What does being gay mean to you?

[Graeme]

i can often tell a gay boy by his facial structure alone. there's something different. i can't put a finger on it, but there's something different. but it may not be the testosterone. i shouldn't've used that word, but i do believe there's a lack or abundance of some hormone that makes us look slightly different.

I suspect you're only identifying a subset of gay guys. Most people who claim to be able to spot gays (ie. they think they have a perfect gaydar) may have an almost 100% success rate with those they claim to be gay, but they often fail to pick up all the gay guys.

[myself_i_must_remake]

still. the point i was making is i have it. i can tell by my own face that i'm gay.

and if i weren't gay, then i probably wouldn't have it. there's no way to be sure, of course, but i'm pretty confident.

[Menzoberranzen]

You really ought to Rol-and Barthe yourself in anti-sarcasm rather than wearing a Lyotard of cynicism.

 

 

Here's a little something I always thought was amusing:

The Philosopher's Drinking SongThe Philosopher's Drinking Song

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out consume

Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

 

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya

'bout the raisin' of the wrist.

Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

 

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,

after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,

'alf a crate of whiskey every day!

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,

and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:

"I drink, therefore I am."

 

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;

A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

 

-- Monty Python

And I must say, I disagree with feuxdemoncoeur. I don't think there is any difference

in the facial structure of gay and straight guys, and I definitely think that (percentage wise)

there are far more attractive gay guys than straight ones.

 

Menzo

[JamesSavik]

the testosterone would probably make me better looking.

 

I can't imagine that Billy.

 

In my experience, it's just the opposite: gay guys are fairly indistinguishable from the str8 ones. :mellow:

 

We gay folk have no obvious hormone deficiencies either. In fact, the bars are full of guys who would like to exchange hormones.

[DuffManBurns]

It's awesome that a topic about what being gay means to everyone turned into a topic about looks and superficiality, heh. That's gold. (And before I hafta start ducking refuse, lemme clarify that I'm not saying that I'm not superficial, cause I totally am. Hell, gay or straight, I think people're usually unattractive nine times outta ten. Anyway.)

 

I'm probably not the person to ask, as I have legendarily bad gaydar and'm probably one uh the few people who woulda believed that Liberace never got married cause he never found the right girl. However, with my limited experience, I can't claim to've noticed any difference whatsoever in the facial structure of gay and straight guys. The few times I can spot a gay guy's not because there's something different about his face, but mainly cause he's probably rawking the hot pink lip gloss or something equally cartoonish.

 

So...yeah. Maybe I'll pay more attention next time, cause I haven't seen diddly.

[writeincode]

Here's a little something I always thought was amusing:

The Philosopher's Drinking Song

 

And then, in reference to the whole facial structure conversation going on: in the end you do have to admit that a lot (perhaps not a lot but definitely a few) of gay guys are distinguishable because of their facial structures (high cheekbones, occassionally long eyelashes etc.) It is obviously not all but definitely a few.

Edited November 12, 2007 by writeincode

[Menzoberranzen]

 

And then, in reference to the whole facial structure conversation going on: in the end you do have to admit that a lot (perhaps not a lot but definitely a few) of gay guys are distinguishable because of their facial structures (high cheekbones, occassionally long eyelashes etc.) It is obviously not all but definitely a few.

 

Honey, if you thought those lashes were natural...

 

Menzo (who admits nobody ever mistakes me for a straight guy)

[NaperVic]

in the end you do have to admit that a lot (perhaps not a lot but definitely a few) of gay guys are distinguishable because of their facial structures (high cheekbones,

 

And are you sure those high cheekbones aren't just standing out due to makeup?

[Hylas]

I know a brazilian guy (straight) who says that a sure way to identify if someone's gay is the way they look at guys sideways, LOL. That said I have absolutely zero gaydar, unless the guy in question is flamboyantly gay that is.

 

It'll be problematic for me since I'm the 'masculine' type and looking for the same characteristics in another person... but then... how do you KNOW if a 'potential' is gay or not?! LOL. I mean, I'd rather not ask him outright, "Are you gay?" and get punched in the face. Sure, I can go to gay bars, but gay bar client

[Graeme]

It'll be problematic for me since I'm the 'masculine' type and looking for the same characteristics in another person... but then... how do you KNOW if a 'potential' is gay or not?! LOL. I mean, I'd rather not ask him outright, "Are you gay?" and get punched in the face.

I can appreciate not wanting to be punched in the face.

 

As far as I'm concerned, the only real way is to have them tell you. I've had enough experience with meeting people to know that effeminate characteristics don't always mean that the guy is gay. The only way I can see that's foolproof is to be out, and then let them approach you if they want to.

 

Yes. Sorry for stereotyping, It just may be that the art world is more accepting to sexual deviation that GLBT's naturally gravitate towards them. I'm part of an indie game development team. We have coders, artists (both 2d and 3d), writers, etc. and there are only 2 gay members in the team. (I came out to them about 2 weeks ago, the first GROUP of people I came out to that actually knew my real name, and they took it quite well yay!). Strangely enough, the other gay member, is a coder, not an artist. Doesn't even possess a shred of artistry in him, LOL. So there goes your stereotypes.

I'm a coder, too, and my only 'artistic' ability is in writing. Congratulations on coming out to them, though, and I'm really glad it went well

[x Trevor x]

Hi everyone! Okay I see many different topics here and I'm going to put my views and oppinions out there.

 

First off...what does gay mean to me?

 

Well to me it means your different. (Dont beat me up! Lol!) It means your special and in a good way.

 

When I was in high school I had a really tough time. I mean by then I knew I was gay and accepted it and was okay with it right then and there atleast to myself. What really bothered me was the lonliness. I had two friends that I could vent to and that helped a bit but I was lonely for not having love and affection and basically I didnt have a relationship and thats what bothered me. But now looking back on it I appreciate every pain I was put through and I know that sounds weird but think of it...how boring would high school be if you werent gay? I mean you would live the normal teenage life parties, talking about people, going to class but when your gay...to me it's as if you grow up faster. Your watching everyone around you be immature kids who just worry about what there going to wear or when there going to go shopping but you...your dealing with the real stuff and I think that prepares you for when adult hood really comes and makes you more mature. Also I think it makes you alot more understanding of people and it would make you a good shoulder to cry on a good comforting Theres also a downside to it aswell though when I said you grow up alot faster I mean that. To me personally I feel because of that I never got the full expierence of just being a kid and now as a young adult when I have problems and things I often get depressed and just want to become a kid again where all I had to do was have fun and play. Anyway generally to me being gay means being different but in a special way which is good but also has a few downers.

 

As for the gaydar subject and facial structure I dont really think you can tell someones sexuality like that. I think you can tell more by body structure. To me a small and feminine boy would most likely be suspected of being gay before a strong muscular guy would but then again you could always be wrong. That femme boy might be straight and muscle guy might be gay! Lol I'm very feminine myself and people could always tell I was gay and teased me about it alot but I would never own up to it. I felt it was better to let them suspect than to actually know at the time.

[Menzoberranzen]

Hi everyone! Okay I see many different topics here and I'm going to put my views and oppinions out there.

 

First off...what does gay mean to me?

 

Well to me it means your different. (Dont beat me up! Lol!) It means your special and in a good way.

 

When I was in high school I had a really tough time. I mean by then I knew I was gay and accepted it and was okay with it right then and there atleast to myself. What really bothered me was the lonliness. I had two friends that I could vent to and that helped a bit but I was lonely for not having love and affection and basically I didnt have a relationship and thats what bothered me. But now looking back on it I appreciate every pain I was put through and I know that sounds weird but think of it...how boring would high school be if you werent gay? I mean you would live the normal teenage life parties, talking about people, going to class but when your gay...to me it's as if you grow up faster. Your watching everyone around you be immature kids who just worry about what there going to wear or when there going to go shopping but you...your dealing with the real stuff and I think that prepares you for when adult hood really comes and makes you more mature. Also I think it makes you alot more understanding of people and it would make you a good shoulder to cry on a good comforting Theres also a downside to it aswell though when I said you grow up alot faster I mean that. To me personally I feel because of that I never got the full expierence of just being a kid and now as a young adult when I have problems and things I often get depressed and just want to become a kid again where all I had to do was have fun and play. Anyway generally to me being gay means being different but in a special way which is good but also has a few downers.

 

I can't say that dreading waking up every morning because you know that each and everyone of your peers will go out of their way to make your life miserable, is really something that 'prepares you' for adulthood. It makes you hate people and it makes you so bitter that no one wants to cry on your shoulder. I won't disagree that being gay makes you different, and I quite honestly would never change that if I could, but I can't say that going through shit as a kid has made me a better person. Stronger, possibly, and more mature, certainly, but it also leaves you with a lot of demons, and a lot of issues.

 

Menzo

[AFriendlyFace]

i can often tell a gay boy by his facial structure alone. there's something different. i can't put a finger on it, but there's something different. but it may not be the testosterone. i shouldn't've used that word, but i do believe there's a lack or abundance of some hormone that makes us look slightly different.

 

and i think straight boys look better. gay guys try harder, but it doesn't make up for just sheer good looks which no amount of hair gel or nice clothes can get you.

I mostly disagree that there is a difference in facial structure, mostly. I admit there there may possibly be, but I'm pretty sure if it does exist I find it more attractive than the straight facial structure, and anyway I'm not sure I do believe it.

 

 

I suspect you're only identifying a subset of gay guys. Most people who claim to be able to spot gays (ie. they think they have a perfect gaydar) may have an almost 100% success rate with those they claim to be gay, but they often fail to pick up all the gay guys.

It's definitely true that out guys are easier to pick out than closeted guys. I very rarely fail to "gaydar" an out guy, even if we're in a non-gay setting and he's not acting/looking especially "gay". I think there's just a difference in the way someone out thinks, feels, and generally conducts themselves. Closeted guys are easier to miss, but some can be picked out anyway, and sometimes I think it's possible to "ping" a guy who hasn't even worked it out himself yet.

 

Yesterday I was meeting a friend at church and I was sitting in my vehicle when I glanced into the rear-view mirror and noticed a guy walking by. All I could tell was that it was a guy and I was thinking "ohh, he's gay", then upon closer inspection I realized it was in fact my friend

 

 

The Philosopher's Drinking SongThe Philosopher's Drinking Song

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out consume

Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

 

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya

'bout the raisin' of the wrist.

Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

 

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,

after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,

'alf a crate of whiskey every day!

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,

and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:

"I drink, therefore I am."

 

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;

A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

 

-- Monty Python

I'll drink to that!

And I must say, I disagree with feuxdemoncoeur. I don't think there is any difference

in the facial structure of gay and straight guys, and I definitely think that (percentage wise)

there are far more attractive gay guys than straight ones.

 

Menzo

And I'll definitely drink to that!

 

We gay folk have no obvious hormone deficiencies either. In fact, the bars are full of guys who would like to exchange hormones.

 

Honey, if you thought those lashes were natural...

 

Menzo (who admits nobody ever mistakes me for a straight guy)

Personally, I was fortunate in that my lashes, and eyes in general, have always been complimented, even when I was a kid and not at all sexual and couldn't have cared less (even found it a bit embarrassing at the time). I do get my eyebrows done though.

 

Yes. Sorry for stereotyping, It just may be that the art world is more accepting to sexual deviation that GLBT's naturally gravitate towards them. I'm part of an indie game development team. We have coders, artists (both 2d and 3d), writers, etc. and there are only 2 gay members in the team. (I came out to them about 2 weeks ago, the first GROUP of people I came out to that actually knew my real name, and they took it quite well yay!). Strangely enough, the other gay member, is a coder, not an artist. Doesn't even possess a shred of artistry in him, LOL. So there goes your stereotypes.

I've heard that computers/IT/Technology is a good field to be gay in.

 

Hi everyone! Okay I see many different topics here and I'm going to put my views and oppinions out there.

 

First off...what does gay mean to me?

 

Well to me it means your different. (Dont beat me up! Lol!) It means your special and in a good way.

 

When I was in high school I had a really tough time. I mean by then I knew I was gay and accepted it and was okay with it right then and there atleast to myself. What really bothered me was the lonliness. I had two friends that I could vent to and that helped a bit but I was lonely for not having love and affection and basically I didnt have a relationship and thats what bothered me. But now looking back on it I appreciate every pain I was put through and I know that sounds weird but think of it...how boring would high school be if you werent gay? I mean you would live the normal teenage life parties, talking about people, going to class but when your gay...to me it's as if you grow up faster. Your watching everyone around you be immature kids who just worry about what there going to wear or when there going to go shopping but you...your dealing with the real stuff and I think that prepares you for when adult hood really comes and makes you more mature. Also I think it makes you alot more understanding of people and it would make you a good shoulder to cry on a good comforting Theres also a downside to it aswell though when I said you grow up alot faster I mean that. To me personally I feel because of that I never got the full expierence of just being a kid and now as a young adult when I have problems and things I often get depressed and just want to become a kid again where all I had to do was have fun and play. Anyway generally to me being gay means being different but in a special way which is good but also has a few downers.

 

As for the gaydar subject and facial structure I dont really think you can tell someones sexuality like that. I think you can tell more by body structure. To me a small and feminine boy would most likely be suspected of being gay before a strong muscular guy would but then again you could always be wrong. That femme boy might be straight and muscle guy might be gay! Lol I'm very feminine myself and people could always tell I was gay and teased me about it alot but I would never own up to it. I felt it was better to let them suspect than to actually know at the time.

I really liked your post, Trevor. It was very insightful!

 

-Kevin

[x Trevor x]

I can't say that dreading waking up every morning because you know that each and everyone of your peers will go out of their way to make your life miserable, is really something that 'prepares you' for adulthood. It makes you hate people and it makes you so bitter that no one wants to cry on your shoulder. I won't disagree that being gay makes you different, and I quite honestly would never change that if I could, but I can't say that going through shit as a kid has made me a better person. Stronger, possibly, and more mature, certainly, but it also leaves you with a lot of demons, and a lot of issues.

 

Menzo

 

I never really looked at it that way...wow you got my brain working right now lol. I do aggree with everything you have said and...maybe my post sounded a bit more simple and a little bit to sugar coated. I think really to be honest after thinking about it depends on the person. Some people who endure all kinds of pain like that can take that anger and turn it into strength...some could misuse the anger and some could be so emotionally weak that they feel helpless. It all depends on the person really and there strengths and weaknesses. I know at times I could be really emotionally weak and back in my high school days I was really emotionally torn and messed up but looking back on it now it doesnt seem so bad and makes me wish I had been stronger back then like I am now (Which isnt very much I'm still extremely shy! Lol but it's some progress!) so maybe I was posting to much from my life expierence than everyone elses because no situation is ever the same but thanks for bringing this side to my attention.

 

 

I really liked your post, Trevor. It was very insightful!

 

-Kevin

 

Awe thanks! ((((((Hugs)))))

[BeaStKid]

Being gay means no more, and no less, than being straight means to a straight person. I won't deny that it changes my perspective somewhat, but it's not like it sets me apart from the rest of the world.

 

Menzo

 

My thoughts exactly, Menzo.

 

Being bisexual is a part of who I am and not who I am. So, I don't think it means a lot to me.

 

 

BeaStKid

[AFriendlyFace]

I originally cross-posted with Menzo.

 

I can't say that dreading waking up every morning because you know that each and everyone of your peers will go out of their way to make your life miserable, is really something that 'prepares you' for adulthood. It makes you hate people and it makes you so bitter that no one wants to cry on your shoulder. I won't disagree that being gay makes you different, and I quite honestly would never change that if I could, but I can't say that going through shit as a kid has made me a better person. Stronger, possibly, and more mature, certainly, but it also leaves you with a lot of demons, and a lot of issues.

That also seems very well-reasoned. I'm very sorry you went through that

 

I think it does all depend on the person and the circumstances. Personally, I'm very fortunate in that I've never been ridiculed or rejected for my sexuality. In fact I was quite happy in grade school and high school. I had a bunch of really awesome friends and actually I partied more my last two years of high school than at any other time in my life. Anyway, all I'm saying is that I don't think a socially unhappy childhood is inevitably tied to being gay, and I think even when that happens how the person reacts and what they take with them varies.

 

Just my opinion though,

Kevin

[Tracy]

It'll be problematic for me since I'm the 'masculine' type and looking for the same characteristics in another person...

 

I don't know if it's just me, but have you ever noticed how a majority of the gay population in the Philippines seem to be flamboyant? I've never had the pleasure of meeting a 'masculine' type But I have a feeling my non-existant gaydar is to blame for that

 

I mostly disagree that there is a difference in facial structure, mostly. I admit there there may possibly be, but I'm pretty sure if it does exist I find it more attractive than the straight facial structure, and anyway I'm not sure I do believe it.

 

I agree. I don't think that gay men differ from straight men when it comes to facial structure. Instead, I think that certain facial expressions are deep-rooted to the musculature of our face. Gay men tend to employ the facial expressions of women, which could possibly be one reason why we think that there's a difference in facial structure.

 

I was really emotionally torn and messed up but looking back on it now it doesnt seem so bad and makes me wish I had been stronger back then like I am now.

 

Aww. Well, I'm glad that what you went through has made you a stronger person today

 

tracy

[Benji]

still. the point i was making is i have it. i can tell by my own face that i'm gay.

and if i weren't gay, then i probably wouldn't have it. there's no way to be sure, of course, but i'm pretty confident.

 

 

............Maybe my gaydars broke, but I can't tell by your photo that your gay, just looks like a normal good-looking cute guy

[Hylas]

tracy:

I don't know if it's just me, but have you ever noticed how a majority of the gay population in the Philippines seem to be flamboyant? I've never had the pleasure of meeting a 'masculine' type tongue.gif But I have a feeling my non-existant gaydar is to blame for that dry.gif

 

another filipino! LOL. yeah, i did notice that I know two masculine gay guys in a nearby university, but I just know they're gay because they just came out in the most controversial way (dumping their girlfriends and moving in the same dorm). LOL. They're obviously in love and don't give a hoot about what other people think - still, it doesn't stop most people from laughing at them behind their backs and saying "sayang" ("such a waste").

 

and yes... where can i buy a gaydar? LOL Coz there's one thing I swore never to do: Never hit on a straight guy!

 

AFriendlyFace:

 

Good for you. I wish I was out in Highschool... It was pretty small and exclusive (though public, it had a pretty rigorous entrance exam), it would have been quite easy for my life to be a living hell if I came out there.

 

Yesterday I was meeting a friend at church and I was sitting in my vehicle when I glanced into the rear-view mirror and noticed a guy walking by. All I could tell was that it was a guy and I was thinking "ohh, he's gay", then upon closer inspection I realized it was in fact my friend laugh.gif

 

... so IS HE GAY?! LOL I wish I had your gaydar

 

Trevor & Menzo:

I can't say that dreading waking up every morning because you know that each and everyone of your peers will go out of their way to make your life miserable, is really something that 'prepares you' for adulthood. It makes you hate people and it makes you so bitter that no one wants to cry on your shoulder. I won't disagree that being gay makes you different, and I quite honestly would never change that if I could, but I can't say that going through shit as a kid has made me a better person. Stronger, possibly, and more mature, certainly, but it also leaves you with a lot of demons, and a lot of issues.

 

a lot of demons indeed... i went through a pretty bad depression phase in freshman college. I seriously thought of suicide. It's only now that I realize how thankful I am I never did do it.

 

I still have a massive inferiority complex that I'm struggling to cure with some weightlifting LOL. But good thing now, is that I appreciate happiness. I appreciate every single thing that makes me smile, makes me laugh, make me feel good... Nothing like going through a famine to appreciate food.

[NaperVic]

I don't know if it's just me, but have you ever noticed how a majority of the gay population in the Philippines seem to be flamboyant? I've never had the pleasure of meeting a 'masculine' type But I have a feeling my non-existant gaydar is to blame for that

 

I'm a masculine filipino . I'm very butch, or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

 

Take Care®,

 

Vic

 

*no snickering from the peanut gallery please*

[AFriendlyFace]

AFriendlyFace:

 

Good for you. I wish I was out in Highschool... It was pretty small and exclusive (though public, it had a pretty rigorous entrance exam), it would have been quite easy for my life to be a living hell if I came out there.

Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to imply that I was out in highschool; I wasn't. I was just saying that I enjoyed highschool.

 

... so IS HE GAY?!

oh goodness, yes!

 

I'm a masculine filipino . I'm very butch, or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

 

Take Care

[colinian]

...And I must say, I disagree with feuxdemoncoeur. I don't think there is any difference in the facial structure of gay and straight guys, and I definitely think that (percentage wise) there are far more attractive gay guys than straight ones.

 

Menzo

 

I agree with you, Menzo. When I was a junior in HS one of the most rugged, macho guys on the football team (he was a senior) came out, and his BF played on the rugby team. Then there's a guy who's totally fem and goth and is straight. I don't think facial structure and sexual orientation are related.

 

Colin