Cia

So far so good. You have a smooth flow to the dialogue. You've introduced us to several characters in a way that wasn't confusing, and we now have a good sense of Ulysses' life. But... What are you going to do to make this different from all the other high school stories posted? Keep that question in mind as you write further. Good luck!!

Asking for suggestions is always a good way to be pointed toward the best stories of any genre, but we do need to know what you're looking for, lol. Aside from that, please remember that GA Stories is fully customizable. If you click on 'genre' in the Browse options to the left of the story listing you can search for genre, length, status, rating, tags... in any combination and see what the engine finds for you.

Yes, this time is going to bring in things from both of the other 2 books in the series and explain any questions readers might have left from their stories. It's all coming together now! I don't review your stories either, lol, we both spend so much time working on them for each other. Thanks for this review anyway!!

"That's not fair!" Dav’s voice was low, hissing as he spoke. Ahsran took a step forward, and Dav's head snapped up, glaring. "Don't even think about it!” His fangs were flexed, the slender points gleaming deadly white in the light. I could hear the promise of violence in his voice and really hoped that Ahsran would heed Dav’s warning; his anger was swamping our bond, and I knew he was on the edge. "They won't hurt me or you," I said, "so please calm down. We need to figure this out once and fo

Hi new members! Quite the influx! Sorry I missed you Chad002, good luck posting. Read the faq and it should answer any questions you might have as to posting on the site. Hi Roan! Fellow redhead I see I never had cool nicknames from my hair though-as a kid it was carrot orange, lol! This site is a wonderful resource for new writers. I didn't start really writing or posting until I joined and look at me now. Check out the writing and editing forums for topics about writing and how to polish your work. I always advise getting a beta and/or an editor too; they are an invaluable help. hi Deathboi... that's just a normal hi back I hope you enjoy the site! Joekeool, have fun exploring the site. There are many great people to meet and a lot of different forums to explore. As for the warn status-everyone has those but you can only see yours. For now you have a warn status of 0 but if you break GA's ToS you agreed to when you joined, you can receive warn increasese for the incidents. Only the member and the mod/admin team can see the warn status on your account.

So, this is a common editing mistake, one of the top five. Plot is very important. As a beta/sometimes editor, it's something I've seen before myself. So, when we read there are two things that make a story stand out. The 'hook' is what intrigues us and makes us want to read your story. The climax is the point the book wouldn't exist without; the whole reason for your character and plot to exist.The problem comes when a writer doesn't have a good idea of what their hook or climax is... or when they happen in the story. In my mind, the hook is Point A-the place that gets the story off the ground and gets the reader engaged in the world. A man standing before a gravestone, a plane is going down over the ocean, the world is blowing up and aliens are kidnapping humans... what have you. Without a good intriguing beginning, I get bored and usually won't keep reading. So, you really need that hook to pull your reader in at the start of your story. The climax is pretty obviously Point Z. Your story and all it's sub-stories and plot devices should culminate into a final point that gives the reader the satisfaction that whatever your story is, it's now over. The bad guy is caught after a graphic shoot out, a couple-newly married-walks down the aisle hand in hand, the aliens are heroes and help re-seed the earth and put the humans back... You get the idea. Between Point A and Z you have all the other letters of the alphabet. This is the journey you must take your reader on from the idea you start the story with and the way you end that idea. You need to show the world your characters live in, their lives and emotions-good and bad, events in their lives. They're clues along the way to your climax really. The biggest thing is to make sure that each one builds on the last and that they all further the story without dragging it off-topic. Each scene must contribute to that journey you are taking toward your climax. So, when you write, keep in mind the journey you are taking the reader on and don't forget your hook and climax!

Hey now, the thirties are not that bad. Well, I'm in my first year so maybe it gets worse. I feel for you Ashes. You don't think so at the time but drugs make a person stupid. I remember partying one night when I was 14. Similar start to yours, lots of drinking. Then the other things showed up. Whatever I had was laced with something else because I could swear my heart was going to explode and I was going to shake apart. I ended up getting dropped off at home at midnight, left alone to hide in my room where I proceeded to stay up the rest of the night wondering if I should wake up my parents to take me to the ER before I had a heart attack. It hurt and you would think an intelligent person would not do that again. I didn't learn my lesson though and it took two more years of stupidity before I cleaned up my act. As bad as it sounds, the final straw was way worse. So, 21... not that bad for you to wake up and smell the coffee (which is horrid at AA/NA meetings, btw). You did stupid stuff but you're changing that around now and making a new path. Maybe you can help someone else in time learn from your mistakes and make them have a little bit more purpose. I'm so glad for your sake that you are okay and that you have managed to go 8 months of one day at a time. Keep it up!!

That is one of the things I had to suspend disbelief on as well. However, I'm not sure if a person would have no inklings that they would be willing to be in a same sex relationship until they were 18 or not. One thing you have to remember, Matt was written as being bi, not gay. The mindset of a person who is bi is not the same was one who is gay imo. You can't lump everyone into the same mental progression when it comes to the realization of their sexuality. In some ways being bi can be more confusing. The degree of your attraction isn't all or nothing and for me, it very much depends on the person. It's feasible that Matt was the same way.

Hmm... not really. In person strangers make me very uncomfortable and I am not a big fan of women in large groups, they tend to turn into harpies in my experience. I tend to be very easygoing with my friends and I've fiercely loyal to them but I keep the group I am really comfortable with small. Otherwise I'm just faking that hi, how are you, so nice to see you acquaintance babble. And if anyone touches me, all bets are off! Do you like your middle name?

A very emotional first chapter. You introduced a lot of characters for the story and there were a lot of ups and downs from sadness to raging anger. I'm sure this scene has happened many times before and you brought it to life. Nicely done.

Welcome Fitz and Jacob. It's always nice to have new authors and readers on the site. There are plenty of great stories here to read. That saying, if you want more visibility on your story Fitz, make sure you read and review for others so they'll do the same, post a story topic in the GA Stories Discussion forum, maybe link in your signature to your story... Good luck!

Don't put yourself down, even in your own thoughts. It doesn't help; there are too many people out there willing to do it for you. We don't think you're stupid or toxic, thank you very much.

LOL! GA tends to do that to readers. Not all of them mind you, but quite a few. You get ideas and think, is there a story like this one that I want to read. No? Well... Hmm... Maybe I should write it. Then the craziness begins. If anyone had told me that letting one story into my head would mean the voices would sometimes take over and force my fingers to fly over the keyboard to give them life... I still would have done it. So, good luck in your writing endeavors and finding an editor. I have far too much on my plate to offer but I would suggest getting a sample of your story written and placing it with an editor/beta request in the editor's corner if no one offers. There is a pinned topic that will give you more information on how to form your posted request to the best effect.

What shocked me was my perceptions as time went on. Those infant times are the easy days to me now! Then again, I have strangers tell me, enjoy your kids now, those are the easy days and I look at them cross eyed as I'm chasing them down in the store or listening to whines about how they just NEED that new toy. Cliche, but time flies. Kids change so damn fast and its easy to feel like you're missing things. But when it counts, you'll be there. You'll have memories for her of these baby firsts and you'll continue to make them even when you have to work, I promise. Thanks so much for sharing the pictures. She is adorable.

I did have Dav tell Ellis that Benny had a rough time of it. Maybe he'll show up in another story; hard to tell at this point. I'm glad you enjoyed the story Elezbed!

Interesting premise so far; just hinting to the fantastical. I wonder if Alex is fully human himself. I hope you continue with this story. One thing, you formatted this to have really tiny print and because you messed with it I couldn't make it bigger with the GA Stories controls. I'd edit this and make the text bigger-it made my head hurt to read it and if I wasn't doing so to approve it I probably wouldn't have read it just because of that.

LOL! I know, I know - I tend to torture my characters. With this story though, the angst was mostly 'off screen' since they both had issues before they met that created conflict but nothing big happened during their courtship. I'm go glad that it seems like people enjoyed this, it was a lot of fun to write last week.

I echo Nephy's wish for you wife; I've been through recovery of a sorts for a broken hip and helped patients. It's a tough injury but I trust she will be fine with you by her side. I think that hindsight is both clear and a tad deceptive. We know what happens in events but the choices we make in the moment so often have emotions that just don't have the same impact from the distance of time. I often wonder what I'll think of my life when I look back. Your grace in how you do so is definitely an inspiration.

Thanks for the review Percy. I did just want a nice, easy story for my readers. Glad you enjoyed it.

Ughs... that was a spot I put the story down and then came back to it. I changed direction and marked it, or so I thought. Thanks so much for pointing it out. I try to keep all my details together but sometimes they escape me. I really appreciate readers letting me know if I get something mixed up So glad you enjoyed the story and my writing in general, thanks again for the review!

I'm glad you loved it Daddydavek! I was going for sap and love and well, everyone enjoys a good dose of lust when they first meet too. I just really wanted to write a romance in honor of the coming Valentines Day, I guess, lol. Jerret was a very minor character in Hypnotic so he was perfect to give life to. Thanks so much for the review!

Thank you Dark! I focused on the characters in this story, their romance really is the whole story actually. Jerret and Calix were very vivid in my mind along with their families so I'm glad that came through in the details to you as the reader. As always, love getting reviews from you since you're so specific in what you've liked. Lets me know what I'm doing well! thanks hun!

Jerret took a sip of his soda and set it down. He idly slid his fingers over the condensation on the glass as he stared around the restaurant at all of the happy couples. He was seated at a small table in the back, obviously not a prime date location, which was fine because he wasn't on one. Even if it was Valentine’s Day. Especially because it was Valentine’s Day. Instead of being holed up in his apartment where he'd spent the sappiest holiday of the year last year, he was at the closest rest

Jerret lied to his best friend to get out of dressing up in a heinous Cupid costume by saying he had a blind date. Turned out to be more true than he knew when Calix walked in and asked to share his table. But there was something strange about the male and Jerret didn't believe in commitments or love. Right?

To stalk Lugh! Seriously, the man never finished so many stories I loved and I started sending him pm's to come chat with me so I could bug him for more stories to get him to finish them. I had to join to use the pm/chat system, lol. Plus, I like to read and I liked how GA's stories are a cut above the general free fiction content and how welcoming everyone seemed. What inspires you?