Your Irrational Fears

[Menzoberranzen]

I have a fear of vulnerability. Any sort of it. It makes for some very interesting relationship fights, really.

[AFriendlyFace]

I have a fear of vulnerability. Any sort of it. It makes for some very interesting relationship fights, really.

Wow! That sounds like a very serious fear!

 

I mean no offense (you know I think you're nifty ), but someone who was unwilling to allow themselves to be vulnerable with me would be a deal breaker in a relationship. Actually, I even have trouble befriending people who don't occasionally display vulnerability to me.

 

It is for this reason that I think I feel awkward in friendships with straight guys. By and large there isn't enough of that mutual vulnerability that I find so necessary in a connected emotional relationship. Indeed I once had this (eventual) friend whom I usually found irritatingly smug and, despite that fact that he was a nice guy, I always felt a tad uncomfortable around him. Then one night we got into a discussion of depression and listening to him talk about some of the painful feelings he had experienced during a rough time I instantly softened to him and warmly regarded him from then on (even after he rebuilt his wall).

 

But like I said, I'm crazy about you Menzo, so you must be one of the exceptions (there are a few others as well)

 

-Kevin

Edited February 29, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Hylas]

On relationships: I'm afraid of being found lacking.

 

On the world: I'm afraid of caterpillars, small spaces and being tied down/restrained/paralyzed. I'm also scared of going blind.

 

On the net: nada, I guess.

[Tristan Thinks]

LOL, perhaps we could just have an "irrational fear" themed anthology

I think that is a superb idea. I've got several wicked plotlines in my head already.

[Tiger]

LOL, perhaps we could just have an "irrational fear" themed anthology

I could totally write a short story based on such a theme.

[Tiff]

That's a really good idea. That idea should be submitted. I don't think I could come up with anything for that.....but I bet there would be some good submissions and I'd be interested to read all of them!

[Tristan Thinks]

Here's a reply I was about to post in the Anthology forum in response to Tiff but thought this would be a better place because most of the content is off-topic for the Anthology section:

 

Jeez, Tristan, you got me freaked out! You had an "Irrational fears" forum topic and emails not going through is one of my fears! It's the worst form of miscommunication and very frustrating.

 

It's like, you think it went through, and the receiver doesn't know any better. So are you supposed to bombard said person with follow up emails, or hope for the best and have the possibility of your anothology gone AWOL until the deadline had passed. Argh.

I guess if I wasn't used to this kind of thing by now, it'd be an irrational fear of mine

 

One thing that I've learned over time is that, if there's any possibility of something unexpected happening, it'll happen to me! I'm serious about that, it's like a jinx.

 

In my hacking & development work when I'm investigating various applications and code I've lost count of the number of times some obscure bug has hit my projects, and only mine, causing me to loose days having to hack and debug the issue and produce a fix. At least I have the benefit of working predominantly with open-source code so at least I have the option of investigating and fixing, not just suffering or being frustrated.

 

Even in real-life things happen to me that don't happen to anyone else!

 

A while back along with a friend I formed a gay football team and it went really well. We recruited 20 members in a couple of months and arranged our first 'friendly' against a team from another city. They came to visit on a hot Sunday afternoon and we had a great match. Heading back to the pub afterwards we got to the car park of the playing fields and my car was missing. Everyone was gathered around because I usually carried all the kit in my car.

 

I thought someone was pulling a prank (since I'm always doing that too!) so made like I wasn't concerned and just arranged for the kit to go in other cars and got a ride to the pub with my mate. I thought it was just a big set-up by the entire team, expecting me to freak out so I was playing it oh so nonchalantly.

 

At the pub my car wasn't in the car park either, so I questioned a few of my team mates and it became apparent my car really had been stolen.

 

I wasn't bothered about the car - easy to replace - but one of my friends had left his kit-bag in the car and it contained his house keys, wallet, passport, new expensive mobile phone and other stuff. He is a very sensitive worrisome kind of guy so he was really worried about it, especially as his mother's address was in his wallet (she lived in a city about 300 miles away, fortunately).

 

I guess you could say his irrational fears came into play because of this. He was worrying for weeks afterwards.

 

To cut a long story short, a couple of days later the police chased and finally caught someone driving my car and it turned out he was the 'cousin' (actually a friend from childhood) of one of our team members who'd come along to support his friend, seen me put my car keys in my bag, and because he was trusted as a friend of a team member, was able to get into our 'valuables' cordon, take my keys, and steal the car.

 

We found out the team member knew this guy was into robbery and so on, and even suspected him when it happened, but wouldn't tell anyone on the team because of his loyalty to the thief. The team was appalled - they expected to trust other team members - and quickly blanked that guy so he left the team. There was a bit of damage to the car but nothing too serious and it was quickly repaired.

 

It transpired the thief was due in court for mugging and assault too, so a few months later he pleaded guilty to the car theft and the mugging and was sentenced to 3 years. Shame really, because he is really cute ( waves to Trevor the car thief )

[Tiff]

Hahaha, I love how you start on a topic, and then go off on a tangent, and end up telling a humorous story.

 

That Trevor was so stupid; he had to have known he'd get caught eventually. Serves him right--- eek, three years!

 

Good mini-tale yet again.

[Tristan Thinks]

Hahaha, I love how you start on a topic, and then go off on a tangent, and end up telling a humorous story.

Yeah, I do seem to have that habit! I guess I just have a humorous take on almost everything that happens in my life, even the 'bad' bits.

 

That Trevor was so stupid; he had to have known he'd get caught eventually. Serves him right--- eek, three years!

Like I said, he is also very cute. At the match he was shirtless and I remember Dave and me drooling over him and wondering who he was

 

Here's a still image grabbed from a video I took of him outside the court complex - not a great shot but you get the idea. You can click the thumbnail to get the larger version.

[Tiff]

Even with the picture capturing his back, he does appear to be good looking! Tall, lean. Blond? Or light brown?

 

What a shame he was a total crook, eh?

[Tristan Thinks]

Even with the picture capturing his back, he does appear to be good looking! Tall, lean. Blond? Or light brown?

 

What a shame he was a total crook, eh?

Dark blond with a buzz cut, nice even deep tan, great washboard abs, wonderfully seductive smile and piercing gaze that caused butterflies in my tummy when I caught his eye at the match.

 

When I knew he was going to be in court I was sorely tempted to ask the judge to sentence him to spend 2 years living with me, undergoing intensive 24-hour supervision and getting him out of his bad habits

[colinian]

Personal/Relationships: None

Internet: None

The World: Heights, but only selective heights.

 

Flying in an airplane? Nope. Relaxing.

Riding the highest, fastest, "scariest" rollercoasters like Tatsu and X at Magic Mountain? Nada. No problemo.

Bungee jumping off a bridge: No. Piece of cake.

Skydiving: Nyet. Easy does it!

 

Standing at the edge of a cliff with nothing between me and falling to my death? Aack! Get me OUT of here!

 

Now, if I can bungee jump, or skydive by jumping out of an airplane, or ride Tatsu three times in a row, why don't those scare the bejesus out of me? Because I'm attached to something! If I'm out hiking and there's a deep chasm, I'm not attached to anything; there's only my two feet standing on perhaps unstable ground. OMG! I jump back to safety SO fast you'd better not be behind me.

 

Sounds weird, I know. But I'm sort of weird (and proud to admit it), so I don't worry about it and it doesn't bother me.

 

Colin

[Tiff]

Dark blond with a buzz cut, nice even deep tan, great washboard abs, wonderfully seductive smile and piercing gaze that caused butterflies in my tummy when I caught his eye at the match.

 

When I knew he was going to be in court I was sorely tempted to ask the judge to sentence him to spend 2 years living with me, undergoing intensive 24-hour supervision and getting him out of his bad habits

The good looking ones are the ones that cause trouble. But hey now, suggesting your idea of social rehabilitation to the judge mihgt not have been a bad idea. I'm surprised you didn't- I bet you could have made a good, serious, and convincing case!

[Kurt]

Personal & Relationships:

I picked that my boyfriend will cheat, and I picked other. I have this terrible irrational fear that my boyfriend really does not like me... it really sucks! I know that it is totally stupid, but I cannot help but feel that way.

 

The World Around You:

I picked other... I have this terrible irrational fear of chalk... yeah chalk. Chalk is freaky!

 

The Internet:

 

I picked 'I don't have any.'

Edited March 1, 2008 by Kurt

[AFriendlyFace]

The World Around You:

I picked other... I have this terrible irrational fear of chalk... yeah chalk. Chalk is freaky!

I don't like the way it feels. I hate the way construction paper feels too! Needless to say sometimes I was really irritated with art projects when I was a kid.

[Ieshwar]

Perosnal & Relationship- I picked 'Partner leaving' and 'Other'. I don't know but I always feel like I wouldn't be a good father. It scares and depresses me. I feel it's genetic. All the males in my family line has been rather lousy as father, each in its own way. With a few exceptions. I know it's weird and I have loads of time. But it's here.

 

World- Snakes and other- LIZARDS!!! Lizards should be exterminated from the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Internet- None!

 

Surprised no one said about CJ's evilest cliffhangers...

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[Former Member]

Personal & Other Relationships: We so had to to choose the cheating its been done sooo many times *coughs* actually just twice but feels like enough times and when they cheated on me i was "The Other Man" though they were cheating on me with girls and anything else with 2 legs lol. So my fear is like EVERYONE i date will cheat on me or i will be like the side dish the appetizer if you will. I also have this fear when im in a relationship if the man says that he will protect me and take care of me. i dont really know why but when they say that it scares the crap outta me and i will be like "I dont need you protecting me" and i feel like they want to be Possessive and own me. And then whoever im with at the time will be like "Mattie im not your father! Im not your ex's i wont hurt you" and i'll turn to them and cry and be like "You just did!" And this is like a pattern im in EVERYONE of my guy friends online or in real life has been doing this. Another fear i have is people throwing around "I love you" and not actually meaning it.

 

The World around me: I chose snakes but thats because at 4 years old we had a garden and it was always full of snakes. Then years later when i was walking in a mountian i almost had a snake bite my ankle. Man did i run! Im also really nervous in crowded areas if im by myself. Me and my 1 friend will go for coffee and if theres lots of people i will play with my hair or play with something anything lol. Its not a fear of OH EVERYONES LOOKING AT ME its just "Oh god theres alot of people". If im in a mall i dont care how many people are there because i feel more blended in plus im there to shop and shopping makes me happy. I just hate places when they are really loud or if i feel like someone if listening in on my conversations then i will talk louder and be like "Dont want you to strain your ears!"*i think that part inside my head*

[Tiger]

Surprised no one said about CJ's evilest cliffhangers...

 

I don't fear them. I actually love them. Unfortunately, I know nothing about creating such scenarios myself, so I leave it to the masters.

Edited March 5, 2008 by TL The Writing Tiger

[Katica Locke]

Personal & Other Relationships: That I'm being toyed with, that I'm going to invest more into the relationship than he does and that it's going to hurt when he leaves. So I hold back and leave him before he can leave me. I have major trust issues. I blame my mother

 

The World: Heights: I don't mind being up high, but I cannot climb a ladder to save my life, not even a step-stool to get something out of a high cupboard. I also have this irrational fear that everyone is judging me and that I'm going to make a fool of myself. I might have social anxiety disorder.

 

Internet: Not really. Maybe identity theft, but I'm pretty careful.

[Razor]

OKAY!

 

So, first off, you must know how my brain works. I do not think of one thing at a time. At all times, there are several lines of thought happening in my head. There's my internal MP3 player (I think of a song and it plays in my head), there's what I'm doing at that moment, and there's always at least one issue being mulled over. These have the potential to spawn side-thoughts, contributing to the really complicated network of things going on in my head at all times. Thus, when someone asks me to explain something or if they ask me what I'm thinking and I'm like "don't worry about it", then it's usually because it would take me forever to explain all the random thoughts that contributed.

 

Second, I've got classic generalized anxiety. I worry about anything and everything. Then, I worry about the fact that I'm worrying, and then I worry about whether or not that's healthy, and then I worry that I'm just making myself worse by worrying, and then I worry about the fact that that's an insane loop of circular logic.

 

I have TONS of irrational fears. Let's list some!

1.) My jeans look funny. This one sounds dumb, but you have to realize that I'm short, and they don't make jeans for short people, so the cut of some means that they bunch at the bottom, and then I obsess over the way they look, and if they don't feel like they're sitting just right over my shoes it drives me nuts, and I've been known to change jeans three times a day when that particular one annoys me.

2.) Someone has a low opinion of me. Unless I can clearly see that a person admires/approves/is generally positive toward me, it drives me insane.

3.) Let's just go ahead and toss in a big bundle of "someone is looking at me and I look weird" fears. They're like the jeans thing, only they're all highly developed like the jeans thing, haha. For instance, there's the one about my fingernails, which I bite out of habit, and hate when people look at my hands. Or the one about my teeth, or my eyebrows, or the way I will NOT take off my shirt unless I am assured that no one will see me, until I am extraordinarily comfortable around that person. It's complicated, but I told you these things are highly developed.

4.) Fear of stagnation. I have an urgent need to be making constant progress. If I'm not making progress, it not only feels like I'm staying still, it feels like I'm falling back.

5.) Fear of abnormality. I think or do something, and then I worry about whether or not my actions were normal.

 

 

Awww, hell, I can keep going. Point is, yeah, I'm a freak, hehe, but it's fun! I mean, I have a lot of things that bother me and worry me, but I deal. Pretty much all of my major fears are irrational. Oh, and I hate driving. Can't stand driving, I don't know why it bothers me so much exactly, but it's quite unnerving unless I know exactly where I'm going and have driven there before. Umm...

 

I have the fear that I'm getting stupider, haha. Sometimes I feel like a complete idiot compared to how intelligent I used to feel, so that's a relatively new one. Meh, anyway, all of my irrational fears aren't that bad I think. I've learned how to deal with the anxiety issues, and generally it's just about finding a methodical and practical way of coping with the things that bother me.

 

I ask a friend if my jeans look right, or if something I did that I'm worrying about was appropriate, etc. That way, I'm forming more connections with a person, helping to keep my anxiety to a minimum, and usually giving them a good giggle or two along the way. I don't know how I manage it, but sometimes when I get to explaining these sorts of things to a friend it gets really hilarious. So I guess my main method of coping is replacing anxiety with reinforcement from friends/family. Works for me, anyway.

 

 

But see then, there's the big one about making sure that people think what I want them to think about me, and that's a tricky one, so I gotta be careful about coping with that one... like how this post is sorta contradictory to the way I think I want people to think of me, because I want to come off as confident and intelligent, but I feel like a goofy whacko inside, so I just have to settle for being genuine a lot of the time instead of attempting to play people. I think they usually end up helping you a lot more that way, anyway. And now I'm ranting.... so bye!

[Tristan Thinks]

Oh dear god this is going to be a fun post. (editing.... my computer thinks I pushed enter when I push the play button on my compy.... O.o)

Fear of the buttons not doing what they ought?

[Razor]

Fear of the buttons not doing what they ought?

MY BIGGEST SECRET!!!! WHO TOLD YOU?!?!?!

 

I do that a lot... hit my play button on the laptop while writing a post and for some reason it submits it when I do that. ~shrug~ And damn those buttons. ~hides from them~

[Tristan Thinks]

I do that a lot... hit my play button on the laptop while writing a post and for some reason it submits it when I do that. ~shrug~ And damn those buttons. ~hides from them~

It does it because in many multimedia applications the Play key is 'Enter'. The multimedia keys simply cause the same keystroke to be generated, so if the web browser has focus when you press the Play key, the key-press is sent to the web-browser. Well-behaved drivers and multimedia applications should deal with it properly, but there are lots of examples of it being done the cheap way like this.

[AFriendlyFace]

I have TONS of irrational fears. Let's list some!

1.) My jeans look funny. This one sounds dumb, but you have to realize that I'm short, and they don't make jeans for short people, so the cut of some means that they bunch at the bottom, and then I obsess over the way they look, and if they don't feel like they're sitting just right over my shoes it drives me nuts, and I've been known to change jeans three times a day when that particular one annoys me.

I'm sure your jeans look great! Slightly too long jeans are kinda cute IMO.

2.) Someone has a low opinion of me. Unless I can clearly see that a person admires/approves/is generally positive toward me, it drives me insane.

Well just so you know I admire and approve of you and all around have positive feelings toward you. Seriously, I am saying this because I just read that, but I honestly mean it too

4.) Fear of stagnation. I have an urgent need to be making constant progress. If I'm not making progress, it not only feels like I'm staying still, it feels like I'm falling back.

I feel ya on this one!

5.) Fear of abnormality. I think or do something, and then I worry about whether or not my actions were normal.

Ohhh, I have the opposite fear! I can't stand to feel "normal", "typical" or worse "average". Give me "abnormal", "unique", "odd" (this is probably my favourite ), or even "weird" any day!

 

There's a quote I quite like:

 

Remember, you're special...just like everyone else.

 

 

 

-Kevin

Edited March 8, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Tiger]

MY BIGGEST SECRET!!!! WHO TOLD YOU?!?!?!

 

I do that a lot... hit my play button on the laptop while writing a post and for some reason it submits it when I do that. ~shrug~ And damn those buttons. ~hides from them~

It took me a week to get used to my laptop keyboard. Ugh... now I can't even type on the desktop. Doesn anyone else have that problem? I can only be comfortable with one keyboard at a time.