[Jian Sierra] Subtle Beauty

[Caedus]

Well this might come as a shock, but I have been thinking about this for a while. Would really appreciate your thoughts:

 

 

How would you feel if one of the character dies? This is not an accidental death, more like a disease which the character has known for some time, but chose to hide it from everybody else.

 

 

Thanks,

 

John

 

 

 

Go for it. I'm not much of a romantic, so injections of realism help give stories a more complete picture, imo. Oh! Why don't you do this:

 

 

Often times stories in this genre paint a "happily ever after" picture, where the gay guy gets everything at the end of the story. We both know life can be just the opposite. Sometimes people are extremely unfortunate and just have to learn to move forward day by day. What I think you should do is take time to build up Coop and Mich, and drop the floor from under them both. Mich's grandfather gets sick and dies wasting away with a wires sticking out of his wasted body. Mich is, of course, crushed by the tragedy and circumstances get worse for the two so that their relationship doesn't survive the aftermath. Or you could make it so that Coop catches something serious and slowly succumbs to a disease. Mich can't handle and pulls away. Or maybe make it so that Coop "wakes up" from the moment and realizes its a dream. Both of them are what 17, 18? Maybe they both realize the hard way that committed relationships aren't easy, especially when both participants are new to it, and have bodies full of hormones....

 

 

Anyways, those are my thoughts. Hope you make a choice that appeals to your style.

[hh5]

I agree .. I already killed myself in one of my short stories ... it was hard ... it seriously affected the other character ... I didn't know that my story would come to that way ... but it did ... I am not sorry about it ... well maybe yes ... i am ... but it was also a hard subject matter.

 

Yes it affected me ... enough to speak through the othe character that has to deal with it.

 

I idea of killing a character is massively hard, in some ways it is like cutting off a part of yourself, especially if you have spent a long time working with him or her. ....

 

[AnytaSunday]

Oh God! Where's the support of the escapists--the romantics in this thread?! Lol.

 

Nah, all good points. Still, realism can be found without you know what happening to you know who.

 

*is still on board for whatever will come! I just can't help myself from trying to

save Coop

 

 

As you can tell, I'm totally emotionally invested in your characters.

[jian_sierra]

I have decided on an ending for SB. I just have to see whether it works for everyone or not. But the ending is not very important at this point. The important thing is the journey towards the ending, right?

[AnytaSunday]

I have decided on an ending for SB. I just have to see whether it works for everyone or not. But the ending is not very important at this point. The important thing is the journey towards the ending, right? ../../public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif

Spot on. I'm sure it's going to be great. I'm enjoying the journey so much.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

I have decided on an ending for SB. I just have to see whether it works for everyone or not. But the ending is not very important at this point. The important thing is the journey towards the ending, right?

 

 

Actually, you need to decide if it works for you because everyone won't agree, as witnessed by the different answers you got. As I understand it, you are letting this story evolve as it wants to evolve, that should dictate what happens not everyone else's opinion. So far you have done that very well. Why mess with a good thing?

[jian_sierra]

Hey guys,

 

I managed to have Chapter 9 posted, it's a miracle hehe. So nothing much happened in this chapter (well at least that's how I saw it), but I felt that this was still vital to the story so please bear with me. The good news is, in the next chapter, Mich will tell everything (well almost) to Coop. I can't wait to write what Mich has to say. So far, the following are the things Mich might discuss with Coop, please feel free to tell me what I might have missed:

 

• Why Mich likes Coop.
• How the feelings got developed.
• Will he ask Coop to be in the closet.
• How they will actually do the dating scene.
• Is he gay or what.
• If he's gay, does anyone else know.
• Does he plan on marrying Coop and live happily ever after (ok I made this up hehe).

Anyway, that's it. Thanks for all the support guys.

 

John

[Agaith]

Oh come on we've got to wait how long for the next chapter?!

There certainly are questions to be answered, I think off the top my head you've covered what I want answered as well (although some of the cannier peeps on here will do a better job of asking q's)

I really like this story and can''t wait for the next chapter

[AnytaSunday]

Hey John,

 

Loved this chapter.

 

I managed to have Chapter 9 posted, it's a miracle hehe. So nothing much happened in this chapter (well at least that's how I saw it), but I felt that this was still vital to the story so please bear with me. The good news is, in the next chapter, Mich will tell everything (well almost) to Coop. I can't wait to write what Mich has to say. So far, the following are the things Mich might discuss with Coop, please feel free to tell me what I might have missed:

I think that a lot has happened in this chapter. Coop has had an internal debate and come to a resolution at the end, accepting Mich really does like him.

 

As for the next part for what Mich has to say: Can't wait either!!!

• Why Mich likes Coop.
• How the feelings got developed.
• Will he ask Coop to be in the closet.
• How they will actually do the dating scene.
• Is he gay or what.
• If he's gay, does anyone else know.
• Does he plan on marrying Coop and live happily ever after (ok I made this up hehe).

Hehe, I like that last one--but probably won't happen in this next convo--unless it's cracking a joke?

 

I can't think of any further question at the moment, but I'll email if I do.

[AnytaSunday]

Hmmm, have no idea what computery hiccup happened there. Don't know how to fix it. Sorry. hehe.

[jian_sierra]

Oh come on we've got to wait how long for the next chapter?!

There certainly are questions to be answered, I think off the top my head you've covered what I want answered as well (although some of the cannier peeps on here will do a better job of asking q's)

I really like this story and can''t wait for the next chapter

 

After two weeks, that's how long hehe. I'm suffering from a strong bout of 'laziness' so that's the best I can offer for now. I spend the time conceptualizing what to write (well that's the excuse I give anyway, mainly I watch tv series and movies and read a novel).

 

Thanks for reading

[jian_sierra]

Hey John,

 

Loved this chapter.

 

 

 

I think that a lot has happened in this chapter. Coop has had an internal debate and come to a resolution at the end, accepting Mich really does like him.

 

As for the next part for what Mich has to say: Can't wait either!!!

Hehe, I like that last one--but probably won't happen in this next convo--unless it's cracking a joke?

 

I can't think of any further question at the moment, but I'll email if I do.

 

I'm sensing Mich might say something a bit hurtful. I just hope most of the things he would say would win Coop over

 

Thanks for all your support *hug*

[jian_sierra]

Hmmm, have no idea what computery hiccup happened there. Don't know how to fix it. Sorry. hehe.

 

No worries. These things happen

[MikeL]

Hey, John. Chapter 9 was great! Cooper is finally receiving a revelation from Mich that he didn't expect. As a bonus, he is learning to swim. Cool story.

[jian_sierra]

Hey, John. Chapter 9 was great! Cooper is finally receiving a revelation from Mich that he didn't expect. As a bonus, he is learning to swim. Cool story.

 

Hey Mike, thanks for reading. Mich is great, I hope that Coop won't make a fool of himself hehe. Well at least not make a fool of himself further

[jian_sierra]

Guys, Chapter 10 is posted (finally!). So it took me a while to write this because I'm on vacation. If it's any consolation, it's good to be back home with family and friends. I'm enjoying myself a lot. But I missed writing too so I just had to write Chapter 10 or I'll go crazy (ok so I exaggerate). So I'm curious to know what you guys think. Did I disappoint anyone? Please let me know whatever you think of the chapter. It would let me know that there's someone out there who reads this story (except Anyta and all because she's my editor hehe).

 

So thank you so much for reading,

 

John

[Bleu]

Oh, we're still very much reading your story

 

l like how it starts with a kiss, which in itself was a cliffhanger, and ends on a kiss and another cliffhanger. In-between you deliver more of Coop's worries and questions. It feels like he always tip-toes in the conversation. Except this time, he's actually getting straight (haha!) answers to some of his voiced and non-voiced questions. It's also nice to get to understand Mitch's side.

 

More more more please. We've been story-deprived for too long.

[Frostina]

. Did I disappoint anyone? Please let me know whatever you think of the chapter. It would let me know that there's someone out there who reads this story (except Anyta and all because she's my editor hehe).

 

So thank you so much for reading,

 

John

 

only Anyta?? i don't think so!!! The only disappointment was that we had to wait so long for Mitch's explanation!!

Nut now that we have it, i was prepared to be relieved.. but.. again.. Grandpa??

Please post the next one soon!!

 

Oh, we're still very much reading your story

 

l like how it starts with a kiss, which in itself was a cliffhanger, and ends on a kiss and another cliffhanger. In-between you deliver more of Coop's worries and questions. It feels like he always tip-toes in the conversation. Except this time, he's actually getting straight (haha!) answers to some of his voiced and non-voiced questions. It's also nice to get to understand Mitch's side.

 

More more more please. We've been story-deprived for too long.

 

I completely agree with Bleu and Ditto what he said!

[jian_sierra]

Oh, we're still very much reading your story

 

l like how it starts with a kiss, which in itself was a cliffhanger, and ends on a kiss and another cliffhanger. In-between you deliver more of Coop's worries and questions. It feels like he always tip-toes in the conversation. Except this time, he's actually getting straight (haha!) answers to some of his voiced and non-voiced questions. It's also nice to get to understand Mitch's side.

 

More more more please. We've been story-deprived for too long.

 

Hey Bleu, thanks for still reading. I guess I just worry that people gave up on me because it took me so long. Glad you're still reading. The next chapter will have to wait until my vacation is over. Cheers!

 

only Anyta?? i don't think so!!! The only disappointment was that we had to wait so long for Mitch's explanation!!

Nut now that we have it, i was prepared to be relieved.. but.. again.. Grandpa??

Please post the next one soon!!

 

 

 

I completely agree with Bleu and Ditto what he said!

 

Hey Frostina, really very appreciative of your support in my story. The next one will be posted, the only question is when hehe. Thank you very much

[jian_sierra]

I just now realize how long I've not done anything for SB because I had to search for this thread as I don't remember the last time I wrote on it. Anyway, another chapter of SB has been posted. Do you think it's overly dramatic? Moving on a slow pace? What do you think is Coop's secret? Is Grandpa's reaction believable?

 

Your inputs would help this story a lot. I am actually excited about the remaining chapters and an epilogue mainly because it would be the first time I write an epilogue and it's gonna be on a third person point of view. Do you think having an epilogue without a prologue is dumb?

 

As promised I'll finish SB no matter what. The story is coming along well in my head. The challenge is putting that picture in my head into words which is really hard. I hope I do the remaining chapters some justice.

 

Thanks for the continued support,

 

John

[Agaith]

I just now realize how long I've not done anything for SB because I had to search for this thread as I don't remember the last time I wrote on it. Anyway, another chapter of SB has been posted. Do you think it's overly dramatic? Moving on a slow pace? What do you think is Coop's secret? Is Grandpa's reaction believable?

 

Your inputs would help this story a lot. I am actually excited about the remaining chapters and an epilogue mainly because it would be the first time I write an epilogue and it's gonna be on a third person point of view. Do you think having an epilogue without a prologue is dumb?

 

As promised I'll finish SB no matter what. The story is coming along well in my head. The challenge is putting that picture in my head into words which is really hard. I hope I do the remaining chapters some justice.

 

Thanks for the continued support,

 

John

 

Hey John, so glad you're back to writing ways

 

I loved the new chapter, I love everything about it. The story is at a nice pace in my opinion and every parent/grandparent has a different reaction, so I believe his Grandpa's reaction

 

Having an epilogue without a prologue isnt dumb to me.

 

Loved it so glad you're back please write more

[jian_sierra]

Hey John, so glad you're back to writing ways

 

I loved the new chapter, I love everything about it. The story is at a nice pace in my opinion and every parent/grandparent has a different reaction, so I believe his Grandpa's reaction

 

Having an epilogue without a prologue isnt dumb to me.

 

Loved it so glad you're back please write more

 

Hey Agaith,

 

Thanks so much for the vote of confidence. At least between the two of us, there's one who thinks I can write

 

I'm having a problem with this story's pacing as there's still a lot I have to write and I want to finish this at Chapter 20 (which is unlikely as of the moment).

 

I just thought that epilogue and prologue always go together hehe.

 

So yeah until the next chapter And I'm glad I'm back

 

John

[Frostina]

So yeah until the next chapter And I'm glad I'm back

 

 

And i'm glad you're back too!!! :)

[jian_sierra]

And i'm glad you're back too!!! :)

 

Cheers, Frosty. Thanks for the warm welcome hehe

 

You're awesome

[Bleu]

I'm having a problem with this story's pacing as there's still a lot I have to write and I want to finish this at Chapter 20 (which is unlikely as of the moment).

Why, pray tell, would it be a problem if you had to stretch this story to 30 chapters?

 

Another great chapter! I think Mich's Grandpa's reaction is quite believable... by the end of the chapter. Right when it happened I thought it was a little too sugar-coated but you later gave us arguments to explain his understanding outlook on the situation:

• Grandpa had guessed early on that there was something between Coop and Mich
• Mich had come out to him, and had sought his acceptance. By that I mean that Mich didn't come out in a rebellious way like it can sometimes happen. So Grandpa had had time to digest the news
• Mich is an orphan, and Grandpa clearly looks for Mich's happiness first and foremost.

Oh...and a date at the beach?