Ozymandias
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Everything posted by Ozymandias
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Good story, W-L. I think it is hard to develop a well-rounded picture of a character in a short story but I think I got a good idea of what makes Ben tick. That's good writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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What a hoot! I loved every snarky word of this chapter. I hope Demented can sustain the atmosphere for a whole story because after this first chapter I'm hooked but good!
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Anal Sex + NO Condoms = too stupid to live! What a shame. They survive cancer only to die from venereal disease. --The Old Microbiologist
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I can understand why you had to take a break from the weekly time and effort necessary to produce a new chapter. What I can not understand is how you could simply abandon your readers, who after 34 chapters obviously had some personal investment in the story and deserved better from you. In lieu of chapter 35, could you not have published something like the explanation you just provided? I think your readers would have been supportive and wished you well and waited for the story to resume (well, I guess waiting faithfully for three years is a bit much to expect).
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Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
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I'm enjoying how the author has kept us in the dark about whether Gil is a man or a woman. Given that the story is in Gay Authors, i'd bet male.
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How about putting a map of the entire station (if that's what it's called) in a future chapter. There have been so many buildings, paddocks, roads, etc. described by now that I have no mental image any more and feel like head is going to explode if you put in so much as a single fence post in a future chapter. Thanks in advance.
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This chapter seems to be a good start for a story about two boys' adventures on the high (probably several meanings could apply to this word in this context) seas. That said, I am becoming increasing irritated by stories with word choice errors all over the place. The very first sentence of your story contains one! I nearly stopped reading right there. I assume that these idiocies are a result of your computer helpfully supplying a word it thinks you might want and you carelessly accepting it and moving on. You must proofread your chapters slowly and carefully so you can catch and correct all these errors. Your readers will thank you. -Oz
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I wish I had been a fly on the wall to witness George at his aristocratic best play that old fart for a fool with every sentence! What a gem you wrote in that exchange!
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It's great to see that you are well enough to resume writing new chapters of Black Widow. I'm always anxious to read more about my favorite completely dysfunctional family.
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I like the story but I was appalled that a supposedly smart guy like Davey would have unprotected sex with a man who just got out of prison. Even fictional people should not be shown as that dumb.
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Where can I find the listing of new chapters to existing stories that was on the right-hand side of the old format? Or is it no longer available?
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Great timing, Mark You gave me something that I could actually be thankful for today. I wonder who has the sword to cut through the horrific Gordian knot your plot has created. Welcome back to my favorite GS author!.
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I've complimented you on your writing in the past, but what the hell happened to proofreading your writing before submitting it for publication? This chapter is a disgrace.
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Chapter 43 Good Dreams
Ozymandias commented on Parker Owens's story chapter in Chapter 43 Good Dreams
I'm relieved that Andy has finally been able to tell his horrible story to sympathetic and loving hearers. You write so well that I could just hear Andy's soft, matter-of-fact voice telling each ghastly detail of his life to people who probably can not even imagine how horrific it would be to endure such treatment. I hope they were as impressed as I am with Andy' ability to find ways to survive and surmount every difficulty thrown in his path without becoming bitter or self-pitying. You have created a Mahatma, a "Great Soul" in Andy. And Mr. Stevenson better be a damn good "junk-yard dog" of a lawyer! -
Hunter, This looks looks like a promising start for a new story. I like your writing style and that you appear to have proofread it before submitting it to GA. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
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Looks like this story will have a very interesting cast of characters. I look forward to reading about their adventures.
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An ocelot shifter! I had to look up ocelots on the web because I wasn't sure what they looked like, but now I know they look a lot like small leopards. They are such beautiful and distinctive animals that I can't imagine how anyone, especially a vet, could think Tavo was just a domestic cat. This promises to be another great story. Thanks!
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Finally! But I'm surprised that Zander didn't feel the welts on Andy's back when they were kissing. Or maybe he did but it didn't register because he was feeling the elation of first love. Thanks again for writing such a beautiful story.
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Chapter 25 The Easter Weekend Part 1
Ozymandias commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 25 The Easter Weekend Part 1
I wish I thought that all of Fran's meticulous planning was actually designed to get Robbie and Nathan together rather than being in single-minded pursuit of her own deflowering (what a term!), but I know that would not be a credible plot twist for anything other than an afternoon soap opera. Ronnie brought all the mess with Fran on himself but his reasons, as you have presented them, are all quite understandable for a fifteen year old kid. All I can say is if I were in his situation I would have Guinness record level “performance anxiety.” Good luck, kid! -
I ache for the Alpha and his wife. We do love our children unconditionally and to be in the position of having to exile or condemn to death my child would destroy me, even if I agreed that the punishment was warranted. The end of the chapter indicates that we shall see more of the young sociopath, so I fear that the Alpha will have to execute his own child eventually. This subplot certainly more than balances the rosy main plot line.
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I like this story a lot; it is both well written and well plotted. I think I understand Robbie's schizo feelings but I don't get Alex at all. He seems like the most relaxed bi (if that is what he is) I've ever read about. We shall just have to wait and see how you develop his character in coming chapters. He just better not hurt Robbie or I'll sic Amy on him!
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Timothy M is right: "quirky" is a perfect description of Toph. I look forward to learning more about him and following his romantic endeavours.
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This story just gets better and better. Thanks for your great work.
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Chapter 38: Christmas Eve
Ozymandias commented on Parker Owens's story chapter in Chapter 38: Christmas Eve
Wonderful, heartwarming story with characters I've come to care about greatly. And beautifully written!. Thanks.
