sat there, processing what he'd just told me and trying to keep my feelings off my face, I also realized the deeper meaning of that axiom above.

I know what it means now. So I smiled, put my arm around him, and told him that if that's what he needed to do, he should. He asked if I would be all right, and I lied without a split second of hesitation.

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

I've got him till mid-November, then he's gone.

I'll miss him. But ... I love him. So that's how it has to be.