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Comsie Review - Priorities By Atruefan


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"Priorities" By ATrueFan
 
 
 
A series that was spawned from ATrueFan's very first story prompt challenge, "Priorities" has been a really enjoyable read about a loving relationship that was both complicated and enhanced by the arrival of an adopted teen into a wealthy gay household! Something that really surprised me when I first started reading, but I had to take a long break from it and come back later to pick up where I left off! Definitely worth the read! So let's get into it! :)
 
The very first chapter of this story starts off with two young teens who have just come out to the father of the main love interest. I want to start off by saying that this is an EXCELLENT way to kick off a series!!! To any of you who read this, that very first intro to the story, those first 6 or 7 sentences alone, tells SO much! It sets up the mood, the tone, it gives a bit of background on what's happened so far, and it gives the readers enough solid information to get them hooked on the idea right away! So kudos on that. You have a teenage boy and his boyfriend, coming out to a father who is unaccepting and angry about this revelation, and the threat to cut his son off from the family riches. To convey all of this in the first paragraph is amazing. An expert effort that deserves specific mention.
 
Skip ahead a few years of the main characters, Nick and Bobby, enjoying a loving relationship together...they decide to adopt a 13 year old boy from an orphanage to share their lives with. A gay teen that they can help and give all the love they have to offer. Young Trevor becomes a part of their family, leaving his life at the orphanage behind in order to pursue a better life with two gay parents that love him. A very sweet story indeed, told from multiple perspectives as you follow one character or another through the process of getting accustomed to each other. :)
 
I would really love to know more about how Nick and Bobby got together in this story. I mean, there are details given about it all, but he whole idea of them meeting and talking and getting together in the first place back when they were 18 years old, I think, would make for an extremely sweet and romantic story. I realize that the first chapter of the story is a short one in comparison to the others, and that the second chapter starts 4 years later...but I would definitely love to see more detail given to that first chapter. These two deserve it! :)
 
As you may know, I'm always a big advocate for more detail in certain scenes...and I think there were a few scenes that would make awesome additions to the story as a whole! That first date at the coffee shop, the jitters and nervousness involved with adopting a teen and inviting them into your life for the first time, or the scene at the bank...all of those scenes are HUGE! Dwell on 'em! Not only is there a lot of emotional detail that can go into those moments, but a lot of character building as well. What you did with the shopping scenes with Trevor is a perfect example! That's exactly what I'm talking about. I felt connected to that scene, seeing him shopping and the whole 'dad/son' thing for the first time...amazing. :)
 
One thing that I noticed, is that there were a bunch of times in the story where you pretty much 'told' your readers what you had in mind...but didn't 'show' it. For example (Especially in that first chapter, but I understand that was a short chapter), there were many scenes where major story plot points were happening, and you said things like "I told him what happened" or "We talked to each other" or "I explained to him"...which is functional in moving the story along, but I kinda wanted to HEAR those conversations! You know? What did they talk about? What did they say? I felt like you were shying away from writing out the actual 'dialogue' in those scenes. Which you shouldn't. Your dialogue is FINE between characters! It doesn't come off as awkward or unnatural at all in anything that I've read from this story. It's not like you have anything to worry about. But I have to admit, it felt as though you were trying to avoid it in certain places that I thought could really benefit from that added involvement. The biggest example being Bobby's father. I would LOVE to have an entire chapter just finding out how he made his transformation from an angry and bigoted father to trying to apologize and accepting his son for who he is. I'm sure that took a lot of conversations and trust issues and a slow build up to a different mode of thinking. All of that, I think would only give your readers an even deeper understanding of all the characters involved. Even more about Trevor's life in the orphanage with Roger, Alex, Ricky, and the others (Mrs. Granger included), would be awesome to see before he gets adopted.
 
Anyway, there's a certain sweetness and heart that you feel in this story from the very beginning, and it doesn't lose a bit of heart along the way! "Priorities" can flip back and forth pretty quickly between points of view after chapter 4, but it's worth checking out! So give it a read, and smile all the way through it like I did! Hehehe! Take care! Seezya soon!
 
Coming up next? "Let The Music Play" By C James! :)

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I love Priorities optimism. I've told True this a lot of times. With me, it is like a breath of fresh air after being in a dusty broom closet for years. It is in such contrast to my own stories where there is always some sense of impending doom waiting over everything.

 

I love this story and I hope True can get to more of it.

:heart:

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