[Jian Sierra] Subtle Beauty

[Bleu]

Ahhhh, this "like a brother" comment is always such a killer! (sorry, but I think I've seen it in another story before)

You could even have finished on that once sentence, and done without the last two -- which are fine, by the way. Finishing on "alone" was very appropriate.

 

Anwyay, Mich is lying with that last comment, right ?

[MikeL]

Subtle Beauty is a great story. I really enjoyed chapter 7. Surely Cooper and Mich will start a real conversation soon about their feelings for each other. One of them has to take the first step.

 

Keep up the good work, John.

[jian_sierra]

I just love Subtle Beauty. I contend to be your biggest fan!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Every chapter I love Coop more. And Mich is awesome, too. Get cracking on eight, please. I can't wait.

 

Whoa, no way! I'm your biggest fan hehe.

 

I'll try to write Chapter 8 although I think it's going to be a hard chapter to write.

 

Thanks, Anyta for all your help on this story

[jian_sierra]

Ahhhh, this "like a brother" comment is always such a killer! (sorry, but I think I've seen it in another story before)

You could even have finished on that once sentence, and done without the last two -- which are fine, by the way. Finishing on "alone" was very appropriate.

 

Anwyay, Mich is lying with that last comment, right ?

 

Aw and I hoped I was being a bit original when I wrote that part

 

I just can't picture a lying Mich, no. Especially not to Coop. If I can venture a guess, I think he's confused.

 

Thanks, Bleu, for reading and for your feedback

[jian_sierra]

Subtle Beauty is a great story. I really enjoyed chapter 7. Surely Cooper and Mich will start a real conversation soon about their feelings for each other. One of them has to take the first step.

 

Keep up the good work, John.

 

Well the relationship between the two will be strange in the next chapter. I'm seeing a lot of internal struggle for Coop. And Mich will be more confused than ever.

 

Thanks, Mike for all your encouragements and support. Very much appreciated

[Bleu]

Aw and I hoped I was being a bit original when I wrote that part

 

I just can't picture a lying Mich, no. Especially not to Coop. If I can venture a guess, I think he's confused.

 

 

Don't worry, Mich's comment was spot on. A guy is expected to like another guy like a friend, or to love him like a brother. Mich could hardly say "like a lover". Not yet anyway

And you're right, he's obviously not lying to hurt Coop. Confused it has to be.

Edited September 28, 2010 by Bleu

[canundra]

I like the story, but there's something I don't get.

 

Coop said in Chapter 1 to Vern, "Mich is hot."

 

But in Chapter 2 we find out he's not out to his best friend? I know the story hints that Vern already knows (and is possibly saddened by this), but no closeted man would say a guy is hot. At least, I would never had done that when I was deep in the closet.

 

Anyways, great story. Can't wait for Chapter 8.

[jian_sierra]

I like the story, but there's something I don't get.

 

Coop said in Chapter 1 to Vern, "Mich is hot."

 

But in Chapter 2 we find out he's not out to his best friend? I know the story hints that Vern already knows (and is possibly saddened by this), but no closeted man would say a guy is hot. At least, I would never had done that when I was deep in the closet.

 

Anyways, great story. Can't wait for Chapter 8.

 

Hey canundra, thanks for your feedback. I hope this simple explanation helps: Coop has no control over what he says sometimes. He sometimes say things he thought he was saying in his head.

 

And I don't think Coop is closeted, well at least not strictly. For me, a closeted guy is someone who knows he's gay, but chose not to let others know. Coop, on the other hand, is new to this. He's trying to accept his homosexuality or forced into accepting it because of his feelings for Mich.

 

Hope that helps. Thanks for reading

 

John

[jian_sierra]

Yay Chapter 8 is posted at last.

 

So I really need your feedback on this one. Do you feel that SB is nearing its end or just barely beginning?

 

Thanks to all those who are still reading

 

John

[AnytaSunday]

Yay Chapter 8 is posted at last.

 

So I really need your feedback on this one. Do you feel that SB is nearing its end or just barely beginning?

 

Thanks to all those who are still reading

 

John

 

Barely beginning. Honestly, I think this is about a third of the way through. There's still so much I want to find out. Like the mystery surrounding Coop's circumstances and what's up with Mich's parents. How will they take their coming out? If they tell, when and how would they do that? Do they have troubles at school? Will they keep their relationship a secret? What something spills the beans for them? how do they react? Do they grow together and stick with eachother, or does one get scared and break off the relationship, only to realize it was a big mistake and must show the other that in fact, they do want to be with them? There are just sooooo many ways this could expand, but personally, I want to see some of the growth in their relationship. How nervous are they to be with each other, touch each other? What weird and wonderful feelings jazz their insides when they hold hands the first time? Kiss? Other things ?

 

I want to know more about what was going through Mich's head this whole time. Was he really upset Vern broke up with him? When was the first time he realized what he wanted with Coop? Is this just curiousity? Infatuation? Will it turn into love?

 

So many things. I hope you will explore a little bit more.

 

I'm having so much fun with this story. Keep going with it.

[jian_sierra]

Barely beginning. Honestly, I think this is about a third of the way through. There's still so much I want to find out. Like the mystery surrounding Coop's circumstances and what's up with Mich's parents. How will they take their coming out? If they tell, when and how would they do that? Do they have troubles at school? Will they keep their relationship a secret? What something spills the beans for them? how do they react? Do they grow together and stick with eachother, or does one get scared and break off the relationship, only to realize it was a big mistake and must show the other that in fact, they do want to be with them? There are just sooooo many ways this could expand, but personally, I want to see some of the growth in their relationship. How nervous are they to be with each other, touch each other? What weird and wonderful feelings jazz their insides when they hold hands the first time? Kiss? Other things ?

 

I want to know more about what was going through Mich's head this whole time. Was he really upset Vern broke up with him? When was the first time he realized what he wanted with Coop? Is this just curiousity? Infatuation? Will it turn into love?

 

So many things. I hope you will explore a little bit more.

 

I'm having so much fun with this story. Keep going with it.

 

I feel that way too. There's still so many I can do with this story. I was just checking whether people are still interested to read more. From the way things are, I can wrap this up at Chapter 10, but without exploring the relationship between Coop and Mich in depth. If it were up to me, I'd like to read (ok write) more about Coop and Mich's journey toward having a relationship. This is a romance story after all

 

As for Mich's thoughts, I'm still learning to write so I probably can't shift perspective yet. I'll try to put it into dialogue though now that they are supposed to be dating *wink-wink*

 

Will this turn into love? Hm, all I'm going to say is that I'm a romantic.

 

Thanks for all your help on this story Anyta. You really do make this story better

 

John

[Agaith]

You had better explore their relationship mister! I love this story for me it is only just beginning.

Please write more?

[Bleu]

Ditto to what Anyta wrote. I love the romance stories you write, so I definitely want more.

 

Hopefully, Coop should move out of this awkward -- cute but awkward -- phase now. The way he managed to say "I like you" and then "resent" in the next sentence makes me wonder whether he can fully embrace his attraction to Mich. He has a way to wrap the positive within the negative that makes me cringe. I hope he can mature and bloom.

[jian_sierra]

You had better explore their relationship mister! I love this story for me it is only just beginning.

Please write more?

 

Well writing two more chapters is 'more', right?

[jian_sierra]

Ditto to what Anyta wrote. I love the romance stories you write, so I definitely want more.

 

Hopefully, Coop should move out of this awkward -- cute but awkward -- phase now. The way he managed to say "I like you" and then "resent" in the next sentence makes me wonder whether he can fully embrace his attraction to Mich. He has a way to wrap the positive within the negative that makes me cringe. I hope he can mature and bloom.

 

I definitely agree, he needs to mature. Hopefully, Mich can help him. But what if Mich needs help in dealing with this too? They'll help each other? That is just so sweet

[AnytaSunday]

As for Mich's thoughts, I'm still learning to write so I probably can't shift perspective yet. I'll try to put it into dialogue though now that they are supposed to be dating *wink-wink*

 

Will this turn into love? Hm, all I'm going to say is that I'm a romantic.

Yup, keep it from Coop's perspective. I meant show what was going on for Mich through dialogue. I'm just super curious, as I'm sure Coop would be too.

 

Hehe, yay that you're a romantic! Can't wait for the rest.

[Agaith]

I definitely agree, he needs to mature. Hopefully, Mich can help him. But what if Mich needs help in dealing with this too? They'll help each other? That is just so sweet

 

 

Sounds as though you dont know yourself what is going to happen

(Although that's rich coming from me when it comes to my story )

[jian_sierra]

Sounds as though you dont know yourself what is going to happen

(Although that's rich coming from me when it comes to my story )

 

Yeah. I don't usually know what will happen until I sit down and write about it. I have a general idea where the story will go, but the details are a little fuzzy hehe

[jian_sierra]

Well this might come as a shock, but I have been thinking about this for a while. Would really appreciate your thoughts:

 

 

How would you feel if one of the character dies? This is not an accidental death, more like a disease which the character has known for some time, but chose to hide it from everybody else.

 

 

Thanks,

 

John

[hh5]

Its a fact of life that happens ... there is a lot or little to explore of your choice ... just saw on haven ... the police chief hid his troubles ... the son of the police chief now lost two dads ... I am sure there will be exploration of the loss ... and exploration to continue with life ... in the face of more troubles to come.

 

If this is something your characters needs to explore ... that's fine...

 

Well this might come as a shock, but I have been thinking about this for a while. Would really appreciate your thoughts:

 

 

How would you feel if one of the character dies? This is not an accidental death, more like a disease which the character has known for some time, but chose to hide it from everybody else.

 

 

Thanks,

 

John

 

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Well this might come as a shock, but I have been thinking about this for a while. Would really appreciate your thoughts:

 

 

How would you feel if one of the character dies? This is not an accidental death, more like a disease which the character has known for some time, but chose to hide it from everybody else.

 

 

Thanks,

 

John

 

Wow, do you want the answer in a spoiler? I will do it that way just in case.

 

 

 

 

I was going to say it depends on the character but in reality, it won't really matter - it will make for a powerful and emotional situation. Not everything ends well - except in novels it seems. Some times things happen, and writing about it would be a different experience, so would reading about it. While it would be sad, it is a fact of life that these things happen so it would certainly give an emotional charge to the story, especially if it is a main character. It won't destroy the story, but it will move it away from where most of us - I am assuming this from the comments - believe it is going. That is not bad, it just is. If you feel that is where it is going, let it take you there.

 

 

 

[AnytaSunday]

Well this might come as a shock, but I have been thinking about this for a while. Would really appreciate your thoughts:

 

 

How would you feel if one of the character dies? This is not an accidental death, more like a disease which the character has known for some time, but chose to hide it from everybody else.

 

 

Thanks,

 

John

 

 

I made a point not to read anyone else's view on this. No. This cannot happen. This is such a beautiful sweet romance. My personal thought is this would be heartbreaking and as a reader we have not been set up to prepare for that eventuality AT ALL (Unless I've missed something). My reaction on this could change, but my immediate response was to answer this way--I couldn't even wait to put my lasagne in the oven first. Had to reply.

[jian_sierra]

To be honest, I don't want to do it, but I cannot purge the idea from my head. Now I feel like I'm controlling the story because maybe it's possible so I'm entertaining the thought and see where it takes me. I love happy endings, but I like realism as well.

[AnytaSunday]

To be honest, I don't want to do it, but I cannot purge the idea from my head. Now I feel like I'm controlling the story because maybe it's possible so I'm entertaining the thought and see where it takes me. I love happy endings, but I like realism as well.

 

Realism is all good. (though, escapism also has its place ) -- still, I feel that shouldn't be the reason to have what you've outlined in the spoiler happen. If you choose that, then I think it should be to capture those powerful emotions.

 

If it's just realism you want for the story, then--

 

 

other things could happen. They fall apart. Temptation is thrown into the mix. Coop does something stupid. They discover they are better off as friends and keep friends for a long time, but each have their own relationships. Or, maybe this is only experimentation for Mich, totally devastating Coop, but somehow they learn to be friends. Or maybe this story is just a snapshot in their lives--and the romance is wonderful and beautiful and Coop and Mich both think it could last forever, but in the end the go off to separate colleges--so we are left with their love-felt-full-of-promises goodbye, and the readership can decide for themselves if the long distance works or not. The romantics, *cough-me-cough, will imagine that things do work out. Others, more realistic, perhaps, will see this story for what it is. A beautiful moment--months. First love--but just that--first love...

 

 

anyway, these are just thoughts....

 

[Andrew Q Gordon]

To be honest, I don't want to do it, but I cannot purge the idea from my head. Now I feel like I'm controlling the story because maybe it's possible so I'm entertaining the thought and see where it takes me. I love happy endings, but I like realism as well.

 

I idea of killing a character is massively hard, in some ways it is like cutting off a part of yourself, especially if you have spent a long time working with him or her. It is incredibly hard to let go - and incredibly moving as well. I am not sure if you read "Front Runner' by Patricia Neal but if you haven't I suggest you do so. I don't want to spoil it, but it is a tear jerker. Louis thinks it is the best gay sport's novel ever written, and I am not sure I can disagree - while sports is a theme, the sports part will not put you off if you don't like sports.

 

Anyway, I know what you mean - how it is a huge struggle. In the end only you can decide what to do - yeah I know that is a lot of help.