AFriendlyFace

I agree! I also think that the whole "top" or "bottom" thing says a great deal about general relationship dynamics which may or may not have anything to do with sexual expression. Anyway personally I am versatile and I'm generally only comfortable having relationships with other versatile people. I do lean slightly top though - in every sense of the term. I also think that for really great and satisfying sexual expression who puts what where isn't all that relevant. Besides, my best sexual experiences have all been very versatile as well Anyway, I didn't actually vote, because I don't feel like either the top or bottom label accurately encompasses me. By the same token I still don't feel quite comfortable with the gay vs. bi thing either. I am a culturally gay, sexually bisexual individual who expresses himself in a very versatile way which leans slightly top. ...And how come that wasn't one of the choices! -Kevin

I think he's got a point. You've only seen each other twice; it probably is too early to know just how compatible you are with each other. I generally think several dates are needed before any sort of commitment is entered into and even then I think it should be a milder sort of commitment more along the lines of, "let's be exclusive with each other and see where this goes" than, "let's move out to the 'burbs and get a dog." As is oft noted divorce/break up rates are pretty darn high nowadays. I think it's true that to some extent that's because people are more likely to "give up" too soon; however, I personally think one of the biggest factors is the fact that no one knows how to date anymore. Courtship is all but dead. Nowadays it seems like people are picking out their china pattern on the second date, or else prematurely saying, "well I'm not completely dazzled so I'd better move on." Personally I think that's a little silly. Give it a few dates, then decide where you stand as a couple. So yeah, I think that in general he's right. By the same token, I would have to caution you against pushing him too hard to make a commitment or to quit seeing you completely. Don't force him to choose, the sensible middle option (strictly my opinion of course) is to wait and see. I've been with guys who pushed too hard for too serious too fast, and generally I have decided to end it. Why? Because I just wasn't in any position to say, "yes, let's make a serious commitment." It would have felt too rash and reckless. I needed more information and so did they. Of course, you obviously want to avoid being in a "non-relationship" with him for months on end or still be only "semi-serious" after two or three years. At some point you do need to make your decision and you need to get him to do the same. I just don't think that point should be after your second date. Eh, just my thoughts. Take them with a grain of salt -Kevin

It probably wouldn't be inappropriate to ask in his forum either (just a guess, not sure which Dan prefers). I just pop into this thread every year or so to once again state that I originally wandered in after finding Dom's TOU on Nifty and then coming here in search of more chapters. I'm sorta like a stray cat in that way, only with chapters instead of milk. Dom kept feeding me and when I didn't leave they eventually gave me my shots and let me in the house.

What is your name? -Kevin Are you 100% happy with your life right now? -No. Right now is a kinda of crappy time. I'm generally happy with my life though and I expect it to get better. Will you be married to the person you have kids with? -I can but hope. Why are you best friends with the person you are best friends with? -He's a great guy and we care about each other a lot. We seem to fit together pretty well. Are you this persons best friend too? -Yes Are you a jealous person? -No, I'm one of the least jealous people I know actually. Why are/aren't you a jealous person? -I'm not a jealous person because I like for the people around me to be happy and I'm generally fairly secure in my own standing. How many times have you truly been in love? -I probably haven't been. Maybe once...maybe. Do you think relationships are hard? -I think people make them harder than they need to be, but yes, there will always be a level of difficulty. Is your boyfriend/​girlfriend everything you've been looking for? -I don't currently have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I haven't really been looking for either. Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it? -In a general sense, yes. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? -Right now, might not be the best time. I'm kinda overwhelmed. Generally I'm in favour of this though, but in this case they might want to give me a couple of weeks. What are you listening to right now? -My fan motor. Do you like to spend time with people? -Yes, and I also enjoy being alone. Right now I'm only getting moderate satisfaction from doing either though. Do you care if your boyfriend/​girlfriend drinks? -He/she is welcome to imbibe as long as it is done safely. Do you like the smell of gasoline? -Not as much as I used to. Who was the last person you were in a vehicle with? -Brian What was the last thing you laughed really hard about? -Brian and I were having an amusing conversation about copyright laws. Have you held hands with anyone in the past three days? -I can't recall. Definitely in the past week, but perhaps not in the past three days. What are you doing tomorrow? -Going to work, then I plan on coming home, turning off my phone, and locking myself in a dark room (it's really not as grim as it sounds, I really like doing that, especially on Fridays, even when everything is great. It's a relaxing way to start the weekend.) Are you still best friends with the same person as the beginning of the year? -Yes Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood? -If it's already raining and I have access to an umbrella I bring one. I don't watch the weather though so it has to really look like rain for me to successfully predict it if it isn't already raining. TEN things you wish you could say to ten different people right now: 1. I love you. 2. Quit being so self-absorbed. 3. I'm really proud of you. 4. I do trust you again. 5. I'd like for us to try again. 6. Leave me alone. 7. I hate that all we talk about anymore are stressful things. 8. You're a really cool person. 9. You're more fun when you relax. 10. Dude! I haven't seen you in forever! What have you been up to? Do you think before you speak? -Usually what are you doing Thursday? -This is Thursday, so answering this survery. Are you listening to music right now? -No. If you were one of the Seven Dwarfs, which one would you be? -Overall Happy even though right now more like Grumpy. Have you ever flown first class? -Not that I recall, but I've rarely ever flown in the first place. What is one topping you MUST have on your pizza? -Must I have pizza? If so then it must be very cheesy and I prefer it if it's cream sauce based instead of tomato sauce based. What is the opposite of a hamburger? -A Luxembourger? Do you talk in your sleep? -Not that I know of. Have you ever played in the rain? -Yeah...you know I think that's something I'd like to do now. It wouldn't be as much fun in this neighbourhood though. Can you pick things up with your toes? -Yes Have you ever eaten frog legs? -As a matter of fact I have. Your absolute favorite shirt is dirty. Would you still wear it? -Probably not. I have so many shirts I'm sure I'd just pick another one. Guys: Have you ever been in the ladies' room? Girls: Have you ever been in the men's room? -Sure, lots of times. If the men's room is full and it's single occupancy I just ignore the signs completely. If it's not single occupancy I wait. Of course I've also accidentally walked into the ladies' room quite a few times. Have you had sex with more than 25 partners? -Probably. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house? -yeah How many different colors are you wearing right now? -none, I'm nude. Do you want someone back in your life? -Yes If your friends warn you about someone, do you listen? -I take their advice into consideration, but make my own decision. Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? -Again currently not so much. Generally, yeah. Have you ever kissed anyone with a last name that starts with K or Z? -I was supposed to get a last name? (Kidding!) Has anyone ever sang to you? -Lot's of people have sang with me. How has 2009 been for you so far? - Overall it's been good. Last person you told a secret to? -I'm not sure. Next time you'll go out of town? -Saturday. Last person you hung out with? When? -Brian, a couple hours ago. Know anyone named: Winter, Summer, Fall, or Spring? -No, I haven't had the pleasure of Autumn either. What do you think​ babie​s dream​ about​?​ -Hospitals, vaginas, breasts, themselves, etc. Do you think​ guys shoul​d get pedic​ures?​ -Definitely! What would​ you do if at the age of 18, your fathe​r told you he was gay? -Be excited about being 18 again. Silve​r or gold?​ -Silver Can you dance​?​ -Depends on what type of dancing. What one word do you think​ you could​n'​t go one full day witho​ut sayin​g?​ - "the" Does your milk shake​ bring​ all the boys to the yard?​ -As a matter of fact, yes. What do you order​ at McDon​alds?​ -I don't eat there. I remember liking their fries though, and a glass of water is always a safe bet.

LOL, I didn't think it objectively sounded that bad. I mean if a guy I was dating told me I looked beautiful, kissed my forehead, etc., well that would probably work on me. I think the important thing is the execution and also they dynamic. It's possible that Eric made it sound cheesy and regardless as Jansen said it didn't fit their dynamic. In general though I don't think what was described would be a bad way to be romantic with someone. It just depends on the people and the situation IMO.

I got a kick out of it. It's hard to resist the obvious "Is that a grenade in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" line. Yes, I was thinking that as well; although, clearly the foreshadowing indicates otherwise. I bet neither one of them will break their streak. My hunch is that in a fit of embarrassment over last night's events Eric decides to join forces with The Scar and eliminate everyone else so that no one can live to tell the tale of his sexual mishap. In other news, I absolutely loved this chapter! It's my favourite one of the past several chapters. Brian and Keith are making such a cute couple! LOL, and while I know I never actually got around to posting it, I 'called it' right away as soon as they met. The scene with Eric and Jansen talking things out, and Jansen seducing Eric, was just awesome! All in all a thoroughly fantastic chapter! -Kevin

Good luck! I hope it goes well

Here you go, dude: New Brother It is an awesome story! It's one of my all time favourites! Make sure you tell Graeme what you think of it Happy reading! -Kevin

WOOO HOOO!!!! Congrats Libby!!

Woo HOOO! Happy Birthday, Myr!! I hope your day is filled with the joy a thousand spring afternoon and may the coming year blossom into something truly breathtaking! -Kevin

Well I have some thoughts. It sounds to me like you might benefit from living in the moment a little more. What I heard while you were telling your story is someone worrying, "What should I do? Is this okay? Is that?" and then later, "Now what's going to happen? Will he call?" I say try to relax and be happy! Did you have a good time? Do you have anything to regret? If the answers to those questions are yes and no respectively, then I'd say the situation has already turned out just fine. I would suggest that when you meet someone you just try to enjoy your moments with them. If they also enjoy their moments spent with you, then maybe you will both enjoy many more moments together. If not, well that doesn't dilute the happy time you have to look back on, and there's always next time Regarding this, definitely don't borrow any trouble. Just wait and see what happens, and remember even if he doesn't call Wednesday, that doesn't mean you can't call him. Good luck, Kevin

Hmm, well I have some thoughts on this. You might not like them so much though. I kinda agree that it's unacceptable to just break up with someone by completely ceasing to communicate with them in any way. I hate breaking up with people, and I've done my share of vague excuses and general ignoring. However, I don't think that's really the best way to handle it and I definitely don't think a complete break in communication without any explanation or notice is okay. Even if everything is really overwhelming I think a simple text saying, "I'm sorry, this really isn't working for me and I can't be with you anymore and will no longer communicate with you from this point forward." Is better than nothing. Second, I can't really fault David's friend. If someone f**ked with one of my boys I'd be pretty pissed and protective too. Indeed, while I wouldn't threaten anyone, I'd certainly act to prevent anymore harm from happening. It sounds like his friend is being pretty reasonable. He had an initial, visceral reaction and then started to think more objectively while still making his loyalties apparent. Maybe he is in love with David or maybe he just loves David and is pissed when people hurt him. Or maybe both. Either way his loyalties are supposed to be with David. My loyalties of course are with you. If you've found a way to make your situation better and to be happier then believe me I'm delighted and glad you did it. Even if it was at the expense of other people's feelings; I care about you and your feelings more. Sometimes these sorts of painful things are unavoidable and relationships are always messy things with the potential for a lot of hurt feelings and disappointment. At this point I hope you can just move on with a minimal amount of pain, anger, guilt, or disappointment. I hope your next relationship either doesn't end or ends much better. Either way I hope it's very happy and rewarding for you. I also hope you're able to take something good from your time with David, and your time with all of your exes and find something to smile about from each of them. Take care and congrats on being free and able to start to move on -Kevin

YAY!! Congrats Cyn! Awesome pool! -Kevin

Oh no! I completely missed this thread! I hope your birthday was filled with lots of joy and happiness! May the coming year bring you all the good things you deserve. Happy Belated Birthday, Mark -Kevin

Very beautiful picture all around

Have a very special and happy birthday, Menzo! Miss ya, dude! -Kevin

That sounds fantastic! My sincerest apologies for having to wish you a belated happy birthday, Graeme. Your presence around the site is invaluable. Your skills as an author are innumerable. And your value as a friend is immeasurable. Have a fantastic day and an awesome year! -Kevin

Well, I think at this point I'd be remiss if I didn't over a layover in Houston I generally prefer longer hair myself, but you look just fine with your hair as is

Damnit, Jamie! You've gone and pissed me off and now I'm going to have to hit you with both barrels! Damn right that isn't the way it is. If people don't like you, f**k THEM! As long as you're living for other people's approval you'll always be miserable. You've got to do it for yourself. You've got to find meaning and purpose in yourself. You don't need anyone else to justify you. You're a person in your own right and nothing and no one can ever take away your humanity or your worth. First off, I doubt that many people really dislike you or are disappointed with you to begin with. Even if they are though (and as I said, I doubt they are), so what? Since when did you start breathing to make other people happy? Ignore the SOBs. Go one with your life and do your own thing. They aren't worth your time if they can't care about you and support you as you are, and if they can care about your and support you the way your are, then they aren't going to want you to sacrifice yourself and your happiness for their sake. Of course you do; that's human nature. I remember once in one of my psychology classes they were talking about negative memory bias and they showed this cartoon of a guy getting all these compliments. Everyone was saying how wonderful he was and how much they liked him. Then this one person said he was joke and a loser. The caption read, "this is what he's going to remember later." And it is. A dozen people could tell you you're awesome, but if one person says you're a jerk that's what's going to stand out and you can't really help it. However, it is worth remembering that a dozen other people just said you were terrific. Does it matter because they like you and care about you? Actually it doesn't. That isn't going to give your life meaning either. But maybe it will remind you that you do have a lot of great characteristics. You think they're lying or just saying it to make you feel better? Why would they? Sure maybe they're nice people, but I'm a pretty nice guy, and when I don't like someone I just don't say anything to them. I wouldn't be wasting my breath if I didn't like you and care about you. I'd have just ignored this post or said something trite like, "aww, it'll get better." Instead I want to take this opportunity to tell you that I think you're f**kin awesome and I really like you, care about you, and desperately want good and happy things for you. No, it wouldn't. What would be ideal is if you quit thinking everyone hated you and instead focused on the positive tings in your life, or at the very least got over the negativity and moved on. And, even assuming that's true - which it isn't - that isn't enough? Love is pretty damn powerful stuff. If two people care about you that much, I think that makes you pretty damn lucky and special. I think it speaks very highly of your relationship with them that despite everything else you're able to get over your self-doubt and negativity and focus on the fact that they really do care about you. How many people can truly say that they're confident in the unconditional love and acceptance of another person, yet alone two? Seems pretty frickin special and important to me. First of all, who says you're a failure? The only person whose opinion matters in this is you yourself, and I think it would be advantageous to ask yourself by what ideal and values you're living. So get a job, go back to school, meet new people, find something stimulating, and f**king enjoy yourself. Sounds too simple right? Yeah well it is, but if that's what you need to make yourself happy then you're just going to have to frickin do it. Since when is "failure" this permanent thing? I think the whole "better luck next time" thing applies here. First of all, please don't let your job or your education define you. No matter how great or crappy they are those are just pointless measures of life (at least in my opinion). You're not any better or worse for having a good job or a good education, or for lacking them. They just are. YOU, the real you, the you underneath at all, matters way more than that. As for friends and family, well it sounds like you have at least one loyal member of each, and I bet you'd find even more if you looked beneath the surface. Regardless, all this goes back to not living for other people's approval. Amusement and satisfaction? That's so fleeting and subjective. You could amuse yourself with a dandelion and find satisfaction in the way your breath scatters the tiny seeds. Or maybe you could amuse yourself with a good book and find satisfaction with the way the author punctuates. Regardless amusement and satisfaction are easy, albeit temporary, escapes. If you want amusement and satisfaction then by all means go do something amusing and satisfying, but please don't think you'll ever have these states permanently or that you'll ever quit having an infinite number of opportunities to re-attain and enjoy them. Because I said so and whether you believe it or not I care about you, like you, and respect you. So now all you can do is tell me to f**k off, in which case you accept that other people's opinions don't matter - which should go a long way toward making you feel better to begin with - or you're stuck accepting my will and my opinion. In which case you realize that there's another person out there who cares about you and you're just stuck continuing to breath and trying to be happy. Jamie, I can't fix your problems. I want to, and believe I would in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't. I will listen and be there for you while you work on them though. If you ever need anything just ask. -Kevin

Dude, are you me? Seriously, vegetarian and trying to let a guy down easy without explicitly breaking up with him....sounds like I wrote this post! I'd help you out...but obviously I'm not the best person for that since I get myself into these situations all the time

I want to wish a very terrific and special birthday to my fellow Domoholic, Mayamys! Wow, 18! That's a big one! I hope you find yourself with all the happiness and contentment that you deserve and may the coming year bring you the answer to all your questions! -Kevin

I wanted to wish a very awesome and enjoyable birthday to the other Kevin around here! I hope your day is filled with happiness, excitement, and fulfillment and may you get exactly what you want this year! -Kevin

Just wanted to wish Tom a very happy and special birthday! I hope the day is filled with all the joy and peace that you deserve and may the coming year find you ever closer to your goals! -Kevin

Jamie, they'd have almost certainly thought you were just babbling still!

LOL, you know "Cowboy Junkies" is also the name of a band (also known as "Cowboy Mouth") I briefly had the complete wrong end of the stick! Anyway, welcome aboard, Indie! -Kevin