Cia

Well remember, Yuri is the son of an alpha. He's quite dominant... when he's not lost inside, as it were. You'll find out more about the Tiger soon, never fear! Thanks for reading, Polly.

Yep, I'd written this with the intention of combining both adjectives and adverbs in the article aimed at 'describing words' a long time ago, and didn't completely flesh out the information/write it all up correctly. I've added the right version. Thanks! It helps to have members looking out to make sure we're not confusing folks.

LOL. Good plan. I do try to keep things creative. Yuri's going through a lot of changes, and I want to keep that happening through the story yet keep it realistic. Hopefully what I have planned will work for readers. Thanks for the review.

Yeah, the changes are slowly becoming apparent, but I want to keep it believable.

Yuri was exhausted after all of Dr. Vancould’s tests. The doctor tried to go over the results with Benny after Yuri complained of a headache. That was a mistake. “Talk to me about me,” he insisted. He crossed his arms over his chest and flattened his ears. “You said your head hurts.” Benny sighed when Yuri turned his glare on him. “Okay, okay. We can go over everything tomorrow. We’re cleared to leave, right?” “He is,” Dr. Vancould said. He made a note in Yuri’s charts. “You still need to be

Happy Birthday, hun! Many, many

Happy Birthday, hun!

GA is not a dating site, but there are people who've 'met' here and who've then gone on to have great 'real life' relationships too. I've been privileged to know a few of those couples, and it's wonderful when it works out. I was so thrilled for you and Paya when you made it work, and I could see how happy you made each other. Congratulations, guys!!

It's not something I'd have my characters do all the time, but walking around outside, at night? I find that unnerving, and when I'm nervous I tend to want to 'fill the silence'. It made sense for my character to do the same. It could be another way to highlight the mood of the moment and the character's personality. You could easily have the character snort, think instead of speak, and then shake his head at his thoughts. It would allow you to make them from the character rather than narration of the story from the author.

Okay, so I have a thing about dialogue. First, make sure you know how to punctuate it. There's a pinned topic here for that too. Second, know how to use it! One of the supreme tenets of writing fiction is to Show, Not Tell. There are a few ways to go about this, of course. Letting the reader experience the story through the characters is vital. You can easily do that a few different ways. For instance: It was hot, dark, and far too quiet. Jimmy couldn't quite make out the man standing outside the light shining from the bar's neon signs. He stopped walking, trying to decide if he should keep going or cross the busy street without backtracking back to the last corner. Why couldn't there be more people walking around? He cursed the heat that kept everyone inside. Could become: Jimmy flapped his shirt, to get the sweaty fabric off his back. He wished there was a breeze. Looking up, Jimmy jerked back a step. He glanced at the cars zipping past and swallowed. Walk past the shadowy man or brave the street? Why couldn't there be more people walking around? Damn heat kept everyone inside. That's okay, right? I've included some actions and sensations instead of narrating that it's hot. I've also included some phrase changes to make things more immediate. But, there's another way to tell the story that doesn't involve narration. Even without another character to interact with, your character can give the reader information in a natural manner via dialogue. Jimmy flapped his shirt, trying to get the sweaty fabric off his back. He wished there was a breeze. "Holy shit!" Jimmy jerked back a step. "Great. Walk past creepy dude in the shadows or get fucking smashed by cars zipping back and forth?" Why couldn't there be more people walking around? "Damn heat." I believe dialogue should drive the story. As you can see here, it lets me share more than just what's going on in the scene. The dialogue gives you an idea of my character as a younger man who has a fair potty mouth. If I wanted to showcase this scene through a straitlaced, older character I wouldn't have him cursing, and he might think of the man in the shadows as a hooligan. Creating a good mix of dialogue and narration, consistent to your character, is by far the most natural method of sharing a story to readers. But how do you write good dialogue? I have found several articles that provide some helpful information to try out, over the years, including one I got via email today from Writer's Digest (a great resource for writing tips that come to you!) http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/the-7-tools-of-dialogue?et_mid=673791&rid=239107852 http://www.creative-writing-now.com/how-to-write-dialogue.html http://www.novel-writing-help.com/writing-dialogue.html

I think those are all excellent tips for things to look for while self-editing that go beyond punctuation and typos. Here are a few tips to help you identify those elements more effectively while you do a self-edit. 1. Try a new medium. Put your story on a reader device and use notes, or print it out and mark up your chapter by hand. 2. Read it aloud. This is most important to create realistic dialogue that flows as it should with the proper emotion and breaks. 3. Start backwards, paragraph by paragraph, during your final line edit to focus on the words--not the story.

“Benny?” He jerked out of the light doze—all he could manage in the busy hospital. “Hey.” Benny cleared his throat. “You’re awake.” “What happened?” Yuri asked. Benny’s heart sank. “We were attacked.” Was Yuri’s memory screwed up again? At least he was talking. “Can I come over there?” The beds were narrow, but Benny wasn’t going to turn down a chance to hold his mate. “I don’t think you should get up on your own, and the doctors want to check you out. Why don’t we call a nurse, first?” “I

Bonded by Rosalie Tarr My rating: 4 of 5 stars 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 because I did snicker quite a bit in the story. Delivery can only make up for the plot so far, though, and I felt that Bonded took the gay for you a bit far with 2 'straight' characters. I have to admit to having issues with fact that the insta-love element didn't just apply to the character's newly met relationship but to the sexual desire element as well. There's a line there when it comes to attraction going from opposite to same gender that doesn't always need to be crossed. It's like telling a gay man he just needs to meet the right woman, and he'd be straight. Now, maybe in paranormal fiction that would work... but how loud would folks cry out against it, if it were true? I didn't really expect all that in the story, so it really colored my reading experience. I did like the author paired both the romance with an underlying story. Without giving away anything, I enjoyed the arcs of the story... until the end. Like another reviewer said, it just felt too neat, too pat. Things are never perfect--especially when you deal with real people and real events. I'd have loved to see a better realistic ending. Overall, I like the story. But... that's it; I just like it. I find that vampire fiction isn't as common anymore, so I was super excited to pick this up to read, but then fizzled. It just didn't quite live up to what I was looking for as far as the overall storyline. View all my reviews

I have been fortunate to work with quite a few excellent editors over the last two years. They've taught me so much, I can't even begin to thank them enough for their insights into writing and how to polish a story. I often try not to work with new authors, though, because the amount of critique I share can be daunting to someone beginning in the craft. Your story isn't poorly written, so I hope I didn't give you that impression. There is simply a lot of refined writing techniques you could apply, when you're given the information. Until I was told about this stuff (and I've made each and every one of those I pointed out) I had no idea the issues were there or how to fix them. Oh, and if you wish to share my critique with your editors/group, feel free.

Ooh, I love vampire fiction! I can't wait to read it. I just subbed my story in to them too. Did the MM Romance group's editors already go over this? You can make changes if they haven't, but if they have here are a few things to remember, for future work. Use the find feature in Word on words like 'that' and then read each sentence aloud with and without the that. Many times we put them in when they are actually unnecessary. Example: Ben grinned with him while running his hands over every bit of Adam’s hard body that he could reach. (Here your that is unnecessary) I am working to correct this in my writing, too, but avoid telling us your character 'feels or felt' this or that. Giving us the sensation makes it far more immediate. Example: He felt Adam’s fangs lightly scrape his neck, and he cried out at the sensation that shivered down his spine at the contact. (Here you have issues but I'd do: Adam lightly scraped his fangs across Ben's neck. A shiver ran down his spine, and he cried out.) Example: He moaned again as he felt Adam’s hands find his hard cock and start to stroke it with strong, slow strokes. (I'd do: Adam found his hard cock and started to stroke it with both hands, using strong, slow strokes. He moaned.) Avoid independent body movements: Example: He felt Adam’s fangs lightly scrape his neck (Adam's fangs can't do anything one their own--see suggestion above) Adam's hands find (Adam's hands can't find anything on their own--see suggestion above) Example: His head fell back and his body arched (One, heads don't fall back and bodies don't arch on their own. Two, he's lying on a bed already so this visual seems off. I'd do: Ben collapsed against the pillows and arched his back) Head hopping: I'm not sure what POV you are using, third obviously, but are you limiting to just one viewpoint per character per chapter/section making these head hops or purposely switching viewpoints in the same section using omniscient viewpoints for your two main characters? If you intend for this to be limited Ben's POV in third person, which is how it started so what I assume, then you have a few head hops: Example: Adam opened the bedroom door and stopped in shock on the threshold (Ben can't know exactly why Adam stops. You could show it from Ben's POV to make it obvious, though. I'd do: Adam opened the bedroom door and froze. He stared with his mouth wide open.) Example: Just tasting his mate’s blood, and hearing him cry out in completion, had been enough to make him come just as hard as Ben had. (There's no way for Ben to know this. You'd need to have Adam tell Ben he came from tasting him and hearing his pleasure to share it with the reader) Small things: You have Adam pushing the door to the bedroom open, but if it was shut how did he hear Ben all the way outside, with the front door shut too? I'd refine the visual to have him push the door all the way open, indicating it wasn't shut. Either that, or refine the scene so that the reader knows that Ben knows Adam could hear him through the doors/distance because he's a vampire. You did say comments and feedback are welcome. Sorry, I know that's a lot of info. Feel free to me PM about these comments and/or your story posting. You are more than welcome to post the story here. I posted mine as an eBook last year, but I think I'll post as both the story and eBook on GA this time. Congrats on finishing your story, and I hope you enjoy the event! It's a lot of fun all summer.

I want to know why the graphic for It's and its says riding a wolverine but the damn critter's a manatee. LOL The bad thing about these types of writing rules is that you must just KNOW them. There's no substitute for knowledge with program editors.

Oh maybe... you never know what I'm going to come up with, lol!

Oh, the mating thing is very, very strange... and I'm so glad someone picked up on that! LOL. Definitely more drama to come and lots about both Yuri and the Tiger.

The Tiger roared in challenge. He was big, bigger than Benny. It didn’t matter. He crouched with his truck at his back. Under his arms and in close was Benny’s best bet. It put him in danger, but it would also put the Tiger’s chest and neck in reach. He’d have to risk getting his back sliced up. He focused his gaze on the neck, knowing he could take the other Tiger. He couldn’t think any other way and hope to win. “No!” Yuri streaked past and slammed into the Tiger just before he hit Benny. T

May already! For many we're on the cusp of a new season and for some of us it's still pouring down rain, grr. I thought this month I'd feature a story with a lot of duality in it. Then, I decided to do something a little different and do a series. Now, I know a novel series would be far too much reading, but Thorn Wilde's Jacob and Marcus Tales just fit the bill, with all the 8 stories in the series under 8k in length. *Story #5 in the series is a set of 2 short prequels* I hope you enjoy this series featured for May's CSR Book Club! Jacob and Marcus Tales series by Thorn Wilde Description: Marcus is the maladjusted, borderline sadistic and really quite brilliant editor-in-chief of the campus newspaper, and Jacob wants him. The only problem is that Jacob is just about as maladjusted and out of touch as the object of his desire. Contains gratuitous swearing and a bit of a masochist kink. Stories: Soft Hard Weak Strong Firsts *prequel* Then Things Happened Sex, Booze & Consequences What Meg Said A reader said of Soft: Hilariously explosive dynamic between our two maladjusted heroes. ~ Miles Long A reader said of What Meg Said: Totally loved Jacob and Markus and the ever spinning tidal waves they ride! Some more please?! ~ Smoothy The CSR Discussion day will take place on Monday, May 26th! Thorn has agreed to do a chat time at 11 PM, GST +1 (3 PM, PST and 12 PM, EST) **Reader Warning** There is a lot of explicit language in this series. Do not read if it bothers you.

Happy Birthday, Comsie!

How Yuri will react to everything is the question--especially this Tiger, Benny, the venom, etc... More coming soon! Thanks for reading, avidreadr.

So much adrenaline, so much drama! I'm glad you liked it, secretsides!

Oh yes, yes, so much to learn about this strange, threatening Tiger. The true question is definitely how Yuri will react. Hugs, Thanks for the review, Cannd!