[DomLuka] TOSOM12a

[NickolasJames8]

Yay!!!

[rekop1]

I am so excited oh I feel like a little kid right now

[MikeL]

Hooray! The wait is over.

 

TOSOM12a

[NickolasJames8]

OMG!!! It friggin rules!!!

[captainrick]

Whoa! I thought I was reading one of Vance's abused kid stories for a minute! This is so totally not what I saw coming. I mean I knew Mary and Brian were abusive, but damn. This was freakin' depressing. Excellent writing, just depressing and dark as hell. Once again Dom,

 

 

If this was half as tough to write as it was to read, no wonder it took so long!

 

Rick

[Tazz]

Wooo, thanks Dom!

 

Wow, this story has become one of the most depressing ones I've ever read online. I feel so sad right now.

 

But, who still believes Oliver and David are one and the same?

 

It was hard to read because I didn't know whether to try and solve the mystery as the chapter progressed or just go with the flow. So it took ages. There were some really confusing things revealed here, like at first Mary pointing it out to David that David was the one who used the be the good one of the two, the first to walk as a baby and so on. And then David's own memories how Oliver was the one who used to be more intelligent, and also the first to walk. Or maybe I'm just missing something.

 

Anyway, I'm looking forward to other readers' theories.

[writeincode]

For some reason I couldnt follow it. I got the gist but... i don't know. Maybe it was just damn ADD being worse than usual.

 

Did any major event or explanation happen in this chapter other than the description of how cruel the Martins were to David??

[Ratatosk]

Wooo, thanks Dom!

 

Wow, this story has become one of the most depressing ones I've ever read online. I feel so sad right now.

Yeah, no wonder Dom had such difficulty writing it down. So... will that mean that part B will be even more difficult and disturbing?

 

But, who still believes Oliver and David are one and the same?

No - this shows that they really are two persons.

 

It was hard to read because I didn't know whether to try and solve the mystery as the chapter progressed or just go with the flow. So it took ages. There were some really confusing things revealed here, like at first Mary pointing it out to David that David was the one who used the be the good one of the two, the first to walk as a baby and so on. And then David's own memories how Oliver was the one who used to be more intelligent, and also the first to walk. Or maybe I'm just missing something.

What I think is that just to show how bad David has become she turned the truth about their development - this way David seems even more evil.

 

Well... now will we se David alive? nine days without food is possible. And there is water even if it is stale. I think David has enough power to live to struggle trough this. Waiting for someone to find him.

 

But it seems to getting darker before what to seems to be a brighter chapter 13.

[captainrick]

Did any major event or explanation happen in this chapter other than the description of how cruel the Martins were to David??

 

 

We now know what happened to David in two different timelines. First, the present, he may or may not be alive laying in what is a wet, abandoned cellar he had accidentally discovered on a hunting trip with Oliver and David.

In the past, through some awsomely written flashback sequences, David has endured indescribable, abuse, much of it emotional, since he was 3 yrs old and that really messed up his head. No wonder he was the way he was.

We have also learned that Mary is a mental case that should have been in an institution, and David is just one cruel son of a bitch, and also possibly psycho.

 

I'd say that's a lot for half a chapter!

 

Rick

[MayaMys]

We have also learned that Mary is a mental case that should have been in an institution, and David is just one cruel son of a bitch, and also possibly psycho.

 

I'd say that's a lot for half a chapter!

 

Rick

 

By David you mean Brian, right?

 

 

This chapter was surreal to read. I loved it. I also really liked the time jumps. Usually something like that would be really hard to read and very confusing, but Dom managed to make it make complete sense.

 

I'm wondering who killed Mary....it was either Oliver or Brian, and I'm opting for Brian, cause David is too damn nice. I think that Mary threatened Brian with something, so he decided to kill her. Or maybe she confronted him about the cheating, but I doubt that. I also want to know more about how Odetta ties in to the whole thing.

[DavyReader]

Brian Martin was staring straight ahead, his dark eyes having a beady effect as they drifted to a far-off place, perhaps somewhere where what ran through his mind actually made sense.

He could feel his eyes lifting more than he was aware of lifting them, watching as his father knelt down in front of him, wearing a friendly smile on his face that wasn

[C James]

Well, it looks like my "split personality" theory is as dead as Mary Martin!

 

This was a fantastic chapter, and must have been exceedingly difficult to write.

 

Is everyone assuming that it is David that Frank has encountered down in the hole? I am not so sure about that. If David killed Mary, then he's already out. (and I wouldn't blame him for doing it).

 

How about this as a guess: The body that Frank just touched is cold because it is dead. It isn't David, but rather Brian, killed by David (in which case, Frank better hope that it's a dead body!).

[tyguy0268]

How about this as a guess: The body that Frank just touched is cold because it is dead. It isn't David, but rather Brian, killed by David (in which case, Frank better hope that it's a dead body!).

 

Nice try.....but i don't think so. Remember, Brian is holding people hostage at Frank's house. So it coudn't be him in that "hole". It might just be David.

 

Ok, now I have no sympathy for Mary whatsoever. She deserved what she got. It's no wonder why David is the way he is. And if he did indeed kill Mary, that's justifyable. As cold and heartless David seems to be, there is so much sympathy for him in this chapter. No kid should have to go through so much deprivation of love and affection. Not to mention, the physical and emotional abuse he receives on a constant basis.

 

Another great chapter!!!!

[Juss]

Another great chapter Dom !!

 

Hm..I think that 'cold' body has to be David.. but I don't know, this story is already full of twists.

And I agree... Mary deserved what she got. I'd say Brian did it, maybe Mary confronted him about David. I still don't know how Frank's father is gonna come into this or if he will play a significant role.

 

Can't wait for the other half Dom. Good Job

[bodgy]

It'll be Franks Dad, and Mary committed suicide.

 

Now how do I get myself dememberised from this forum?

[Marty]

It'll be Franks Dad, and Mary committed suicide.

I'm pretty sure it's David's (but Dom can always pull the surprises)...

 

Hopefully if it is David's, the 'cold' reference here doesn't mean dead.

 

And I don't really see someone comitting suicide by cutting their own throat.

 

Now how do I get myself dememberised from this forum?

Dememberised? or dismembered?

 

Seriously though, great (half?) chapter, Dom!

 

~ Marty ~

 

Edited October 23, 2006 by Marty

[NaperVic]

That was such a complex chapter that I had to re-read it to make sure I understood everything. I'm thinking of reading it again just to make sure I didn't miss any details.

 

I agree with Marty that David is still alive , but I have this strange feeling that Oliver is NOT going to make it out of TOSOM alive. I'd also guess that Oliver will die trying to protect Frank and/or David.

 

Vic

[MayaMys]

That was such a complex chapter that I had to re-read it to make sure I understood everything. I'm thinking of reading it again just to make sure I didn't miss any details.

 

I agree with Marty that David is still alive , but I have this strange feeling that Oliver is NOT going to make it out of TOSOM alive. I'd also guess that Oliver will die trying to protect Frank and/or David.

 

Vic

 

If that happens, I'll be a sad sad gorilla.

[C James]

I agree with Marty that David is still alive , but I have this strange feeling that Oliver is NOT going to make it out of TOSOM alive. I'd also guess that Oliver will die trying to protect Frank and/or David.

 

I hadn't thought of that, but it makes sense. :-(

 

I'm wondering if Frank will end up with someone? Jay, or maybe David?

 

This is certainly one wild ride!!!

[DavyReader]

Nice try.....but i don't think so. Remember, Brian is holding people hostage at Frank's house. So it coudn't be him in that "hole". It might just be David.

Who else could it be?

 

I think it was Oliver who killed Mary during one of his absences. His confused behavior points to that, and Brian wouldn't have used a knife. I don't think David climbed out of the hole, killed Mary, and jumped back into the hole, in order to make it look like Oliver did it. He may be bitter, but he is not insidious. Brian is after Oliver, and I agree with Naper Vic that Oliver probably won't make it out of the story alive. However sad that would be, it would help Dom to finish the story. If David is still alive, which I truely hope, he might well end up with David.

[NickolasJames8]

Who else could it be?

 

I think it was Oliver who killed Mary during one of his absences. His confused behavior points to that, and Brian wouldn't have used a knife. I don't think David climbed out of the hole, killed Mary, and jumped back into the hole, in order to make it look like Oliver did it. He may be bitter, but he is not insidious. Brian is after Oliver, and I agree with Naper Vic that Oliver probably won't make it out of the story alive. However sad that would be, it would help Dom to finish the story. If David is still alive, which I truely hope, he might well end up with David.

Franks dad??

[Marty]

I think it was Oliver who killed Mary during one of his absences. His confused behavior points to that, and Brian wouldn't have used a knife.

I don't see why he couldn't have used a knife.

 

The last time Dom wrote about Mary when she was still alive was in TOSOM10, when she was in the bedroom ringing for help:-

 

" ... It

[DavyReader]

And I honestly don't see how killing off Oliver should make it easier for Dom to finish the story.

If Dom uses the doppelgaenger or the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde motive, doing away with one of the two personalities is an option, if he wants to lead the story to a good end.

In spite of the kisses that Frank and Oliver have shared, I don't think Dom is writing a gay story at all. More a thriller.

The semi-erotic relationship between Oliver and Frank has been pivotal in the story so far. Then again there is some indication that David is attracted to Frank. One could argue that these two aspects of the story triggered the catastrophe. There need not be a dichtomoy of thriller and love story.

[Tazz]

and I agree with Naper Vic that Oliver probably won't make it out of the story alive. However sad that would be, it would help Dom to finish the story. If David is still alive, which I truely hope, he might well end up with David.

Uhm, I was thinking about the possibility that Oliver won't make it out alive, and to be honest..

 

Personally, I think it would be too easy way to (put it harshly) get rid of the simpleton and solve Frank's possible conflict between his feelings for Oliver (or at least Oliver's obvious feelings for him) and Oliver's state of mind. Too easy to get away with it, at least if the purpose then is that Frank ends up with David.

[NaperVic]

Personally, I think it would be too easy way to (put it harshly) get rid of the simpleton and solve Frank's possible conflict between his feelings for Oliver (or at least Oliver's obvious feelings for him) and Oliver's state of mind. Too easy to get away with it, at least if the purpose then is that Frank ends up with David.

 

Although this is harsh, eliminating Oliver would at least tie up some loose ends. Oliver's mom is already dead and I suspect that Brian will either be dead or in jail in the end. Who else will be around to take care of Oliver and his special needs?

 

 

 

 

I don't see why he couldn't have used a knife.

 

The last time Dom wrote about Mary when she was still alive was in TOSOM10, when she was in the bedroom ringing for help:-

 

" ... It