So I'm not unhappy or frustrated or anything. I wouldn't even describe myself as especially stressed or frustrated. Just...emotionally (and slightly physically) exhausted.

Fortunately, things seem to have settled down for me. Unfortunately, they seem to have heated up for most of my friends. Not only am I still trying to be there for Claire, but my other close childhood friend in a lesbian relationship is also having trouble with said lesbian relationship AND going through employment turmoil. The lesbian couple I'm very close friends with that got married and moved last summer, are also going through a lot of life upheaval and stress (their relationship is fine though ). And that's just the girls...

Scott and William are each having separate boyfriend complications (but mostly stuff's working out for them, YAY), and they're moving, and there's some slight tension/misunderstanding between them. Luke's going through MAJOR drama with his dad and his dad's boyfriend, and he's going through a lot of work stress, and generally feeling sad and overwhelmed.

I'm also re-connecting with my ex (on a friendship level), and he's physically sick.

Plus, because Scott, William, and Luke were so busy (they were busy, now they're back in the "need a friend" phase), I've spent a lot of time with a couple of other guys that I've been getting pretty close with. AND, because I've been going out so much with them (versus mostly staying in and chillin with some combination of Scott, William, and/or Luke), I've been running into a bunch of other old friends. Two of whom, I really like and enjoy being with who both seem eager to reconnect and hang out more.

As a result, I've been spending nearly all of my free time on the phone with someone, at someone's house, or doing random other activities.

I've also been going out (in the bar/club sense) way more than I typically do, as in if I hadn't declined (with good reasons and firm intentions to do it later of course) invitations/requests to go out on three separate nights in the last week it would have been every night! Which is just crazy! Who even goes out on Monday or Tuesday night? Friday and Saturday or a given, Thursday isn't really a surprise, Sunday's always been popular with my friends (it's a big night for gay males in Houston for some reason), and I've accepted that a lot happens on Wednesday too. But now Monday and Tuesday too?

Honestly, once a week is quite sufficient for me, but I've felt like I had to accept lately since it's either to cheer up/support a friend, or to forge/strengthen new ties. And I do have fun, don't get me wrong, but I'm the kind of person who likes a lot of down time and a lot of time to myself. I'm happy with people, but I'm happy alone too, but it's even harder to work that out if someone asks if I have plans and I don't...I mean I could lie, or just say, "I really want a quiet evening by myself tonight", but I'd still feel like a jerk.

Add to that that I've been doing a lot of sub-teaching, especially for K-2nd graders. The kids are really sweet, and it's very rewarding, and even quite fun for the most part. Plus I know that I'm serious about wanting kids if I can listen to 20 screaming 7 year olds all day and still be thinking "man I want one!", but kids that age are pretty demanding!

So anyway, add it all together and it adds up to me being very tired! Plus I hate to complain, it's silly to complain about having too many good relationships and too many fun activities, but I just really want to spend a whole day locked inside without seeing, talking, or texting to a single person!

I can't though, being a supportive person is pretty much the most fundamental quality I see in myself, so not being there, even if they understand, would cause me more guilt and stress than it would be worth.