[DomLuka] TOSOM12a

[Marty]

Although this is harsh, eliminating Oliver would at least tie up some loose ends. Oliver's mom is already dead and I suspect that Brian will either be dead or in jail in the end. Who else will be around to take care of Oliver and his special needs?

I honestly cannot see Dom killing off a character just so that he can tie up a few loose ends. Life isn't like that. Loose ends tend to ocur in real life.

 

If I were writing this story the last thing I'd be thinking of doing is killing off characters simply to leave the ending 'better'.

 

I'm not saying that Oliver can't be killed off. I just don't see Dom killing him off simply to make the ending easier...

Marty, I hope I'm never in a situation where I'm playing Domluka Trivial Pursuit against you.

I'd only be okay at DomTriv if I were allowed time to look up the references. If I were expected to quote chapter and verse out of my head, I doubt I'd do very well at all.

[Tazz]

I honestly cannot see Dom killing off a character just so that he can tie up a few loose ends. Life isn't like that. Loose ends tend to ocur in real life.

 

If I were writing this story the last thing I'd be thinking of doing is killing off characters simply to leave the ending 'better'.

Couldn't have worded it better.

[johnM]

I've just finished Ch 12A - and all I can say is "beautiful". Dom, I haven't read any other stories which so deftly move the reader through use of time lines and 'flashbacks', not just for the sake of providing facts, but in a way which reveals the "heart" of each character. You are outstanding! Indeed, I think you have a great novel ahead of you.

 

Some may read this chapter and see all the blood and gore, but I see the gentleness of David's heart as he is 'forced' to kill the fawn and submit to the will of his father. You really capture the soul of your characters.

 

Thank you for struggling with this chapter.

 

In so many stories, I've noticed that, as the story comes to a close, the author rushes to the conclusion, happy to wash his hands of the effort. Not so you. You have labored hard - and thanks again.

 

Great job!

Edited October 30, 2006 by johnM

[AFriendlyFace]

awesome chapter!

 

I really like David now! I hope things turn out well for him.

 

 

Marty, I hope I'm never in a situation where I'm playing Domluka Trivial Pursuit against you.

Oh my gosh! I so wanna play that! Seriously guys, we should arrange some sort of game like that! It could be seriously fun!

 

Have an awesome day all! I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Kevin

[C James]

I've just finished Ch 12A - and all I can say is "beautiful". Dom, I haven't read any other stories which so deftly move the reader through use of time lines and 'flashbacks', not just for the sake of providing facts, but in a way which reveals the "heart" of each character. You are outstanding! Indeed, I think you have a great novel ahead of you.

 

Some may read this chapter and see all the blood and gore, but I see the gentleness of David's heart as he is 'forced' to kill the fawn and submit to the will of his father. You really capture the soul of your characters.

 

Well said!!

 

That was indeed beautifully done. The variation in the narration also in my opinion set this chapter apart, and made it stand out.

 

 

awesome chapter!

 

I really like David now! I hope things turn out well for him.

Oh my gosh! I so wanna play that! Seriously guys, we should arrange some sort of game like that! It could be seriously fun!

 

Poor David: He's been mentally abused almost his whole life. I wouldn't blame him if he's lashed out and settled a few scores.