AFriendlyFace

Yay for your wow moments! Sounds really awesome, Jamie! I'm really happy for ya

Happy belated birthday Hope it was a good one!

Happy Birthday

Well for me, as I said in my earlier post, it's not about something being a 'secret' it's about my partner respecting my privacy. If he wants to know something then I want him to ask, I don't want him to snoop through my things. It's not that I'm hiding anything, it's simply that I would consider it disrespectful and evidence of a lack of trust on his part. In the first place he should trust me not to be doing anything that would purposely hurt him/us/me and in the second place he should trust me enough to talk to me about his feelings and concerns if he is worried about something. As for not keeping boundaries, I personally completely disagree. I think it's very healthy for some boundaries, as well as a strong individual identity, to remain for the people in a relationship.

Hmm, well, I think I'd most enjoy a relationship with two other gay guys and that's what I was mostly thinking of. However, failing that I was actually thinking it would be a relationship with a couple of girls. It hadn't occurred to me that it might be with a girl and a bi-guy, however, that might not be so bad at all. I disagree. I think it would need to be like Graeme said. Time spent by yourself, time spent with each of the other two people individually, and time spent with the other two people simultaneously. I'm very big on alone time, and also on one-on-one time. In fact I can do lots of things and spend lots of time with people in a group setting, and I can get really attached to them that way, but I definitely bond the best with people when it's just the two of us one-on-one. I love spending time alone with people I care about. I think the all three people together part would be very important too, but I definitely think there would need to be a good individual dynamic going with each person as well.

I got a kick out of that! Terrific pic, Jim, and welcome aboard! Aww adorable pics, Jamie! LOL, I still wanna see this boy's face though! I like it! Hot pics, Joe! BTW, your GM has a nice rack

Welcome to the site, Gary! You'll be able to start voting in polls once you've made 5 posts I hate to point this out, Jamie, but considering he was your roommate, isn't that a bit like rewarding him for his bad behaviour?

Born in Virginia, grew up in Louisiana, went to school in a different part of Louisiana, moved to Texas.

Just wanted to say that I think everything you've said in the above post is very insightful and accurate!

Ohh, darnit! I'm late! Happy Birthday, dude! I hope you had a fantastic day and may the coming year bring you all the happiness, peace, and fulfillment that you can handle! All the best, Kevin

I started coming out I guess about four years ago. It was more selective at first, but once I moved, about three years ago, I decided that I was just always going to be out. So I'm out to everyone now and just never "stay in" very long when I meet someone. Of course I mostly socialize in the GLBT/Ally community anyway, so it's usually just assumed. I'm also out at work though. For me, being out is pretty much a requirement I have for my life. I would not be willing to work or socialize with people if I had to be in the closet. I would find it far too uncomfortable. I also personally feel like being out is something I can do to benefit the gay community. Take care all Kevin

Adorable kitties, James! Wow! I can't believe she's already 3! I remember when you posted her baby pics! Anyway, she's as lovely as always. He's so cute! My goodness! What lovely parents you have, Frosty! Your dad has the shiniest coat! Awwww, Marbles reminds me of a cat we had when I was growing up That's an awesome pic! He looks so sweet in it. I'll have to round up a picture of my girl, Lucky. She's terrific. I'm pretty sure she's the best cat in the world I partly gauge what kind of people my boyfriends are on whether or not they like her. Of course it goes without saying that she'll like them; she's never met a person or other cat/dog that she didn't like -Kevin

Great topic, Jamie I have some thoughts. Of course it could work, and of course there wouldn't be anything wrong with it if it's what all three people wanted. Personally speaking, I wouldn't enter a threeway relationship, at least I don't have any plans to, but at the same time I think I'm actually a fairly good candidate. I'm not really jealous at all. I do great by myself or with others, and I'm happy for other people I care about having fun and doing things, even if I can't be there. I also already love so many people, and if I wanted to I'm sure I wouldn't have any problem integrating sex, dating, and relationship stuff into the mix. So I'd actually probably be pretty comfortable with it. I wouldn't enter such a relationship though because I think the main issue would just be staying together as life and our different goals, opportunities, and objectives tried to tear us apart. Think how hard it is for just two people to stay together when one of them needs to change jobs or schools. Think about how hard it is to negotiate issues like children, money/budgets, where to live, and all the other relationship responsibilities. Honestly, I think just doing that fairly with one other person is hard enough. I can't personally see being able to make it work with two other people. A good example is something that happened just a few days ago. I was with three of my closest friends, whom I love and care about very much, and I was happy and we were having fun, but we had a ridiculously difficult time deciding where to eat, where to go afterward, and generally what we were going to be doing for the evening. Usually only two of us could agree. At best we had three people agreeing (usually with one only lukewarm) and the other person disinclined to go with the option presented. I think it would be very hard to negotiate day to day events with all three people in the relationship such that each is happy with the choices and decisions. I think when more is at stake, as it would be in a relationship, it would be even harder and more stressful. So I wouldn't personally enter a threeway relationship because I think while it could definitely work in terms of the emotional fulfillment of everyone involved, and probably for the sexual/physical fulfillment as well, I think the simple practical stuff would be way too difficult. I suppose if all three people are in a very settled place in their lives and have similar life plans and objectives it might be feasible. -Kevin

I think this is because she secretly only has one song that she pretends to sing in different ways I know! What the hell is up with our crazy Texas weather?! I'm in sandals one minute and a hoodie the next :wacko:

Have a very happy and spacial birthday, Billy! -Kevin

Have a very happy birthday!

Have an awesome birthday, Frosty! -Kevin

Hmm, the only incident I can remember happened about a year ago. I was walking downtown with a friend and this car passed with about four guys in it. As they were passing they rolled down the window and shouted "Fags!" It was windy and I hadn't even understood them, nor was I sure they were even talking to us. So I asked my friend what they'd said. After he told me, I shouted "F- off" at the back of their car, but they were already a block or so down the road, so I'm not sure if they even heard me. So that's not really much of an experience, but my response was to react aggressively in kind. I think a lot of it is posturing. I've been told several times that I have a confident, "don't mess with me" walk and stance, so I suppose that's why I haven't had very many problems in the past. On a few occasions I've gotten the impression that someone was thinking something derogatory, or snickering about something, but I've found that in almost all such circumstances, just catching their eye and giving them a questioning/challenging look is enough to make them become uncomfortable and stop. Of course that's in public, "social" places where people are less inclined to want to make a big scene. I suppose I would behave aggressively, in self-defense, in most such circumstances. I'm fairly confident in my ability to verbally go tit for tat with someone, and if they did decide to take it to the physical level I'd give 'em hell right back unless I was outnumbered or they were armed or something. Anyway, I think it's important to avoid violence, but I think it's equally important to act like you can and will hold your own, and then do so if it does become necessary. Just my thoughts -Kevin

I'm crazy about Canada! I've only ever had nice things to say about Canada and Canadians Everyone I know from Canada is really sweet and awesome, and from what I know of Canada's cultural, political, and social landscape I really approve. I've always joked that I wanted to die in Canada some day. It does seem like a really wonderful, peaceful place with a great attitude, and I definitely think I'd appreciate that as I got older. I'm hoping to live all over and go on lots of 'adventures', but Canada may actually be top of my list of foreign places to check out and settle down in. The only thing that might stop me is because over the past several years I've become aware of how much the weather can impact my mood. I'd probably do better somewhere that was sunny and warm for most of the year. Anyway, I'm definitely a big fan of Canada! -Kevin BTW, speaking of cool shows filmed in Canada, let's not forget about QAF which was filmed in Toronto.

Hmm, that all does make a lot of sense, Celia Well, I suppose I do have a lot of criteria for an "ideal relationship," but I know I can't necessarily have everything. I suppose I just need to work out the absolute most important things and compromise on the rest. I like to think I'm decent at compromising, but if I'm honest with myself, I can probably see where there's a lot of room for improvement. For example, despite being a fairly social person I'm also quite happy as a loner. I think that makes me prone to saying, "well, you go do your thing and I'll go do mine." I'm happy with that, but I suppose it isn't necessarily the most conducive attitude to compromising and finding activities we both enjoy. This thread definitely has given me some things to think about -Kevin

Sorry, I cross-posted with Celia That's exactly what's happened to me to an extreme degree in this one relationship I had. He just would not give his opinion, desire, or preference. After a while I gave up asking and just told him exactly what to do all the time. He was very cute, and it was really fun always getting my way without any complaints or resistance, but ultimately I felt like I dictator and I didn't like that one bit. I think I'm better off without an overly shy person. It's true that I'll "take the lead" and do the talking in social situations or in general "balance things out" as people like to say, but I really don't want that at all. I might be quite out-going and extroverted at times, but I'm also quite introverted and like being quiet. Furthermore, I think that ideally we could both enjoy being very out-going, or very quiet at the same time sometimes. Eh, I need a very balanced person to be happy. I'm not too into the whole concept of being "complimentary" to each other. I definitely don't want to do the whole "I'm out-going, you're shy" thing. What I am very willing and happy to do is, "I'm out-going in some areas, at some times and you can be quieter then." And "I'm quiet in some areas, at some times, and you can be more out-going then." That would be really nice, and I'd like that across the board on pretty much all traits, but I definitely don't want us to be "all the time opposites" in any areas.

I find this poll completely annoying! I hate the concept of power differences in interpersonal relationships, especially romantic partnerships. I always say that the whole 'reason I'm gay' is so that I can be in a completely equal relationship without worrying about damn (gender) roles. That being said, I'm certainly not perfect, and the truth is that I'm kinda used to getting my way My ideal relationship is undoubtedly the equal, 50-50 sort, but looking back over my past relationships there's no doubt that I've tended to take the lead. I seem to unconsciously find myself in the lead despite consciously trying to keep things equal. I suppose it's because I tend to notice if someone tells me what to do, and I don't tend to stand for it. On the other hand, I'm rather opinionated and I tend to speak up (which I don't notice quite as much ), so that's probably how it happens. I will say that I disagree with the whole "whoever is driving the car is symbolically driving the relationship" notion. I suppose that's very often true for relationships, but personally speaking I dislike driving when I'm with other people. In fact one of my main little wants in a relationship is that he does all the driving when we're together (that's not to say I won't tell him where to go or how to get there ). I'll also add that I find it very annoying when people completely abdicate being a part of the decision making process and then bitch about what I picked. I have a friend who is very picky, yet always tries to get other people to make the decisions. Invariably he's never happy with what the other person decides (he does it a lot with me, but I've watched him do it countless times with many other people as well). He really needs to just speak up! -Kevin

I know I've expressed surprise at this before, but I just can't believe how many of you despise the dishes so much! LOL, of course it's your prerogative and your own taste, and in many ways I'm glad since that means that my own easy-goingness about them will probably be in demand, but it's still a surprise! On many occasions in the past I've volunteered to help my friends clean up their places for various occasions or just general maintenance (and I guess I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time ). I always head straight for the kitchen on such occasions! With a few of my friends whom I visit very often, I frequently start idly doing dishes while I'm waiting for them to get ready.

Yay! I can't wait to go read it! LOL, but I'll have to since I have to get back to work soon

I'd just like to say how very honoured and delighted I am to have received a Readers' Choice Award. It means a lot to me and I'm very flattered Congrats to everyone who won! Also, thanks very much to Sharon and Kurt and the rest of the WST for all the work they put into the awards, to CJ for doing such an amazing job with the awards graphics, and of course to all the readers! -Kevin