Zenobia

This is SO sad. And at the same time it shows how powerful the surviving partner is. You use so few words but you describe the emotions and resulting actions clearly and precisely which makes this a marvelously coherent piece of writing.

Such a positive and powerful poem! I suppose many people ask themselves whom they are looking at when they look in the mirror because normally you don't look consciously. The first stanza feels like a defeat whereas the second stanza is reassuring; I especially like the phrase "sloughing off layers of the old" - like a reptile. "The old" is in us but there's always the potential of a good/better "new".

I suppose I have a vague idea what you're saying although I don't want to be so shallow as to just write that I understand what you're going through. It's hard to carry some memories with you, that much I know, and one can't just bury them but one has to live with them - and it does get better with time. But then, there are still feelings that cannot be controlled (at least not all the time) and it requires much strength to live with them. I'm so sorry to read that obviously the drugs you have to take contribute to this. I've always found it horrible to feel alone and I can only tell you that you're absolutely not alone (I know it won't help much but nevertheless). And whatever you feel, you are still loved. Feel deeply hugged xoxo

All poems are terrifyingly intense. But except for number 3 (which seems to address a very unpleasant and aloof woman you encountered), they speak of the fears that lie hidden in every human being and come to the surface in various forms; some poeple try to bury and ignore them, others reflect on them from time to time, but they are there for sure. Only they erupt and feel so all-encompassing in these poems; it's frightening to read your words but it would be wrong not to read them (or for you not to write them down) out of fear. "No one cares to remember for long" you write, and it would be a lie to say that's never true - but it's also true that in our thoughts we (even involuntarily) recognize what's precious to us and yes, many people care to remember for as long as they live because that's also what life is about. I hope you can let yourself be embraced by some equanimity and lean on your husband. And I have to admit I find it hard to communicate here - now that I'm reading what I've written I'm not sure if it's adequate but anyway, your poems are always stirring up my thoughts.

Now I'm really excited what will come out of it

It's an interesting (and perhapts not consciously planned?) approach to a story and I wish you that everything will come together nicely. I'm not very good with flowers but of course I looked up the words that I didn't know; I'm not very good at thinking in images either. Does it make sense when I say that you create emotional landscapes? All the best xo

Thank you for these sweet little scenes. It's a fast-paced short story but still you manage to convey the insecurities that - despite a pleasant atmosphere - naturally shine through when taking the initiative. Drew and Terry remind me a bit of Charlie and Scott in "Accidents Happen"

You have so much to be proud of, and by that I mean things which you have achieved by yourself. My own experience is that it's hard to accept poeple telling you that when you feel otherwise, nevertheless (or rather: especially because of that experience) I think it needs to be said, and I'm quite sure there are a lot of people who tell you that you've come a long way. Well, some of them left a comment here. It's so hard to assess oneself properly and it seems that you don't give yourself enough credit - realizing when something triggers a behavior that's unhealthy (or even worse) and then telling other people or finding another way to deal with it is a difficult task and requires not only effort and strength but also practice. I wish you that the number of cases you realize early enough what's happening will increase even more. You have every right to be proud of the self-reflective person you are. xo

This is one of my favourite stories here. It is slow-paced, you get to know the characters really well and feel with them. I loved Charlie's journey and could see things from his perspective, he's a totally lovable and believable character, so I was sad to let him go. It's a heartwarming story and very well written. It flows so natural and - well, Comicfan found a way to write the perfect end. I'll not tell too much, read it for yourself - autumn and winter would be the best time to read it but you can read it any time (I re-read it last summer and enjoyed it very much). Don't miss the sequel to this, a short story called "From Here to Forever".

I hope that you let yourself be hugged and held by the person(s) who love you and that this is something that found its way to the surface in order to take some of the pain inside away. Sending you virtual hugs.

What a great story! The dynamics between the two main characters felt totally real. They have to overcome the difficulties which occur as a result of Don's accident, and especially on the emotional level some of them are anything but easy to see, accept, and overcome. Their life together is challenged but also each of them has to rearrange fomer habits. The way you write about their journey seemed so coherent, I could totally relate to Don's and Louis's (re)actions because you made them feel natural and comprehensible within the flow of the story (even if the way especially Don reacted was sometimes not what I expected, I could comprehend why he did). Despite the tragic accident they grow and in the end they have a stronger relationship and connection to each other. Thank you for this fine novel (I'm not sure what the length for a novel is; anyway, it felt like a novel to me).

I always enjoy fine vampire stories... Rokurokubi, I had to look that one up but it can never hurt to expand one's knowledge about vampires & co. The way you alternate between writing the dialogue and Sam's thoughts is really captivating!

I can't even cry, I just feel numb overall while reading it. I'm glad you are here to post these poems - despite their background they are jewels. Because, well - 8., yes, you are and always have been. I admire your courage. It's hard to believe how much self-reflection is in your poems from this time of your life.

They are all magnificent but number 1 is a bit different. You view yourself from the outside here, and not only yourself - it's written from a more general perspective. Those alliterations, the rhythm (and changes in the rhythm) - wow! This is such a classic! A melody celebrating the wordsmith

Although this post is a bit older, I'd like to add to it because I tend to think about the sound (and rhythm) of words a lot and I always get the impression I'm alone at this on an every day level, so to speak - like, I tend to think about these things spontaneously when they occur in everyday life. So, thanks for posting your thoughts on this topic. As a non-native speaker I'm often fascinated with English words which are new to me, or sometimes with words that I don't encounter very often. One of my favourite English words has become serendipity (not English in origin, I know, but it has found its way into the language - and what a nice word it is in every aspect: meaning, sound, and rhythm). Another example would be haphazardly. I guess one could say that phonaesthetics is a key component to (almost) every text. ... and btw: 'limerence', that is difficult to grasp...

Thank you for this great little story, which has a different approach than the majority of stories about these times. You also depicted the insecurities of the two men and the rumors of the other citizens so well. It is nice to read about positive prospects for a love like this at the end of the nineteenth century, combined with the hint at some important people in LGBT history (well, it was mostly about the "G" back then).

Of course living in a society that is tolerant to the core would be great. The fact that we don't makes a statement like Hitzlsperger's still necessary, and when reading the interview or watching his video message (there is one in German and one in English on youtube), it becomes evident that he wanted the issue of homosexual soccer players to be discussed. And at least in Germany soccer/football is seen as very manly, even if the women's national teem is quite successful (I'm not sure to what extent people from other countries know that some of its members have already come out, but with women it's still a different issue, I suppose). I think Hitzlsperger spoke in a very unpretentious and well-balanced way which made him seem like a pretty nice and decent person; it should also be noted that he thought one month before Sotchi was the right time to do this. The interview which is referred to was done exclusively for "Die Zeit" ("The Time"), a German weekly newspaper; if you know a bit German and are interested in the discussion you can read a lot about this on their website (luckily I subscribe to the printed version anyway - it's the only newspaper I read -, so I was quite curious about the interview this morning, even more so because yesterday evening it was the number one topic on the radio news, perhaps on TV as well but I don't watch; well, and of course in the German internet). It's sad that there ist still a problem, and this is something that should be emphasized - of course it would still be highly problematic for an active player to come out. The consensus is just that things are moving into the right direction.

Well, it's not quite the right time of the year for a Christmas story but I came across it for some unknown reason ... and at least for the second time, so I think I should write a short review now This kind of short stories is one of my favourites; I love the way you portray the characters, in fact for me the story is like a poetic character study, combined with elements of a romantic fairy tale. It's heartbreaking and promising at the same time to be involved in the process of seeing Jamie's wall fall. Hm, I'm definitely going to read it again next December.

Thank you SO much for sharing these thoughts. This little piece is somehow in between a short story and a poem, I think - so much is said with these few words, or rather: they offer a whole range of emotions and reflections on your past.

Thank you for this heart-warming and well-written story; the ending fits so nicely into this time of the year. We could accompany Charlie and Scott on their eventful journey and now that they have taken some decisive steps in their relationship, we see them looking forward to a bright future together at the beginning of a new year. Well, of course it would be nice to read what the year will bring them but I'm glad you shared this story so far.

OMG!!! This is so wonderful - I've just seen this entry today and I know I haven't written any reviews for Enigma I and II (due to not having an account on GA at the time) but I love these novels so much! Congrats! Might be the first e-book I buy, after I find out how that works ;-)

... and something else: Walt Whitman is also an interesting person as fas as the topic "homosexuality" is concerned. Unfortunately I haven't read more than one or two poems of him yet. Shakespeare is a completely different case, though. It seems that scholars have fights over many aspects of him - did he really live? Was his name only a pseudonym for about half a dozen of people? Etc. Obviously the less you know about a figure in history, the easier it is to develop the most striking theories.

As I remembered it kind of out of the blue, I'd like to add "Aimeé and Jaguar" which I got to know as a film but it is based on real events during the end of WW2. Aimee and Jaguar are the names the two female lovers gave each other - Aimee was Lilly Wust, Jaguar was Felice Schragenheim, a young Jewish journalist. They lived together for about a year, then Felice was captured by the Gestapo in August 1944 and died at the end of the same year, as it seems. A very tragic story. I think I've seen the film many years ago when it was on German TV and I can recommend it - I'd like to see it again myself ... even if the end is tragic. I don't know if there are any studies about female homosexuality in Nazi Germany; it should be an interesting research topic, though (I suppose there are at least articles as nearly every topic you can think of was discussed when it comes to that time period). As far as I understand it for now (just read the wiki article), Felice was captured because she was Jewish, not because she was homosexual - does this mean that love between females wasn't considered as something that should be taken serious? That is something which applies e. g. also for the Middle Ages, generally spoken, as far as I know. It's also interesting to state that Lilly had four sons and wasn't captured because she had the Mutter(ehren)kreuz -> official name: Ehrenkreuz der Deutschen Mutter, which wiki translates literally with Cross of Honor of the German Mother.

Oh, one other thing comes to my mind: There were laws against homosexuality in (late) antique legislative texts. As the modern western/European law is based on Roman law, it's just interesting to keep that in mind; I don't know how the question of continuity has to be assessed in this case.

Hey there; I hope I can contribute a little bit to this topic. To those of you who speak/can read a bit German, I'd like to recommend a recently publishes book about the last known survivor of a concentration camp who was imprisoned due to his homosexuality (unfortunately, he died in August): Alexander Zinn, "Das Glück kam immer zu mir": Rudolf Brazda - Das überleben eines Homosexuellen im Dritten Reich, 2011. ("Luck always came to me"). I haven't read it yet but I think it should be known and as far as I can see it is recommendable (the publisher is a serious one which has mostly academic books). You can look at the entry wiki gives about Rudolf Brazda (you will also find another biogrophy there, originally written in French and obviously translated into Spanish and Italian). As far as former times are concerned, it is difficult to say to what extent modern categories can be applied (which only means: If you asked a man/woman in ancient/medieval/early modern times whether he/she was homosexual, he/she wouldn't neccessarily understand what you mean by that or what images you have in mind when you think of this term). It is true that there was the kind of relationship between young boys and men in ancient Greece which is known as paiderastia but it can hardly be a model for what we would consider a modern relationship - rather there were certain conditions which had to be fulfilled in order to create such a relationship (which, given that the circumstances were right, was seen as something desirable). There was a distinct paradigm for this kind of "love" (the term ancient text sources use is "eros"). One should also never forget that we are talking here only about a certain social class, i. e. the upper class of society. Then it is important to state that this kind of "love" was typically Greek (Athenian), it was not common in Rome. Sexual intercourse between men as such was not condemned but in Greece as well as in Rome it was dishonorable for a free man to be the bottom. Without doubt Ancient homosexuality portrayed in texts and in the arts was highly important to modern men because... well, because it existed, I assume. At the beginning of the 20th century homosexuality wasn't accepted and wasn't normally mentioned but ancient Greek (and also Latin) literary sources contain a vast amount of references to it. Sometime these passages were not translated (note the term "ad usum delphini") but one should know that it was common for men of these times (here we're again talking about the upper class/classes) to read Greek and Latin fluently (at a German "Gymnasium" they had like 10 hours Greek and 8 hours Latin a week). So - history of reception is an important feature when we talk about ancient homosexuality. I think there is a nice scene in the movie "Maurice" (and in the book) where Maurice and his fellow students have to translate a passage from Aristotle; when it comes to a passage about the love Zeus had for Ganymedes, the professor interrupts and orders to omit the passage. By the way: One shouldn't forget Sappho. Which leads me to point to the different modern terms for homosexual men or women - 'Lesbian' meaning a homosexual woman, whereas 'gay' is the term used for homosexual men and then also for homosexual women. Perhaps a native English speaker could say how common it is to use "gay" for women?