AFriendlyFace

I received this in my email from them: I agree that that certainly seems like one hell of a "glitch". Of course, if they're really sincere about making amends for these 'technical problems' perhaps they ought to feature their top selling GLBT related books for the next week or so. It would only be fair to the authors who lost revenue over this, the users who couldn't find content, and the GLBT community which was snubbed. -Kevin

Thanks for the heads up on this, Jessi. I for one had not yet heard. My own letter of complaint, stating my decision to cease shopping at Amazon until such a time when this policy is removed, has been sent. -Kevin

Well, let's just say I probably wouldn't meet your "doesn't talk too much" qualification Ya know, I actually think I have a couple of exes I could point your way

Hey Luc, I've really missed you around here. I wish I had something clever and soothing to say, but unfortunately I don't. All I can do is wish you well with your physical and emotional recovery. Oh and your feelings do matter. That was the only part of this entry that I felt the need to disagree with you on. For the record and for what it's worth, Interlude is still one of the most evocative and beautiful things I've ever read. Take care, -Kevin

This poem most definitely fits beautifully and perfectly in to Catholic style prayers. Indeed, the poem itself could almost be a traditional prayer. I'm also taken by how reminiscent it is of the works of Saint Augustine! I probably wouldn't have flinched at all if I'd been reading his Confessions and turned the page and found this poem staring at me. Such mastery and accuracy in any such poetic vein is most impressive! Like all good art, it also does not merely emulate or perpetrate a cheap 'copy'; instead, this piece seems completely authentic in its own right. It's also quite obviously deeply personal, and steeped in heartfelt, soulful emotion. It is essentially an offer to eavesdrop on a deeply private and important conversation between the narrator and his Saviour. Like much of the artistic expression in classic Catholic times - the paintings, the sculptures, the architecture, and most assuredly the literature, prayers, and poetry - it seems to be a sort of 'labour of love.' The eloquence and beautify of this piece most definitely seems to be for the purpose of the glorification of God. It's brilliant, beautiful, and extremely effective, Anthony! Well done! -Kevin

Please let's drop the discussion of bisexuality in this thread. Apart from obviously being somewhat inflammatory it's also mostly off topic.

That's so cute!

Well, let's see, most of this is negotiable, but if we're just describing our 'perfect guy' I'll play along. He would probably be about 5'7'' or 5'8'', a little taller or shorter is okay, but my preference would be for under 6' He'd have a slender to toned sort of build. I tend to go for two main 'types' Blonds/red heads and Asians. Any race/complexion type is okay though, but those tend to be the ones I go for the most. I definitely prefer smooth. I generally prefer him to have medium to longer hair, generally not as long as shoulder length. Bangs are usually preferable, but if he has a cute hairstyle without bangs that's okay too. If he's white I do prefer blue eyes or green eyes (obviously I don't expect that if he's Asian, black, or Hispanic). Lately I've also been really attracted to guys with nice fingers, hands, toes, feet. I guess in order to have this they need to be neatly trimmed, hair free, and fairly slender without being bony. I like a nice set of lips too. I'm not overly picky here, but if they're a bit full and pouty that's pretty cute. A great smile is very important! I want it to light up his whole face. Nice teeth are obviously quite preferable too. Generally the whiter and brighter the better. Also, generally the straighter the better; however, I've known several attractive guys whose appearance seemed inexplicably enhanced by slightly crooked, non-perfect teeth. A cute nose is nice too. What makes a cute nose? Well generally not too big, long, or crooked. It should primarily 'fit with the face' though. As far as equipment (and let me remind everyone not to get graphic and to leave very sexual comments out of the discussion) I really don't care very much. I do like a perky butt and really tight, firm abs though Personality wise he should have a good sense of humour that isn't hurtful or offensive. Witty and sarcastic is fine, desirable even, but he mustn't be mean with it (unless there's a good reason, like if the other person is already being a major prick). He should be very intelligent, intellectually curious, a quick learner, and ideally at least fairly knowledgeable in a number of areas. He should not however be a know-it-all or behave in an arrogant or condescending way. He should be obviously intelligent, but not flaunt it or make other people feel intimidated by it. He should be very independent but pleasantly social as well. He should be just fine and happy spending time by himself, spending time alone with me, spending time with one or two other people, or being in large, group settings or party/club type environments. I don't want to feel like I have to 'entertain' him or worry that he's nervous or uneasy. I want a very equal dynamic between us in pretty much every way and I very much want to avoid one of us always taking the lead or always being submissive. In general I want a very 'versatile' relationship in every sense of the word. In terms of hobbies and interests I want there to be enough common ground for us to interact a bit here, but I think it's fine, or even desirable if we each have a lot of our own interests that the other person isn't especially involved with. I do think it would be nice to have a few random ones more or less in common though. For example if we both enjoyed reading things relating to the same topics that would be nice because it would be fun to discuss and debate them. Or if we both enjoyed going hiking that would be nice because we could do it together. In general, I think it's good for both people to have their own interests, but I think there should be enough common ground to facilitate stimulating, enjoyable conversation and shared activities that both he and I enjoy. First and foremost we would be able to have good conversations and communicate directly and effectively about our thoughts and feelings. I would like him to care about and be involved in gay culture and gay issues though. That does not mean I expect him to spend all of his time in a gay bar or carrying a picket sign, but I would like him to be comfortable socializing with GLBT people and be aware of and care about things which impact us. I would also like him to, at least from time to time, watch gay themed movies with me, or read and discuss gay related articles with me. As I said, I think it's good for us to have our own interests and activities, but this would be something where I'd need him to at least make the occasional effort and be legitimately interested. He should be a very kind, caring person and he should have a strong sense of personal values and morals. Ideally one which he's thought about and developed independent of religion or social/civil/legal rules. Obviously I expect a great deal of overlap, but what I want to avoid is being with someone who just takes these things at face value. In terms of religion and spirituality I don't really care at all. However, it would be nice if he had some sense of spirituality in his life, was at least fairly knowledgeable (or willing to learn) about the major religions and spiritual movements, and first and foremost if he were very tolerant and open-minded of other people's beliefs. In terms of education I'd prefer him to have, or be pursuing, some degree in higher education. However, if he were intelligent and learned in general not having the physical degree wouldn't particularly matter to me. In terms of career/job I don't really care as long as he's happy and not doing something I consider harmful to society or himself. I would also definitely want him to be doing something which he actively enjoyed or felt good about doing versus something he thought he 'should' do for whatever reason (parental/social pressure, or because it's financially lucrative for example). Regardless of what it is I'd like him to come home and want to discuss it and not only complain about it. I mean it's fine and good if he can vent about it, but if it isn't something he's ultimately excited or happy about doing, something which he can't say, "overall, this is a good job for me." Then I'd prefer him to find something else. It would be better if I didn't have to financially support him (which sort of goes back to the equal dynamics thing), but depending on the circumstances I'd probably be willing to. On the flip side, I don't want him to have to financially support me either, but if he had a lot of money and we could have whatever we wanted, that'd be cool. Anyway, I don't expect perfection, but since I took this thread to more or less be about describing our perfect partner, that's a brief look at what mine would be like. Take care all Kevin

I think it's admirable that so many people so far have indicated that they write, and will continue to write, without caring whether or not other are interested. I don't feel that way though. At least not entirely. I write because I like exploring emotions and ideas. Note that I did not say that I like exploring plots. I think I can see how it could be satisfying to someone who enjoyed writing plot driven pieces to simply get them out. My stories aren't plot driven though; they're emotion/idea/character driven. Plot is always very secondary. It's simply the tool I use to take my reader on the emotional or intellectual ride. I'm not trying to 'tell a story' per se, I'm trying to make my reader happy, scared, amused, angry, jealous, etc. I'm also often trying to raise philosophical or moral questions or simply make them view things from a new perspective. The plot of the story is just the tool. I really don't think "I want to tell the story of someone who..." I think, "I want to explore role reversals" or "I want to tell a story about trust." Then I start thinking, "OK, how can I evoke this thought or feeling in my reader? What plot-line do I need to use?" If asked what my stories are about I would always answer in terms of the emotions, ideas, or concepts I'm trying to convey. I would be exceedingly unlikely to regurgitate the plot. So yes, I could still consider these issues on my own. It is after all nice to meditate on thoughts and feelings; I do it all the time. However, to be honest if this 'solitary' action were my only objective I probably wouldn't bother to write them down into coherent stories. Instead I would likely continue to keep them in my head, or simply express them diary style. No, I write because I want to evoke a certain type of feeling or thought in my reader. I want them to think about something or just feel something. The story is really just the 'wrapper.' So, if no one reads my work then I feel a bit like I'm wasting my time. Who is experiencing those feelings? Who is contemplating those particular ideas and issues? Sure, I did when I wrote them, but as I said, if that were my primary objective I'd probably go about it in a different way. Thus, I can't really choose "Write what you want and disregard what readers like." I similarly can't choose "Change the sort of stories you write to make them more popular" because in that case I probably wouldn't feel enough creative license to explore the emotions and thoughts that I wanted to explore. Thus I would again be wasting my time because my primary objective is not just to write stories people will like; it is to write stories I want to write that will elicit certain emotions and thoughts in my readers. The options, "Just share your stories with friends" and "Completely give up writing stories" are viable solutions I suppose, but they're certainly less than satisfactory. I do want to write, so giving up isn't a good alternative. I also tend to share my emotions and thoughts more directly with my friends so I'd rather reach a newer, wider audience. Thus, "Try to find a venue with readers who are more compatible" is the only option left. However, I feel it's the best option anyway. If the reader isn't open-minded and receptive we're both wasting our time anyway. Just my thoughts Kevin

I didn't enjoy the poem half as much as I enjoyed reading what Jovian and then Corvus had to say about it. Corvus, please don't take that as any sort of criticism or failing of the poem itself; I simply love reading literary analyses. I think what everything hinges on is whether or not the reader takes the piece to represent two separate points of view or one disjointed one. I had understood it from the point of view of two separate points of view and read and enjoyed it in much the way that Corvus expressed in his response. However, it's fascinating to me that the poem can be read in the other manner as well and still produce a very interesting, vastly different understanding of the piece. I really enjoyed Jovian's analysis with the exception of his comments about masculinity/femininity. However, that's a personal bias because I'm apt to downplay gender as much as possible. Indeed, the only reason I study gender is so that I can destroy it Obviously, a very thought-provoking piece, Corvus! On a side note, let me once again congratulate you for producing another wildly fascinating, highly experimental poem! In fact I'm tempted to say you're the most experimental person I know! (Obviously I should clarify that I mean "the most experimental poet" but isn't the innuendo in that ambiguous statement delightful? ) Awesome job! -Kevin

This is a fun little piece, Tim! I particularly like the alliteration in the first line. It seems to be a poem that is fundamentally about finding one's peace in the world. Quite enjoyable, thanks Kevin

That's very thoughtful! Charming piece, Jovian

I have a lot of thoughts on this; let me see if I can sort them out. I feel very ambivalently about this poem. A great deal of it I very much agree with and I think the piece expresses those sentiments beautifully. On the other hand, there is much in the poem that I don't agree with; I still think the poem expresses those aspects beautifully as well. Let me see if I can get a better handle on this taking it sections by section: This is beautiful and I really like and agree with it Yes, I can agree with this part as well. It's a sadder truth, but something I consider meritorious nonetheless. This is the part of the poem I most "dislike." Really the part I most vehemently disagree with. I'm against any sort of "challenges" or tough "training for hard moments" and I'm certainly opposed to "small bouts of violence." I think it is necessary to let our loved ones fight their own battles at time and to leave them to their own devices. However, I'm quite categorically opposed to creating any of those battles and hard times, even for "training" purposes. I think life will naturally bring more than enough challenges. Love should be a more nurturing force. So I would get out of the way when necessary when it was time to let my partner (or any other loved one) learn a lesson on their own, but I would not actively create this challenge for them. Well, that's true, but I wouldn't make that a central expression in a love relationship. Better to leave it as something tucked more quietly away in my opinion.

That was a very moving piece. I think it expresses the feeling of love, desperation, and ultimate tragic acceptance quite well. It is sad that it takes two people to create a relationship, but only one to decide it's over.

LOL, allow me to play Devil's Advocate a bit It sounds to me like the politician is simply ticked off because the elephant might not sire a herd. That not necessarily homophobic so much as it is business. If the politician feels like they made a big investment with the expectation of creating a herd of elephants, then it's no wonder that he's ticked off about this (as he likely would be if the elephant were simply sterile or something). I think Ninio deserves to live somewhere where his sexuality will be accepted and where he can be himself, but that place isn't necessarily as the lone male elephant for a zoo with breeding aspirations. On another note: In other words this could all just be a phase.

So last year my best friend was dating this guy and he seemed nice enough at the time. I was friendly and pleasant to him and generally wanted to make him feel welcome in our group. My friend was happy and that's all that mattered to me. Then the boyfriend broke up with my friend, and he did it in a pretty mean way. He ridiculed my friend's interests, hobbies, and values. It was also revealed that the (ex) boyfriend was doing coke and lots of other drugs, and had been, unbeknownst to my friend, the entire time they were together (about a month and a half or so). Later my friend also told me he'd tried to pressure him into having unprotected sex. A week after they'd broken up he sent my friend a text saying how glad he was that they'd broken up because he just met the greatest guy. Anyway, at this point you'd be right if you guessed I'd come to the conclusion that ex-boyfriend was a total creep with a high likelihood of self-destructing and taking those around him along for the ride. So I did the standard 'getting over a boyfriend' routine with my friend. We hung out a lot, had quite a few dinners, indulged in some retail therapy, had some drinks, spent a lot of time laughing and trash-talking ex-boyfriend. You know, all the standard stuff. Eventually my friend got to the point where he was saying he was glad it was over and that he was also relieved that ex-boyfriend had shown his true colors before he'd gotten sucked in any further. Sounds great right? Well not so much... About a month later ex-boyfriend (apparently done with re-bound boy) started texting my friend saying how stupid he was, and how much he wanted my friend to give him another chance. At first it was no big deal and he didn't get very far. However, he's been trying the same thing off and on every couple of months since, and my friend just told me that he's more than likely going to go out with him again. I'm pretty pissed and worried. I've already told him that I want him to make his own decision and that I'll support him regardless, but I also let him know in no uncertain terms what I thought about ex-boyfriend and my opinion of a reunion. So I guess now all I can do is wait and see what happens. According to my friend ex-boyfriend is adamant about how much he's changed, but then again how likely is he to say, "I'm still a massive prick, wanna date me again?" I just feel like my friend is making a terrible decision and it's hard for me to sit on the sidelines and watch. I keep asking myself whether I should get more involved and do more to stop him, but that's completely against my principles regarding interpersonal relationships. I really think people have to make their own decisions. At the same time, I'm thinking maybe I'm already too involved. Maybe I shouldn't be giving my friend quite so many warnings and quite so much advice. Maybe I shouldn't be spelling it out that I think he's making a mistake. Maybe I should keep my opinions more to myself. That's not so easy for me either though. Eh, I don't know. Anyone have any thoughts on this? -Kevin

Fascinating story! It was a different sort of piece. Brett did strike me as very naive to think doing gay porn was a good way to find a boyfriend and establish a healthy gay life. I suppose that's true to life though. As you said, not everyone 'makes it' in gay porn and I'm sure a lot of guys don't know what they're getting involved with. Falcon isn't really my type of studio; I like the twinkier, gayer sort of guys, so I think most of the actors I like are legitimately gay. Sometimes during interviews you can listen to them and think, "Hmm, I wonder if they know what they're getting into?" I actually was surprised in the end when it was revealed that Brett had committed suicide. I was expecting him to just generally leave the industry and do something else. I suppose it does act as a cautionary tale to young, naive gay boys who might have been considering doing porn. Brett did indeed seem badly cut out for it. Anyway, great job -Kevin

I know I'm a bit late, but Hedwig is one of my favourite GLBT related movies so I thought it was worth a good comment! I'd love to have done a philosophy paper on it! How did yours come out, Billy?

I can't really add anything to what James already said. I pretty much agree with all of it, except I'm a bit more open-minded about saying the L word sooner than 3 months. Anyway, good luck with everything!

I was just thinking how terrible it would be if a fish crept up behind you in the dark and started tickling you!

Very good strategy IMO! Well, I'll let it go this time Yes exactly! That's precisely what I was thinking. Who's to say he isn't sitting around thinking, "is she serious about me or did she just want to get in my pants and make me teach her more about cars?" OK, so he probably isn't thinking that in so many words, but the point is it sounds very mutual and even if it doesn't work out it doesn't necessarily mean that anyone was using anyone else. However... It sounds like it is working out. Good luck Kevin

Hmm, based on a description of the travails you two encountered, I'd say this is the very reason other people walk the earth (to take pictures for you) Anyway great pic and congrats on the anniversary

That was my impression as well. Hmm, I suppose that makes sense. It seems to me though that the general is going to pick everyone up and get them off the island just before the volcano explodes. In which case the bombs would be with them presumably.

That does sound like a whole lot of wonderful on your plate!