AFriendlyFace

Gosh it's long! Do you guys think I'd like it?

Hey Steve, great to meet you! Don't worry it's good to do some re-thinking about your life, who you are, and your priorities. If you don't you also end up with what is known in pyschology as "Identity foreclosure", which is definitely NOT a good thing. So take you time and sort out what's best for you Also the world won't always come crashing down on you, some days it'll be so busy crashing down on someone else it won't even notice you! On days like that I recommend walking around with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart Take care , Kevin

Hey Green! So I have a theory, but you're probably not going to like it that much. Also of course I don't know your situation that well and feel free to tell me to "shove it", but here's what I think could be going on: Your mother's always been pretty supportive of your sexuality right? Or at least is now? Well if I remember correctly "The Liar" is gay and he and his own mother had a falling out once she found out? Well I think it's highly possible that your mother, being a kind, compassionate woman, feels very sorry for him and is able to emphatize to a great extent. I mean maybe on some level she's thinking how no one should treat their children that way, and maybe even imagining how your own life would be different without any support. It isn't a completely uncommon reaction for parents of gay children to want to get involved and help other young gay people whose parents aren't there for them. In much the same way that I feel very sorry for and compelled to help other gay people who've had a much harder life than me as a result of their sexuality. It's also possible that she actually sees something good in the kid. I mean I'm completely on your side about the way he behaved toward you and Chaz, and you have every reason to feel as you do toward him. However, he's probably shown a much nicer side of his personality to your mother. Also, while his problems aren't an excuse for his behaviour, they do really suck. I mean the guy obviously has quite a few issues. It sucks that it's your mother trying to help him, but someone probably should. Also isn't he and his mom a friend of the family? It's possible your mother feels all sorts of other responsibilities and duties to her friends and their offspring. Anyway I'm not trying to criticize and you were right to take some time and space, as RH said; you don't want to do anything to make it worse. If you're comfortable with it though, at dinner perhaps you could bring up (as calmly as possible) why "the Liar" is still there. Anyway I hope I haven't given any offense and I wish you the very best with everything. Good luck, have an awesome day, and take care! Kevin

I almost joined one once!.......But then I didn't. I'd think James is right, depends on the club and the people. Might as well give it a go though, you can always quit going to the meetings if you don't like it, and it'll be a good chance to meet new people. Kevin

Well my first Latin test is tomorrow. I'm really rather concerned about it. Mostly because I don't think I'm that ready for it AND because now I feel like I'm going to disappoint my professor. But it'll work out, I'm going to study a little bit more before bed and hopefully it'll be enough. On the bright side he's allowing us to use our Latin dictionaries for the test. Which is awesome because, truth be told, I never bothered to learn my noun endings (something I should have done at the beginning of the FIRST course, this being the third). He also tends to emphasize verbs alot more than nouns. Also good because I'm much better with verbs. So anyway I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope for the best. Heck I should at least PASS this test, and I can worry about passing the remaining three after that, and when it comes down to it just getting through this class, graduating, and getting on with my life is really all I'm concerned about with regards to Latin. In other news I've started yet another story (which I'm sure I won't finish). I was pretty excited about it, I was thinking I'd do it with one chapter from the one character's POV, then the next chapter covering pretty much the exact same stuff only from the other character's POV. But it really is unlikely that I'll actually finish it. I think of ideas and things I'd like to write about all the time, but I never seem to be able to sit down long enough to write them. I've also, finally, begin reading "Eats, shoots and leaves" I can't believe it's been out so long and I only just got it and started reading it. It's quite good. I'm a pretty good "punctuator", but like everything else, I tend to filter my punctuation through a lens of creativity which suits my own personal taste and style. For me nothing's ever completely black and white, even comma usage. I mean if I want a comma "here", to better convey the way I personally want to speak, pause, and break up my sentance; well I'm just going to put one! But it's still a delightfully fun book to read, and I suppose if I were going to publish something I would follow the conventions (as I do when I turn papers and stuff in). I also had an enjoyable time writing this short paper for my Literature class. If they're short and opinionated -as was this one- (I thought I'd start playing with dashes in the spirit of ES&L ) I quite like papers. To get to the crux of this post, I've also decided that I want to learn Spanish. No I've decided that I WILL learn Spanish. I've got my mind set on this one; I'm going to learn Spanish! So I bought this box course thing that had 12 cds and a work book with it, and I did a little bit of the first cd, but then I decided I didn't really like the way this course was presented and I ended up returning it. Unfortunately after I returned it and checked out the other course available at that store; I decided I might have been best off with the first one. So right now I don't have a course , but I did find a pretty good Spanish website. Anyway if anyone knows of a really good, very comprehensive Spanish book/website/cd/dvd whatever. Please let me know! I don't actually have time to take a course at my university since this is my last semester. Also I'd rather do it on my own, for myself, as fast or slow as I like and without any formal evaluation. So I'd much rather do it with one of those Spanish training courses you see on TV (at least I'm guessing they still advertise for them, to be honest I haven't watched TV for several months). Anyway I'm looking for something that would start me off at the most basic level but progress to a very high degree of proficiency -and ideally fluency- by the end. I'm not looking for anything for "travel" or "business"; nor do I want any of those "Learn Spanish in your car" or "Learn Spanish in 10 minutes a day". I want something indepth. So does anyone have any recommendations? Anyway take care all and have an awesome day! Kevin

Awww thanks you two!! I really appreciate that , and just so you know I think you're both completely wonderful and teriffic too!

Hey Green! I definitely agree with RH; there's no reason to assign labels. In fact one of the really great things about being in a homosexual relationship is that you don't have to deal with stereotypes and assigned roles! For me it's important to remain balanced. I'd never give up my indepedence and strength, and I'm naturally protective and "gentlemanly". However, I also love to feel taken care of and, for lack of a better word "pretty". So I don't think I'd ever be comfortable in a relationship in which I'm supposed to routinely be the tough, dominant one. And I KNOW I wouldn't stand being submissive for more than five minutes. I say enjoy the gift you've been given -a balanced personality and a balanced boyfriend! Have an awesome day and take care, Kevin

Hey Ronnie! I agree with Kaiten; you should never let other people's reluctance to do something interfere with your desire to do it. Unless of course it's something that really does need to be done "together". I guess what I mean is it's healthy and important to be self-reliant. For me, if it's stuff I really want to do regardless, I just invite people to do it with me, not even "asking" them to. Like: "I'm going to see ___at the movie theater, want to come?" If they do great, if they don't I might ask someone else or just go on my own. So anyway it's awesome that you're going to do it anyway! Way to do, and let us know how it goes Good Luck and have an awesome day! Kevin

Aww Nick, I'm so sorry to hear you got hurt . That sounds very painful, did you blackout too? I hope you feel better soon. Great news on the editor, I'm looking forward to the next chapter of your story! Also thanks very much for the award . Have an awesome day and take care (and your pain pills), Kevin

Yep that definitely seems to be a common thing for very homophoic individuals. It is very tempting to give them the old "Methinks thou doth protest too much" line. But it is possible other things are coming into play (I think anyway). Like simple socialization, a perception of how "a man's man" is supposed to act and talk etc. I quite liked this story, and you know on the surface of things you would naturally assume that the above quote would be applied to gay men too. I mean theorhetically a homophobic straight guy (by himself) would be hesistant to tick off two other men (in this case gay).

Well I think it's definitely true that some people who are vocally homophobic are indeed secretly freaked out about some of their most private feelings. However, I think there's ALOT of stuff coming into play here with not only the tests but also homophobia on all it's different levels. Firstly, I tend to hold a view on human sexuality which is very unpopular in both the straight and gay culture. In fact I'm a tad hesistant to even voice it here; however, I will and I don't mean to challenge anyone else's beliefs/opinions. Also anyone can just assume they are one of the "rare cases". Basically I feel that sexuality is EXTREMELY complicated, and very very few people fit neatly into the gay/straight/bi boxes we've built. People in our culture, for whatever reason, need a label so they're pretty much stuck with one of the three. Frankly though I believe that most people will, at least on some level, find sex and sexuality arousing. I think it's true that many (or maybe even most) people are predominately attracted to one gender or the other, but I find it really hard to believe that MOST people can't find ANYTHING that they find sexually exciting in ANY members of the "unchosen" sex. People connect in so many different ways and are attracted to so many different things. Have many of you really never found yourselves checking someone out from behind; "enjoying the view", then when the person turned around you realized they were the "wrong gender". Well what's really the difference? If you were checking them out and enjoying what you were seeing that's really all that matters (IMO). I for example am much more often attracted to guys. I find the male face more compelling emotionally and erotically, and I really like the male body. However, any attention/attraction I have towards the male genitals is on a more intellectual/emotional level than an animal/physical level. But don't get me wrong, I'm very animal/physical about other aspects of the male body, especially the face/stomach/HIPS/butt and arms and legs. With women I'm less often attracted to them sexually. I find the face generally less "exciting", and with the exception of the breasts and genitals, which I am somewhat "interested in"; I'm mostly indifferent about their bodies. But of course I can easily form good friendships with women. I also tend to think any expression of love/affection between any two people is sweet and touching. To add to the mix there are general types of people I find more attractive than others. Which I won't go into for fear of offending anyone. But all of these are just general rules about MY sexuality. I see exceptions to the "rules" all the time. Do I care? Nope, not one bit. I don't care who I'm attracted to or why. If I'm attracted to the person then so be it. It's the same with all my "likes" and "dislikes". I have no problem adjusting my previous assumptions/beliefs to fit with new information. I don't like pork but sometimes I find a dish I like. I don't like rap or techno as a whole but there are still many songs I do like. ETC. ETC. So I identify as "gay" because it seems to hold the most features I find important, and because while it might be possible for me to be physically attracted to some women I feel that for the most part I wouldn't be able to connect in a "romantic" way. However, if I found myself physically attracted to a women and rapidly developing romantic interest, then of course I wouldn't look back. I just think that while that's vaguely possible, it's highly unlikely. So anyway getting back on topic, I don't think it's at all odd that the majority of men ("homophoic" or otherwise) would be able to become slightly aroused watching something sexual. I also think that there may have been a sort of mental thing going on as well. I mean the guys may have been extremely concerned about becoming aroused and thus did, in sort of the "don't think of a blue elephant" way. Also I think that a great deal of the less aggressive, more implicit homophobia found in society is largely a result of fear of the unknown and unfamilar. So anyway that was long-winded and probably full of things people can flame me for. But that's what I think. Take care and have a great day all! Kevin (I'm "gay" I promise! )

Of the ones already mentioned I like "The Board Room" and "The Lounge" the best. However, in general I'm inclined to agree with Shadows; I kinda like it the way it is. Ditto to most of the site. On the other hand I'm sure something new would grow on me too, unless it was just horrible.

Excellent! Way to go Green. That was a great idea, and very nice of you. I'm looking forward to the next installment of the shadow boys. All the best, Kevin

Way to go Green!! I hope David is ok. Best of luck.

You sound awesome dude! Congrats to you and your guy, I hope you guys are always happy together I'm a (very) liberal Christian, so probably coloured by that. However, I could only imagine God as a purely positive experience and thus don't see why you wouldn't WANT to believe in a God. But that's your perogative I suppose, anyway if he exists(as I believe) I'm sure he loves you I fall up the stairs WAY more often than I fall down them. And Newton didn't think things fell up My cats are teriffic! Though Lucky just snuck into my room (which she's not allowed to do), and gave me quite a scare when she brushed against my leg........of course I gave her quite a scare when I jumped shrieked, so I suppose we're even Take care and have an awesome day, Kevin

That's very sensable if you ask me! The dentist is my biggest fear too. I go about once every 3 years lol! But I take REALLY good care of my teeth, in fact I consider them one of my best features. I brush like 5 or 6 times a day, floss pretty often, and I don't drink any tea, coffee, or carbonated bevs (I'm strictly water, soy milk, fruit juices, and the occasional alcohol). So anyway I went about a year and a half or so ago, and got a really good report. He said "just keep doing whatever you're doing" so I was really happy and relieved (though just the exam freaked me out), anyway that night I had this horrible dream in which he said "oops, sorry about that, read the wrong report. It seems you've lost all your enamle, we're going to have to rip them all out" Then he chased me around the rest of the dream Was gonna say the exact same thing

Actualized type: ENFP (who you are) Extroverted (E) 68.57% Introverted (I) 31.43% Intuitive (N) 74.29% Sensing (S) 25.71% Feeling (F) 63.41% Thinking (T) 36.59% Perceiving (P) 50% Judging (J) 50% ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population. *The current algorithm breaks the tie randomly so refresh the page to see alternate results Preferred type: ENFJ (who you prefer to be) Extroverted (E) 70.59% Introverted (I) 29.41% Intuitive (N) 81.25% Sensing (S) 18.75% Feeling (F) 69.23% Thinking (T) 30.77% Perceiving (P) 50% Judging (J) 50% ENFJ - "Persuader". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 2.5% of total population. *The current algorithm breaks the tie randomly so refresh the page to see alternate results Attraction type: ENFP (who you are attracted to) Extroverted (E) 55.32% Introverted (I) 44.68% Intuitive (N) 61.9% Sensing (S) 38.1% Feeling (F) 56.25% Thinking (T) 43.75% Perceiving (P) 59.09% Judging (J) 40.91% ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population. *The current algorithm breaks the tie randomly so refresh the page to see alternate results LOL it's funny that I came out as a dead tie for Perceiving vs. Judging, but then I usually do. I've taken similar tests many times before and what I get on that category is pretty random. I'm almost always Intuitive and Feeling though. I value thinking and sensing too, but I seem to naturally be more I and F. It's odd that my extroversion score was quite that high. I usually tend to be slightly more E than I, but not often to a significant extent. BTW I didn't like this version at all because it kept asking "I'm attracted to____", but I'm attracted to EVERYONE! LOL I literaly marked being attracted to everyone except "regular people" who I was indifferent toward and "conventional people" whom I was slightly opposed. EDIT: Isn't it funny that three of us got "journalist" but it's only supposed to be 8.5% of the pop? Of course my results were a tie for P or J and it randomly picked one for me.

Hey Dom! I agree the new story is awesome! I was very happy and excited to see it. And please don't let this stuff bother you too much. Just write at your own pace and churn stuff out exactly as you want it. After all it's your story and your business, and the people that are complaining fell in love with your writing the way you wanted it. Anyway thanks again for posting anything at all for us, and take care of yourself! Kevin Edit: I believe it's something to the effect of: "I wish the bastards weren't permitted to scare you", but I suck at latin. LOL and how dare you, oahu, make me translate on the weekend! LOLOL j/k I actually need all the practice I can get.

Yes I really liked him in Taxi!

Hey Green, I'm so sorry about you and David's argument. I think he was definitely out of line calling Chaz an A@@hole for doing something NICE. And not knowing why he hates birthdays so much I can't begin to offer any insight. However, I would guess that there's a couple of things going on here that may have led to his other remarks. Clearly he is jealous of the relationship you and Chaz have. And while I'm sure you guys don't flaunt it, just being happy is pretty noticeable. A lack of screaming and arguing is probably enough to irritate someone you live with who is having serious relationship difficulties. There's nothing you can do about that. The problem is his not yours. I certainly wouldn't recommend you and Chaz start fighting so that he and Rob feel better. The other thing I'm guessing is that you really did strike a nerve the other night when you made the remark about them just breaking up already. It's good that you apologized, but you can't exactly "take it back", and there's no way of knowing how upset or hurt David (or Rob) might have been. Especially is you're right, and they are close to calling the whole thing off. Weren't they good friends before they started dating? It's probably a very complicated and confusing time for them. If they do break up things can never go back to the way it was between them. It'll always be a little different. It'll also be different between them and the rest of you guys. In a normal break up everyone can just retreat to their close friends for more or less unconditional support (most people just agree with their friend regardless of the actual situation). But here with them sharing so many close friends, lots of insecurities are bond to crop up. I also doubt you'd really want to be in the middle of their break up. So in general I'd say David was upset because he really is worried about an immanent break up and the repercussions involved. My advice, for what it's worth, blow off his out of line remarks (after all YOU know they aren't true), apologize again for any offense you might have given. Be there for him (and Rob), if they need you, but mostly try to stay out of their arguments. And most importantly give Chaz a big hug and kiss and realize how lucky you are. Good luck, Kevin

I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who reads my blog and offers support and advice, to all the great people I've met in Live Chat, to everyone I so enjoy interacting with on the message boards, and in general to the entire GA community, be they actively vocal or a silent reader. This is a great place and I've met so many amazing people here. I could never thank everyone enough for the kindess, support, and good times you've all given me, nor could I say enough in praise of Myr and GACs for keeping everything running so smoothly. And I DEFINITELY can't begin to thank the authors around here enough for the quality art they create, which has not only kept me delightfully entertained, but also given me new hope and courage. So my humble appreciation goes out most sincerely to you all. So today was good. It was very nice weather, I'm completely over that amazingly brief cold, and I had quite a bit of fun. My second class of the day is Latin, and I pretty much go to the bathroom before and after every class. I drink ALOT of water, I usually figure a minimum of 20 oz an hour with at least triple that for meal times. So anyway I was in the bathroom (lol gotta love stories that start like that) and I ran into my Latin Prof. (his class was next). So anyway I say hi and start to leave but he stops me. And he askes me if I'd spent alot of time reviewing before I got in the class or something, and says that I'm doing REALLY well and he's really impressed. So we have this nice chat while walking to class, during which he just keeps on praising my performance. So of course I was really pleased. There's just one problem. I SUCK AT LATIN! I really suspect I'm one of his weakest students, not one of his strongest. I'm in the 3rd semester, but I still haven't bothered to learn my noun or verb endings. The only reason I seem to be doing well is because we haven't had a test yet, and the quizzes haven't been that hard, and I've just been studying a little bit for them the morning of the class. I also have a tendency to speak up in groups/crowds etc. I don't know why, just the way I am. So anyway I do answer questions often in class, but that's just because this is actually my SECOND time doing this stuff, I dropped the class last semester when I had it with a different Prof. So I remember alot of the stuff (at this point, in about 3 weeks It'll all be new to me), and I'm not shy about answering. Anyway so now I'm worried about the test coming up on Wednesday. See I try to live up to my own expectations and the expectations of the prof/my classmates/family/friends/whatever. But in the case of Latin I was perfectly willing to just make any passing grade and get the heck out of there. I seriously wouldn't mind making a D, I mean it's my last semester and it can't really impact my GPA that much. But now that he thinks I'm good in it...........Crud! I feel obligated to try. Anyway so next I had lunch. I believe I've already mentioned before about this place on the 3rd floor of our Union that I just can't get enough of (it was in my post "The Cherries aren't the only thing Jubilant"). So this semester I've been going there pretty often, at least twice a week. Well I'm always raving about the place at work. So today I arranged to meet two of my work friends there so they could try it. They picked a great day too, the menu was awesome today! And they really enjoyed it. I also insisted on treating since I was the one always talking the place up. I love buying people stuff! Anyway I had work in the afternoon. It was good today, everyone was in a good mood. You guys remember me mentioning my friend/coworker, Patrick? Who was gay and worried about the fact that lately he'd been attracted to girls as well? Well he's in an interesting situation. He's got this guy who just asked him out to a superbowl party, that he's interested in and might start dating. BUT he's also got this girl he interested in, and wants to ask out. The guy is a blonde dancer/gymnast, and sounds HOT. Well lets face it I've got a huge thing for blondes, and gymnasts always seem hot. The girl is this sexy red-head he knows through friends and went out to eat with the other night. She sounded pretty attractive too, and they both sound like cool people. He DOESN'T want to try to date both at the same time ( ). He just can't make up his mind which one he wants to pursue. Personally I'm leaning blonde gymnast, but I kinda think it would be good for him to date the girl, I mean it's something he's been wanting to do for awhile, and it would probably do him good to explore that side of himself. Anyway I'm just proud of him for being open-minded about his attractions and feelings. When another co-worker overheard us though he had some explaining to do......I think he "went in" today .....llol but of course everyone was cool (if not surprised) about it. So I've made a decision. I have ALOT to do with regards to school, looking for a job, getting everything in order for the move, plus continuing to work. And I've been spending WAY too much time online lately. So I'm going to cut back. So hopefully, while I'm not "leaving", you guys won't be seeing quite as much of me for the next couple of weeks. I think I'm going to only allow myself to check this site ONCE a day, and for no more than an hour or so. Anyway take care everyone and you all ROCK! Kevin

LOL I know I'll get some shocked and horrified gasps for saying this but......I've never seen Back to the Future (or Wayne's World, or Dumb and Dumber, or a million other movies everyone HAS to see). SO I didn't really get it that much.

Hey Kitty! Thanks for kind post! I guess you're right sometimes people do sabatouge themselves. I just wish I'd quit lol. There's a quote from a Reliant K song: "the thing I hate more than everything, is how I'm powerless to dictate my own mood" I think that's pretty true of me. Even with less positive things. Like if I'm mad at someone (for a good reason), I can never stay mad very long if they're nice to me. I guess I just feel like if anyone should be able to control my feelings, it's me. Oh well I'll get over that I guess You were right about today, it was a beautiful day! Thanks and have a really really great day!! Kevin

Awww thank you Bev, I'm touched! I admit I do try to hold myself up to high standards, but I definitely wouldn't say I hate myself. Actually I'm one of my favourite people! You're right though I do need to accept that I won't be cheerful all the time. I don't even really feel bad about being a little grumpy with the people that were irritating me. I just feel bad about being "sour" toward perfectly innocent people because I was in a bad mood. Moods are definitely infectious, and if I've got a bad one I shouldn't make other people sick. I also regret that I let it ruin my whole day. On the bright side though everything's fine now. I worked out all the concrete problems I had. Which basically consisted of a mix up with my moving out date for my current apt. and my moving in date with the new one. As well as difficulty contacting the necessarily people at my university to get my dipoloma mailing address sorted out. I was starting to come down with a cold, which I'm over. And all the people that were in bad moods and that things were "tense with" before; I'm back on good terms with. Anyway thanks for the excellent advice and support, I really appreciate it. Have a terrific day and take care! Kevin

Do you cut your own hair?