Cuddling for bonding with lovers

[W_L]

@PrivateTim inspired this thread with his question on promiscuity, it made me think about the nature of attachments and relationships.

Interesting thing I've noticed over the years, despite the romance novels I read and write, there's a noticeable lack of cuddling among gay/bi guys that I've dated. I haven't had any long-term relationships greater than 6-months, but I wonder if it's a lack of partners or a lack of physical interaction when I think deeper. (Sexual interaction aside, cuddling is a separate pre and post-sexual ritual of intimate embrace.)

There was an interesting entry in Psychology Today relating to the efficacy of Cuddling as beneficial to human bonding that relates to this effect:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-communication/202204/4-reasons-couples-should-cuddle-more

There's no study on the subject of the various kinds of cuddling among various kinds of partners, but the human touch is known to promote chemicals related to pleasure and elation within the body. I am wondering if this actually ties in with cuddling based on personal experience. 

 

 

[PrivateTim]

Cuddling? Do I LOOK like an Obama pajama boy?

[ranchered]

I cuddle my furry four legged friend many times over the day, and not because it's been 7F for a few mornings... If there was a human male here too, cuddles are good in my romantic book.

[W_L]

22 hours ago, PrivateTim said:

Cuddling? Do I LOOK like an Obama pajama boy?

You'd be surprised at how few people of that persuasion like to cuddle  

To me good cuddling should not have any pajamas, but maybe I am just too free for certain folks  

[LJCC]

I cuddle my cat, but he chooses violence. And I'm a masochist, so I choose to cuddle him despite him threatening my life with his claws.

I'm like the clingy boyfriend, always following him around, while he sees me as an annoying human he can't get rid of.

I'm just a food factory to him.

Quote

 

Me: why won't you love me?

Cat: scratches face.

 

 

 

 

[W_L]

4 hours ago, LJCC said:

I cuddle my cat, but he chooses violence. And I'm a masochist, so I choose to cuddle him despite him threatening my life with his claws.

I'm like the clingy boyfriend, always following him around, while he sees me as an annoying human he can't get rid of.

I'm just a food factory to him.

 

Your cat sounds like tsundere, he probably will get lonely if your lap isn't there to settle his claw on or your face isn't beaming when you cuddle him.

If this were any BL/MM gay romance, you just need to give him a few days of the cold shoulder and visit a few friends with other cats to get their scent on you, he'll get jealous and possessive  

On 11/28/2023 at 4:59 PM, ranchered said:

I cuddle my furry four legged friend many times over the day, and not because it's been 7F for a few mornings... If there was a human male here too, cuddles are good in my romantic book.

We've seen temp dip below 27F/-2C, I wish I had my old dog, who loved to cuddle. However, he also had an angry and destructive streak, when he didn't get his way. He was timid around other dogs but seemed rather fond of a neighborhood male cat. 

[PrivateTim]

8 hours ago, LJCC said:

I cuddle my cat, but he chooses violence. And I'm a masochist, so I choose to cuddle him despite him threatening my life with his claws.

I'm like the clingy boyfriend, always following him around, while he sees me as an annoying human he can't get rid of.

I'm just a food factory to him.

I'd laugh if I didn't know how true that is.

[W_L]

16 minutes ago, PrivateTim said:

I'd laugh if I didn't know how true that is.

I always thought you'd be a tough love sort of pet guy with a bit of denial to balance out the affection.

So you do have a soft side?  

[CassieQ]

11 hours ago, LJCC said:

I cuddle my cat, but he chooses violence. And I'm a masochist, so I choose to cuddle him despite him threatening my life with his claws.

I'm like the clingy boyfriend, always following him around, while he sees me as an annoying human he can't get rid of.

I'm just a food factory to him.

 

As a fellow cat owner, this is 100% accurate

[Krista]

Hmm.. I had to train my husband to be a cuddler... which is odd because he's a severe mother's boy and s'mothers liked to cuddle their children.  He's quite good at it when there isn't a game on the television he's really into. I have been dumped out into the floor before.

Although, if we're actively having a conversation or something, I don't like to cuddle. I want physical touch, like I'll rest my legs in his lap or something.. but I want to be able to look at him whilst I talk to him. Cuddling to me, is more for a comfortable silence.

I wish my children were still cuddly, they are not... they have grown into their full on pre-teen brat phase and I fear for my sanity.  

[PrivateTim]

On 12/2/2023 at 3:16 PM, W_L said:

I always thought you'd be a tough love sort of pet guy with a bit of denial to balance out the affection.

You can't play mind games with a cat. You will lose.

[W_L]

On 12/6/2023 at 8:19 PM, PrivateTim said:

You can't play mind games with a cat. You will lose.

It's why I loved my dog. He was manipulative but willing to accept a bitter pill as long as you can give him bacon  

Plus sleep-wise, dogs are better cuddlers than cats.

[Page Scrawler]

On 12/6/2023 at 8:06 PM, Krista said:

I wish my children were still cuddly, they are not... they have grown into their full on pre-teen brat phase and I fear for my sanity.  

My kid still likes to cuddle when we watch a movie on the weekend. He's nearly twelve now, so I don't know how much longer I have until he becomes the same as your kids. I'll just try to enjoy every moment while it lasts.