Valentine's Day

[MrM]

Question:

 

I've not done this sort of thing in the Gay Community before myself, but is Valentine's Day something we (Gay Guys) celebrate in any way?

 

There doesn't seem to be much excitement about it in my community.

We seem to be more excited about Mardi Gras.

[Sasha Distan]

We (me and the husband) don't do V-day, but because it's commercial and trashy and an excuse to take the person you're with out to dinner, spend too much on bad food, and try and be the most in love of every couple in the restaurant.

 

I know he loves me when he brings home cheeseburgers and does the washing up. He knows I love him when I make char siu bao from scratch and buy him mints (I hate mint). We don't V-day, i'd rather save my money and buy a house.

[Cia]

V-day is only good because of the half-priced chocolate the day after. I've been with the same man for 17 years now, though, so maybe my romantic bone is broken--IF I ever had one. And that's a big ole if... like the size of Alaska if. lol

[Irritable1]

I dunno. I'd like to see restaurants full of gay couples feeling free to be commercially-hoodwinked and sappy on V-day. One more frontier, you know? 

 

I find the stress it puts on single people and people who are at a tough point in their relationships pretty dreary, though. I've been both. We usually do cards. If I'm feeling extra-romantic I buy Mr. Irri irises, the flowers of love for the red/green colorblind They don't get poisoned and marked up for V-day.

[MrM]

On my Facebook page I have asked a similar question. Most of my FB Friends are straight and all I can say is....Wow! Valentine's Day really generates a lot of enmity between the two sexes...especially when women are asked what the man gets out of it.

 

When I was a child Valentine's was supposed to be a day of exchange. 'Will you be my valentine'. Later it became giving your girlfriend some flowers with a card and she gives her boyfriend a teddy with a heart and a card or something.

 

Now it just seems one sided. What do men get out of it with their female mates?

Is it possible that we as Gays have, possibly, a healthier attitude toward this 'Hallmark Holiday' than straights do now?

[Irritable1]

 

 

What do men get out of it with their female mates?

 

Well, you understand that I don't have this transactional discussion with my own husband, but I was listening to a DJ talk very gleefully about valentine's day and the lingerie that women wear and how sex is guaranteed, how you cannot fail to score... He certainly seemed to be very positive about his own v-day experiences.

[Aditus]

This year V-Day is in the middle of the craziness we call 'Rheinischer Karneval', were sex is guaranteed anyway.  Don't know if you can double that.   

[Irritable1]

This year V-Day is in the middle of the craziness we call 'Rheinischer Karneval', were sex is guaranteed anyway.  Don't know if you can double that. 

 

LOL I'm sure there are people out there ready to try.

 

Actually I'll tell you guys a secret: Mr. Irri lost his wedding ring and after much encouragement from me agreed that we could replace it as his birthday present in April this year, because he's so guilty about the expense. Chump   He's so gullible.

Edited February 12, 2015 by Irritable1

[K.C.]

I've never been big into the commercialism of Valentines day.  If I love someone, they know it every day of the year. 

 

This year, I do have special plans for the V-Day ((and night before on Friday the 13th)) I'm working at MY BLOODY VALENTINE! Which is a Haunted House Event with a bloody-love-hurts theme.  In the pitch black, I might add    Small intimate groups of 4 get to tour through a real haunted mansion in the dark.  It was a blast in October so I can't wait to do it again (((In the DARK!!!!))))  

[TetRefine]

Its a stupid holiday in my opinion.

[MJ85]

There doesn't seem to be much excitement about it in my community.

We seem to be more excited about Mardi Gras.

 

It doesn't help when sometimes the two are so very close together - like this year for instance, they're only three days apart.

[MrM]

It doesn't help when sometimes the two are so very close together - like this year for instance, they're only three days apart.

 

Tiz true...and San Diego is having not just one Mardi Gras parade, but two!! One in my community in Hillcrest. Its usually like Pride Day, Second Act around here. So its like we'll have the big downtown one for the Straights and then the fun Gay one up here!

 

This year V-Day is in the middle of the craziness we call 'Rheinischer Karneval', were sex is guaranteed anyway.  Don't know if you can double that. 

 

So yes, like you say Aditus, its def going to be the Gay Valentines around here too. I don't think that any loft in the whole area is going to be safe!

Edited February 12, 2015 by MrM

[DynoReads]

For Valentine's we get each other a box of chocolates.

 

On the other hand, our anniversary is Feb 14 (17 years now). Since my son's birthday, my birthday & Christmas are only weeks apart, we agreed that I get token gifts for my birthday & Christmas (last year a backup battery charger for.my cell phone). For mother's day & our anniversary I get big gifts. Usually for our anniversary I get something I want for the house: first anniversary was a DVD player, second a playstation, fifth the PS2.

[Sasha Distan]

On my Facebook page I have asked a similar question. Most of my FB Friends are straight and all I can say is....Wow! Valentine's Day really generates a lot of enmity between the two sexes...especially when women are asked what the man gets out of it.

 

When I was a child Valentine's was supposed to be a day of exchange. 'Will you be my valentine'. Later it became giving your girlfriend some flowers with a card and she gives her boyfriend a teddy with a heart and a card or something.

 

Now it just seems one sided. What do men get out of it with their female mates?

 

Is it possible that we as Gays have, possibly, a healthier attitude toward this 'Hallmark Holiday' than straights do now?

 

 

Well, you understand that I don't have this transactional discussion with my own husband, but I was listening to a DJ talk very gleefully about valentine's day and the lingerie that women wear and how sex is guaranteed, how you cannot fail to score... He certainly seemed to be very positive about his own v-day experiences.

 

What Irri said. It's all about the sex.

[Irritable1]

Yay, replacement ring arrived in time and was a big hit

[rustle]

On my Facebook page I have asked a similar question. Most of my FB Friends are straight and all I can say is....Wow! Valentine's Day really generates a lot of enmity between the two sexes...especially when women are asked what the man gets out of it.

 

When I was a child Valentine's was supposed to be a day of exchange. 'Will you be my valentine'. Later it became giving your girlfriend some flowers with a card and she gives her boyfriend a teddy with a heart and a card or something.

 

Now it just seems one sided. What do men get out of it with their female mates?

 

Is it possible that we as Gays have, possibly, a healthier attitude toward this 'Hallmark Holiday' than straights do now?

 

Ads push jewelry and other luxury items for women for the holiday, but I don't see many ads for stuff to buy your man.

 

Well, you understand that I don't have this transactional discussion with my own husband, but I was listening to a DJ talk very gleefully about valentine's day and the lingerie that women wear and how sex is guaranteed, how you cannot fail to score... He certainly seemed to be very positive about his own v-day experiences.

 

Transactional. That's an interesting choice of words.

[Irritable1]

 

Transactional. That's an interesting choice of words.

 

People do that kind of thing, don't they? take their new partner to a nice restaurant to increase the chances of.... well, some kind of physical expression at the end of the evening? I'm always surprised when I hear either side admit to it, but it's definitely out there. I don't know what else you'd call it. And I guess if a relationship starts with that kind of... paradigm (god, listen to me bloviate) then maybe it would continue in the same way. I don't believe it's strictly a straight thing, either, but of course it's more visible between straights.

 

Edit: I don't know why V-day ads aren't addressed to women. I know men who get stuff from their female partners.It could be a retailer thing, like kids' clothes.

 

Edit2: I've got a concept for you MrM: would you be willing to consider Valentine's Day a Romantic New Year's Day? The start of a year of lurve?

Edited February 14, 2015 by Irritable1

[MikeL]

NPR has compiled a list of the greatest love songs.

 

My favorite?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=f9bRmuP-kQY

 

I am The Luckiest.

Edited February 14, 2015 by MikeL

[MrM]

 

Edit2: I've got a concept for you MrM: would you be willing to consider Valentine's Day a Romantic New Year's Day? The start of a year of lurve?

 

Well certainly that would send the day back to the kind of idea that I think was behind it (over a Catholic Saint's Day). A special day of MUTUAL appreciation of a couple's love for one another. The MUTUAL giving of gifts. The MUTUAL enjoyment of a nice dinner and perhaps a nice dessert afterwards at a special shoppe. He can pay for dinner and she can pay for dessert (I won't bother with He and He as I think this happens a bit more with Gay couples, though I'm not entirely sure). And...finally....a MUTUAL exchange of sexual pleasure, maybe time set aside to get the kids to a baby sitter and have night of passionate sex without distractions.

 

Otherwise I think that Advertisers cheapen the idea of the holiday and turn it into some kind of prostitution transaction. He buys here a ring and she gives him a sexual favor without much enthusiams. It just seems sad...