Book of Heroes: George of Sedona I

[David McLeod]

Okay, David, you don't want KoC? Fine. The story is, however, progressing quite nicely!

 

Actually, I was hoping for a more, um, regal title. Just kidding. I'm content to be read. Thanks for doing so.

[gardentuber]

As the boys travel towards Eblis they're feeling the susurrus of evil washing over the mountainous border. They've begun to get tetchy. It's a relief to see them reacting in such unwelcome but human behaviors. They're just regular (magical) guys. No goody-two-shoes, they!

 

"Hmmm. In part because David still has trouble writing transitions showing the passage of time. Sigh."

 

Yeah, I've been told I am too attached to practicalities and the prosaic, that I'm too 1st chakra, but having an idea of the passage of time in a story helps me feel settled. Those prosaic elements: how do the characters manage their finances (income and expenditures)? where are they in the passage of time (where's the sun? what season is it? how many annual cycles have passed?) how do they find sustenance? Those elements ground the story and give me a sense of the physicality of the narrative. The story takes has bones, muscle, viscera.

 

While you may feel challenged communicating the passage of time, you certainly keep us grounded in the culinary experiences of the quartet, from watery stews to near beer, pemmican to amber ale.

 

Another note: thanks for the vocabulary lessons. I can usually find a word in a chapter that sends me to the dictionary. And what's even cooler... you offer a definition of new words at the bottom of the chapter. Is that cool or what?!

 

Before closing: thanks as always for your time and trouble in "translating" these stories for us. And thanks for your generosity in sharing your thoughts in this forum!

[TalonRider]

Occasionally, David does mention a time of year. If I remember correctly, time passes differently on World to the world George is from.

[David McLeod]

...having an idea of the passage of time in a story helps me feel settled. Those prosaic elements: how do the characters manage their finances (income and expenditures)? where are they in the passage of time (where's the sun? what season is it? how many annual cycles have passed?) how do they find sustenance? Those elements ground the story and give me a sense of the physicality of the narrative. The story takes has bones, muscle, viscera.

 

Once again, you show your perspicacity (definition: insight and wisdom)

 

Often, it is the seemingly small details that make a story seem grounded (real); where they are obviously missing, glossed over, of too unbelievable, it becomes difficult for the reader to suspend disbelief. On the other hand, I don't want to dwell too much on finances. I figure David, as a healer, can probably earn a living just about anywhere, for example. I don't dwell on weather or seasons except where they are relevant (at least, I hope I don't), but since George and Company live out-of-doors often, weather does tend to play a significant role. I like your metaphor of bones, muscle, and viscera. Thanks, once again, for your thoughts.

 

 

If I remember correctly, time passes differently on World to the world George is from.

 

It's not so much that time passes differently, as it is that the year on World is 400 days, and the gates may drift in time. I've probably given the impression that time passes differently because of my continued difficulty expressing the passage of time. Still working on that!

[David McLeod]

A favor is returned; George and his friends find others to travel with, along the treacherous Iron Mountain Road. However, not all danger is left behind. Chapter 26, "The Rom," of the story Book of Heroes: George of Sedona has been posted. Please join this discussion forum or send an email to boh.translators@gmail.com

Enjoy!

[David McLeod]

George and his companions reach the seaside city of Barrone, home to a College of Magic. It seems that they are finally in a place of safety, but appearances can be misleading. Chapter 26, "College of Magic," of the story Book of Heroes: George of Sedona has been posted to eFiction.

 

Please send your thoughts by email to boh.translators@gmail.com, by PM to David McLeod on the Gay Authors site, or here in the discussion forum.

 

Thank you.

[TalonRider]

It seems that the danger is closing in as the Gnome gets closer. And it appears that he's starting to use Blood Magic. That can't be good for our companions.

[David McLeod]

An old enemy continues to pursue George and his companions while George deals with problems of growing up. You will find the story here: Book of Heroes: George of Sedona. Please leave a review, send a PM or email to boh.translators@gmail.com, or join the discussion forum. Thank you!

[KJames]

Your shorter chapters are more packed with suspense and emotion! Chapter 28 has some good relationship scenes with much narration, but gets right back to the action with the suspense at the end, and the mysterious cliffhanger again!

[David McLeod]

George makes a remarkable discovery while reading his copy of "The Book of Heroes," sending him and his companions on an adventure on which they meet old friends and discover new enemies. The story, Book of Heroes: George of Sedona, concludes with Chapter 29, "The Battle of Glaber." Please leave a review, send a PM on this site or an email to boh.translators@gmail.com, or leave a comment in this discussion forum.

 

Thank you to all those people who've read this story, and especially to those who've left their thoughts, questions, or comments.

[hh5]

I skimed the chapter - nice that they all met up.

Too bad us readers didn't get more re-union time.

oh so I like mushy stuff - old friends getting together - it doesn't happen that often.

 

Its weird that they split up. Going back to Barrone. I guess when you made this world your home. The place that took you in.

Nice in all this time (20 yrs?) that they learned certainly a lot.

 

The book of heroes sure is mean in changing authors.

 

I'm not sure how old Georged aged.

 

That cliff hanger sure did leave another book to bring them all back for another go.

Since the war has not yet begun.

 

Its funny David trying to make sense of the faith issue.

 

Its interesting that the college mage didn't pick up on the magic that brought Marty and Chandler to George.

Its real interesting that they appeared as George appeared.

[David McLeod]

...Too bad us readers didn't get more re-union time.

oh so I like mushy stuff - old friends getting together - it doesn't happen that often.

 

As the war draws closer, everything speeds up. There will be less and less time for the good things of life. That's just the way of (the) World. On the other hand, things will be more intense, too, so there is, even in this, Balance.

Its weird that they split up. Going back to Barrone. I guess when you made this world your home. The place that took you in...

 

George and Marty were acquainted, but not friends. While George and Chandler did have an intensely emotional bonding experience, it merely laid the ghost of George's former boyfriend to rest. You are right in that Marty and Chandler had made World their home but, more important, they had deep ties to Barrone despite the deaths of all their friends.

 

I'm not sure how old George aged...

 

In the 20+ years George has been on World, he has grown from an 18-year-old who was small for his age into an 18-year-old who about the right size for his age. He would appear (even at a physical age of more than 40) to be a handsome, athletic, self-assured, late-teenager with somewhat unruly black hair, and violet eyes.

 

That cliffhanger sure did leave another book to bring them all back for another go.

 

Rather than a cliffhanger, I think it's just the way of (the) World. As George and his companions have learned, they are forever soldiers in the Forever Fight between Light and Dark, Good and Evil. The real question is whether their further adventures are worth the trouble to translate and interpret.

 

Its funny David trying to make sense of the faith issue.

 

David was subjected for many years, as a young child, to the "discipling" and "disciplining" of a fundamental, evangelical religious group. Despite his later education and training, the things this group taught him remain ingrained in him. In addition to fighting the more obvious Evil on World, David is constantly fighting this more insidious evil within himself.

 

Its interesting that the college mage didn't pick up on the magic that brought Marty and Chandler to George.

 

It's probably because of the distance. The "inverse square law" applies on World and to magic. The sound of the gate to the "ears" of a mage would diminish with the square of the distance. It's also possible that the mage at the college wasn't particularly sensitive to that manifestation of magic.

 

Its real interesting that they appeared as George...

 

I think you mean that it's interesting that George immediately recognized both Marty and "Rocky." There's no doubt that despite his growth, they recognized him, as well. With a lifespan measured in hundreds of years, a boyhood measured in decades, and "teen-age" years likewise measured in decades, it's likely that neither Marty nor Rocky's appearance had changed significantly. (Except, of course, that Rudy had probably managed to get Marty a better haircut.)

 

Thank you for reading, and for your thoughts. Be well, be happy...

[Linxe Termoil]

Hey! Not fair! We want more, the crowd demands it or they shall riot! With Chandler and Marty joining the group, and all the others, joining together for one last grand ol' fight, western style! May the best tweens and boys win!

 

 

Jon

 

~who's subtly planning out his fanfic riot scene, to be posted when he works out the numerous stories going through his head

[ricky]

Ok David.

Just finished George of Sedona.

 

Two and a half things bugged me about the story as far as continuity goes.

 

First: Endymion What happened to him? One moment you are tending to his need, you have the battle and the next thing I know you are in another city. :read:There was no closure there. Later you intimate that possibly 20 years had passed but Endymion never caught up with them. Certainly he would not be left behind.

 

Second. One Moment David and George are talking about Marty and Chandler being frozen /actually though escaping through a doorway presumably ending up at the ren Fair that started this quest. The next thing we know they are having breakfast together :ph34r:and like Chandler killed Kevin?

 

I see now about the rewrite. Personally if I was doing it I would remove all biblical reference. It was just too grounding and lent nothing to the storyline.

 

and the half.

One other thing that made me a little nuts was all the scientific banter where they lacked the scientific means to measure or quantify it. Granted magic could do a lot of it but references were perhaps expressed too scientifically for the point of reference available to the society at hand. I think if you could make the expressions more analogis to the mental aptitude of the society it would add more to it. Atomic, sub atomic and quantum could not be fathomed by anyone without a point of reference or the means by which to discover the means to measure it. In short, that which can not be measured can not be managed.

 

I rather likes the approach to the bacteria and viruses and parasites however bacteria and viruses would be seen much the same.

 

I still hold that this should be the first story because I grew in the persona of the society on world and became accustomed to the mindset.:2hands:

 

You have made me an addict. Your stories are zwillicious. (That reminds me lose the crystal. Again it is a scientific drug. Just use opium and Heroin.)

 

Those are "my" thoughts and opinions and we know all about opinions. They are like assholes. Everyone's got one.

 

[David McLeod]

Ricky,

Thank you for your very detailed and useful feedback. You know that I admire your stories, especially "Tears of the Dragon Boy," which I've just started. Your thoughts are, therefore, most welcome.

 

...Just finished George of Sedona. Two and a half things bugged me about the story as far as continuity goes.

 

First: Endymion What happened to him?...Certainly he would not be left behind...

 

Endymion was apprenticed to the local College of Magic...an arduous apprenticeship lasting decades. I expect to see him, again, but only after considerable time has passed.

 

Second. One Moment David and George are talking about Marty and Chandler being frozen...

 

"Master of Fire" is not well integrated with "George of Sedona," and it does need to be. That's the source of the problem. (I hope it's the only source.)

I see now about the rewrite. Personally if I was doing it I would remove all biblical reference. It was just too grounding and lent nothing to the storyline.

 

Yep. Nothing worse than lecturing the reader through the mouth of a character. On the other hand, David's experience in an evangelical orphanage was a significant factor in his development. Need some balance, here.

 

One other thing that made me a little nuts was all the scientific banter where they lacked the scientific means to measure or quantify it...

 

David studied chemistry and physics, and his knowledge of Maxwell's equations is key to his understanding of World's magic. George studied general science in high school (twice, in fact), so they are communicating in terms they both understand. On the other hand, balance is needed here, as well.

 

I rather likes the approach to the bacteria and viruses and parasites however bacteria and viruses would be seen much the same.

 

Yes, I think you're right about that.

 

I still hold that this should be the first story because I grew in the persona of the society on world and became accustomed to the mindset.

 

The conundrum: How much of the mechanics and science of magic need to be included? Is it sufficient to dismiss it as an analogue of Earth's electromagnetic field that can be controlled ("woven") by sound and gesture (perhaps thought, as well), or is the detail ("physical, chemical, quantum") necessary? I'm still working on that one; thanks for your thoughts. (This becomes more important if "George..." is to be the first story read...the concepts will carry over into other stories, as well.)

 

You have made me an addict. Your stories are zwillicious. (That reminds me lose the crystal [meth]. Again it is a scientific drug. Just use opium and Heroin.)

 

This is another instance of David and George using analogies and examples from their common experience on Earth (or an Earth-analogue). I think the real question is when should they cease doing this and rely strictly on notions and concepts that are endemic to World. You've raised an interesting point: from the reader's perspective, does an Earth example clarify a point or does it burst the "bubble of reality" that you mentioned elsewhere?

Those are "my" thoughts and opinions and we know all about opinions. They are like assholes. Everyone's got one.

 

Thank you, again, for your thoughts and opinions. There are degrees of quality to everything.

[ricky]

. . .especially "Tears of the Dragon Boy,"

 

 

Shhh! Thanks, but I haven't posted that on here.

[AndyMac]

Great Read, thanks.