Have you ever has just awoken from a dream and for an instant you could still hear the voices as if you were still there; and you were still a part of it? For the past couple of days it seemed like I had the hardest time waking up, I could hear voices, and see shadows when I closed my eyes, but it was all jumbled together and I couldn’t make out what they were saying… just chaos. They’d grow louder and LOUDER and LOUDER!!!
I gasped deeply, sitting up, clutching my chest as my eyes s
I had told you long ago that you would grow past it, reading this was a painful reminder of your past, but also a glimpse as a promising future. I know as i have always known that you will grow past your pain because there is a magical quality about you, it is your unwavering strength. I believe in you, I know that you'll be alright.
All my love.
C
Cailen Poem Rating OVERALL: 7/10
Content: 8/10- whimsical and cheery, reflects a childlike and fun aspect you don't get to see in many poems
Flow: 7/10- Pretty straight forward but some lines cause reflection which breaks the mood.
Poignancy: 7/10- personally i felt the ending did not reflect the mood of the piece and made me feel a little unsure if you were the wildman or not myself. It also felt like it was cut short.
Oh tell me! What am I inside?
But a broken heart, and a yearning that has told me from the start
“What am I inside?”
But pieces of my memories and my dreams
What am I inside?
In this broken dream all the pain grows,
Like a torrent flowing, on into my heart it goes
What am I inside? But flesh and bone,
Grief doesn’t seem to end, in the end I’ll know
Tell Me! What am I inside?
But a melody, and a harmony, and it drives into my soul and asks me this
“What am I
There once was a karate jock
With a soccer boy went for a walk
Till an old friend betrayed
And their love was dismayed
That's Second Shot's Plot that I mock!
You’ve locked that part inside of you, and you just can’t let it show
Don’t you know? Feelings aren’t that organized
You’ve put out life in front of you, as a laid out path to go
But this I know; the feelings that you try and hide
You think that you’re not good enough, that there’s nothing left of you
But I know, that you are bigger still, your love so strong and kind
You think that love is something built, but it’s also something that you do
And this I know; your heart
I read a nifty story about this. An arranged marriage between a wealthy oil tycoon's son, to the son of a head of a major bank. I think the story was indian in nature. so the idea is out there, if your child is gay to have a gay arraigned marriage. now if someone can find the story 50pts!
I think there is going to be a shocking number of transsexuals and suicide rates over there in a few years time. to do that is shocking and disturbing and really reflect a narrow minded bigotry that will eventually come around to bite them in the ass. (hopefully)
They didn't 'catch' him doing anything... they only know he slept over. Now if they put some condescending creep inside the apartment and he was like "so you're here to cheat on your wife..." then that would be awesome and ironic...
like most of my poems the setup works as lyrics to a song, oh course without the melody it runs kinda funky. I wanted there to be no resolution, it was intentional, like this poem the emotions behind it are complex. your correction was accurate and i adjusted it accordingly.
I am in the dark alone, tears stream down my face
I wonder how and why, I reached this forgotten place
I felt you pulling at my heart, but you began to slip away
And before you go forever, I have one thing left to say
You think you live inside a gilded cage, from what you’ve been through
But this cage I built around me, is just as strong and true
I feel the walls i built crashing down on me; I need to be set free
I don’t want fear and my cage, to be the end of me…. So