Not another love story

[zland666]

Woops! I'd edit the title but it's actually Not another love story

 

Is about deceit betrayl blackmail cheating guilt and the joys of being a teenager in love.

 

I hope all you enjoy this I'm steping out of my boundaries here of what I usually wright but hey gotta try something new once in awhile right?

 

Feedback would be awesome!!!!

 

Here is the link to the story or if you wish just leave a review there I'd apperciate it way more than you know

 

http://www.gayauthor...ry.php?sid=1742

[Cia]

I edited the topic title for you. Don't want confusion on the forum.

[zland666]

I edited the topic title for you. Don't want confusion on the forum.

 

thank you CIA

[NightOwl88]

Hey J,

 

Why didn't you tell me sooner that you had started a thread for N.A.L.S. This is a great story and I'm happy to be working on it.

 

I'll talk to you soon,

 

Laters,

NightOwl

 

 

[Welshdude]

Agreed. Great story so far dude:) With emotion in all the right places and characters starting to show more of themseles, things look set to be awesome:) Can't wait for more.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Jasmine,

 

First let me address the spelling and grammar gripe that has you so hot - I am sure there were some there, but it didn't prevent me from enjoying your story. Seriously, I can't say it was a distraction because I don't remember any specific examples. Just roll with it, don't get upset. Just use it as motivation to fix thing. As you go along you will get better at seeing the typos.

 

As for the story itself - which is what you really want to hear about - I like where you are going with this. In truth, Wade should not be doing what he is doing - i.e. resolved to lie to Robbie - can you say heart ache express? But he is doing it and now we will get to see the consequences. Cody is an enigma right now; Why Wade? Why does he think dating Melinda will get him Wade? Why does he have it out for Robbie? I mean other than Robbie kicking the crap out of him, because that is what it seems like he is doing - try to get to Robbie. And why isn't Cody worried about being outed? Robbie, Wade and Shelly saw him all but raping Wade. So many interesting threads you are weaving here. Good job.

 

 

Andy

[montyblk]

Jasmine,

 

First let me address the spelling and grammar gripe that has you so hot - I am sure there were some there, but it didn't prevent me from enjoying your story. Seriously, I can't say it was a distraction because I don't remember any specific examples. Just roll with it, don't get upset. Just use it as motivation to fix thing. As you go along you will get better at seeing the typos.

 

As for the story itself - which is what you really want to hear about - I like where you are going with this. In truth, Wade should not be doing what he is doing - i.e. resolved to lie to Robbie - can you say heart ache express? But he is doing it and now we will get to see the consequences. Cody is an enigma right now; Why Wade? Why does he think dating Melinda will get him Wade? Why does he have it out for Robbie? I mean other than Robbie kicking the crap out of him, because that is what it seems like he is doing - try to get to Robbie. And why isn't Cody worried about being outed? Robbie, Wade and Shelly saw him all but raping Wade. So many interesting threads you are weaving here. Good job.

 

 

Andy

[zland666]

Jasmine,

 

First let me address the spelling and grammar gripe that has you so hot - I am sure there were some there, but it didn't prevent me from enjoying your story. Seriously, I can't say it was a distraction because I don't remember any specific examples. Just roll with it, don't get upset. Just use it as motivation to fix thing. As you go along you will get better at seeing the typos.

 

As for the story itself - which is what you really want to hear about - I like where you are going with this. In truth, Wade should not be doing what he is doing - i.e. resolved to lie to Robbie - can you say heart ache express? But he is doing it and now we will get to see the consequences. Cody is an enigma right now; Why Wade? Why does he think dating Melinda will get him Wade? Why does he have it out for Robbie? I mean other than Robbie kicking the crap out of him, because that is what it seems like he is doing - try to get to Robbie. And why isn't Cody worried about being outed? Robbie, Wade and Shelly saw him all but raping Wade. So many interesting threads you are weaving here. Good job.

 

 

Andy

 

Thank you Andy I'm glad your enjoying the story and look over the few grammer errors. Grammer is not my best subject it's like math to me lol but I hope you continue to like it thats what im shooting for