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[Razor] When I Fall Asleep by Razor


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A moving tale that covers a decade in the life of two boys.

 

One thing that puzzled me is why did Joey feel it was so important not to cry? My first thought was that his parents were fighting. His father is barely mentioned, but many years later he has two younger sisters, so I presume that his father is still around. My best guess is that his father is a distant figure, with a "be a man" attitude to emotions. I had to wonder, though, whether this was the cause of one recurring theme throughout the story -- Joey's desire to dream. He felt safe in his dreams, as if they were a better life than he was living -- and that was from the age of six!

 

Life would be easier if things didn't change with puberty. This story shows the wonderful evolution of what should have been a lasting friendship, but emotions and what they meant got in the way. Despite all they had been through, Aaron didn't appear to be able to take the steps required to keep Joey as a friend after Joey came out to him. The story implies that Aaron didn't tell anyone else -- they drifted apart rather than being pushed apart. The ending implies that Aaron was struggling with himself. It is just sad, but very real, that he wasn't able to act until it was too late.

 

I do have one negative -- as a parent of two boys close to the ages depicted at the start of the story, I wasn't impressed by the parents in the story. I thought Joey's mother was unfeeling not to escort her son to his class room the first day (it could be that the school didn't allow it, but I know almost all the mothers, and some fathers, do that at the school my boys go to). Equally, if Joey was unable to swim and the pool was clearly deep enough to drown in, there should have been a parent or grandparent in eyeshot when Aaron was trying to teach Joey to swim. However, these are minor points -- both Joey's mother and Aaron's grandmother came over as loving, caring parents.

 

Thank you for a sensitive and thoughtful story.

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OK, I didn't read Graeme's review, otherwise I'll have all the clever things already said. The little episodes selected to illustrate Joey and Aaron's growing up are to the point to get to the conclusion for this coming of age story. You can't help but feel sorry for Aaron in the end, a victim of cultural prejudice.

 

The childhood parts are really good, especially when they're little. The "discovery of sex" part is funny, and not handled in too clich

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Immodest? Me?

 

Come now, dear Bondy, let's remember who we're talking about. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna work on widening the doorways so my head will fit through them. :)

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Beautifully written, Jamie. :wub:

 

I loved the subtleness in the way you treated the theme, a rainy day. Tears of joy in juxtaposition to tears of loss, both disguised within the slowly falling rain. That was brillance! :D

 

I was equally in awe of the way Aaron's bike was used as a symbol of his and Joey's relationship. In it I saw the constancy of their youthful friendship, the loyalty and endurance of what they shared. As life's unbearable truths bore down on them, the bike was lay rest to a dark and lonely place.

 

So now you may add the bitter sweet to your repertoire.

 

Conner

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I have to say that I really, really liked this story. I found the ending sad, but it just really seemed like such a great slice of life story that was so real to me. Great job.

 

You can't help but feel sorry for Aaron in the end, a victim of cultural prejudice.

 

Really? I didn't feel sorry for him at all. Peer pressure's tough, but he made his choice. No matter how hard it is, it's not OK to turn away when your friend's getting beat up.

Edited by Matthew
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I have to say that I really, really liked this story. I found the ending sad, but it just really seemed like such a great slice of life story that was so real to me. Great job.

Really? I didn't feel sorry for him at all. Peer pressure's tough, but he made his choice. No matter how hard it is, it's not OK to turn away when your friend's getting beat up.

 

I agree with what you said exactly. Great story Razor :)

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OK, make this I can't help feeling sorry for Aaron. Yes, he behaved like a jerk, and acted cowardly, but in the end, he's the loner and the loser, and the one who drifts away alone in the rain. The way it's laid out, it's not seen from Joey's point of view, who could be laughing at the stupid mock-jock who turned his back on him and lost his friendship, and certainly more.

 

So, whereas I hated Aaron's reaction when he leaves the room after Joey came out to him, and not agreeing with him on his behavior, the author makes me feel a bit of pity (not a very nice feeling anyway) for him in the final scene. So it's not all black and white, and I'm grateful to the author for this take on things in his 3rd person narrative.

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OK, make this I can't help feeling sorry for Aaron. Yes, he behaved like a jerk, and acted cowardly, but in the end, he's the loner and the loser, and the one who drifts away alone in the rain. The way it's laid out, it's not seen from Joey's point of view, who could be laughing at the stupid mock-jock who turned his back on him and lost his friendship, and certainly more.

There's no reason, IMHO, to believe that he's a loner or a loser. Well, he is a loser in terms of character, but he's probably still the cool jock with all the friends and I'm sure he'll marry some wonderful girl and ruin her life.

 

Yes, in the last scene, he's sad. But in my book coming back to your friend several years later does not redeem you. It's a bare minimal effort.

Edited by Matthew
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[/font][/size]There's no reason, IMHO, to believe that he's a loner or a loser. Well, he is a loser in terms of character, but he's probably still the cool jock with all the friends and I'm sure he'll marry some wonderful girl and ruin her life.

 

Yes, in the last scene, he's sad. But in my book coming back to your friend several years later does not redeem you. It's a bare minimal effort.

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The way I saw it, Aaron is gay. So it's not just making up for his lost childhood friendship, but also coming clean to himself, but it's too late. Maybe I over interpret, but this is how I read it.

 

I think you're right on your point about him maybe being gay. Either that, or he had feelings for him in some way that was more than friendship. Either way, though, it was a day late and a dollar short.

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One of the major points of the entire rave boy universe is to show that, in real life at least, people are often 'a day late and a dollar short'. :)

 

That was the theme I got from this story, and I thought it was excellently done. I felt a real dichotomy with Aaron: He treated Joey like dirt, for a long time. Turning away when he was beaten up, well, that clinched it for me. I wasn't sorry for him at the end.

 

Thanks Razor!!!

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I'm gonna go against the grain.

 

I feel sorry for Aaron.

 

He's gay. IMHO. and scared. He asks joey if he would hate him if he had a speech impediment, aka something he can't help but have.

The turning away when Joey was getting beaten up, I don't see it as turning away cause he didn't care, but more turning away because he was ashamed, he did care, but he was scared to do it publicly.

 

um. yeah. add a jumble of other thoughts, and a few praises for the story.

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I'm gonna go against the grain.

 

I feel sorry for Aaron.

Not asking for the author's arbitration, but it seems that the way the story is told, Aaron is not presented as just the cute kid who grows up being the bullying-quarterback-to-become-mindless-fratboy. This is what I meant above. Now I'll have to reread Rave Boy. Dang.

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I'm gonna go against the grain.

 

I feel sorry for Aaron.

 

He's gay. IMHO. and scared. He asks joey if he would hate him if he had a speech impediment, aka something he can't help but have.

The turning away when Joey was getting beaten up, I don't see it as turning away cause he didn't care, but more turning away because he was ashamed, he did care, but he was scared to do it publicly.

 

um. yeah. add a jumble of other thoughts, and a few praises for the story.

 

I'm with you 100%, Andy, and Bondwriter too. :2hands:

 

That's exactly how I interpreted the speech impediment scene. It's recollection would no doubt cause Aaron additional shame.

 

As for Aaron, he's paying the price of his betrayal. But I like to think that Aaron can one day reclaim his best friend. There is no knot that can't be untangled.

 

Conner

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I too came away feeling some pity for Aaron. Who indeed decided on a course of action after the ship had sailed. Yeah he was brash in his aloofishness. Who here of us hasnt? Who here of us would want to be judged by our weaknesses and not our strengths? Any condemnation of the character is a condemnation of ourselves... He turned the tide, he set out to make it right. Aaron was the one lost in the end, Joey had moved on and found someone who would be there for him even if he did lie and say everything was alright when he was mourning the loss of a friend. The story has alot of reality penned into it.

 

Great Work Jamie!

 

Steve

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I'm in the "feel sorry for Aaron" camp :)

 

Just because he's a jock, it doesn't mean he can't be scared. It would have been great if he could have come out to Joey earlier, and if he's stood up for his friends, but I don't hold it against him (much) for not doing so. Coming out is a scary thing! Indeed, as a jock he may have been more in the middle of a pack of homophobes than Joey experienced, and coming out could have been life-threatening.

 

There is also no indication that Aaron had sorted out his sexuality any earlier. He may have been unsure and not willing to commit himself until he was positive. Unfortunately, by that stage it was too late.

 

Aaron isn't a perfect person -- he should have done something more than he did while Joey was in pain -- but he's human and as such I wish him all the best.

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Well, I must be heartless because, despite all these terrific arguments, I still don't feel bad for him at all/

 

That was the theme I got from this story, and I thought it was excellently done. I felt a real dichotomy with Aaron: He treated Joey like dirt, for a long time. Turning away when he was beaten up, well, that clinched it for me. I wasn't sorry for him at the end.

 

Thanks Razor!!!

The dichotomy for me is: he treated Joey like dirt when he himself is dirt.

 

I'm gonna go against the grain.

 

I feel sorry for Aaron.

 

He's gay. IMHO. and scared. He asks joey if he would hate him if he had a speech impediment, aka something he can't help but have.

The turning away when Joey was getting beaten up, I don't see it as turning away cause he didn't care, but more turning away because he was ashamed, he did care, but he was scared to do it publicly.

 

um. yeah. add a jumble of other thoughts, and a few praises for the story.

His motivation for turning away doesn't affect my belief that it's a terrible thing to do. And even then there's no reason to believe he did it for anything other then his selfish desire to cling to popularity.

 

Not asking for the author's arbitration, but it seems that the way the story is told, Aaron is not presented as just the cute kid who grows up being the bullying-quarterback-to-become-mindless-fratboy. This is what I meant above. Now I'll have to reread Rave Boy. Dang.

He's clearly not all that, but he's also no prince charming.

 

I'm with you 100%, Andy, and Bondwriter too. :2hands:

 

That's exactly how I interpreted the speech impediment scene. It's recollection would no doubt cause Aaron additional shame.

 

As for Aaron, he's paying the price of his betrayal. But I like to think that Aaron can one day reclaim his best friend. There is no knot that can't be untangled.

 

Conner

I have to disagree. There are certain things that can be done by someone you trust that cannot be undone and that cannot be forgotten. I'm not saying this is one of them, but certain things cannot be gotten past.

 

I too came away feeling some pity for Aaron. Who indeed decided on a course of action after the ship had sailed. Yeah he was brash in his aloofishness. Who here of us hasnt? Who here of us would want to be judged by our weaknesses and not our strengths? Any condemnation of the character is a condemnation of ourselves... He turned the tide, he set out to make it right. Aaron was the one lost in the end, Joey had moved on and found someone who would be there for him even if he did lie and say everything was alright when he was mourning the loss of a friend. The story has alot of reality penned into it.

 

I'm not condemning myself as I've never stood somewhere watching someone get beaten. I'm not saying I'm better than Aaron, but that deserves some kind of backlash.

 

Also, to me at least, telling him the truth does not make things ok, nor does it make years of ignoring your friend be forgotten.

 

 

Just because he's a jock, it doesn't mean he can't be scared. It would have been great if he could have come out to Joey earlier, and if he's stood up for his friends, but I don't hold it against him (much) for not doing so. Coming out is a scary thing! Indeed, as a jock he may have been more in the middle of a pack of homophobes than Joey experienced, and coming out could have been life-threatening.

I'm sorry, but I don't give people who allow their best friends to be beaten the benefit of the doubt as to how stepping in would have affected him in a life or death manner.

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While yes, an apology would seem too little too late if years of harsh words and mistreatment had passed. I didn't get the impression years had past at all, only months. No exact time line was pointed out in the text for the last three or four scenes.

 

Aaron's willingness, to make things right speaks volumes about his character. He could have ignored his nagging conscious like so many do, but he chose to act on it and take a step towards a remedy. Surely this puts his character in a caliber above dirt?

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He's not perfect -- I'll say that again. However, he's the only one who knows his own situation. As has been said many times here, only the person concerned can decide when (or even if) to come out of the closet.

 

I agree that he's low down on the scale of decent human beings for not doing something to support Joey, but I don't condemn him for what he did (or rather, didn't) do.

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I'll give you one thing, Matthew, you're very clear on where you stand. You have good arguments as well; don't let me take that from you.

 

In the case of this story, it's totally Joey's call.

 

I think I need to stop talking like this is "real". :P

 

Conner

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While yes, an apology would seem too little too late if years of harsh words and mistreatment had passed. I didn't get the impression years had past at all, only months. No exact time line was pointed out in the text for the last three or four scenes.

 

Aaron's willingness, to make things right speaks volumes about his character. He could have ignored his nagging conscious like so many do, but he chose to act on it and take a step towards a remedy. Surely this puts his character in a caliber above dirt?

The third from last scene indicated its in middle school. The second to last says a month has passed. The last talks of "high school summers." I may be wrong, but I took this to mean that a gap of several years had taken place.

 

He chose to tell his friend the truth, somewhat better, but we don't know that he would do anything at school or anywhere else contrary to his earlier selfish nature, so I have no reason to believe he's anywhere higher than just above dirt.

 

He's not perfect -- I'll say that again. However, he's the only one who knows his own situation. As has been said many times here, only the person concerned can decide when (or even if) to come out of the closet.

 

I agree that he's low down on the scale of decent human beings for not doing something to support Joey, but I don't condemn him for what he did (or rather, didn't) do.

I agree that he's the only one who can decide when to come out of the closet. However, sticking up for your friend of several years against a stupid rumor is not coming out, it's being a real friend.

 

I don't condemn him, only his actions and feel that there was an appropriate retribution for them.

 

Edit for cross post:

I'll give you one thing, Matthew, you're very clear on where you stand. You have good arguments as well; don't let me take that from you.

 

In the case of this story, it's totally Joey's call.

 

I think I need to stop talking like this is "real".

 

Conner

 

I love how most compliments I receive seem to be code for: you argue too much. :P

But I thank you for it all the same.

And, for the record, I do realize that I am over-argumentative, but I only get this way during long breaks from formal debate.

Edited by Matthew
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The third from last scene indicated it's in middle school. The second to last says a month has passed. The last talks of "high school summers." I may be wrong, but I took this to mean that a gap of several years had taken place.

 

Ahhh I over read that, and used other clues from the narritive to base my timeline. There usualy aren't orginized team sports in Middle Schools in California. :*) Such cliques as Jocks and preps and the others usualy don't rise untill highschool.

 

Aarons actions during the fight scene while deplorable could have been alot worse, He could have been in the thick of it with the other little (insert appropriate descriptor here). I am in no way defending his actions or lack there of. Just stating that in the end he wasn't as worthless a person as made out. The occurance of fear and weight of doubt drive people to do stupid things. Aaron just fell victim to his own fears, and those fears ended up costing him more then he realized his was willing to part with. That is why I pity him and the place he ended up.

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