Lets make a deal...
Okay, so I made an exceedingly whiny blog post earlier today. I have subsequently set said post to private because me being all... I don't know how to describe it. Let's just say if it wasn't me that wrote it I'd want to strangle the little bitch that did. Anyhow, me giving in to that attitude isn't going to work.
So here is the deal. If I don't stop myself and do in the future post something that just makes you want to strangle me for being a whiney little bitch, by all means do what ever you can to get a hold of me and tell me to pull it quicker than a teenager on a lonely friday night MmmKay?
I thank you all in advance. I know its hard to believe but GA is my only connection to the "Gay Community". For better or for worse that is how it is. I don't want to do anything to make the lot of you think any less of me. I'm not saying sorry, just taking responsibility for how I have been acting lately.
I've been crying that Im stuck. that is such crap and typical of me to do. I'm dwelling on the not so great and over looking what i have achieved in the last several months. I've come a long way in my stay here, and I thank all of you for that. Hopefully, with a more measured dose of bitching in the future, I will continue to make myself into the person I know I can be, the person I want to be.
I started the Creative writing class on Monday night... There were a number of "inspirational" or "motivational" passages by famous writers. We were told to choose one passage that relates to our writing. I couldn't choose one, there were two I was bouncing back and forth between.
I dunno what I do is sort of art, at some base level. My intention is to move the reader to some emotion. Yet then again a lot of what I write is completely visual for me. So perhaps its more Malraux than Conrad. Eh I don't care for Conrad all that much anyhow. Anyhow I bring this up because of my inability to choose between these two seemingly seperate quotes. My less than succulant way of expressing the foibles I see in them. One is about perfection, the other is about the grittiness of reality. Which is art? Aren't they both?
I think so.
But anyhow, I'm going to keep working, making progress, however slow. I'm gonna smile. I can see the horizon, and Im going to make myself better, make myself great to get there. There I will be happy, there I will be whole. There, I get what i want. Trust me it's worth it.
See you along the road to the horizon
Steve
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